Hello everyone, so sorry that it has taken me so long to come back to this story. I have been moving countries and it has been a bit of an upheaval. I needed a little time to get my writing back on track. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 3

Jane

It was time to go to the church, Jane had been dreading it. Today they would go and say goodbye to their mother. Thankfully, women were not allowed to go to the cemetery were they were buried, Jane did not think she could bear to see her mother being lowered into the ground. The carriage ride to the church went by too fast, in no time they were inside.

Jane had given up on listening to the sermon, she had tried but could not concentrate on the words being spoken. She could see that Lizzy was also not listening, her eyes had a far off look that meant that she was deep in thought and not paying attention to her surroundings. Looking around she realized that only Mary and her aunt an uncle were paying attention. Kitty and Lydia were talking in hushed voices and her father also seemed to be in his own world. She discreetly looked around the church. She saw many of her friends and neighbors and at the back she could also see Mr. Bingley, with his sisters, Mr. Hurts and Mr. Darcy. But something was not right. Mr. Bingley looked worried and burdened as if he carried a great weight on his shoulders.

Finally it was over, Jane felt relieved to be leaving the church, she felt as if she had barely any air left. She and Lizzy held hands as they finally got out into the fresh air. Jane tried to find Mr. Bingley in all the people that had just left the church, it took her a few seconds but she finally managed to catch his eye. But his reaction was not what Jane had hoped, he avoided her gaze and looked worried.

"What is wrong Jane?" Lizzy looked at her with questioning eyes.

"It is nothing Lizzy, it's just sadness about mama that's all. Funerals are fearfully sad." Jane responded.

"I see sadness yes, but also worry and doubt. So much has happened recently we must confide in each other Jane, tell me." Jane looked at Lizzy, she was genuinely worried.

"It is silly Lizzy, it is probably nothing but I tried to catch Mr. Bingleys eye and he avoided my gaze after a few seconds. He looked worried I do not know why. Things seemed to be going well at the Netherfield ball, I am not sure what has caused this change in attitude."

"Well things have changed Jane. With mama's death we are now in mourning, you will not be able to go out to dances or meet people socially for three months and Mr. Bingley will not be able to propose in that time. We might accept calls at home but not much more. It's probably just that he is not certain how to approach you now."

"But are you certain he will?"

"Of course. Do you have any doubts?"

Jane lowered her gaze. "No, yes… I am not certain. So many things have happened so fast a part of me is afraid that my hopes will be crushed. I do not think I can bare any more pain Lizzy"

"Do not speak like that Jane. I know all of this has been tremendously hard especially for you as the oldest, but we will get through this, and when the mourning period is over Mr Bingley will propose, you'll see." Jane was not so certain, she did not know why but Mr. Bingley's expression had worried her. He would not look at me at all. Why? She felt like her insides were twisted in knots. Maybe it was the dreadful feeling she was having from loosing her mother that made everything look dark and gloomy, but something deep inside her was telling her that things were going to get worse.

Lizzy

Lizzy was tired, she had lost track of Jane in the throng of people giving her their condolences. Everyone wanted her to know just how sorry they were and kept on and on and on. Lizzy would have preferred if they just left them alone so they could go home and mourn in peace. She was sad and worried about Jane, and while Lizzy had not wanted to worry her, she was concerned as well. Mr. Bingley was no where to be seen after that brief moment they had seen him after leaving the church. Why didn't he not approached Jane to give his condolences? That doesn't seem like Mr. Bingley. She saw her father in the corner of her eye, he pointed at the carriage. Lizzy was relieved that were finally leaving. Thank god, I do not think I can take much more of this. She started on her way to them when suddenly Mr. Darcy appeared before her.

"Mr. Darcy!"

"I am sorry if I startled you Miss Elizabeth, I only wished to offer my most sincerest condolences."

Elizabeth looked at him and was surprised to see true concern and compassion in his face.

"Thank you Mr. Darcy. Where is the rest of your party?" His face changed to that of disapproval.

"Miss Bingley was feeling a bit faint in the crowd and they left when mass ended."

"And you did not leave with them?"

"I did not wish to leave without giving my condolences."

"That is very kind of you Mr. Darcy."

"I know what losing a mother is like Miss Elizabeth. I have lost both my parents, and both losses where very painful. I could not leave without saying how sorry I am for your loss."

Lizzy looked at Mr. Darcy but looked at him with different eyes, leaving aside her prejudice and negative feelings aside. She saw pain in his eyes, and realized that this man had lost both his parents years ago. A man with a young sister and a great estate to run, He had a heavy burden on his shoulders, and yet she saw deep compassion in his eyes, you just had to look hard. Suddenly he reminded her of Jane, deep feelings but hidden deep inside. Have I misjudged him completely? Have I been too harsh in my judgment. Mr. Darcy turned to leave but before he left she could not contain herself.

"Mr. Darcy?"

"Yes, Miss Elizabeth?"

"Does it pass?"

"The sadness?"

She nodded.

"No, it slowly gets better but it never completely passes. But eventually it stops hurting as much, and you will be able to remember her with fondness and not just pain."

"Thank you Mr. Darcy."

"Goodbye, Miss Elizabeth." He turned and left, Elizabeth could barely believe what had just happened. She joined the rest of the family.

"I saw you with Mr. Darcy Lizzy what did he want?" Lizzy's concern for Jane returned when she saw Jane's face.

"He only wanted to give his condolences."

"And Mr. Bingley?"

"Miss Bingley was not feeling well and they were forced to leave as soon as mass ended, I am sure he will come by to give his condolences soon, you'll see Jane." Jane did not look convinced and did not say another word. She was silent the rest of the day and as Lizzy went to bed she prayed that tomorrow would be a better day.

The next day was grey and cloudy, and it fit perfectly with Lizzy's mood. She still decided to go out for a walk early in the morning. Jane was more subdued than ever, and after their conversation in the church Lizzy had been watching her closely and while Jane had tried to hide it Lizzy could see the worry on her face. Lizzy could understand, without their mother, Jane was the one in charge now and their problems were still the same.

Lizzy after having walked her worries away and feeling better joined the rest of the family for breakfast. When she sat down she noticed that Jane was missing and that everyone was uncharacteristically quite.

"Where is Jane?" No one answered. "Did something happen?" She looked around, finally her aunt Gardiner answered.

"A letter came for Jane from Miss Bingley, she retired to her room." Worry filled Elizabeth as she stood up and half walked half run to Jane's room. When she arrived she found Jane sitting at the edge of the bed with a letter in her hands, her face stark white but expressionless. She sat down next to her.

"Jane" Jane remained emotionless as if she had not heard or seen Elizabeth. "Jane–"

"He's gone." She suddenly replied.

"Mr. Bingley?"

"The entire Netherfield party has left for London. Miss Bingley informs me that she was saddened that they were not able to say goodbye but they did not wish to bother us in these hard times."

"When are they coming back?"

"Miss Bingley also informed me that they were to spend Christmas back in London. Mr. Darcy desired to spend the holidays with his sister Georgiana. Miss Bingley is very fond of Miss Darcy as is Mr Bingley, and they are looking forward to seeing more of her. They have no expectation of coming back to Netherfield."

"I do not believe it. This is Miss Bingley trying to keep you and Mr Bingley apart. It's a lie."

"Yet they are gone and Mr Bingley did not come back to say goodbye."

"Jane–"

"–and he would not look at me when we left the church at our mothers funeral. He never even came to give his condolences Lizzy. I do admit that I wished there was more than friendship between us but apparently there was not even a friendship."

"Do not say that Jane."

"Friends do not act like this Lizzy. Maybe I was wrong about him."

"It's his sisters Jane. His sisters–"

"HIS SISTERS DO NOT CONTROL HIS ACTIONS!" Jane stood up in anger and went to look out the window.

She had never seen Jane so angry and she had NEVER seen her shout. Lizzy was left speechless. She did not know what to say. Then she heard someone knock on the door. Her aunt Gardiner slowly opened the door. "Is everything all right here?"

"Yes aunt, but I would like a little time alone if you and Lizzy do not mind."

"Of course not Jane, Lizzy and I will leave." Her aunt Gardiner signaled her to follow her out the room. Her aunt looked at her with worry. "Are you ok Lizzy?"

"I have never seen Jane like this, she actually screamed! Screamed! This is so unlike her. I am very worried."

"Lizzy, even Jane has her limits, she always tries to be serene and strong, but she also feels deeply. This is perhaps the first time that Jane has felt so deeply for someone as she has for Mr Bingley. And to be abandoned with so little care in the midst of such a tragedy has made his betrayal all the more painful. Jane has never wanted to see the bad parts of others, always trying to see the best in people, this may have been a hard wake-up call."

"So what do we do?"

"Let her be. She needs time to grieve and to comprehend everything that has happened. For now you can help her out by doing her chores and other duties she might not be able to do for the time being."

"I will. Thank you aunt. I don't know what we would do without you and uncle."

"You will be just fine my dears. It will be hard for a little while but things will get better."

"I hope Jane will be well after all of this."

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and as hard as these life lessons are, Jane will be stronger because of them you'll see."