TW: Mentions/depictions of anxiety/panic attack.
I don't own Narnia or the Pevensie siblings, just the plot!
"Pete," Edmund broke the shocked silence, calling out to Peter in a choked voice. At the sound of his name, Peter rushed over to his little brother, dropping down next to him. He pulled Edmund close, flipping his legs across his own so that Edmund could lean against his shoulder. The boy clung to him, pushing his head into the crook of Peter's neck, gripping his nightshirt with an iron grip, sobbing hard, coughing between sobs, wheezing for air, and trembling violently. Alarmed, Peter pulled him back for just a moment and raised his palm to Edmund's forehead.
"He isn't sick," Lucy spoke from his other side. "That's what I keep trying to tell you. He's not ill. This is the same thing that happened to me yesterday. He just needs a bit of time to come off it, if you both would-"
"Lucy, leave the room," Peter spoke in a low voice. Her mouth dropped open and she reeled back.
"I...I beg your par-"
"Susan, escort her. Get to the bottom of this. I will stay with Edmund. The less people crowding him, the better, it would seem. Out. Both of you." He looked at Lucy sternly. "You tell Susan absolutely everything, understand?" Lucy was aghast with indignance. Finally, she drew herself to her feet and stalked out of the room, shutting the door loudly behind her. Susan was on her tail, chastising,
"Lucy, do not slam that door!" as she went.
Peter turned back to his younger brother. "Shhhh, Ed. Edmund," he murmured.
"Pete," his brother sobbed again.
"Hey, shhhh. I'm here," Peter spoke to him quietly but firmly. "Peace, brother. Peace, brother." He held Edmund tightly and patted his back softly and rhythmically. "It's alright. You're alright. And I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you." Edmund's tears turned gradually from panicked sobs to heavy, hard ones as he calmed. He was not trembling quite so hard when he slowly turned towards Peter a bit more and threw his arms around both of Peter's shoulders in an attempt at a full hug. Peter started a bit; Edmund was the least affectionate of his siblings and while he accepted physical affection quite easily, offering it was a very rare occurrence. Edmund's back was quite twisted in this position. Peter shifted him just a bit so that he was sitting more in his lap before returning the hug.
"I, I'm," Edmund gasped. "I'm sorry," he finally managed, and then he continued to sob.
"Edmund, you've nothing to apologize for, brother dear. Everything is alright, shhhh. I'm here with you and I love you so much and everything is alright." Peter's left hand rested on the back of Edmund's head, his fingers lightly stroking his hair.
"No, no, no," Edmund shook his head violently. "Everything is...it's not...I can't..." he stuttered, unable to find the words he needed to communicate to Peter what he so desperately needed him to know.
"Ed...if...if this is about me tossing you in the water earlier," Peter said slowly, his heart sinking even further, "you have my utter and most sincere apology. I'd no idea that would have happened. I was just playing. I'm sorry."
"No, no, no," Edmund repeated. Peter was growing quite worried and almost wished his sisters would come back so he didn't need to do this all on his own; he was doing quite a rubbish job at improving the situation, it seemed. "Pete...the Witch..."
"The what?" Peter sat up suddenly in alarm, every nerve tingling. "What did you say? The what?"
"The Witch," Edmund sobbed and tried to move even closer to Peter, who was drawing him out at arm's length so that he could see and hear him clearly. "She...she taunts me...can't get rid of her..."
"Susan!" Peter called to the door. "Lucy!" There was no response. "Stay here," Peter instructed Edmund, "I won't be but a minute." He detached Edmund and ran to the doors; opened them and glanced around. He went first to Lucy's bedchamber, which he found vacant, then went to Susan's. With relief, he found the two girls sitting on Susan's bed, talking. Lucy's head shot up and Susan whirled around to face him when he entered.
"I need you," he gasped, his voice catching with grief and fear and also immense relief at finding them. "I...I thought I knew what to do, but-" and that was all he needed to say, for before he had finished half his sentence, Lucy had leapt off the bed and was heading to Edmund's chamber as fast as she could go.
Susan stood a bit more slowly. She studied Peter's face for a moment, then walked over to him and put her arms around his shoulders. He sank gratefully into the embrace.
"It's not your fault, you know," she spoke quietly. "I'm sure you're busy blaming yourself, what with all that happened earlier, but he's fine. Edmund is used to bumps and bruises; by the Lion, most of his injuries are self-inflicted due to pure recklessness." She gave a small giggle and shook her head. She pulled away and then looked at him seriously. "Lucy tells me that he's been having nightmares again, about the White Witch, his time in captivity, the betrayal, all of it. And, furthermore, it would seem that not only does she bother him while he sleeps, he also sees her and hears her while he's awake as well."
"He said something about the Witch just now," Peter cleared his throat and glanced at Susan guiltily, "which was the moment I realized I was in over my head. I...you and Lu have always been better at approaching everything related to that, to her."
"Well, he did ask for you once all of us were in his room," Susan pointed out.
"He did, and I've no idea what for. Anyway, come on. We'll talk later." Peter put an arm around Susan's shoulders and led them both back to Edmund's bedchamber.
Upon entering, they found Lucy in quite a similar position as earlier, her arms wrapped around Edmund's shoulders. Her eyes were closed, her chin rested on his left shoulder (the shoulder nearest to her), and she was speaking to him quietly. He seemed to have steadied out the smallest amount.
"Ed?" Susan tried. At that, Lucy met her eyes and "shush!"ed her quite passionately before continued to murmur in Edmund's ear. Susan glanced at Peter quizzically.
"Edmund, how are you feeling?" Peter spoke.
"For the love—will you two hush?!" Lucy exclaimed. "We're praying." She shook her head a little before leaning in close to Edmund. Peter and Susan looked at each other, thoroughly taken aback. They both stood still for a few moments, not sure what to do. Then, Susan padded quietly closer to her younger siblings and settled herself quite cautiously at Edmund's right side, motioning for Peter to do the same. He tiptoed over to Lucy's side and seated himself next to her.
"—for courage in great fear," Lucy was speaking, almost melodically. "Will You ease his mind and bring him comfort and strength again? Will You renew the redemption that You gave us upon that hill at the table that wretched night? Allow its light and promise to saturate every darkened and terrible area in my brother's mind and spirit." She paused and looked up and across at Susan. "Do you want to pray too?"
"I—I don't…I wouldn't…I don't really pray, Lucy," Susan spoke rather guiltily. "I wouldn't know how to go about it."
"Oh, it's so simple. Really, it is. Just speak to Aslan as if He were here in this room right this moment, in front of us. Ask Him to help Edmund."
"I don't know, Lu," Susan's cheeks began to grow warm with insecurity.
"Please?" Lucy's brows were furrowed with unease. "Will you try? Think how it would help him if we were to all ask Aslan to help him."
"Lucy, it's okay—" Edmund started.
"Hush," she shushed him quickly, then looked back at Susan. "Please?" she almost whispered. Susan sighed and her face grew even redder. Next to Lucy, Peter squirmed with discomfort. Susan reached for one of Edmund's hands and palmed it, studying it in silence for quite some time. Lucy watched as her sister's eyes, though unmoving from her brother's hand, grew wet with tears. Finally, Susan cleared her throat. Very quietly, she spoke.
"Aslan…You alone know wholly and exactly the extent of this…this evil that has been tormenting Edmund so. I implore You to show him Your mercy, as well as the rest of us. Rid him of these nightmares that follow him both day and night. And…and, Aslan…if You do not see it fit to banish these terrors from within our family…then…then I only ask that You give them to me, instead." Edmund started next to Susan. Lucy gasped a little and Peter's head shot up to meet Susan's eyes; she refused to look at any of them, continuing after a moment. Her voice grew stronger. "It is cruel that my brother should be made to suffer the Witch's torments a second time, having lived through them the first. Truly, dear Aslan, I say I cannot allow it, nor bear to watch it continue. Displace them, therefore, and give them to me, instead, that I may suffer them in his place. It would be with great gladness that I suffer such things, for I would suffer much beyond terrors and taunts and nightmares so that my brother…brothers, and my sister, may have peace." When she finished speaking, she wiped her eyes with her sleeve and sniffed a bit. No one moved or said a word. Then, Edmund, who had been listening with wide eyes through the entire second half of Susan's petition, leaned over and put his head into the crook of Susan's neck. She smiled a little and wrapped both arms around him from the side, kissing the top of his head before resting her chin on top of it.
Another long silence filled the room before Lucy's small voice broke it. "Peter? D'you want to say anything?"
"No."
"Please, Peter? You don't have to say—"
"No, Lucy. I don't know what I would say that hasn't already been said. You and Susan pretty much summed all of it up perfectly." Peter's eyes were narrowed a bit. Lucy bit her lip; he was either deep in thought or deeply troubled…or both. He leaned forward a bit, fixing his gaze on Edmund. "Ed…are you alright?" Edmund nodded numbly.
"I'm sorry to have kept you all awake."
"Oh, no, nonsense, darling," Susan said, at the exact moment that Lucy exclaimed, "don't say sorry, silly!" and gave him a smart little tap to the back of his head. Susan glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. "I daresay, it has grown quite late, though. Are you feeling well enough to be able to go back to sleep, Edmund?" The boy nodded once more.
"I'll be fine. Thank you." Susan stood, reaching for Lucy with one hand. Her little sister took it, and she pulled Lucy to her feet, before reaching for Edmund and doing the same. She drew Edmund into a tight embrace.
"Thanks, Su," he spoke quietly.
"I love you, Ed," she replied. "I'm dreadfully sorry that you've been bothered so. Please come to me, any of us, if there is anything that you need as the night progresses. Lost sleep can be so very easily amended." Edmund nodded into her shoulder. Lucy hugged him next, wordlessly. He kissed the top of her forehead and said,
"Thanks, Lu." She beamed up at him before Susan led her out, the door shutting firmly behind them. Peter and Edmund were alone in the room, Edmund standing, Peter not having moved from his place on the bed. Edmund sank down to join him.
"I'm sorry to have not been of any help, Ed," Peter mumbled. Edmund looked at him with surprise.
"What are you on about? You were plenty of help."
"Not really," Peter huffed. "Lucy calmed you down in minutes more than I was able to, and Susan literally asked Aslan to take away all of your trouble and give them to her instead. Not much more that I could do."
"Well…well, yeah. But Pete…" he trailed off.
"Hm?"
"Pete…I was…I was really scared." Peter sighed and put an arm around Edmund as he continued. "And…when I'm really scared like that…Lucy and Susan can't help me near as good as you. I feel a never-ending obligation to watch over them, protect them. I can't very well take care of them when I'm…like that." Peter didn't say anything, waiting for Edmund to go on. "You help, Peter." Edmund yawned. "Honest, you do. I always feel better when you're around because…well, because…" he stopped. "I dunno. You just…you do help."
He's…saying that I make him feel safe, Peter realized. When it's the girls, he can't focus on coming 'round because he's fixed on keeping them safe. But…he means to say that I make him feel safe…oh, Edmund. Peter pulled his brother closer.
"I'll always be here, Ed," he whispered. "I'll always watch over you and the girls. And anything that tries to harm you, Witch or anything else, be damned, will have me to deal with." Edmund gave a quite little chuckle.
"I know, Pete." Then he yawned again. "'M awful tired all of a sudden."
"Get some sleep." Peter stood, pulling Edmund up with him. He pulled the covers back for Edmund, who gratefully fell into bed, pulling them up to his chin. Peter brushed his thumb over the hair on Edmund's forehead before leaning down and kissing it gently. He turned his back to leave the room.
"Love you, Peter," came Edmund's voice from the bed, heavy with exhaustion.
"And I love you. Sleep, brother."
"Mkay." And Peter was certain that Edmund was asleep before he ever shut the door.
To be continued.
A/N: Sorry, lots of dialogue. I really felt the characters take over here and felt it was best to allow the reader a firsthand view of their conversation and processing, rather than to sum it all up with something like, "the rest of the hour was spent in prayer and quiet murmurings until Edmund was calm enough to go to sleep," lol.