I used to sleep alone. In the battleships, in the camps, on the damp ground, on the fields next to my fellow rebels, next to my lightsaber, next to my destiny.

I used to it, I grew into it as I grew into the Force.

But that night I was not alone… I was exhausted, crawling fatigue was making my mind heavy, unresponsive, restless. I was desperate to get to my lonely bubble, to the safe cocoon of Force around me.

But I was not alone.

There were no eyes watching me, no cameras.

Just lingering presence of the familiar mind.

Morning woke me up with light green light breaking through the window.

I was still bothered by this presence.

But it was easier.

It was easier to see glimmering in the walls of an asymmetric room.

It was easier to see how water was circling in the tubes of various sizes within these walls. I wondered why tubes were of so many colors and shades. I wondered what were the names of some colors. I wondered why I wondered that.

I got out of bed, which actually was a niche in the center of the room.

In the corner of the room was a strange construction that looked like a whirlpool made out of tubes. Looking at what tubes were connected to it, I guessed it was a sort of a shower.

And it was. And it was amazing… As if a small hurricane of air and water and something similar to oils caught me and was gently twirling me around.

I was standing there for ages with water dripping from my wet hair, feeling how oils were soaking into my skin. My shoulders finally relaxed. I felt a wave of calmness washing over me, but it wasn't mine. Immediately I wanted to put on some clothes.

There was a robe left for me, but I disregarded it. Shirt, pants, belt, my ammunition felt nice, felt safe.

When I left the room it was not difficult to find him.

"Good morning!"

He was sitting at the balcony on a floating panel. Ivory shirt and pants looked unbelievably strange on him.

"Good morning," I answered. I just realized that these were the first words I had spoken on this planet.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

I came closer, trying how a lack of a distance will affect me.

"I guess you know how I slept," I said directly, challenging him.

"Well… yes, I know. I got a bit concerned when you fell asleep so early. You were so exhausted…"
"So you spied on me?" I accused him.
"No! Well… I did, but it was not intentional. You probably noticed that our bond is slightly … overwhelming. Didn't you spy on me as well?"
I looked down and back at him.
"Thank you for the dinner. It worked as breakfast as well. The food here is …"
"Unusual?"
"Sufficient."
There was a pause. I leaned over the column looking at him (hopefully) condescending.
I crossed the hands on my chest. His mind was calmer than yesterday. It was gravitating near me, not really touching mine.
"You are still on the list, you know," my voice sounded even more severe. "I have a full authority to arrest you at sight."
"Will you?"
"I can."
"But will you?"
I narrowed my eyes.
"I need to gather some identification details. You do look different."
"Thank you."
I raised my eyebrows.
"For not killing me on sight, I mean. I guess you have authority for this well"
"I do," I said coldly.
I couldn't tell why I attacked him. I guess my mind was biting as a poisonous snake. Snakes do that when they are cornered.

His hands were lying loosely on his knees, his posture was open, inviting. Unconsciously I started mimicking his breathing.

"So will you tell me what happened to you? To Kylo Ren? You were the leader and then you just disappeared…"

"Yeah, I did. I was… I had a lot of plans and …fears. Until one day I saw this vision of the future and I decided to… stop, just leave everything. Hux haunted me for some time. This actually the third planet I tried to settle on."

"What was the vision about?"

"I'd rather not talk about it now," a worrisome wrinkle appeared on his forehead.

"Why?" I challenged him getting angry again.

"You are…anxious."

"You don't get to tell me how I feel!" I exclaimed. A forgotten feeling of rage started to boil up.

"Sorry…" he stood up, getting one step closer to me.

I felt a need to step back, but there was a column behind me. General Rey isn't the one to step back. I touched a lightsaber on my thigh cautiously though.

"Rey… please… I didn't think that it may get harder, but apparently, it can. I am not a threat to you. Don't you know that?" he stepped back still opening his arms in a surrender fashion.

I knew that.

"Then tell me!" I ordered, "tell me why you left First Order."

He nodded and stepped back more.

"It is so strange," he smiled with the foreign smile, smile that I guess was similar to his father's smile." Now it seems like a bad dream… I saw you, dying from Hux's blaster with my hands holding yours. I saw myself killing Hux and taking charge, I saw myself slaying the last fo rebels, I saw First Order thrive… Impressive, right?"
"Wasn't it what you wanted?"
"Somewhat…but I didn't want to hold your hands while he was killing you. So I decided that if there is no one to hold your hands, then you will stay alive. And you did…" his eyes looked at me so sincere that I dropped my hand from the lightsaber.
"Why would you do this?"
"Well… Kylo Ren was rather inconsistent. I don't know what "compassion" meant for him. He was always so confused. I assume a thought of your death was unbearable for him, it was too hard, too atrocious… To be a reason for your death."
"Why do you talk about him as if you are two different people?"
"Well, we are," he chuckled.
I gasped. He "chuckled." I didn't know that he can actually do that.

A monster didn't want to hurt a princess, so it left the story. I wanted to laugh in his face but I didn't need to enter his mind to know that this is what he considered true. It was the truth for him and as much impossible as it sounded, he left the First Order, he did leave it because of this truth.

I felt a need to hold my breath. The burden of the truth was pressing my shoulders, pushing against my chest.

"Why would the thought of me dying bothered him?"
"Isn't it obvious?"

Tension on the border of our minds was like static electricity now, growing, enlarging. This sincerity, this openness was so poisonous. It was making me sick, ill…

I noticed some sweat on his forehead, sorrow in his eyes. He turned and went passed me a few steps.

'Why?" I repeated quite to his back.
He stopped, dropped his head, then raised it up again and turned to face me.

"Do you want me to say it out loud?"

I nodded too brave to confess fear of how devastating it will be.

"He loved you, Rey from Jakku, General of the Republic, the one who refused him."