Chapter 11: Brother Talk

Perched atop his bed with his back against the headboard, Kris scrolled through his phone. He trawled through site links, reading each new page for several minutes, then returned to the homepage to open the next. Nothing he read gave him confidence.

'Should I study politics?' Kris wondered. That was what Asriel and Frisk were both doing. However, the idea didn't appeal to him for any reason beyond that.

'Maybe become a teacher like Mom?' No. He barely got higher than C+ in his half of his classes. What could Kris hope to teach anyone with the way he performed in school?

'Dad's been teaching me about plants. Maybe botany?' Kris sighed. As much as he enjoyed sharing in his father's hobby, he wasn't that interested.

'What about something else? Accounting?' He was good at math but wanted something more exciting as a career choice.

'Medicine?' His school taught monster biology. Alphys barely covered anything about the human anatomy. It seemed silly for him to try becoming a monster doctor.

'Business?' Was that much different from accounting? Park that idea in the 'maybe' pile, Kris decided.

'Law?' Didn't appeal to him in the slightest.

'Engineering? Chemistry? Psychology?' Wasn't very skilled with tools. Too hard. Looked too complicated.

Kris pressed his head back against the wall. Nothing on this darned college website was sticking out to him. Either he wasn't interested, or he doubted he'd be any good at it. If he didn't know what he wanted to do after finishing high school, then what chance to Kris have in making something of himself?

A knock came at the door before it opened. Asriel stepped inside. Kris didn't think that he needed to knock to enter his own bedroom, yet his brother still did so. "Howdy, Kris. Whatcha up to?"

"Oh… nothing." Kris stared at his phone as Asriel laid atop his bed. "Just looking at college degrees."

Asriel smiled. "Find anything you like?"

"Not really," Kris mumbled. "It doesn't look like I'd fit with most of these. Maybe I'm just not cut out to go to college."

"Hey, come on. That's not true. There's lots of different things you could study. There's bound to be something you'd be great at."

Kris sighed. "Thanks, Azzy. But I'm not smart like you are. I'd probably just crash and burn if I tried."

Asriel sat up. "Don't think like that, Kris. There's plenty of things you're better at than me."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, you're really good at playing the piano. Plus, your writing and artwork are amazing."

"Thanks. I'm sure those will get me great jobs to pay the bills with," Kris said sardonically.

"They might. Seriously, Kris! You've got incredible talents and you should try exploring them. Check it out online. There are plenty of art degrees you could try out. You should, like, become a composer or something. Or an artist. Or maybe do something in theatre. Your fake blood pranks are pretty realistic these days."

Kris scrolled his phone to the link for the college's art studies. Up until now, he thought that was nothing more than a joke course; something that wouldn't take him anywhere. "You really think so?"

"Sure, I do! I mean, how do you think movies and video games get made? It wouldn't be as much fun if they didn't have people who knew a lot about music and script-writing."

The web page listed several career paths that would be available through the course. The options Asriel had given were on it. "Huh…"

"I'll tell you what," Asriel said. "ECC usually holds an open day before the end of summer. You and I could go down and check out some of the courses together. You can then see for yourself if there's anything you'd be interested in."

An entire day hanging out with Asriel at his college… "That sounds… great," Kris answered. "Thanks."

"Anytime. It'll be cool if you got into ECC, too. That way we could always see each other on campus, and you'd be closer to Frisk and Chara."

A smile warmed Kris's face. "That'd be nice." Then he thought of their mother and father… and Susie… "I'd have to say goodbye to everyone here for a long while, though, won't I?"

"Yeah," Asriel sighed, crossing his arms underneath his head. "That's been the worst part about being in Ebott City. It's so far from home. I've really missed seeing my friends and family all the time. You, especially."

Kris became lost for words. Asriel had plenty more as he smiled to the ceiling. "I'm pretty sure that Frisk missed you even more than I did. She kept asking about you. What were you like as a kid? What were your hobbies? What was your favourite food?" He laughed. "I honestly felt kind of jealous."

"I'm sure there wasn't that much to talk about," Kris said.

"That's the thing. There was loads to talk about. Chara and I didn't talk all that much, but she used to ask about you, too. She wanted to know if you ever told me about them."

Sorrow and shame filled Kris's chest. "What did you tell her?"

"That you didn't talk much about your first family, but I knew you missed them dearly. I think Chara's been much the same."

Kris rolled to stare at the wall. "Does that make me a bad brother? Should I have talked about them more while I was a kid? All that I tried to do was forget about everything that happened before Mom took me in."

"Hey, Kris. Come on… It's okay. You went through some awful stuff when you were little. Nobody blames you for wanting to keep those memories buried. In fact, Frisk said I was the first person she ever told about you, aside from her parents. Losing both you and Chara hurt her more than I think I'll ever understand."

"I still can't believe you didn't figure out we were related," Kris said, leering over his shoulder.

"I will admit, I should have realised that Frisk's legal name was the same as your sister's. Really should have picked up on that. I'm sorry."

Kris smirked. "And I thought Dad was clueless. Maybe it's a Dreemurr thing." A pillow crashed into the wall past him.

"Hey!" Asriel complained. They both laughed. Then Asriel became serious. "So… Are you okay with me dating Frisk? I know we haven't really talked about it… And, technically, it's not breaking any rules… But it's still confusing and weird… I just wanted to check…?"

Long after Asriel stopped fumbling over his words, Kris was still thinking. His feelings on the matter were a tangled web he'd been unravelling for months. Now he suddenly had to verbalise his answer to someone.

"At first, it was a shock," Kris admitted. "I honestly didn't expect to see you and Frisk like that. I kind of imagined her boyfriend would be some buff human guy in a tank top."

"Aww, come on! Not you, too!" Asriel moaned. Kris had absolutely no idea who else had made such assumptions, but it was enough to make his brother bury his face into his mattress. "I've tried bulking up at the gym! But it's sooooo haaaaarrrrrd!"

Kris lifted one brow. That was one way he could try to outdo Asriel. He wondered what Susie would say if he toned out his abs…

"Anyway," he continued. "I guess I don't have any problems with you and Frisk going out. If anything, it actually helps."

"How do you mean?"

"I don't know how best to say it." Kris sighed. "To be honest, I haven't really felt like a part of the family here for a while. The first few years were nice. I felt safe and happy with you, Mom, and Dad. But I wanted to be more like you guys. I wanted to be a monster. When I finally realised that just wasn't possible, I felt like an outsider; like I'd never properly fit in."

"But… you know that we love you, right?" Asriel worried. "You know that we've always wanted you around?"

"I know that. But it still doesn't change the fact that I wasn't like any of you. It felt like there was a glass wall put between everyone else and me." Kris paused to gather his thoughts. "I guess now that you and Frisk are in a relationship, that's a way I could properly feel like a part of this family again."

There was quiet, leading Kris to worry he had said the wrong thing. Asriel soon smiled and chuckled. "Golly… Now I know I won't have to seek your blessing if I want to propose. Not that I'm planning to!" he added quickly.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to put you on the spot."

"Don't worry about it. At least you approve of us. That's all I was worried about. I just wish Frisk's parents felt the same."

"They don't like you?" Kris asked.

"Haven't met them before. I'd like to if that'd help them change their minds about me. Unfortunately, I don't think Frisk has spoken to them since study week. I'm worried about her. I don't want to be the reason she loses her parents again."

"There are some parents you can afford to lose." The bitter words flew out from Kris's mouth. He regretted them. Frisk's parents probably weren't anything like the ones he had suffered with. So, Kris sought to atone. "Would you like me to talk with her?"

Asriel considered the offer. "Thanks, Kris," he sighed, "but I think Frisk and I need to deal with this ourselves. Thanks for listening, though."

"No problem." Kris laid on his back. Neither he nor Asriel uttered another word until their mother called them for dinner. Kris wished that he could do something for his family.

Maybe he should call Susie later. She most likely would not have the answer, but she usually helped Kris set his head on straight.