TW: Mentions/depictions of anxiety/panic attacks.

I don't own Narnia or the Pevensie siblings, just the plot!

Limp in Peter's arms, her head on his shoulder and her arms looped around his neck, Lucy let her eyes fall closed as her brother carried her up the great steps and into her bedchamber. He leaned against the door behind him until it shut, then set her down on the floor next to her bed.

Without a word, Peter unfastened the back of her dress. He then went over to her dresser, pulling out a light pink nightgown and handing it to her. Too exhausted to protest, Lucy took it from him. He turned his face to the door to allow her some privacy. "Peter?" Her tiny voice pierced the silence. "Could you fold this up for me?" He turned as she handed him her dress. Peter folded the dress neatly before setting it on top of her dresser. Lucy crawled into bed, waiting for her brother to throw her covers over the top of her and tuck her in. All her limbs felt like lead. Peter came to her side and gazed at her for a moment, his face a great mix of anguish, wonder, anxiety, and love. Then all at once, he was lifting her up in his arms once more, laying down on the bed with her resting on top of his chest. He pulled her brown blanket over the top of them both. It barely covered his torso, but fairly buried Lucy due to her small size. Lucy shifted, ducking her head down a bit to rest in the crook of his shoulder, her nose tucked into her hand. "Lu?" Peter whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"Can I stay?"

"Please," she gave a sleepy, shuddery sigh. Peter let out a greatly relieved sigh of his own and tightened his grip around her. The two drifted off only minutes later.

Edmund picked at the fabric of the sofa, greatly aware that he was currently under Susan's scrutinous gaze. She stared at him as though he were from a different planet before she sat down next to him, her fingers very lightly and methodically stroking his black hair.

"Edmund—"

"I'm not explaining anything until Peter is back, Susan," he mumbled, "I know you both have questions and I don't care to discuss it twice."

"That's fair," she replied. "Edmund, I'm so proud of you." He looked over at her, taken aback.

"Erm…thanks Su."

"Really. That was very well done, all of it. You took such good care of her, better than Peter or I could've done, it would seem. I'm glad that you were here."

"Me too," Edmund could feel redness beginning to sneak up the back to his neck to his cheeks. He cleared his throat. "How long do you think Peter will be?"

"I can run up and have a look, if you like," Susan offered. He nodded and she stood, leaning down to kiss his forehead before taking the stairs.

Only when Susan was out of sight did Edmund allow himself to drop his head into his arms, drawing in a deep breath and holding it as his stomach turned. Seeing Lucy like that brought up bad memories, phantom discomfort that he would much rather leave buried. It made him feel small; feeling small set him on edge. He found himself biting the inside of his cheek hard as he squeezed his eyes shut against the blackness that loomed at the back of his mind. It's been 2 years, he thought to himself, exasperated, this is completely absurd. He ground his fingers into his leg, hoping the pain would help him stay grounded. STOP THIS, he commanded his body, his mind, STOP—

"Edmund?" He almost leapt up from where he sat at the sound of Susan's voice. He hadn't even heard her come back down the stairs.

"Lion's mane, Su," he clapped a hand over his chest.

"You alright?" She sat back down next to him, smoothing the hair out of his face. "You really need to manage your hair, darling. I'm surprised you can see a thing." Edmund forced a smirk.

"Where's Peter?" Susan lowered her arm to rest around his shoulders.

"He and Lu are sleeping hard in her room. He must have been holding her and they both just passed out. Should probably give them a bit. Would you like me to find you when Peter's up?"

"Erm…sure. What're you doing 'til then?" Susan cocked her head a bit. Since when did Edmund show interest in her daily affairs?

"I have to supervise inventory for a couple different things," she replied slowly, "why do you ask?" Edmund shrugged. "…Do you want to come with me?"

"Yes!" Edmund spit it out, too quickly. Susan's eyes widened. "I—I mean…only if it's not a problem…if you already have enough staff, that's fine…" She surveyed her little brother for a long moment.

"What did you do?"

"Huh?"

"What," she gave him a suspicious, knowing little smile, "did you do? You only ever stick to me like glue when you're trying to bide yourself time and save your backside."

"That's not—"

"Let's have it," she tipped his chin up a bit, "I promise not to be too cross. You'd better tell me the whole truth, though." Her eyes were sparkling with amusement. "If I find that you've left anything out, it'll be much worse for you."

"That's not why I…I didn't do anything, Susan. I'm just—"

"You can't really expect me to believe that you're bored and that's why you're willingly offering to help me with busywork of your own accord." Susan snickered. "Out with it. What have you done?"

"I didn't do anything!" Edmund reeled back from Susan's touch as his cry echoed around the common room. "Never mind I ever asked!" He jerked himself to his feet as she glowered at him. "Have fun with your inventory." And he stalked away.

"Edmund! Edmund Michael Pevensie!" He heard his sister's reproachful shout of his name but chose to ignore her. Stupid, so stupid, he tore away down the right hall and out the door. She's going to tell Peter now, and I've landed myself in trouble for nothing. So stupid to think she would understand. So stupid to fall for the trap of needing company. I'm not a toddler. I don't need her. I don't need anyone. Edmund raced for the beach.

To be continued.