Shepard awoke so stiff that, for a moment, her eyeballs were the only body part she could convince to move. Lifting her head from her pillow, she let out a groan that earned her a chuckle from the table.

"Feeling tough?" Garrus asked.

She closed her eyes, hearing him stand and walk over. The mattress lowered under his weight. "I feel like the presidium fell on me." Grinning, she opened her eyes as his hand slipped over her hip to wrap around her uninjured side. Meeting his ice-blue gaze, the smile softened. "Help me up?"

Sliding both hands under her shoulders, he eased her up into a gentle hug, nuzzling her jaw and ear. "Definitely."

"Oh I see." She laughed but wrapped her arm around him and kissed his mandible. "Taking advantage of the poor, wounded girlfriend." Closing her eyes again, she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Definitely." One hand slid up her back, slowly as if he was savouring the feel of her skin, which immediately lifted into gooseflesh. He chuckled. "Why does it do that?"

She leaned into him, her hand stroking his neck along the line of plates. "Lots of reasons. Cold, being tickled … but with you, it's because my body likes your touch."

His talons brushed down her spine, the sharp points just barely grazing her skin as they caressed the long sweep of vertebrae. "That's a very good thing, because I could do this all day."

She rubbed her cheek against the smooth, flat layers of muscle covering the ball of his shoulder. "What time is it? I could check, but I like it here. I don't want to move."

"0730. I made you some breakfast. It's just peanut butter toast and hot chocolate, but I figured with the service and council meeting looming, you wouldn't want anything more until after." He pulled back and brushed a talon against her cheek. "Do you want to shower?"

After a moment, she shook her head. The troupe of acrobats were back and cracking the whip, insisting that she get moving and keep moving. A shower could wait until after she got back. "I'd better just get up and get dressed then run across and see the doc for a few minutes. You know how she likes to shrink my head when it starts getting too big." She gave him a gentle kick. "Let me out and then you can help me get into my dress uniform."

Forty minutes later, Shepard stepped out of the elevator into the cargo bay. It appeared to be deserted until she caught movement in the far corner and saw Ashley tidying her work bench. Shepard watched the chief work for a few moments. They hadn't spoken since their confrontation after Jenkins's death. As much as she believed every word she'd said, the way she'd said it burned in her chest like scarfing down too many hot wings on 'I Believe I can Fly' all-you-can-eat wing night at the Arcturus Cantina.

Ash had been through a lot, both that day and in her life, and the last thing she'd needed was her CO jumping down her throat. A sad sort of tightening around Shepard's lips accompanied the memory of their first chat when Ashley came aboard the Normandy after Eden Prime. She'd jumped down Ash's throat then too.

"Captain? You okay?"

Shepard focused on the chief. "Hey, Ash. Yeah, sorry, zoned out there for a minute. Was just thinking about your first day aboard. I snapped at you for calling Nihlus a bird." She walked toward the armoury. "And, I was thinking about what I said to you after Jenkins died." Stopping at the last locker, she turned her back to it and leaned. "I—"

"I've been thinking a lot about that too, ma'am, and I wanted to thank you." The hardened angles of Ash's pretty, stern face softened a little into a smile. "Jenkins died for the whole team. Human, turian, krogan, quarian … he didn't care. He was a great kid. He didn't hate Legion because the geth attacked Eden Prime. He didn't hate Nihlus and Garrus because Saren was also a turian. We were his people. All of us." She turned back to her bench, picking up a rag to wipe absently at the gun oil stains..

Shepard nodded, a short, soft sigh whispering from her nose. "He was a remarkable kid."

"You were right both times you barked at me, Skipper. I came aboard with a pile of attitude and prejudice. I always placed the blame for not getting ahead on my grandfather, but I own that." She set down the rag and straightened the rifles, making sure they all sat parallel to one another. "You showed me that. You gave me a chance to prove to myself that the only thing holding me back was me. No one is going to promote or give the best postings to a soldier who walks around lashing out like I was."

Shepard smiled and nodded, just a faint bounce of her head. "We're all our own worst enemies, Ash. I know. I'm the self—and career—destruction poster girl. You don't want to end up where I am."

"I could do a hell of a lot worse," Ash said, her voice snapping like static along a power line. She spun to face Shepard. "What's so wrong with where you are, ma'am?" She threw up her hands, stabbing them out toward the hull. "Captain of the best ship in the fleet, head of the best crew." A scowl drew her face in tight again. "And don't you dare try to tell me it's because of political BS or because Anderson and Hackett are your friends. It's bloody well because they know that if they need the job done, you're the one to call." Ash blushed a light red and looked away, the fire spent. "Sorry, Skipper … you just … you sell yourself short, and we all know better."

Shepard straightened, shifting to lean on one hip, feeling incredibly touched at the chief's outburst. She'd never thought of herself as a role model, certainly not one a career-minded soldier like Williams would want to emulate. Too many mistakes. Too many wrong moves and missed opportunities. Too many dead. But what Ash said was true. She'd been put into a position of remarkable trust. She must have done something right, somewhere along the line. As much as Udina railed against her, the Alliance didn't make a habit out of putting massive screw ups in charge of major missions.

"Anyway, ma'am." Ashley went back to setting her already impeccable work space to order. "I've decided to honour Jenkins and this crew by infiltrating Cerberus. They're a galactic wild card and a dangerous one if that tech is any indication. We need people on the inside."

Admiration and affection swelled inside Shepard's chest until she thought she might explode out of the sling. Sweet baby Jesus, they didn't come braver than her crew. "I think that sounds like a great plan, Ash. We'll take our time and find you a solid way in."

The elevator opened, drawing her attention. Anderson and Admiral Hackett stepped out along with Nihlus and Garrus. She turned back to Ashley, reaching up to lay her hand on the chief's shoulder. "And we'll be there for you, every minute. My standing orders for all of you ruffians are: wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you're still my crew. You call, I'll be there. No matter what. Understood?"

Ash nodded. "You bet, Skipper." She raised a hand, gesturing toward the growing crowd. "But for now, I guess we have other business."

Shepard released a long breath and nodded. "Yeah." She allowed her shoulders to drop for a second and closed her eyes, letting the sorrow wash through her and away. Maybe, while she was on the Citadel—if she didn't end up in stocks having rotten vegetables tossed at her—she'd see about picking up a meditation pond. Being able to literally and metaphorically wash the stresses and emotional turmoils away had saved Tashac in the end. Well … meditation and Merol.

Shepard opened her eyes and squared her shoulders, picking up the burden and settling it as comfortably as possible, then headed over to the others. She grinned at the expression on Anderson's face when Garrus intercepted her, his arm sliding naturally around her waist. There was a chat waiting to happen. Oh well. Dads had to be dads, even self-appointed ones. She gave Garrus a wink and stepped out of his embrace. Official work to be done.

"Good morning, Admiral," she said, greeting Hackett with a wide smile. "Nicely done bringing that thing down, sir." She shook his hand. "Everything came together like a well-oiled machine."

He nodded. "It did, but I can hardly take the credit for that." His expression remained serious. "The base on Ilos is gone." She saw genuine regret as he shook his head. "The things we could have learned from that place."

"Yes, sir, but I'm pretty sure there is more to discover out there. The Protheans were fiercely dedicated to making sure that the younger races were ready and able to take on the Reapers." She glanced over at Nihlus, wondering if he felt the same pull toward Thessia that she did. Something about the way Tashac had looked up at the mountain that last day told her that it would be worth trying to find where she and Merol had lived.

"So, the rachni queen helped you decipher the information from the beacons?" Hackett asked, shooting a dubious glance over at the queen, who'd just emerged from her corner. He shook his head. "This is all insane, you realize that, Shepard? I should be sending you to Arcturus for a mandatory psych eval."

Oddly, for the first time in thirteen years that threat caused no fear whatsoever. A small smile tweaked the corner of her mouth. "If you think it's warranted, sir, absolutely. They'll tell you the same thing they've always told you, however."

"Batnuts," Kaidan said from the elevator.

"Completely mad," Nihlus's rumble overlapped Sparky's voice.

"Should never be allowed to operate large machinery," Garrus added.

"Oh, definitely," Ashley replied, nodding sagely as she tapped a finger against her chin. "That's a good one."

Shepard just waved them away. "Go find somewhere to stand, ungrateful ruffians." When they moved off, she looked back to Hackett. "I wish it was all crazy, sir. I wish I was crazy, but you've seen the evidence. You were right there at the forefront of the battle. You know Sovereign wasn't just some geth dreadnought." She held her hand out to usher the captain and admiral to stand at the head of the growing crowd of crew and team members. "We have a hell of a fight coming yet."

Hackett stared at her, silent and thoughtful, for almost a minute then nodded. Shepard wished she knew what that nod meant, but she trusted the years that she and Hackett had known one another. She trusted his gut and his sense of duty. He'd come through and then help bring the Alliance on board. Eventually.

Five minutes later, the crew stood in neat lines at parade rest, their turn out impeccable. Not that Shepard had expected anything less. She stepped up onto a low crate, meeting each set of eyes that stared back at her. Now, with the lull in the storm, she'd have time to get to know the stories behind each one. That, she very much looked forward to.

She cleared her throat, easing the tightness. "Richard Jenkins was one of the first people I spoke to when I came aboard the Normandy. He tickled me with his eagerness to serve. He worried me with his lust for high adventure. Then he impressed me with his ability and level-headedness under fire. A fine soldier, and a bright kid, he would have no doubt gone on to have an impressive career."

She ran the inside of her top lip through her teeth. "But Richard was more than a good soldier, he was a remarkable young man, brimming with good humour, kindness, loyalty, and courage. No one on this ship went a week without him saying or doing something to brighten their day. Because Richard's courage and dedication to this crew, three friends stand here with us today." She looked past her crew to where the salarian captain, Kirrahe, stood, still bandaged, pain forcing him into an awkward lean. "Thank you for your selfless heroism, you extraordinary young man." She swallowed hard, trying to block out the letter she'd written to his parents earlier. Even though she could feel Garrus's eyes on her, she didn't look over to meet that stare. Instead, she pressed her eyes closed.

I'll miss the hell out of you, kid.

Shepard stretched her shoulders back, her spine making a cricket chirping sound as she steadied the weight balanced there. "Harvey Gladstone prided himself on never being caught without a prank or bad joke ... or two, but under the groans, we always smiled. Well, except for the dish soap in the coffee incident. He should have known better than to mess with the coffee, but it was good to discover that the lower part of the refrigerator unit can be used as a stand-by brig if need be. And that it can take more than twenty minutes for someone to hear you pounding to be let out." Pressing her lips together in a smile that felt more grim than amused, Shepard acknowledged the crew's soft chuckles. "Still, when it came down to a fight, you couldn't ask for a more solid or capable soldier. I sent him with the non-combatants, a trust I knew he would not betray, and he got them through. Every one."

The shades of the dead weighed more heavily every second. If she'd been paying attention, if she hadn't been so intent on— No, she didn't get to beat herself with that flail any longer. Self-pity was a luxury for other people to indulge in, just as she'd told Ashley. She needed to let the dead rest. They didn't want her guilt. Believing that she could have somehow saved them ... it was arrogance. She smiled, a thin expression of understanding. It was arrogance, and it diminished them. Taking a deep breath, she shrugged off the weight.

"Abishek Pakti," she continued, "didn't miss a single ground mission after Eden Prime. There was no such thing in his strict creed as too injured or too tired. He was one of the most dedicated and solemnly vigilant Marines I've ever met." She eased into parade rest, her good hand held loosely behind her. "When I asked the Alliance about his family, wanting to send a letter to his parents or wife, the clerk told me that all of his recent information listed the men and women of the units he served in under family, emergency contacts, next of kin. We were his family, and he demonstrated his devotion to that ideal by fighting for us to his very last breath."

She hadn't known the last Marine very well, a mistake she didn't intend to make with her remaining crew. "When I cleaned out Isabelle Turner's locker, I opened the door and just stared for the longest time. Frankly, what I saw was harder to believe than the Reaper threat." She smiled at the chuckles. "Ah yes, you few have seen what she kept hidden away in there. Tiny, ancient stuffed toys full of beans. As I boxed up over seventy of them, I couldn't understand why one of my Marines had brought so many useless items along on a mission." As she remembered the last thing she'd taken out of the locker, her throat tightened forcing her to clear it.

"Then I found a framed picture of two little girls: twins. One in a hospital bed, surrounded by those same silly stuffed animals. When I did the research to send a letter to her parents, I discovered that Isabelle Turner was an identical twin, but her sister had died when they were ten." She blinked back tears. "Her mother said that Isabelle was never quite the same, as if half of her had died with her sister, but now they would be together and whole again. It seems a fitting and beautiful reward for a young person who dedicated her life to defending and protecting families from a cold and dangerous galaxy."

She stretched her neck a little. "I'm honoured to captain a crew so dedicated to each other and the mission, a crew with such tremendous heart and courage, so willing to sacrifice. We all know what comes along with the life of a soldier: the long stretches away from loved ones, the loneliness, the unforgiving hours, the physical rigours, and the specter that hangs over us all. It's a life that can wear us down, make us thin and easy to tear apart, but the camaraderie of our fellow soldiers, knowing that we stand shoulder to shoulder with extraordinary men and women makes it bearable. It makes it an unbelievably rewarding life."

She nodded. "Today we say goodbye to four friends, but even more than that, we say thank you. Thank you for the gifts given during their lives, and the gifts given in death. It is a sacrifice that I intend to honour every moment." She stood at attention and raised the blade of her hand to her brow. "The Lays of Ancient Rome said it best. 'Then out spake brave Horatius, the Captain of the Gate: To every man upon this earth, death cometh soon or late. And how can a man die better than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his Gods.'" She glanced over at Admiral Hackett, holding her salute.

Admiral Hackett took one step forward. "From the stars our bodies are formed; to the stars we return. From the infinite our souls are born; to the infinite we commend the souls of Richard Jenkins, Harvey Gladstone, Abishek Pakti, and Isabelle Turner and ask that they be granted rest."

Shepard snapped her salute, the rest of the crew following suit. She cleared her throat, feeling the sadness lift. The dead had their peace and hopefully a new home in a better place. "Dismissed."

She accepted Anderson's hand to help her down off the crate, giving it an affectionate squeeze before she released him. Checking her chrono, she saw that they had about two hours to make it to their meeting with the council. Enough time to stop by Dr. Michel's clinic and get new implants.

"I've got a little shopping to do before I meet with the council," she told the small group of people who gathered. "Anyone have the burning desire to shop for aural implants and personal products?"

Nihlus sighed. "Can't say I have a burning desire to watch you pick out toothpaste and soap, but since we are heading to the same location, and none of us should go anywhere alone, I'll suffer through it."

Shepard clapped her hand over her heart. "Your sacrifice is duly noted, Spectre Kryik." She sniffed and aped wiping a tear. "So touching."

"I'll come along as well," Ashley said. "I could use toothpaste that doesn't feel like 180 grit sandpaper in my mouth, and a few other things that the military has had over a hundred years to get right and still hasn't." She smiled. "I'll grab a shower, change and meet you at Dr. Michel's." She hurried to the elevator.

Shepard looked up into Garrus's face as he stepped beside her. His mandibles fluttered in a soft, almost secretive smile. "I have an appointment at C-Sec, so I won't be joining you until later."

Shepard frowned. "You going back to work?" Her heart dropped at the thought of that. She'd come to rely on his constant, steady presence at her back. He was a piece of her that she hadn't considered losing once Sovereign and Saren went down. Shepard and Vakarian … she'd just assumed they'd become an unstoppable unit.

But then he shook his head. "I've found a new job." Rolling his eyes, he let out a long-suffering sigh and shook his head. "The pay sucks. I mean really, really sucks, but it's good work, and I get along pretty well with my co-workers. I figured now that my contract was up, I'd see about applying for a permanent position, but that means quitting my old job."

Shepard slipped her hand into his, a tsunami of relief and gratitude washing over her to leave her feeling dizzy and a little stupid. Of course he wasn't leaving her. Garrus was far too good a torin and too loyal a companion to abandon her. She squeezed his talons before letting go. She screwed her face up into a dubious, considering scowl. "I know the boss and she's … well, she's a bit of a pill, but I could maybe talk to her about the really, really sucky pay."

He held up his hands in a defeated sort of gesture. "Good luck, but dealing with that woman. I won't hold my breath." Grinning, he backed away. "Time for a tactical retreat, I think."

Shepard aimed a kick at his backside as he strode away.

Hackett approached her. "I need to get back to the fleet, we're still running S&R on the ships Sovereign carved up. The council wants me at your meeting later, so I'll see you before we head back to Arcturus." He held out his hand. "Whatever I might think of Reapers, you've done a hell of a job here, Shepard. When you have your ducks in a row for a planning conference, let me know. I'll be there."

She shook his hand. "Thank you, sir." When he brushed past, she glanced over to where Kirrahe and Rentola stood talking in low voices. "I'll be right back. I want to see how the STG are faring." She spotted Kaidan and beckoned him over. "Hey, Sparky, how are you feeling?"

He nodded, but she could still hear a lot of rattling when he breathed. "I'm okay, Shepard. Be back to normal in a couple of days."

She squeezed his shoulder. "Don't rush things. All we've got for the next week or so is vacation. Rest up." Nodding toward the salarians, she asked, "Can you take care of making sure the STG gets where they need to go. If you call Barla Von, he'll be able to secure transport for them if they want to keep a low profile. We just might need to bug out of here in a hurry if the council meeting doesn't go well, and I'm not sure they want to become fugitives."

Alenko nodded. "Sure. I'll get them squared away this afternoon. The doc might want to send those two to a clinic for a couple of days, so I'll check with her first."

"Good man." Giving him a tight-lipped smile, she stepped past him.

"Captain Shepard," Kirrahe greeted as she stepped up to them. "Thank you for your hospitality, although had I known about the geth, rachni, and krogan, I may have gone ahead with the council's kill order."

A humourless, gallows smile cut across her face. It felt like a wound. "That would have been unfortunate, because even now Reapers would be killing or enslaving everyone on the Citadel before spreading out from there." She studied his expression, praying that he wouldn't prove to be a liability after all.

The salarian shuddered. "I saw that thing myself and can't believe it existed let alone that it's one of thousands. That the council, and possibly even the dalatrasses, would be involved in aiding those abominations . . .." He shook his head. "Once my people have healed, you may be assured that we'll investigate this fully, Captain. Anything we learn about these Reapers will be passed along to you."

Shepard held out her hand, waiting patiently as he seemed to debate the wisdom of so friendly a gesture. In the end, he gripped her fingers for a moment then pulled back. "I have Lt. Alenko seeing that you have covert transport anywhere you need to go once the doctor clears you. Thank you for your assistance, Captain." She looked to Rentola. "And you, as well, Commander. You saved my life." She backed away a couple of steps. "Take care, gentlemen. I hope with the STG's formidable intelligence capabilities, we can save a lot of lives."

"We shall see, Captain Shepard. We shall see." Kirrahe herded Rentola toward the elevator.

Shepard grinned and shook her head. She hoped that Kirrahe's investigation convinced him to help prepare. The STG were unparalleled at intel gathering and espionage, and she suspected that the salarian approach to war, while not considered entirely correct by Alliance standards, would serve them well fighting Reapers. She waited until the elevator had time to take the salarians to the crew deck, then headed over and palmed the control.

Anderson stepped up beside her as the doors opened. "Mind if I hitch with you? Udina wants me at your meeting with the council." He winked at her. "Hell of a job pulling all this together, kid. Can I buy you some dinner, maybe a chocolate milkshake?"

Shepard grinned and slipped her hand through his elbow. "Absolutely, so long as you don't mind me bringing my boyfriend along." Her grin widened at his sigh then faded. "Well, providing we aren't on the run from the council by dinner time."

An hour later, the small group of Normandy personnel made their way toward the lower market in the wards, just chatting about stupid things, relaxing before the inevitable doom of the council.

"Captain Shepard!" an eager, young female voice called across the common area.

Shepard stopped and looked, seeing a hand waving above the crowd of C-Sec and civilians. Some of the C-Sec officers turned to look at her as if they recognized her name, but then moved on. She smiled, proud of herself for the way she'd arranged things. Anderson would be the hero of the attack on the Citadel. Well, he and Garrus's father. Hackett would be the hero in the skies along with the geth and quarians. And she could continue to spin the webs in relative obscurity from Omega, overseeing it all while avoiding public recognition.

A pretty, black-haired young woman hurried over, her hand still waving above the crowd as if afraid Shepard would forget her and move on. "Captain Shepard!"

"Yes, I hear you." Shepard chuckled. "I'm standing here waiting for you." The chuckle died to a wide grin as Nihlus elbowed her. "Ow, Kryik. Be careful. I'm damaged."

His laugh came out deep and throaty. "You're telling me."

"Don't make me kick you in public." She looked back to the young woman as she stopped, chest heaving from the run. "Hello. What can I do for you, Miss … ?"

"Emily Wong. I'm a reporter." She wrung her hands a little, as if expecting a less than welcoming reception when it came to that revelation, but she soldiered on. "My sources say that you were up on the Presidium directing the fleets working to take down that ship. I can't get any information from anyone on what the ship was or what race it belonged to." She shrugged. "I saw krogan all over the Citadel fighting against C-Sec and Alliance soldiers. Was it krogan? Can you help me out? I—"

Shepard cut her off with a raised hand. "Whoa, slow down a little. Yes, I know what that ship was and who it belonged to, but it's a very long story, and one I'm not sure your publishers will care for." She activated her omnitool. "I'll send you my information so that you can contact me in a week or so. I'll let you decide whether it's a story you want to tell then, okay?"

The reporter grinned, practically bouncing on the spot. "Thank you, Captain. I'll be in touch."

"You're welcome, but wait on the thanks. I'm not doing you any favours inviting you into this mess." She held out her hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Wong."

The handshake just about popped Shepard's elbow. "And you."

Shepard sighed, watching the reporter dash off. "Ah the eagerness and folly of youth."

Nihlus shook his head. "I don't know, Shepard. A kid like that, she'll get herself killed if she believes our story." He shrugged and turned back toward the markets. "Or get herself laughed out of the profession."

"She could, or with a little wisdom and discretion, start seeding the idea of a threat in people's minds." Shepard shrugged and began weaving through the crowd. "I don't intend to dump the information on her and walk away, Nihlus." She scowled up at him. "You know I don't spend lives cheaply." Stopping, she looked around. "Is it just me, or is this place insanely crowded today? Don't people know that the Citadel was attacked yesterday?"

"People are out precisely because it was attacked yesterday," an accented, male voice said from a couple of feet away. "Did I hear correctly? You're Captain Shepard? Is that Jane Shepard, hero of Elysium?"

She crossed her good arm over her sling. "Who's asking?"

He closed on her fast, his hand coming out in the single, smooth motion that only politicians and car salesmen knew. "The names Charles Saracino of the Terra Firma party. It is an honour to meet you, Captain."

Shepard pulled her hand back and wiped it on her trousers. "I can't say the same." She jutted her chin out toward the crowd. "You've brought these people out here? Why? They should be at home letting C-Sec and maintenance get things put back together."

"I'm sure you're aware that Armistice Day is coming up, and with the attack yesterday … krogan killing humans in the street … Alliance soldiers dying to help protect aliens … well, it seemed like a good day to come out and get our voices heard by the alien appeasers on the Citadel. The First Contact War taught humanity a lesson that some might forget. Yesterday just drove that lesson home, Captain. If humanity doesn't stand up for itself, no one else will."

Shepard laughed, hard and angry. "You're saying that in front of a turian council Spectre who was up there fighting at my side. Geth and quarians helped the Alliance and Citadel fleets bring Sovereign down." She shook her head and waved him off. "Go spout your nonsense somewhere else. I'll just pray you don't get a seat in Alliance parliament."

Ashley stepped forward. "He's got a point, Captain. I mean, would we even be here if Saren hadn't attacked Eden Prime? Everything we've been through the last few months, it's because of aliens thinking they have the right to govern how the rest of us live." She grumbled and shrugged. "Or even if the rest of us live."

"And who might you be?" Saracino asked, holding his hand and a leaflet out to Ash.

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams." She shook his hand and took the paper. "I was on Eden Prime when Saren attacked it. Watched my squad and a lot of good, innocent people gunned down."

"Ash … ." Shepard stepped in between them. "This isn't the time or place." She nodded toward the doors into the market. "Let's go."

"Williams?" Saracino stepped around Shepard. "You wouldn't be related … ?"

"To General Williams, yes. His granddaughter." Ash backed away, giving Saracino a little salute with the leaflet. "Have a good day."

"And you, Chief. And you."

Shepard could feel Sarcino's eyes following them the rest of the way to the doors. His stare felt like eels inside her dress blues. "That was risky, Ash," she whispered, giving the chief a worried scowl. "They're a bunch of crazies."

Ashley nodded. "Yes, ma'am, but I bet you anything Cerberus is hip deep in Terra Firma. It might just be a way in if I play hard enough to get." She grinned and shrugged. "Never thought of myself as the covert type."

"Just be careful. These guys aren't playing." Shepard herded her group through the market, feeling Nihlus's eyes on her the whole time. His stare felt like the sun through a magnifying glass, and left her feeling as though she should be checking to make sure her uniform wasn't on fire.

"Captain Shepard?"

Shepard stopped and looked around. "What is this? Does everyone know who I am?" She spotted a blonde fellow waving a paper. "Yes? You are?"

"Oh my god! It is you! I can't believe it." He ran over, stopping just short of mowing her down. Ash didn't make out as well and Nihlus had to catch her and set her back on her feet. "Captain Shepard," the fellow crowed. "Hero of Elysium and Eden Prime. They say you saved the Citadel yesterday." He thrust a paper and pen at her. "My name's Conrad Verner. Could I get your autograph?"

Shepard let out a braying laugh, but then let it die when she saw the intense, earnest expression on his face. "Oh, you're serious. Well, I'm glad to meet you, Conrad." She shook his hand, but warded off the paper. "Autographs are for pop-stars and baseball players, not soldiers." Patting him on the shoulder, she attempted to step past him, but he blocked the way.

"You're even more beautiful in person. No one is going to believe that I met the Captain Shepard." A wide, beatific grin spread across his face.

"Sure they will, everyone seems to be meeting me today. You take care of yourself, Conrad." She managed to duck past him that time and ran down the stairs. "Good grief. If they start a Captain Shepard fan club, I quit. The Reapers can have the galaxy." She glanced back at Anderson, shaking her head at his attempts to stow his grin. "Don't you start, sir."

Anderson just gave her his best innocent expression and shrugged as if he had no clue what she could possibly be talking about.

In the alley behind the wards, Shepard sent the others on their way and called a cab. "I've had enough of being grabbed and hollered at like a sideshow attraction for one day," she grumbled, barely giving Nihlus time to get in before she slammed the top down.

They landed in the exact spot where she'd jumped up on the C-Sec car. "Ah, the memories," she said and glanced back at Nihlus, grinning. She caught the glare Anderson shot her way, but it just made her cackle. "Aw, come on, sir. Like you aren't used to my antics by now?" She popped the top of the car open. "You knew what I was doing the moment you saw that footage."

Anderson got out, answering only with a shrug as he led the way. The council, Udina, and Hackett awaited them in the center of the bridge that spanned the lakes. It was a good choice for a meeting. The battle that had scarred the presidium metres away hadn't touched the bridge and the breeze coming off the fountains in the lakes kept the reek of smoke to a minimum.

"Captain Shepard," Tevos said, her voice as calm and gracious as ever, "Captain Anderson, Spectre Kryik." She stood between Sparatus on her right and Valern on her left as she did in the chambers, and Shepard wondered if it became a conditioned response after time. The asari straightened, lining herself up with a halo of foliage and flowers from the balconies across the bridge. Shepard had to give her points for staging and presentation. At least if it was an execution, it was going to prove an impressive one.

Anderson and Nihlus nodded and murmured non-committal greetings. For her part, Shepard didn't feel good about wishing anyone a good afternoon who might be sticking her in front of a firing squad within an hour. It wasn't a hard and fast rule, more of a guideline, but it worked for her. The elcor acrobatic troupe in Shepard's belly brought in a guest lion tamer and three performing elephants. She really hoped the council didn't try to kill her. Things existed in her life that she wanted to see through.

"We are gathered here," Tevos continued as if she hadn't really expected them to say anything, "to recognize the enormous contribution of the Alliance in the battle against Sovereign and Saren's forces."

Shepard blinked a couple of times, her belly flopping as the elephants rolled around on giant balls, but then the councillor's words made it through her preset panic over having Garrus and the Normandy snatched away from her. Glancing at Nihlus, she saw his mandibles and brow plates working as he struggled through to the same conclusion and looked at her. They were being thanked. Not prosecuted. Thanked. For a moment, Shepard thought she might faint dead away from dizziness, but managed to wrestle her relief under control. Everything she'd done … all the plans and safety nets … they'd actually worked. No. There had to be a trap waiting somewhere ahead. She found herself holding her breath until that also threatened to make her pass out.

Valern drew her attention as he gave a soft little cough and then said, "Many humans lost their lives in the battle to save the Citadel, brave and courageous soldiers who gave their lives so that we, the Council, may live." His tone sounded sincere, as if he actually regretted the loss of life on the Citadel's behalf. She still didn't trust it … couldn't trust it. Sharp barbs of warning stabbed up and down her spine.

Sparatus gave a little nod and held her stare as he spoke, "There is no greater sacrifice, and we share your grief over the tragic loss of so many noble men and women." His famila notas and bearing gave her the impression of an eagle poised, circling overhead waiting for her to try to run. When she straightened in response, his mandibles fluttered ever so slightly. A smile? From Sparatus? Maybe she had died under the rubble after the Conduit blew.

Tevos's hands returned to fidget ever so slightly for a moment, before she dropped them back to her sides. "Spectre Kryik, Captain Shepard, the council also owes you both a great, personal debt. One we can never repay." She ducked her head in a conciliatory manner that came across embarrassed, as if she had seen the error of their ways. Maybe Sovereign's death had taken the whammy off them. "You saved not just our lives, or the lives of the people on this station, but billions of lives from Sovereign and the Reapers."

Shepard felt Nihlus burning a hole through the side of her head with that stare of his, but didn't dare take her eyes off the council. If it wouldn't have caused everyone to look at her strangely, she would have pinched herself. It had to be a dream.

Valern was speaking again. Something about heroic and selfless actions. "… serve as a symbol of everything that humanity and the Alliance stand for."

Reality started to settle in a little, the dizzy fog dissipating in the bright, fake sunlight.

Sparatus took over, the little play acted out seamlessly as if they'd practiced it beforehand. "Though we cannot bring back those valiant soldiers who gave their lives to save ours, we can honour their memories through our actions." The councillor straightened, looming even taller over her.

"Captain Shepard," Tevos said, her voice suddenly firm, "step forward."

Shepard's eyes tried to jump over to Nihlus, but she forced them to stay facing front even as her heart started hammering against the inside of her ribs, demanding to be let out before the bullets started flying. Her hands shook and her palms began to sweat. God, she'd hoped to be a lot braver facing her own demise.

Take a deep breath, get those shoulders back, and face whatever comes like the warrior you are. For pity's sake, you weren't this afraid of Sovereign.

"It is the decision of this council," Tevos said, her voice fighting its way past the diatribe going on inside Shepard's head, "that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel."

Was that birds chirping? Shepard was pretty sure she'd never heard a bird on the Citadel before that moment.

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen," Valern continued. "Individuals forged in the fires of service and battle; individuals whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

No, not birds, just the ringing in her ears. Shepard's knees began to tremble, and suddenly it took every ounce of control she possessed not to break into giddy, hysterical laughter. They were making her a Spectre? Sweet baby Jesus, they were making her the first human Spectre. She forced herself to listen, to actually be present in the moment rather than swirling around inside her head. Breathing slow and steady, she calmed her heartbeat and stilled the trembling.

Tevos tilted her chin up, looking haughty for the first time, perhaps it, like standing between her fellow councillors, could be attributed to habit. "Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the council, instruments of our will." The asari's face hardened rather than softening, as if those olivine eyes attempted to drill the importance of the moment into Shepard's head. Although surely wasted effort, Shepard awarded her a handcart of points for trying.

Sparatus seemed to think he could accomplish the same just by being huge and impressive. Shepard had to admit, it sort of worked. "Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

Tevos softened again as she said, "It is a duty for which you have already shown both passion and ability, Captain. You are the first human Spectre, a great accomplishment for both you and your entire species." Then the asari smiled. "Congratulations, Captain. And thank you, to both you and Spectre Kryik. Your dedication to duty has saved us all."

Shepard bowed from the waist a little. "Thank you, Councillors for this honour and for your trust. I will endeavour to uphold your faith in me in all things." She straightened, then stepped back, smiling a small, tight-lipped smile as Anderson patted the back of her shoulder. Of all the ways she'd thought events would transpire when the council called her there, being made a Spectre had never entered her mind. Unbelievable.

"Humanity," Tevos continued, "has shown that it is ready to stand as a defender and protector of the galaxy. You have proved you are worthy to join our ranks and serve beside us on the Citadel Council."

Udina puffed up and stepped forward. "Councillor, on behalf of humanity and the Alliance, we thank you for this prestigious honour …" He nodded his head in a stately, practiced way. "… and humbly accept."

Anderson smacked Shepard in the back of the head before she even thought about saying anything. She scowled at the injustice. He could have at least given her a chance to formulate an insulting comment before the preemptive smack.

Valern glared at her as if he also expected some sort of commotion. "We will need a list of potential candidates to fill humanity's seat on the council," he said, those huge eyes blinking at her.

"Shepard, as the first human Spectre and the driving force behind bringing down Saren and Sovereign," Tevos said, her dainty blue hands clasped loosely before her, "we're certain your endorsement will carry a great deal of weight when it comes to choosing humanity's representative." She smiled, showing no signs of discomfort or the slightest twitch that might indicate deception. "Would you care to recommend anyone for our consideration?"

Shepard gave the council a curt bow, just her head that time, snapping down then back. "Madam Councillor, I believe this council couldn't find a better compliment to your number then Ambassador Udina." She bit down on her lip to stifle a grin as Udina stumbled, turning a baffled, ridiculous stare to gape at her. "He knows the nooks and crannies of Alliance and Earth politics better than anyone, and has cultivated favour with the colonial authorities as well. I believe that he'll prove to be an exceptional fit."

Anderson gave Shepard a sideways glance. "You sure about this, Captain?" he whispered under his breath.

Shepard nodded, glaring at him in a way that she prayed stopped him arguing any further. "I definitely recommend Ambassador Udina to take the seat on the Council. No one is more deserving of the council's company. He'll do humanity proud as we move on into this new era of peace."

Tevos looked to the councillors on her left and right, then nodded.

Shepard turned to face the ambassador and held out her hand, but he just stared at it, his mouth hanging open in a way that filled her with an indecent amount of joy. She leaned forward, grabbed his hand and shook it. After a second, he let out a yelp and yanked it back as if her hand was made of slimy squid. Cackling at his expression of combined disgust and shock, she said, "Good luck, sir." She bowed stiffly to the other three. "Thank you for the honour of becoming humanity's first Spectre. I will dedicate myself to doing both this council and humanity proud."

They each gave her a dismissive nod.

Shepard started back toward the ward's access, but stopped when Nihlus went the other way. He bowed to the council, stiff and formal.

"Thank you, councillors. We will endeavour to continue to be of service," he said, then brushed past them, walking up the arc of the bridge and then a little ways down the other side.

Shepard followed, her face slowly creasing into a scowl as he stopped and raised his hands to his mouth. Seeing what he was doing the moment he did it, she felt fire race up her neck to set her face aflame.

"Humanity's first Spectre," Nihlus shouted to the crowd gathered along the balcony on the other side of the bridge. In answer, what looked to be the entire crew erupted into a boisterous cacophony of cheers, hoots, and ear-shattering whistles.

Clapping a hand over her mouth to stifle a ragged sob, Shepard blinked back tears even as a wide, embarrassed, grateful, honoured, stupid grin spread across her face. Meeting Garrus's gaze across the distance, she gave a little shrug, then held out her arms, dissolving into helpless laughter as her boatload of idiots just kept hollering. Love and gratitude filled her until she felt as though her feet would lift off the cement and carry her out into the nebula. Their support, their joy at the moment meant everything, and she loved them for it.

"Okay, okay," she bellowed, sweeping a deep, dramatic bow. Straightening, she threw impatient swats their way. "Get out of here, and stop disturbing the peace before I have C-Sec arrest the lot of you." She couldn't manage to force the grin off her face though, and gave them a slow, sincere bow of her head. "Thank you. Now git!"

Nihlus walked back to face her and reached out to take her hand, giving her a half-apologetic smile. "The Spectre induction was one reason I thought they might want to see us. I told the crew, and they wanted to be here"

Shepard punched him in the arm, then grinned and tugged him into a hug. "Thanks. It wouldn't have been the same without them." Drawing back, she nodded back to where Anderson waited. "Let's go relax for a while, shall we?" She led the way, looking back over her shoulder as she walked. "I think we should take Anderson on vacation and then turn him over to Hackett. I don't want to leave him here. If Udina decides to keep him on as his attache, he's going to end up indoctrinated." That thought almost made her throw up her peanut butter toast right there. She'd be seven days dead before she left Anderson to that fate.

Nihlus nodded, jogging a couple of strides to catch up with her. "I agree. He's too valuable an asset to risk." He grinned, his mandibles flicking hard. "Loved what you said about Udina. Stirring, really."

She just grinned and shrugged, deadpanning, "I meant every word."

The council and Udina had moved off toward the taxi stand, conversing in low tones. Hackett had already gone, but she'd see him when they got to Omega. Shepard swallowed the fire breathing gymnast that climbed up her throat, and slipped her hand through Anderson's elbow as she passed him. When he resisted, she shook her head, leading him with a forceful hand toward the elevator to the wards.

"Come on, Anderson, it's time to party. You know, I've never seen you drunk. I think I should." She grinned, tightening her grip on him as he dragged behind. "I promise not to take more than three minutes of vid if you start singing." She looked into his eyes, meeting the confusion with a broad wink. "Okay, five, tops."

Anderson pulled her to a halt on the stairs down the wards access then took her by the shoulders, staring into her eyes. "Have you lost your mind, Shepard? Udina? All he did was throw you to the sharks, and then stab you in the back when you managed to climb out." He shook his head as if he couldn't even fathom the depths of insanity she'd plumbed. "He will actively try to pull you and the entire war effort down, Shepard."

She nodded. "Lost my mind? Yeah, I think I have, Anderson. I really think I have. But on the upside, I'm now a crazy Spectre, which is nice." She gave him a smile that attempted to tell him to stop arguing with her. "Come on, old friend. We have a lot to talk about, but let's do it on the Normandy." She started back down the access, hoping the elevator at the end was empty.

"The crew want to meet at Flux for a drink before we take the party back to the Normandy, Shepard," Nihlus told her. He followed a good five metres back, looking casual and relaxed although Shepard felt the tension radiating from him, even from that distance. He'd taken rear guard. "Although, according to Pressly, there is enough alcohol being delivered to the ship that he's starting to feel as though allowing it on board is a dereliction of duty."

"Then to Flux we shall go. It's on the way back to the ship anyway." She herded Anderson onto the elevator. She didn't think the council would make her a Spectre one second just to drop a piano on her head the next, but she wouldn't feel relatively safe until they bunkered down on Omega.

The Captain stood beside her, glaring at the side of her head, but didn't say anything.

She turned to smile happily at him. "We'll have a drink at Flux, head to the Normandy, crack a bottle and get shit-faced in celebration." She shot her eyes quickly toward the camera, then just leaned casually against the wall. "Crazy few days, huh?" She opened a comm channel, feeling the empty space at her back like an open wound. "Hey, Garrus, I hear we're meeting at Flux before going back to the ship. Can you pick up something dextro that Tali can drink? She's still with the fleet here, isn't she?"

"Are you worried?" was all he asked.

"A little bit. Certainly wouldn't argue with seeing your handsome mug a few alleyways early." She closed her eyes for a second. Thank the mighty powers that be. He just knew.

"Okay. I'll meet you at the elevator door before that long alley into the common area. See you in a minute."

Feeling more settled knowing Garrus was on his way, Shepard smiled at Anderson again. "I think Udina will do a fine job as humanity's representative. It's what he's been spending his entire career working toward. He knows the players and the stage inside out. He should be fine. The Alliance parliament won't let him go too power mad."

"I concur," Nihlus said. "He knows his way through the labyrinth of power."

Anderson folded his arms and cocked a hip, staring at one then the other like he'd been taken hostage by lunatics and hadn't decided whether to start screaming for help. Shepard grinned when she saw the jury vote for not screaming. "So, Shepard," he said, giving her that adopted father scowl. He turned a raised brow glare to Nihlus. "Not one, but two turian boyfriends?"

Shepard swallowed hard, a thin trickle of spit making for her windpipe, slithering down like it had been clever finding new ground until she started to choke. Eyes streaming tears, bronchi burning, she bent over, hacking helplessly until drowning in her own snot became a very real danger. Sucking in a ragged, stuttering breath, she started to gain a little control.

Nihlus rubbed her back. "Actually, Captain, I'm not her boyfriend, I'm just in love with her. Well, and we were bond-mates in prothean memories that the beacons stuffed into our heads … had two kids … spent a lifetime together."

Anderson's expression morphed into worried and confused, but he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and passed it to Shepard without looking away from Nihlus. "Prothean bond-mates? Had two kids?" He shook his head. "That one is going to take a little explaining.

Shepard wheezed as the choking eased up then blew her nose. Shooting Nihlus a scowl that should have left a half metre hole coming out the other side, she stomped on his foot. She pointed at Anderson as she leaned on a knee, trying to catch her breath. "No. Get those thoughts out of your head, sir. You don't get to pull your, 'Son, come help me decide which shotgun to take on this mission' stunts any more. I'm not an eighteen year old cadet." She straightened as the elevator stopped at the wards.

Anderson's chuckle affirmed how proud he'd been pulling that move. "You've got to admit, having the suitors help me choose my weapons got you a lot of extra study time."

Shepard led the way down the corridor, the access nearly deserted. Praise the Enkindlers that at least some people on the station seemed to think that the day after a monstrous machine tried to destroy everything was an excellent day to stay home. She slipped her arm through Anderson's. "Yeah, my name became, 'No, not that one, her guardian is a madman'." Grinning, she bumped him with her shoulder as he laughed.

Garrus waited outside the last elevator, a liquor store bag in hand. He held it up. "I got the good stuff for Tali."

Shepard grinned and stepped out, slipping her arm through his. "Excellent. Now we have the makings of a first rate party." Her smile widened as he put his hand around her waist, pulling her in tight against his side.

Glancing up as the elevator at the end of the hallway opened, letting a few civilians out, Shepard leaned into her boyfriend's side. Boyfriend … how crazy was that? She bumped him with her hip. "Relax, Brother C-Sec. I've got you." Crazy, but wonderful.

His mandibles fluttered. "Yeah, I guess you do." He bent to nuzzle her temple. "You okay?"

A soft smile brightened her face. "Yeah, I am now." The heat of a heavy blush crawled up her neck as his voice set off that very warm flutter deep in her belly. "You know, Garrus, something just occurred to me," she said, lowering her voice to a husky whisper. The blush deepened.

His brow plates arched, and he pulled her against his side, leaning down to whisper back, "What's that?"

She hesitated and glanced behind them, not really keen on Anderson listening in as she hit on her turian boyfriend, but the captain and Nihlus were discussing whether Udina should be assigned bodyguards. On that, she'd vote no.

Her smile returned, beaming with love and more than a little heat. "After today, you aren't really on my crew any more." She purred a little, deep in her throat. "You know what that means, don't you?"

He made a show of thinking about that. "Um, I never have to suffer through you driving the Mako again?"

She chuckled and elbowed him. "You are such a poop!" God, she loved how still and centered he made her feel. "But okay, I give you that, but it also exempts you from my 'never with my crew' rule."

His response came out only as a rumble in his throat that cut straight through her, making her skin lift in gooseflesh. A shy smile brought her eyes back up to the civilians. Most of them passed her by without any notice.

A man tripped, stumbling into Shepard's side and grabbed her arm inside her sling, dragging a thin cry of pain from her lips. He didn't seem to notice, his eyes riveted on hers, his face far too close. "Hey wait, aren't you Captain Shepard?"

Shepard frowned and jerked back, ignoring the pain. "Who … ?" She pressed back into Garrus's side, but as she pulled back, the man pushed in. The alarm at the base of her skull shrieked.

Something slammed under her jaw, cold and hard.

Her name tore, raw and bleeding, from Garrus's throat.

Thunder roared, shattering her like a dropped mirror.