Disquiet prickled along every inch of Shepard's skin, doubt gnawing at her a little more as each second hobbled past. She should never have left Liara. Who knew if Aethyta could be trusted, and if she couldn't . . . it didn't take a gun or blade to bring down someone as vulnerable as Liara was in her current state. The captain shoved herself up out of her chair and paced over to the bar. Despite scrolling through the menu on the kiosk three times, she didn't order anything. Her brain didn't even register the drinks, her mind's eye trying to see through the closed door behind her.
You never stop risking people, do you? It's pathological.
She jumped, a faint curse escaping as a hand closed on her elbow sending sparks searing along her nerves. "Sweet baby Jesus, Nihlus." She slapped a hand over her heart. "You scared the crap out of me."
"Most people come to bars to relax rather than wind themselves into a knot so tight it'll take a couple of tow barges to pull it apart," Nihlus whispered. He pointed to the screen and outloud said, "Try this one. It's juice from a tree-fruit native to a small asari colony planet. I can't drink it, but I've heard it's very good."
She answered him with a soft, grateful smile. Juice ordered, she allowed him to guide her back to the table where she returned to stewing. Ashley and Tali chatted back and forth, but their conversation washed over her without registering. Sipping the juice, she found herself pleasantly surprised.
"Good?" Nihlus asked.
"Yeah, really good," she replied. "Don't really have anything to compare the flavour to, but it's wonderful. Thanks for recommending it. My usual cranberry juice has competition." She reached under the table to squeeze his hand. "I'm fine, Nihlus. I just . . .."
He nodded, turning his hand over to grip hers. "I know, you're just imagining every sick or horrible thing the matriarch could be saying in there to mess with our young Prothean expert."
When she pulled her hand back—professional distance rearing its practical head—he held onto it, not so tight that if she really wanted to get loose, she couldn't, but enough for her to know that he needed an anchor. She could give him that.
The door to the back room opened, and Liara emerged, the asari searching out Shepard even before crossing the threshold. She didn't look at Aethyta as the matriarch passed them, returning to the bar. Shepard did, glad to see the matriarch's body language relaxed, although her expression remained . . . complicated. For the most part, the asari matron mask remained in place, but here and there fault lines allowed brief flashes of regret . . . and love . . . yeah, love and a bright joy to shine through. If Shepard doubted the story of Aethyta's paternity, those last two chinks in the asari's armour reassured her.
"Ready to get back to the Normandy?" Shepard asked, standing to greet Liara. She gripped the researcher's upper arm and searched Liara's expression. Unlike Aethyta, Liara remained completely inscrutable, so either things hadn't gone well or she was practicing her asari matriarch several hundred years early.
Liara smiled. It came off tremulous and wan, but a smile it remained. "Yes, Captain. May I speak with you when we get back aboard?" She glanced at Nihlus. "You as well, if I may, Spectre Kryik."
Nihlus stood, giving Liara a curt nod. "Of course, Dr. T'Soni."
"Okay," Shepard said, keeping her voice low as she spoke into her radio. "Nihlus and Wrex on point. The lovely turian-human couple can follow drag at a good distance." Glad to be moving back toward her ship, Shepard struck out, wings spread to guide her ducklings through the door. She didn't like so many of them being so exposed in an environment that limited both visibility and control over the environment.
Before she walked out the door, she glanced back to find Aethyta watching her. The matriarch smiled and nodded. Despite not having a clue what Aethyta meant by either, Shepard appreciated the attempt to communicate. Perhaps she meant the gesture as reassurance. At that point, Shepard would take what she could get.
They made it back to the Normandy without incident. She supposed that Nos Astra proved a far more public place to ambush than the back grasslands of Tuntau. Still, she remained outside the airlock, herding her people inside before following. Just before Tali slipped past, Shepard caught the quarian's arm. "I'd like to speak with you in the comm room after Liara is finished with us," she said, keeping her voice soft and between the two of them.
Tali nodded.
"Thank you," Shepard called when the inner hatch opened to release them from decon. "Good work, people."
Liara said nothing as she walked alongside Shepard down the length of the CIC and into the comm room. She just took her usual seat and folded her hands in her lap, watching as Shepard and Nihlus seated themselves. Nothing about her demeanour alarmed Shepard, but neither did the young researcher give anything away. She'd closed off, which made Shepard suspect she knew what choice Liara had made regarding her mother's legacy.
Settling into her chair, Shepard waited, allowing Liara to control the conversation. Her alarm remained quiet at the base of her skull, not helping in the least.
"I've decided to accept my mother's charge," Liara said, her voice soft but sharper than before. "Aethyta will accompany me back to my mother's estate on Thessia. The fact she's my father and Benezia's executor will ensure that I maintain control of my inheritance." Her head shook a little as if some hidden part of her still didn't believe any of it could be true. "Shiala wishes to remain aboard until the rachni queen is settled, then she'll join me as well."
"Good." Shepard gave her a tight smile. "Like I said yesterday, we'll support you, even bail you out if you need it." She shrugged, a certainty settling into her gut. "But, I don't think that we're going to need to. You'll be brilliant. Just don't give up the old passion completely." She winked. "That new dig on Eden Prime might be glad of a patron with some mad archeological skills."
Liara giggled, a little of the girl showing through again at last. "I was thinking that I might do that, and then make sure I keep up a tight schedule of inspections." A small sigh wiped away the smile. "My mother's private yacht and a large squad of her acolytes are ready to go whenever I am." She stood and squared her shoulder. "I'll message you when I'm ready to leave?"
Shepard stood and walked over, gripping Liara's shoulders. "Absolutely. Take your time. It'll be hours before we get clearance."
Liara gripped Shepard in a quick, but tight hug, whispering, "I know that we don't know one another as well as it seems to me because of our melding. I've kept my distance, not wanting to intrude. I know how private you are." The asari flushed, colour rising across the bridge of her nose. "But, we've shared those memories . . . if you ever want someone to talk to . . .." She pulled away, not quite meeting Shepard's eyes.
"Thank you, Liara. The offer means a great deal." Shepard backed up a couple of steps, feeling more naked than if the asari had snatched away her clothing. The offer would remain unaccepted, but that didn't diminish the kindness of the gesture. She glanced toward Nihlus, glad that the Spectre remained in his seat, and hopefully out of earshot.
Giving them both a quick, shy nod, the researched fled up the short ramp and out the door.
The door didn't even get a chance to close before Tali stepped through. "You wanted to see me, Shepard?"
"I did." Shepard gestured for Tali to sit. "I have a huge favour to ask of you, Tali . . . on behalf of your people."
Tali giggled and looked from Shepard to Nihlus and back. "You're asking me to do a favour for my people?"
A serious nod met her question. "I am."
The quarian mirrored the captain's earnest sincerity as she drew herself up, perched on the edge of her seat. "Anything, Shepard. You know that I'll do whatever I need to."
Shepard smiled. "I do." She walked over to sit beside Tali. "I need you to partner up with Legion. Both of you will be at the Luna planning meeting in the morning. I intend to team you up for one of the strike teams, but more than that, I want you to work together every day between now and Virmire. You'll lead a team to find and free the pilgrims and Saren's other hostages."
Tali wrung her hands, the three fingers in constant motion, tangling and twisting. Shepard reached out and gripped them. "I'm going to ask Legion to bring in two more geth to assist with the op. It'll only work if the two of you trust one another as much as we can manage in the time we've got." She let out a long sigh, relaxing down into the chair a little. "You can say no, Tali, but I think if we manage this, after Virmire we'll be able to convince a small group of your people to launch an expedition to Rannoch. A first step in getting your people back on their planet where they belong."
Shepard looked to Nihlus, meeting the stare that burned into her with both a raptor's intensity and a sort of wonder . . . the latter making her more uncomfortable than the first, but she wanted to see if he thought her idea mad or not. She fought to keep a grin off her face. Most padawans would probably have cleared it with their Jedi first. She wondered if Nihlus had boarded the Normandy knowing that she'd run him as much as she did.
Tali let out a soft, musical sigh, drawing Shepard's attention back to her. She nodded. "I can do that, Shepard. I said anything, and I meant anything." She chuckled, but it trembled a little like a the soft warble of a dove. "Even become partners with a geth." She turned to face Shepard a little more squarely. "Thank you, Shepard."
Glancing around, suddenly as awkward as she felt assured the moment before, Shepard shrugged. "For what, Tali?"
The engineer took a deep breath, hesitating for a few seconds as if ordering her thoughts. "For everything, but mostly for believing in me, in my people . . . even in the geth. I never expected to find people like you . . ." She looked over at Nihlus. ". . . and Nihlus . . . any of the crew . . . on my pilgrimage. Quarians are just suit rats to ninety-nine percent of the galaxy. You'd make us valued partners. That means so very much to every quarian, even if I'm the only one to say it. Thank you."
Shepard nodded. "You're welcome, but you should be thanking yourself. Your people couldn't have a better ambassador." She nodded toward the door. "Go find your new partner, do a little bonding. I'll see you at 0630."
Tali nodded, popped up out of her seat and hurried out the door.
Nihlus let out a soft chuckle. "You're a mad woman, but it always works to the best. How do you manage that?"
Shepard gave him an honest, baffled shrug. "No idea. Let's just hope my luck holds."
"So . . .." Nihlus stood, stretching a little as he adjusted his armour. "About what happened on Tuntau . . .."
She leaned back and crossed her ankle over her other knee, but just met his gaze with a curious one.
"Meet me for dinner tonight? We can catch a little shore leave, and I can explain what happened somewhere the walls don't have ears." He took a couple of steps toward her.
"Sure." She checked her chronometer, her mind whirring through the schedule too fast to allow her heart and nerves to chime in on the whole dinner with Nihlus idea. Feeling the slip in her concentration, she focused on the time and started talking. "Jeez, it's already 1600. Meet in an hour and a half? That'll give me some time to mug someone for some civvies and slap a face on, but give us a few hours before port authority clears us for departure."
He nodded and smiled. "I'll meet you at the airlock."
Oh sweet baby Jesus. Dinner with Nihlus.
"Spirits," Garrus said then let out a soft whistle. "Who are you, and what have you done with Shepard?"
Blushing, her heart doing a salsa inside her chest, Shepard twirled, both savouring the sensation of the candy-apple red silk clinging to her curves and feeling a little exposed. Although, compared to the black number on Omega, the short sleeves and knee-length skirt practically constituted a nun's habit. "You like?" She grinned at the helpless sort of mandible flutter that answered her question. "I borrowed it from Ash. Poor woman hasn't even had a chance to wear it." Running her palms down over her hips, Shepard shrugged. "It's too big, but at least I won't stretch it out."
"Yes, I like it very much." He chuckled and held out a hand. "Stop fussing; you look stunning." Pulling her into his arms when she took his hand, he caressed her cheek with the backs of his talons. "Nihlus will be the envy of everyone who sees you tonight."
"How about you?" she asked, only sort of teasing. She loved his lack of jealousy and possessiveness, but hated it too. And she hated that she hated it. She shouldn't need someone to act jealous to feel wanted. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to clear away the crazy.
She opened her eyes, meeting his stare as he cleared his throat and nuzzled her cheek. "Well, I'm a special case."
A twinge . . . a vague ache pushed against the inside of her ribcage at his words, but she covered it with a smile, refusing to give her insecurity a chance to lose its head. "You are that."
He smiled, just a small flutter of mandibles underwritten by a subvocal rumble. "Well, I know who you're coming home to."
The ache burst into a bright nova of happiness so keen that it shamed her a little, and though she smiled and reached out to touch his cheek, she stepped back.
Garrus cleared his throat and looked down. "So, while you were in the shower, I modified your omnitool." He reached out to activate it. He held her wrist gently between his talons. "I boosted your shields by 300%, but don't abuse them. Still get behind cover as quickly as you can, because as overclocked as the emitters are, they take a good long time to cool down and bring your shields back." He drew her toward him. "They're for surviving the first few seconds of an ambush, not for swaggering through a long fight like some sort of crazy woman."
Shepard sighed and grumbled. "Aw . . . think how hot I'd look in this dress . . . these shoes . . . gun in both hands." She laughed at his chuff and kissed his nose. "Thank you. I promise to use your upgrades in the pursuit of surviving the fight rather than being the sexy hotness of death."
"Thank you." Garrus gathered her back into his arms, pulling between his thighs to press her against him. "I want you to do me a favour tonight," he said, his mouth next to her ear. His breath sent effervescent sparkles of delight racing through her body, lifting her skin into gooseflesh.
She pressed her cheek against his mandible. "What's that?" She turned her face into his warm, tough hide and inhaled deep, his scent turning the sparkles into fireworks.
"Treat it like a date."
She pulled back as far as he'd allow and scowled at him. "Why would I do that, Garrus?"
His mandibles worked, his head tilting a little as he considered his reply. Couldn't be anything good if he needed to put that much thought into how to say it. Her heart fluttered, the wings of a baby bird poised on the brink of falling from its nest.
"Exploration," he said at the end of the long pause. He reached up and caressed her face. "Exploration in the spirit of making an informed decision. You and Nihlus have a connection." He shrugged, but it wasn't dismissive, quite the opposite. "You need to know what sort of connection it is, because just hanging out there, unresolved, it's going to make it impossible for the three of us to work together."
Shepard wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself in tight. "Thank the great, glorious light of the Enkindlers that I slobbered all over Harkin to find out about you." She chuckled then pulled back far enough to kiss him, their mouths moving softly against one another.
"Wait . . . those lips touched Harkin? Gross, Shepard. Get back!" He chuckled and nuzzled along the line of her jaw. "Go, just be Jane Shepard for a night. I'll use the time to catch up on all the sleep I miss because of your snoring."
Shepard kissed him again. "Behave. I'll be back in a few hours." She pulled away a little, a thin trickle of sadness running through her. They should be spending some normal time together. "When do we get to go on a date? I don't count making out in the cockpit of the Mako." She caressed his cheek.
"When we get to the Citadel after Luna, we'll go out on a proper date. Okay?" He nodded, then reached around her to pat the small of her back, grinning when he found her sidearm hidden under her skirt. "I was going to suggest you take it. Forgot who I was talking to for a moment." Jerking his head toward the door, he gave her a gentle push. "Get moving, you're going to be late." He squeezed her hand and then released her.
"Yeah. See you later." She backed toward the door a few steps before turning to stride out. On the other side, just before the door closed, she glanced back to see him staring at his hands, showing just a split second of honest regret before he drew in a breath and straightened.
"There it is. Thank goodness. You are something else, Brother Garrus," she whispered then turned away and hurried for the stairs to the CIC. She had little doubt that Nihlus would be waiting, and yes, as much attraction as she might feel for the Spectre, right then, she just wanted to curl up next to her . . . she gave her head a small shake of disbelief . . . boyfriend.
"Wow," Joker called, wolf-whistling as she stepped into the cockpit. "I take back what I said before the Afterlife mission. When you go for the pretty, you do almost look female."
"Why haven't I installed a brig, yet?" she asked, cuffing him gently on the back of the head. "That's no way to speak to your captain, mister." She heard the distinctive tread of pacing boots on deck plating coming from inside the airlock. "Take care of my ship, Mr. Moreau."
"Yes, ma'am."
Nihlus spun to face her as she stepped through the inner hatch. His mandibles spread wide and flicked once before pulling in tight against the sides of his mouth. "Shepard." He took a step toward her. "You look wonderful."
A soft smile met his discomfort as her thoughts remained in her quarters, playing that split second of Garrus's regret over and over, worrying it like mala beads. How could he expect her to treat the night like a date? She understood the whole "set them free and if they come back" concept, but . . . did she want to date Nihlus?
Starting, she realized that the decon cycle had ended, and Nihlus stood in the open hatch, waiting for her.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"Fine, sorry, just worrying over everything." She smiled and slipped her hand through his elbow. "So, where are we off to?"
A half hour cab ride later, they arrived at a restaurant built at the end of a pier that stretched more than two hundred metres out over the water. The staff appeared to know Nihlus well, leading him straight out onto an outside deck. Even though most of the patrons gave them no more than a curious glance, a couple called out to greet him. Shepard almost made a joke about him bringing all his dates there until she saw the waiter scrambling to add another place setting.
That's just unbelievably sad.
The Spectre held her chair out for her, surprising her for the third time in five minutes, although she supposed that none of it should have. "Thank you," she said. Looking out over the remarkable sunset-painted waves, she drew in a long breath and shook her head. "Just look at that. Amazing."
Nihlus sat ninety degrees around the table from her and nodded, his gaze travelling out over the water. "I love it here." He chuckled. "Where I grew up could barely be called a colony. More of an outpost—mercs clinging to the edge of nothing." His brow plates rose. "Palaven has seas, of course, but turians don't tend to be water people—all the flotation capacity of a rock. It took me by surprise, but as soon as I saw this place, something about it pulled me in."
Shepard nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. "I loved the water as a kid. I spent most of the summer in the lake or the local pool. Trying to get me out always resulted in a battle. I had to push until Mom was ready to string me up." She chuckled as she pictured her mother's face, beautiful blue eyes flashing with classic Irish ire, brow furrowed, lips pressed thin. "I guess some things never change."
She watched him as he distracted himself with the menus, deciding to leave it to him to choose when to talk and what about. Impatience pricked her with its thorns, but she calmed it with a quick glance at the time. The Normandy couldn't leave for three hours anyway.
Nihlus set down the menu datapad. "Would you like more of the juice you tried earlier?"
"Mm, yes please. That was very nice." She browsed down a list of human favourites, deciding on a ravioli covered in a white wine blush sauce and filled with goat cheese, mushrooms, and sundried tomatoes. She had no idea what Nihlus ordered, but if Garrus's food choices provided a valid gauge, the order involved meat and meat with a side order of more meat.
Once they'd ordered, Nihlus leaned back in his chair, his entire posture settling. "I spent most of my free time in the mines when I was young. My father worked a platinum mine on the beta shift." His expression opened up, his eyes staring out to sea, relaxing in a way she'd never seen from him. "If I ran after classes, I could meet him at the front gates on his way to work. He'd boost me up onto his cowl and carry me." He chuckled. "His shift gave me my own safety helmet and breather apparatus for the anniversary of my sixth cycle."
A nostalgic smile teased Shepard's lips as she pictured a young Nihlus riding down into the dark on his father's shoulders, happy as one of the guys. The image morphed, shifting into one of looking up at her father through a space in a car's engine, her small hand reaching up for a wrench. So many happy hours spent covered in grease and talking about everything under the sun.
"I sat on the back of the digger and did my homework," Nihlus continued. "Ate in the mess hall and fell asleep leaning against him on the seat." He reached up and ran his hand over his fringe. "I adored my pari."
Shepard smiled, her eyebrows lifting at the unfamiliar word, rich with rumbled subvocals through the middle and ending with a sort of click. "Pari?" she asked, blushing as she butchered the pronunciation.
"The human equivalent is dad." He reached out and brushed her cheek with the back of his first talon. "The closed dialect isn't easy without a second larynx."
Their food arrived, and he shook himself, sucking in a long breath that carried enough of an edge to let Shepard know he was shutting down that topic, at least during the meal.
They discussed small matters while they ate. She filled him in on her full plan to get Tali and Legion on Rannoch in the wake of a successful mission on Virmire. He made a few suggestions, laughing when she asked him if their Spectre/candidate relationship was everything he'd imagined. The deftness with which he skirted the question was awe inspiring.
She swallowed her disappointment, wanting to hear his answer. Despite her earlier misgivings, she found herself having a good time, Nihlus proving to be a charming date. Could Garrus actually have a point about giving both relationships a shot? No . . . that just felt, well . . . sorta slimey. People did it though, didn't they? Dating? Exploring their options? For a moment, it took all her self control not to smack her forehead into the table. Why couldn't life just be simple?
"Would you like to go for a walk?" Nihlus asked, interrupting her new batch of crazy. He gestured toward a staircase that descended the pier, the slope leading back toward shore.
She stared at him for a moment, worrying those mala beads to death before letting out a strong sigh.
Okay, Garrus, a date it is. Damn you.
Shepard nodded, already savouring the sensation of what looked like buttery-soft sand between her toes. "Sure, I'd love that. It's been a very long time since I last felt ocean waves around my ankles." Garrus' admonishment echoed through the back of her mind yet again.
Fine, already. I'm exploring.
She held out her hand. "Come on, Spectre. Let's go for a stroll."