Chap 1
They have always lived a hard life.
Life is surrounded by the blood and tears of their enemies, their friends, their teammates, their families, and of course their own. They're living in a dark gray life, the one which is dark like their damn own future and everything else. Where there is no black or white, no right or wrong, only dead or alive. Either they die, or live, and fight frantically to keep everything they love alive, no need to be perfect or still full of limbs, or still able to talk. Just need to be alive.
And, as a shinobi, or an anbu, or whatever they call them, they fully aware of that. Especially Kakashi.
The cost of being strong is almost always very expensive.
Kakashi is strong, he knows that, everyone knows it, his enemies know it too. And he was strong, because he had no burden, something that only Kakashi knows.
He has no comrades, no family, all he has to do is protect the place where he was born and grew up, no one will wait for him at home, no one will cry when he's gone. So if he dies, he sacrifices one day, for protecting this village, for those who were born and raised with him, for his students, his friends, and all.
It's fine.
And he knows everyone would have to be fine with that, including Iruka.
He knew Iruka understood that well. And there is always a part of him that thinks, it's truly lucky that Iruka is just a Chuunin, lucky, because that person always just needs to stay here safely, and he will always be outside, stopping any threats could have crept through the village's siege. Mainly to protect a single person.
What he is most sure about right now, is that no one will be able to touch that person, except him.
...
It was one afternoon, when it all happened, this one time that Kakashi could trade his whole life for just not to miss it, as he sprawled on the comfortable chair in the lovely little log cabin and waited. While that person, the person he loves best brews a pot of hot tea for both of them. And they will lean on each other, enjoying the wonderful tea that only that hand can make, while immersed in the sunset light shining through the large windows.
And it should just stop there, or should just go on in the way it should have been.
But Kakashi knew, Kakashi saw clearly, not everything in this world would go his way when all of a sudden, those bastards burst into the house. And everything happened so quickly, all he could do before he collapsed in a pool of his own blood was seeing Iruka, bloody, half-unconscious while being grabbed and pulled by his hair, out of Kakashi's sight.