Hi all! This chapter was a struggle. I was making a better progress with 6th chapter than with this one for some time. And today, after 4 hours of sleep, 5 hours of train ride, I just... completed it. Life is an interesting thing. Hope you will enjoy it and it will be worth your time. P.S. I will start to mark Rey's thoughts in italic. I am not sure if it will be clear from the context. I will greatly appreciate feedback on this topic...and any other recommendations. Thank you!

That was one of these mornings when I just couldn't sleep. First Son hasn't even started his journey. I was rolling in the bed, awake, but slightly exhausted, with my body refusing to get back to sleep.

I thought that it probably was too early for him to wake up so I got up, grabbed a blanket and left the room as I were.

I should have had more careful.

"Good morning!"

Obviously, he was there already. I wondered if I woke him up.

"Morning," I grumped and thought of a way to get back to my room. I hadn't even brushed my hair. Not a proper look for a general or any human being to be honest.

"I couldn't sleep either. It is a terrible time of the moon cycle."

"It explains a lot," I commented hiding my eyes and taking blanket up to my neck, wondering if my robe was not too revealing.

"Would you like to have a walk?" he asked. I looked him over. How could he look so fresh so early? I also wondered who braided his hair and why his clothes sat so right on him. Why, oh Force, I was wondering that?

"Now?"

"You are not going to get back to sleep, are you?"

"I don't think it is possible…Okay. I just need to… do something…."

"More like everything," I thought to myself.

"I'll wait."

I got back to the room reminding myself that I should "track" him better. Did I get so used to him being around that I left my guard down?

I combed my hair and dove into the water stream near the sink. I slightly watered my hair giving it a slightly messy look and got to my clothes.

As usual, I put on everything, even my lightsaber. I shivered with the thought that I hadn't used it even once here. It felt like a dead weight on my waist, but I knew too well to leave it in the room.

Whatever was happening, the person behind the door still looked like Kylo Ren.

"Ready?"

He looked rather enthusiastic and I guessed I could have imagined his mind in rainbows.

He handed me a bottle with flower water and I followed him out of the house.

Terra's singers were still in their hibernation so it was really quiet outside.

Per our habit, we didn't talk much outside.

Our path led us to the main road, but we turned right to the mountain and then left to something like a garden.

Well, this whole planet was one big garden, but this garden was definitely a human creation.

We walked along a dark blue path that opened for us a small hill with a bench on it.

"It is a perfect view. We can meditate if you'd like to."

"I prefer solitude for it," I answered cautiously.

"I guessed so… That's fine. You can just watch how First Son wakes up."

We sat on the bench and it felt awkward for some reason. Probably because we were not doing anything. It was easier when we had work to do, but here we just sat and watched.

He seemed to be calmer than usual or maybe I was just less perceptive today.

I watched the moon disappearing in the rays of First Son when I felt his hand on mine.

It was so easy that I almost didn't notice at first.

His hand was so warm…

I pretended that it was nothing, but every cell in my body felt his smooth palm, his long fingers stroking mine.

His fingers were searching for my affection.

It was light, it was so casual…

As if he did it every day as if I did this every day.

A bench log was slightly uncomfortable, it was still damp from morning dew, it chilled my palm, but it didn't matter. His palm was covering my hand. My hand would never get cold. There was so much warmth in his fingers that it spread all over me.

I ignored it.

He ignored it.

Our hands were within their own universe. There was a galaxy giving birth between us, but we ignored it.

His fingers were measuring distances from my knuckles to my nails, they calculated miles of my morning drowsiness.

They were inviting…

I kept my fingers tight to each other, so tight that I thought my elbow would start to shake from the effort.

I was not allowing him that.

No, no, no….

His fingers slid to the side of my hand to see if my palm would be more welcoming to open up.

In the morning light, we looked like statues of trees. Did tress think that we are like them? Did they care? Would they care if they could?

I felt chills on my back when I heard him sigh. Just slightly, but I caught this change. His fingers found their rest.

His palm moved next to mine. Warmth retraced with his palm and I already missed it.

I dropped my head to look where his hand went.

It was close, a chasm of inches, a trench of seconds…

I shifted to the side. I didn't need to. I was comfortable.

But I moved and my hand moved with me. It closed the distance.

He still didn't look at me.

I still didn't look at him.

But my hand was covering his.

"Rey,

You lost your mind."

I was reminding myself about it for the whole day. Because I needed it to sink.

"How inconsistent should you be? You just threaten him with jail, you put him on trial period and you then held hands with him netting sunrise."

I couldn't name all the things that were wrong here. I probably committed some kind of felony or betrayed Resistance in a way. It was wrong. Bond or not. It was wrong.

"And if he is deceiving me what then? How weak you look now? How pathetic?

Is holding hands is the only proof you need?

So yes, Rey, you've lost your mind.

You've lost your mind ... but ...didn't it feel good?"

I worked a lot that day, I was taking the most difficult tasks, I scratched my hands and legs on stones, I dragged myself to bed without dinner.

And after all this, falling asleep, I hid my face in the pillow knowing that it did feel good... oh Force, it felt so good.

"Ease a little," he playfully said getting me out of my concentration.

I didn't hear when he approached and it startled me. The thought that something like this could startle me surprised me even more.

He touched my wrist lightly probably surprised by my expression, thinking that I might fall.

It was not the case, of course, but his touch felt strange.

"Sorry," he smiled.

"It is the first time in years someone managed to catch me off guard. Well, good thing you are a Jedi or I would think I am losing it…by the way what you meant by "ease"?"
"You are not relaxed. I see your shoulders so tense that I can break a stone over them," he commented, leaning over the column.
"I am used to be cautious," I answered taking a sitting position and closing my eyes.

I thought that he will take a hint, but he was still standing. I formed a routine of practicing early first Son mornings, and he never joined me. I opened my eyes and glared at him.
"Would you like to try something different?" he asked.
"What do you mean by different?"
"I can show… May I?"
"O…kay"

He sat in front of me. He crossed his legs and stretched both of his hands palms up.

I mimicked his hands and let myself close eyes, trying to feel my lightsaber next to me, just in case.

He started humming something. It was slightly similar to Terra's songs.

I thought about the flower that was blooming each morning on my balcony, about a large rainbow -colored insect flying over it.

I tuned with it.

"I will touch your hands. Okay?"

"If it is …. necessary."

The soft flow of his thoughts did a small jump when our hands got closer.

His touch was careful, he just supported my hands, not really holding them.

It bothered me still.

He started humming again, but it became more melodic. I saw flowers again, more flowers, they were blooming all over my ceiling, all over the sky, I saw my hands that were glowing as petals.

"Feel the Force…" he said.

The petals were forming into something and disappearing.

"Feel Force, relax every muscle of your body, give it our to Force. Get back to it, you came from Force, let it take you."

His hands finally stopped bothering me. I entered Force with habitual familiarity, but his voice, power in this voice, circled between us and finally, I stopped feeling the difference.

We were the Force.

I let myself open my eyes.

I didn't see threads as I usually did. I didn't see light or darkness. Everything was … transparent, glowing and transparent, glimmering with thousands of colors and having no color at all.

I couldn't see him, I couldn't see our hands.

Astonishment washed over me and I inhaled deeply bringing back feeling to my lungs.

What seemed to be a person looked at me, his features started forming.

Balance got shifted, I felt again a part of the Force that was his and it caught me. It was so majestic, it swirled me over.

I felt the blood in my veins, I felt it rushing to my belly bringing back a feeling of affection, attachment, devotion.

The balance shifted too much. I felt Force outside of me, supporting me in the air as we were floating over the chasm.

Devotion became tangible, it woke hormones, that turned floating feeling into attraction, lust.

I felt his hands burning mine, his skin as hot as honey next to my skin.

I leaned and screamed when I felt nothing under me when fall was inevitable.

"You are here… That's all right…You are safe."

I was screaming with my forehead pressed to his shoulder. He was touching my back with his fingertips as if I was a child that woke up during a nightmare.

I angrily pushed him away.

"You should have prepared me!" I yelled standing up.

He opened his mouth to say something looking lost and guilty.

I didn't give him this opportunity storming from a terrace.

I walked all day. I knew that morning experience was just one of the techniques that I could have mastered if I spent less time in battles, meetings, and other general's stuff. That was not a disappointing factor.

My reaction was, of course, what bothered me. My... affection towards him. I had no idea if he felt it too, but I had to be honest with myself. There was an attraction. It started long ago when I was so passionate about saving Ben Solo and it was still strong now when I met this stranger that was bonded with me, who burdened me, who ... excited me.

He had looks of Kylo Ren, he had the voice of Kylo Ren, but he did seem to be so different.

When I got back to the house, he wasn't there. I wanted to stay away, but I felt an urge to find him.

I didn't need to ask where he was. The bond was calling for me and I followed it.

Going through bluegrass meadow I soon came to a mountain foot. It was hard to go up, a rocky path was steep, but I climbed up.

The bond was stronger here, but his mind was distracted and distressed. I came to the village of terra's singers, to the one old shabby looking house.

There were no window glasses so I saw perfectly what was happening inside. There were two terra's singers on their knees howling quietly. There was one terra singer with his hand stretched to the human next to him.

A person in a dark cloak with a bloody red lightsaber that was glowing as a cross.

My heart jumped. The sight was so familiar.

A bright red lightsaber flew up in the hand that didn't tremble and when it went down, I was running into the house with my own lightsaber in hand.

I jumped to him as if I was getting ready for this moment since I came here.

Maybe I actually did.

I felt so certain know. All doubts disappeared. Everything became black and white.

He is an evil, I am the light. He would be punished, I would prevail.

My lightsaber missed my hand like I missed its assertion. I welcomed this feeling and when I got closer to Kylo's unprotected throat, I felt almost righteous.