Author's note: So I am back here and I will need to change rating to M. For some reason, this story comes easy in writing and very difficult in editing to me. But I am going to finish it no matter what happens :) I would like to thank everyone who supports me. I hope that you find it enjoyable. Thank you!

I was elevated when I finally left the house. I felt strong, I felt as if I rediscovered myself again.

And he was there.

Not-Kylo came back to his calm supporting role. I looked at the sun floating in his gorgeous dark hair and wondered whether it smelled like flower water here.

Walking towards the river to fill in a water tank for human settlement. I wondered over and over how would it feel to have my hand on the sea of his hair. Would it be soft?

I was trying to be careful with these wondering, but I caught a mysterious smile on his face a few times.

Maybe I was not that careful after all.

Making water go up to the tubes was not hard. Not stare to my partner who was doing the same thing in from of me was harder.

"It will rain," he said when we started pushing more water up.

I looked into clear skies.

"It doesn't seem like it. Why do you think so?"

"I lived here for too long."

As if on command I felt the first droplet on my shoulder.

"We'd better go," he said.

The rain caught up at full strength when we were midway. It was cold, it was freezingly cold as if it was melted snow.

We ran the rest of the way and when we got home we were soaking wet.

I tried to even my breath. It was dark inside, but neither he or I moved to turn the light on. We didn't even move from the corridor trying to catch our breath.

It was noisy outside and we watched the rain pouring over the porch for some time.

Well, he watched the rain, I was trying to do as well, but….

I couldn't help it.

Since I came here I was so careful to allow only bits of any physical connection. Our minds were so all over each other, that the physical aspect should have made doing what was right even more difficult.

But I was cold right now. My clothes were wet, warm walls were not so warm after all. A damp shirt was sending shivers down my spine. What was worse: in the dim light of the corridor, I saw him, watching me, not moving, not doing anything just watching me pressed to the wall, cold and out of breath. Droplets of rain over the skin of my neck, hair stick to his forehead, my thoughts messed up, his presence devouring.

I couldn't help it.

Fear mixed with curiosity was taking me over, it was parting my lips as I watched light trapped in the color of his skin. I could have run upstairs to hide under the blanket, but I liked to pretend that this thought never crossed my mind. I wanted to and…

I couldn't help it.

I took the two steps towards him and he wrapped his hands around me without second thought.

I gasped, my hands automatically embracing him back.

His warmth was soothing, calming. I couldn't get enough.

In the hideout of this dark corridor, nothing seemed to be embarrassing. His hands were stroking my back trying to divide the warmth, but my clothes were clamming to my back.

"Wait…wait," I whispered pulling away slightly.
"Stay."
"Just a second," I pulled away enough to take a hem of my shirt and take it off. I felt liberated and so bold that I grabbed the hem of his shirt. He didn't object it and it also found its place on the floor.

As soon as fabric touched the floor he pulled me back into his arms. He was breathing more deeply now. His hands moved slowly along my back. I pressed my cheek to his chest and shivered slightly. He embraced me even tighter.

It was warm. I didn't care about anything else while I was diving into the radiation of his skin.

Seconds, minutes…

I put a weight on a different leg and turned another cheek to his chest when his hands stopped stroking my back. They slid up to my shoulders and stayed there.

I knew what he was waiting for. His mind was not an enigma to me and that emotion was strong. It sparkled over the surface of our connection as small fireworks.

I guess I would have known what he wanted even if there was no connection between us.

He pulled me from him just slightly. I pressed my forehead to his chest with my breathing getting sharper.

I felt his chin slightly stroking my forehead, inviting me, suggesting to raise my head.

"It will only complicate things," I begged him (myself?).

"Your mind is…"

"Stop. You are naked in my mind already. You know that. You feel that…Do you?"

"I do," he breathed back, slightly pushing blurry imagery into my thoughts. White cloth… my lips parted…my chest slightly arching… my collarbones in shades of the dim light…

"Oh…" I whispered back. My knees got shaky.
One of his hands got back to my waist and pressed me closer to him.

I imagined myself biting his neck and then towering over him, letting his hands secure my naked thighs to his. I knew he would see that.

"Rey," there was a smile in his voice. I knew I was wrong to tease him, but he should have hidden his thoughts better.

I pinched his mind getting one more picture of my naked back.

I inhaled and let my lips slightly touch the skin of his chest.

Roughly, he jumped from the wall and turned us around pressing me to the wall with one swift motion. His forehead now was next to my mine and if I had opened my eyes I knew I would see his features in the dim light. His lips that waited for mine.

"Let me kiss you…"

I shook my head.

"You know it is wrong. It will mess up … all this."

"All what?"

"All us," I opened my eyes.

"Aren't we messed up already?"

I couldn't tell him anything else. Border of our minds was shivering next to each other. I knew that when he kisses me, we would breach that border and I had no idea what would wait for us afterward. Would we lose ourselves into each other? Wouldn't we ever be able to separate ourselves?

"Jey," I said.

His eyes flew open and he slightly eased the grasp over me.

"I couldn't say it before, because… I didn't want to. Because it would have meant that you've changed and it was too hard to admit. But now… I want to know Jey. I want to know why you are not Kylo, why you are not Ben anymore. And I want to kiss Jey, not the image based on agonizing lust that connects us right now. Kiss you."

He tilted his head back and sighed. His arms slightly squeezed my shoulders and he stepped back.

I already regretted it looking at his chest in more light.

"I will stay here for a while. Go upstairs. I won't …bother you."

"You will," I admitted sadly.

I took my shirt from the floor and put it on.

"You will be in my dreams until the morning," I confessed.

He smirked.

"Will you share them?"

"Will you share yours?" I teased back.

"You are killing me…Just go upstairs already," he reprehended me playfully.

"Thank you and…" I paused walking to the stairs, "Goodnight, Jey"

There was nothing calm about that night.