Author's note:
I find it interesting that a lot of people imagine Susie as coming from a broken or abusive family. While I do agree she expresses signs of living in a disadvantaged home in Deltarune, I decided that I was going to show Susie's parents as being loving people who just have some rotten luck in life.
Chapter 10: Envy
The glass doors of the hospital slid open. Susie walked to the front desk. The receptionist looked up at her with a smile that stretched across their entire face. Fangs the length of a person's arms gleamed in the bright strobe lights.
"Ah, Susie! Hello, darling."
"Hey," she replied simply. "Here for the usual."
"Of course." The receptionist began typing on their computer.
"Is it cool to take these in?" Susie lifted the plastic bag in her hand. The receptionist examined it and gave a nod.
"That should be fine, darling."
"Thanks." With that, Susie headed for the wards.
"You're such a sweet girl, Susie," the receptionist remarked. "I'm sure that your mother is proud of you."
Susie gave a small smile before leaving the room. From then on, she navigated the short series of white corridors. She didn't need to read the room numbers to know which door to knock on. "Come in," called its resident.
"Hey, Mom," Susie greeted as she entered. A dragon much alike to her with shoulder-length hair sat in the bed.
"Hello, Susie." Her mother, Alison, hugged her tenderly. "How are you today?"
"Fine. Just got off work. Sans let me take these for you." Susie handed the bag over.
Alison dug inside. A smile shone as she extracted a jumbo pack of corn chips. "Triple-X Ghost Peppers! Oh, my favourite!" Alison hugged Susie. "Thank you so much, sweetheart."
"No problem, Mom." Susie stared at her mother's scales, paled to a dull indigo from prolonged sickness. "So, how are you doing? You feel okay today?"
"Same old, same old. You don't need to worry about me," Alison answered with a warm smile. "Are you and your father doing alright at home, still?"
It became Susie's turn to wear the reassuring smile. "Yeah, Mom. We're fine. We're catching up on the bills and have enough food to get by." Her new job at the general store certainly helped with that.
"I'm glad to hear that, Susie. I hope you're both not working too hard. Are you at least getting time to spend with your friends? The weather has been lovely outside."
"Yeah, Mom. A few others and I challenged Kris's family to a game of handball yesterday. Would have thrashed them if some dog hadn't stolen the ball midway through." Alison laughed. "Speaking of, there's a little something else for you in the bag."
Alison then discovered a Tupperware box and opened it. The smell of butterscotch filled the room. "Oh? What is this?"
"Kris's sister had her birthday the other day. We made a cake, and he conned me into baking extra to take home. Thought I'd bring you some."
"Aww, that is so sweet of him. And thank you, Susie." The third of a cake came with a paper plate and disposable knife and fork. Alison took one bite and melted. "Delicious."
Susie chatted with her mother for the next hour. Then the nurse arrived to check in on Alison. Susie chose that moment to get out of the way and kissed her mother goodbye. She left the food and promised to visit again soon.
The second her foot hit the pavement, Susie looked to the sky and let out a sullen breath. It reeked having her mother in hospital for so long. How many years has it been now? Long enough for Susie to know the place like a second home. She wished someone would hurry up and find a cure for that stupid Gerson's Syndrome.
Susie hung her head as she walked, kicking an empty soda can without a thought. At the intersection, she spotted some older teens. Among them, she recognised Catti's sister, Catty, along with Asriel and Frisk. When they first met, Susie remembered hearing that cat screech from Kris's back yard. Catty later proved herself as upbeat as she was airheaded. Barely five seconds after calling Frisk a villainous man-stealer, she laughed hysterically and chatted her up like they were lifelong friends. Now they hung out together on the regular. Susie didn't understand how some people could become buddies on a dime like that.
The gang parted ways with Frisk and Asriel venturing north. Susie followed them to the park. There, she crept off the beaten track. At the river, Frisk and Asriel sat on the grass. He draped his arm behind her, pulling Frisk close. She leaned her head against the crook of his neck.
Susie watched from behind a tree. She stood completely still, hoping that no one would notice her lurking in the shadows. Time passed without the couple moving from their spot. Neither did Susie. She hugged the tree close.
Why couldn't that be her? How could those two just sit together like that and everything just be fine that way? Frisk looked to Asriel and kissed him on the lips. Their contact lingered for several seconds. A short break came before they were at it again. Susie's stomach wriggled inside her. In her mind's eye, she saw herself where Frisk was. Her hands felt warmth while gangly arms held her waist. And in Asriel's place, there was…
Susie's claws raked into bark. She lowered her gaze. Roots twisted through the dark soil, partially buried in fallen leaves. She had tried with Noelle. Susie had really tried to make it work. They dated for a little over a month, and it was among the happiest times in her life. But then Susie found out about Noelle's dad. Everything fell apart from there.
Her father and Susie's mother had the same illness. That should have been common ground, but all that Susie could see was life mocking her in the face. Noelle's family paid the same as hers in medical fees. Though, where the Holidays still lived comfortably in a big house, Susie's family spent much of her childhood struggling just to make ends meet. A single missed bill could determine whether Alison survived to see the next year or not. Meanwhile, Noelle's dad was guaranteed his stay at the hospital. It was all thanks to his rich, big-shot wife, Hometown's mayor.
In the end, Susie had to break it off with Noelle. It shattered her heart to do that to one of the few people she had grown close to. She promised Noelle that she didn't hate her. Unfortunately, Susie could not love her like that anymore, either. Not with that kind of divide between their circumstances. It was a pain too raw for Susie to want touched. Not even the agony of watching Noelle weep was enough to change Susie's mind.
Kris was the only one aside from Susie's father to ever see her cry. That time, he said little and didn't ask if she wanted to talk about it. Instead, Kris sat down and hugged Susie until her horrid spells passed. Once, it was a trait of his that led her to think the worst in Kris. However, his silent presence became what helped Susie through the following weeks more than anything else.
A snapping twig broke Susie from her reminiscence. Asriel and Frisk rose to their feet. Susie overheard them say goodbye to each other. She retreated completely into her hiding place, watching the pair walk back down the path. When the coast was clear, Susie stepped into the open. Hands in her pockets, she commenced her journey home. Halfway out from the park, though, someone stepped out in front of her from behind another tree.
"Hi, Susie," Frisk beamed. "How are you today?"
Susie leaped out of her hide. "What?! Frisk?! Wha-what are you… doing… here…?"
Frisk's smile took on a wicked edge. "The better question is: what were you doing spying on us just now?"
"There you go, girls! One almond cappuccino and a super-sized latte."
Frisk thanked the waitress as she set their drinks upon the table. Susie squirmed in her seat. QC's stereo tracks from the 80's played overhead. The music did little to ease the tension. Frisk took a tentative sip of her coffee before she spoke.
"So, got something on your mind?"
Susie played dumb. "What? No! No. Why would something be on my mind? Just chilling over here with a friend. With coffee." Her latte was absolutely delectable. The way in which it scolded Susie's tongue and mouth as she chugged it down was positively refreshing.
"So, you weren't hiding out in the park because you wanted something? Maybe something to do with Asriel and me? I've picked up that he's quite the heartthrob around town."
Thankfully, Susie had swallowed her drink before Frisk's insinuation could choke her. "What, you think I'm jealous of you guys or something?" She scoffed. "Please! All the girls in his class might fawn over him, but he's not my type. Straight A's. Choir boy. Mr Popular. He and I got nothing in common. Nuh-uh. Never gonna happen."
Frisk smirked. "That's comforting. So then, why were you peeping on us? I definitely saw you doing it."
"I don't know! Why do I do anything? 'Oh, hey! There's Susie, doing her own thing without a care. What's she thinking about? Who knows? She's weird.'"
"Susie, you're not weird. But the way you're acting right now is." Frisk studied her for a moment. "Have you ever dated someone before?"
Susie looked away. Her face fell. "One time, I did. Didn't work out, though. There were things going on that I couldn't deal with. It's got nothing to do with you guys."
"That must have been hard," Frisk sympathised.
"It was my choice. It was better this way."
They sat without another word for a time, simply enjoying their drinks. "Can I ask you something?" Susie eventually said.
"Sure."
"You and Asriel… How do you guys… do it?"
Frisk looked confused. "Do it, as in…?
"You know…" Susie fidgeted. "You're a human and he's a monster. Aren't you bothered by what people might think of that?"
"Does it bother you?"
"What?! No!" Susie yelped. "It's fine! Really! It's just… I dunno…" She floundered inside her own head for a while. "So, what's it like? Dating Asriel?"
Frisk smiled. "I don't think it's anything that special. I mean, it is to me; but it's nothing different to what I think other relationships should be like. Asriel is a smart, sweet, wonderful guy, and being with him makes me happy."
"It doesn't bother you that you're different?" Susie asked.
She worried that she had said the wrong thing again. Frisk stared sadly into her mug. "Sometimes there have been people who… don't really understand well. They don't think that Asriel and I should work out. But I don't agree with them. I don't believe that there's anything wrong with us being together. Sure, I might not be able to do all the things I might want to with a human boyfriend; but I love Asriel. And really that's all that matters in the end."
Susie hung on to her every word. "So, those people who give you grief... Do you just tell them to shove it?"
"Well… Not always," Frisk grimaced. "See… My parents aren't a hundred percent comfortable with Azzy and me. We're… not exactly on speaking terms at the moment."
"Shit. Sorry about that."
"It's fine. They can either change their minds or don't. I'm still going to be happy right where I am."
Susie nodded, approving. "Nice."
Frisk then rested her chin atop her hands. "So… Do you like Kris?"
That time, Susie wasn't so lucky. She coughed up her latte, nearly spraying it all over Frisk. "What?" she spluttered. "Kris?! Sure, I like him! He's my best friend!"
"Yeah, but I mean like-like."
The heat rose across Susie's snout. "What the hell gave you that idea?"
Three fingers extended from Frisk's hand. "Well, you were spying on Azzy and me today, and asked me what it was like being in an interspecies relationship. That leads me to think you've got someone specific on your mind. Someone… human."
Susie couldn't speak. Frisk took that as further invitation. "So, I'm left with three suspects. I don't think I'm the one you're interested in, so it's either Chara or Kris. Obviously, one of them is more likely than the other." That evil glint shone in Frisk's eye again. "So…? Is it Kris?"
It was as if the walls and ceiling came crashing down on top of Susie. She stared down at her lap. Her face burned. "Is it really that easy to tell?"
"Probably not. My parents tell me that I'm simply good at reading people, is all."
Moaning, Susie buried her face in her hands. When exactly did Kris start plaguing her thoughts like this? Sure, there were times down in the Dark World where he had impressed her, but those moments hadn't meant as much back then. Now her heart stirred every time she remembered Kris standing between her and the Spade King.
Susie knew she hadn't thought of Kris any differently while she was with Noelle. Why was it that after flicking through one cooking magazine during a boring shift, Susie started hoarding them under her bed? She'd hold the pages open for ages, ogling middle-aged human men in sweaters, who smiled at her as they leaned over freshly made casseroles and crumbles. Her fangs would prick her lip as her stomach yearned alongside her soul. Kris's face danced across the magazines. His cheeky smile and soft, red eyes were directed only at her.
"Have you thought about asking him out?" Frisk then cut off Susie's response. "On a date?"
"I don't know… I don't want to ruin what we've got going on now."
"You could always take the chance. I dated friends in high school, and I'm still on good terms with most of them." Really? 'Most' was supposed to make her feel confident?
"I doubt our friendship is that strong," Susie mumbled. "Did you know I used to bully Kris?"
Frisk's eyes revealed that she didn't. Susie picked up a sachet of sugar and rolled it between her fingers. "I did some mean shit to him for years. Not always, and not just to him, but enough for him to hate my guts. I threatened to bite his face off one time. Then he saved my life later that same day. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I deserved to be friends with him after that."
For a while, Frisk said nothing. She probably realised that this 'like-liking' talk was all for nothing. Susie finished her coffee. It tasted like cold dirt.
"To me, it's always looked like Kris trusts you," Frisk said, surprising Susie. "I mean, he did ask if you could come along when we all met at the college. Reuniting with his sisters was a big deal for him. He must have felt it was important to have you there with him. Kris also spends a lot of time with you most days I've been here. He even made an extra cake just for you on my birthday."
Frisk rested her chin on her palm and smiled. "I find it hard to believe that he holds any of the bad things you've done against you. Kris cares about you now. I really think it might be worth your while taking a chance with him. So, ask Kris and find out what he wants."
Susie wrestled with the idea. "So, how would I do that?"
"With Azzy, all I did was ask him out to lunch and we had a great time. It's different for some people, I think. Just do what comes naturally to you and make your feelings heard."
Frisk's phone buzzed. She looked at it and rose from her seat. "I need to get going, Susie. It was nice talking with you."
"Yeah. Thanks, Frisk."
"I really hope things work out for you. The two of you would make a cute couple."
She winked and left Susie blushing madly in her lonesome. Susie then pulled out her own phone and opened the photo gallery. There weren't many pictures in her albums. She quickly pulled up one Noelle had taken of Susie and Kris during their last field trip. They stood along the cliff with a hydroelectric dam in the background. In the next picture, she and Kris held bunny-fingers behind an unsuspecting Catti and Birdley.
Susie smiled as she flicked through the memories. She never had more fun than she did with Kris. His quiet disposition masked a devilish prankster, who scored a laugh out of Susie more times than not. He probably could have gotten back at Susie at any time and she'd never have seen it coming. He truly was better than her in every way.
She let out a sullen sigh. What would Kris say if she ever confessed that she had a crush on him?
End note:
I believe that this is the first time I've ever included an explicitly LGBT+ character in one of my fan fictions. Yay for personal milestones.