Note: For melody, imagine the chorus from 'The internet is for pom' ( watch?v=6kXA7-XoQTA). The Dragonborn might just be re-discovering her innate trollish tendencies...
"~The trees are covered with hair,
the bear, he don't seem to care!
Do you think that he'll fight fair?
Bear, bear, bear!"
"Would you stop singing?!"
"No!" The Dragonborn laughed and slashed at the bear with her conjured blade. "It's tradition!"
Bishop stepped further to the side and loosed another arrow. He was pleased to note it hit the bear right in the neck while avoiding both Karnwyr and the infuriating woman he travelled with.
"Please try not to attract any more of them, will you?" He mocked as he scanned their surroundings for any further threats.
"Oooh, but I don't need to worry, do I?" She asked mock innocently as she expertly drew a knife and started cutting the bear's claws. "After all, I have my gallant hero to save me from mortal danger, such as bears, bandits, or getting a little bit cold at night..."
Bishop palmed his face and groaned. "Seriously, Ladyship, I don't know what got into me yesterday. It was nothing more than a brief spark of insanity. Not to be repeated, I assure you."
She was referring to yesterday and the damned bath they took, half-drunk, in the river under Valtheim Towers. As soon as they were done, Bishop bravely led the almost naked heroine up to the bridge where they left their armour and robes. But for some mysterious reason, his drunken self decided to dress his companion in his own armour. While her robes lay pretty much next to them. Purely to warm her up, of course. In no way did he try to get her to wear his stuff so she'd smell like him, definitely not. He might have been spending way too much time with only Karnwyr for company, now that he thought about it.
He had buckled the armour almost completely before she realized what he'd been doing. But instead of dropping it back down, she had laughed and run away with it to the second tower, where she threw herself onto the bed in it. And he had followed her like a fool, both falling into the same bed. Where they had promptly fallen asleep, half-naked with her still in his armour stretching almost obscenely over her chest.
It had been an awkward morning, once they woke up, that was for sure.
But it seemed that the time for embarrassment was over, now that the wench decided to tease him for his drunken blunder instead.
"Aww, but here I was looking so much to changing my robes for your very dashing armour. Don't you think I looked good in it, Bishop?"
He coughed and felt his face flame up. But he wouldn't let himself be outdone by a wench. Oh no. Better to go for the offensive. "I bet you'd look good in anything, Ladyship. But you'd look your best naked, spread on the furs of my bed," he leered.
She spluttered, he was gratified to notice.
"But I do wonder if I'll ever see you in, you know, traditional clothes."
"What do you mean?" She asked mischievously.
"You know, a dress, for instance. Or at least female robes." He shrugged. "I admit, I'm curious. Why do you even wear male robes?"
She stood up, packing the bear claws in her apothecary satchel. "Practicality, mostly. When I received them, I already got used to wearing Hevnoraak's mask and didn't want to give it up. The robes didn't allow any head-coverings other than the original hood they came with." She started walking in the direction of Windhelm and Bishop followed. "So I modified the robes, removed the hood without damaging the enchantment. But that is as far as the magic could be pushed. If I did any further modifications, like, changing the fit to suit a female body, the enchantment would fall apart, and I'd be left with an armful of pretty clothes. Which would defeat the original purpose of the modification I spent so much time and effort on. And I really, really like the enchantment, which I, unfortunately, can't seem to reproduce."
Bishop just shook his head, amused. "Good to know you didn't always dress like a man, Princess. You only dress like it to confuse a poor, unsuspecting ranger..." he gave her a raised eyebrow.
He could practically feel her eye-roll.
"But I do wonder. What did you wear before you received your robes?"
"Dragonscale armour, my poor confused ranger, I wore Dragonscale armour," she said with laughter in her voice. "Enormous dragon scales and teeth in an iron setting, as heavy as steel but still fashioned to be worn as light armour, arranged to be the most terrifying thing you've ever seen."
He stopped in the middle of the road to stare at her incredulously.
"So, you really didn't miss much, if it's any comfort," she continued teasingly, "In fact, I do believe I still have the set... somewhere. You know, if you wanted to borrow it? It might fit your trim, girly figure."
"Oh, I'll give you a 'girly' figure, wench," he growled, then continued with a smirk. "I know you took a very good look at my 'figure' yesterday. Couldn't get enough as you splashed and swam next to me."
Bishop stalked close to her until he was almost touching the iron mask with his own face. This close, he could see a pair of beautiful pale-blue eyes through the slits. "And then you woke up in my arms. Don't tell me you didn't take a close look."
Her eyes widened, then went half-lidded before she abruptly turned away and cleared her throat. "You wish," she muttered.
Bishop counted it as a point in his favour.
He smirked, hooked his thumbs in one of the belts of his armour and continued walking down the road to Windhelm, whistling the Dragonborn's bear fighting theme.
"...And you brought so much! Thank you for this, Dragonborn, truly," Quintus gushed over the Jazbay grapes Hildur placed at the table. "I've not seen a batch this large in months! This must have taken great effort, not to mention coin, to collect."
The Dragonborn fidgeted a bit but didn't say a word. Bishop smirked with his arms crossed, for he knew that fully half of the Jazbay grapes were collected along the road. Today. After all, he watched and even helped her collect them.
The old ones she had collected had indeed 'fermented' in her robes, as she'd been afraid. Despite that, the owner of the White Phial still considered them valuable as ingredients fo their experimental wine and took both them and the fresher ones that were gathered just this morning.
"So, when do you expect to have the first batch ready, Quintus?" she asked politely.
"Ah. Yes, of course. The wine should be ready in, hmmm, about a week's time, I think."
"That soon? I thought wine took longer to make."
Quintus smiled at her, "True, but please remember that I am a talented alchemist. A week will do."
"If you're sure," she shrugged her shoulders. "What will be the next step, then?"
"Delivering it to the most influential people and wine connoisseurs, of course!" The imperial man exclaimed, excited. "Just think! If we manage to get several Jarls to drink and enjoy it, we might even become more popular than the famous Spiced Wine of Solitude."
"Hmm," Dragonborn hummed and Bishop could tell she frowned under the mask. "Do you think we could instead involve Evette in this? She is an experienced winemaker and seller. If we involved her, she could... I don't know, offer the Jazbay Wine alongside her spiced wine in Solitude?"
Quintus didn't seem convinced but shrugged his shoulders, "If you think that's wise."
"I do," she asserted more strongly. "I can get the Jarls to try the wine, I can reach an agreement with the trading caravans and travelling merchants to sell it for us, and if it truly does fortify and regenerate Magicka, I can make a deal for a steady supply with the Mage's College in Winterhold. Having Evette sell it would only strengthen our network."
"It is settled, then," Quintus nodded agreeably. "Give me a week or so, and the first batch shall be ready for tasting."
As soon as they stepped outside the doors, Bishop couldn't stop himself and asked, "So. What's the deal with my brave enterprising dragoness? Getting cold feet before you even started the business?"
"No, no, of course not!" She denied immediately. "It's just... I like Evette and her Spiced Wine. I know she has some trouble with sales in the lean months but she still tries very hard. And... well, consider me stupid, but until now, the wine was, I don't know, and interesting experiment. An amusing thought exercise." Her head fell lower. "I never considered the fact that it could threaten someone's livelihood."
"You seem very confident in your chances there, Ladyship. What if it all flops? You don't even have the Wine yet."
"It's going to work, trust me. Quintus is too good an alchemist with a great passion for wine, and I'm too damn popular with the Jarls and the mages for it to fail. If I truly spread the word myself, as I promised Quintus, it will soon become very popular. But that also means that smaller businesses like Evette's... will have problems."
Bishop shook his head fondly. "You're too damn soft-hearted, Ladyship. If you are better, stronger than others, I say go for it. Become the best, and screw what others think. If you consider everyone's feelings on the matter, you'll never get anywhere."
But despite his words, he couldn't help but be charmed and warm up to her even more. Soft-hearted she might be, but in a person with her power and influence, he admitted that a soft heart might not be such a bad thing.
"Anyway, we still have a week before it's ready. What are we doing now, Ladyship? Going to rest somewhere warmer, preferably." The late afternoon was already cold enough, he would prefer to spend the night somewhere where his bloody testicles wouldn't freeze off, thank you very much.
"Yeah, sure. Let's go to Candleheart Hall." They slowly made their way through the streets. "It's a shame that the Cornerclub doesn't offer any beds. I'd much rather spend the night there than with Ulfric's fanboys drunkenly leering at me. But hey, at least I can beat up Rolff again, so that's a bonus. The prick doesn't know when to quit."
Bishop just snorted.