This place had its own way of life, its own rhythm, its own character.
Mornings began when Second Son was taking its rest. Terra's peculiar creatures came out of its hibernation to start their morning routine.
They were singing or vibrating or doing both at the same time. They were waking up the greenery that slept during Second Son. Large flower petals were opening everywhere, on grass, on roads, on trees, sometimes even inside the human houses. They were slightly glowing, releasing their seeds.
Terra's singers as I called them recited its singing for hours. When glowing of the flowers had consumed everything they would stop. Pinkish singers would take dishes made out of old petals and then water all the flowers. Every flower was watered, each one, no matter where it grew.
They would gather flower roots, one root branch from each flower.
The roots were soft and delicious like many other things on this planet.
After the watering ritual, some kids usually came to the house I stayed in. This was when I heard how they called him. Master Jey.
The inner yard of the house was a training ground. I watched him train with children for several hours per day. It was hard to say if he was training them as Jedi. He didn't call it like that, but the Force was strong with them.
I was looking at a human boy who was standing on the palm of his own hand on the ball in the center of the yard. Cubic toys were floating above him.
Master Jey was different. He was relaxed with them, especially when I was not around, but he still didn't stop me when I watched.
It reminded me of my past ambitions for reviving Jedis. I never got to this. The universe needed saving and blasters worked just fine.
I longed for my dreams and even envied him a bit.
A small Terra singer was standing on his master's shoulders. A small singer jumped higher and froze in the air. I tensed pulling on Force threads trying to be ready for a child to fall.
His master caught him obviously. Obviously.
The lesson ended with a half an hour of mediation right before when Terra's singers were going to work.
He worked with them and I worked too. It was routine work. Fixing broken houses, patching the road, but, what was more important, getting purple stones from the mountain. A large stone river was like a vein within the mountain. Stones were always there and there was never a lack of them.
It didn't seem hard, but when First Son was going to its rest I always felt exhausted.
That day I was again tired. Tired, but content.
"Thirsty?" he offered me a drink and I took it eagerly. Water with flowery scent was cold and felt wonderful going down my throat.
I caught his look.
"What?"
"Nothing," he smiled. "Do we overwork General of Resistance?"
"Is ex-general of First Order tired?" I bit back.
"You won," he laughed surrendering his hands.
"I did," I nodded.
Right… I remembered. I was not on vacation… I was a victorious champion. I did win.
We didn't talk much since that morning. He showed me this town (planet?) routine. And I did my part here. I didn't want to be a guest.
I grew accustomed to his presence as you get used to longer hair or new clothes. Sometimes I even managed to prevent his emotions affecting me. Sometimes I didn't.
Once I woke up at night scared and disoriented, I felt like I had a bad dream that wasn't going to end. Only minutes later I managed to understand that it was not my dream. That morning I didn't see him on the balcony for the first time. Uneasiness didn't let me go the whole day.
"Hard?" he asked. He distracted me from my thoughts.
'What?"
"Be you?"
"Is it hard to be you?"
"It was, but I try to believe that I am not that person anymore."
"Ahh…yes, vision," I sounded too sarcastic so I continued, "I mean you could have told earlier about… everything."
"Do you think it would have changed your path?"
"It might have been…I killed Hux and many others. Maybe it is a result of your stepping away."
"I see…" he dropped his head into his hands with a strange expression on his face as if he was disgusted.
"Too ugly and murderous for your perfect garden?
"No!" he exclaimed sharply turning to me "I didn't mean it like that… I am just …sorry you had to go through it."
I straighten up as if I was on the Resistance meeting.
"I am not sorry. It had to be done."
He nodded.
"Thank you for not holding my hands," I said thinking of how it might have gone if his vision came true.
A wrinkle appeared on his forehead and he stood up
"Get rest and come to dinner when the moon turns purple," he said shaking his head.
"Okay," I said feeling that it was not what he wanted to say and his actual thought was at the top of his mind, but I didn't dare to take it.
"You know… I think I failed you after all," he shrugged turning to the path down the mountain.
I didn't follow him.
The purple moon was touching a floor of the balcony. It was nice to have dinner outdoors. He was usually cooking. I was usually silently eating.
His emotions were depressing today. I felt them sticky on my skin, going through my pores, through my reluctance to feel them.
"Don't," I told him when he just opened his mouth.
"Do you know what I am going to say?"
"No, I am trying not to know, but your…sadness is toxic."
"Won't it be helping your investigation if I talked more?"
"What's your name?" I put away my spoon and stared at him.
"Jey"
"I don't believe it to be Jey. I believe that the rest of the universe knows you as Kylo Ren and a few people - Ben Solo. Well, maybe only me at this point."
"So do you want to call me Ben?"
"It is not about what I want."
"It is here."
"I don't like these games."
He put away his spoon as well.
"Who defines my name? First Order databases? Republic databases? My parents?"
"There is a procedure for it."
"There is none of it here."
"This planet is a part of the structure. And anyway, did you give yourself a name?"
"No. They just started calling me like that and it worked."
"Do they know who you are?"
"I am Jey to him."
"I'll rephrase it. Do they know your past?
"Maybe. I don't know."
"Well… I know your past and I will call you Kylo until you prove otherwise."
"Prove what?"
"That you are not him. That you are not the last Sith."
"Last evil in the universe?"
"Not last, but definitely evil."
"Recently I wondered if there is any evil at all. Why is Dark opposite to Light? What is the difference between them? Dark Force kills people? Yes, it does but hasn't Light kill Siths. How is it different? Has Dark Force bearers oppressed planets? Won't there be a tax system from Resistance as well? So what is so dark in Dark? I am not saying that First Order was a perfect structure. I am just saying that it was … a structure."
"You won't talk me into this philosophic bullshit!"
"Can I talk you into something else?"
"What?"
"Calling me Jey."
"Not until you prove that you are not Kylo Ren."
"Deal," he took back his spoon.
I watched him for a few seconds. He did return to the meal. I cautiously took a spoon as well, but I was not hungry anymore.
It was never dark on Terra, not really. So I think everyone saw how I visited my ship every day. I didn't care. I needed to report and report I did. But it was all the same. Phrases about "hidden threat", "hidden criminal", "needing more time to investigate". This time Poe actually reached me. My hideous answers made him slightly angry, but he got over it. He trusted me.
He told me that he was at the First Order ex-headquarters. Well, what we left of it.
I remembered that day.
I was so happy. We celebrated a couple of days like children, drunk and crazy with a victory. We cried for those who left us. For Finn, for Rose, for Leia, for many many others. We drank for those who stayed. And Poe... Well, there was never time for that, so we stayed friends.
I promised him to get back with details in a couple of weeks. I felt sick promising it. I knew that there was no way out. Whether I lie again, whether I tell the truth or whether I keep silent, he was definitely coming here.
And I was not ready to deal with Poe too.