"Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat." ~Fran Lebowitz
Chapter 8: Expensive Taste
The door banged shut, and Kabuto awoke with a start. He glanced up to see Shikamaru kicking off his sandals at the door.
"Welcome home," he called from the couch. It was amusing to see the Chunin tense, reaching for his shuriken and whirling around before spotting the intruder and sighing.
"Kabuto? What are you doing here? Where's Kakashi? If he wants me to baby-sit you, he should at least give me a warning…"
"Tsunade didn't tell you?" Kabuto asked, marginally surprised.
"Last I heard, she was sopping drunk," Shikamaru said, "Again."
"I thought she had a hangover," Kabuto said. "That can not be healthy…"
Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm not really in a position to criticize her judgment."
"Or lack thereof," Kabuto added, smirking.
Shikamaru shrugged again. "Whatever. So what is it she didn't tell me?"
"You're my new… guard? Babysitter? Monitor? Whatever. The person who keeps me fed and not dead," Kabuto told him.
All he got in reply was a raised eyebrow.
"No, really," Kabuto insisted.
"So what happened to Kakashi?" Shikamaru asked.
"Just some mission," Kabuto replied. "Apparently I'm not much of a threat, even though I can walk an eighth… never mind."
Shikamaru frowned. "You look bored. And from me, that's saying something, 'cause I always look bored."
"I just finished sleeping my life away because I have nothing better to do. I am unspeakably bored," Kabuto replied. "And hungry. What do you have to eat around here?"
"Um, currently… nothing." Shikamaru said. "So let's kill two birds with one stone and go out to eat- you can have food and you won't be bored."
"Oh gosh, is it always going to be like this, with you catering to my every whim?" Kabuto inquired sarcastically.
"Don't count on it. Anyway, I'm going out to eat. If you don't want to tag along, I can always lock you in a closet somewhere."
Kabuto shrugged. "I might as well come with you then. Anything would be better than sitting on this couch. I think it's broken. I can't feel my… never mind."
"Good, 'cause I really don't want to know," Shikamaru retorted. "Where's your… oh, there it is," he said, grabbing the wheelchair. "We've got to see about getting you out of this thing soon. Wheeling you around is a total drag."
"No argument here," Kabuto responded. "Where were you planning on going to eat?"
"Sushi sound okay?" Shikamaru asked, wheeling the chair over.
Kabuto waved Shikamaru away and ungracefully climbed into the chair himself. "Sushi is fine," he said, grunting as he caught his foot on the chair and nearly knocked it and himself to the floor.
Shikamaru caught the chair and sighed. "Do you have some sort of deep-seated hatred for being helped by people? Or is it a just a love for the floor?"
"More that I don't trust anyone here to help me," Kabuto replied.
"Really? So you don't trust me to steer your wheelchair the right way?"
"I just don't trust you'll steer the wheelchair the exact same way I would steer the wheelchair," Kabuto told him.
"But you do trust I won't steer you off a cliff," Shikamaru pointed out.
"No, it just seems unlikely that you would steer me off a cliff," Kabuto. "I trust my analysis of your character, not you as an individual."
"Sounds troublesome," Shikamaru said, wheeling Kabuto towards the door. "How did you get up the steps? For that matter, how did you get in?"
"Iruka," Kabuto replied.
"How did he find my key? I moved it- for the fifth time, I might add…"
"Some neighbor kid told him where it was."
"Not again… I thought he wasn't watching for sure this time…" Shikamaru groaned, reaching the steps. "Okay, this might be a little rough. Try not to fall out."
"I'll do what I can," Kabuto said, gripping the armrests. The chair bounced down the steps rapidly, and although Kabuto was nearly propelled from the seat several times, by some miracle, he managed to stay in the chair. "Congratulations, I can feel my bruises again," Kabuto grumbled.
"Whatever. At least you didn't fall out and add bruises to the collection," Shikamaru retorted.
Before long, the two were sitting at a revolving sushi bar. Kabuto wrinkled his nose slightly. "I thought you said we were going out for sushi."
"We are. I'm a Chunin, I'm not made of money, you know," Shikamaru reminded him. "Besides, I don't see you offering to pay the bill."
Kabuto shrugged and snagged some salmon nigiri-zushi from the conveyor belt. He broke his connected chopsticks in two and rolled them back and forth a few times to make sure they had no splinters. "Pass the wasabi, please," he said, pouring himself a little soy sauce in a dish.
Shikamaru took some for himself and then handed the container to Kabuto. "You want some tea?"
"And miso soup," Kabuto said.
"You don't ask for much, do you?" Shikamaru inquired wryly.
"Why should I? I have everything I could ever want right here." Kabuto snorted.
Shikamaru frowned. "I was saying-"
"I know what you were saying," Kabuto interrupted. "Don't worry, I'll try and pick mostly inexpensive plates." Even as he said so, he snagged one of the most expensive rolls from the conveyer belt and eyed it appreciatively.
"You know, Kakashi might think you're cool and all, but you're obnoxious," Shikamaru told Kabuto in irritation.
Kabuto choked on his roll. "Excuse me?"
"You're excused," Shikamaru responded, snagging an uramaki-zushi with his chopsticks and plunging it into his soy sauce with a look of irritation.
Kabuto ignored his companion's rudeness and elegantly dipped his futomaki-zushi into his own dish of soy sauce. "Now, what was this you said about Kakashi?"
"Oh, he seems to think you're funny, or smart, or something along those lines," Shikamaru replied. "And how did he put it… oh yes, a 'good kid at heart'."
"I resent being referred to as a 'kid'. I'm nearly twenty years old," Kabuto commented, accepting his bowl of miso soup from the chef. He sipped the soup quietly and sighed. "Ah, that hits the spot. I haven't had decent sushi in…in…awhile," he finished lamely.
Shikamaru helped himself to a few more plates as they passed by. Kabuto finished his soup and eyed the conveyer belt but made no move to take any more.
"You still hungry?" Shikamaru asked Kabuto, who shrugged.
"I'm fine."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, grabbed a plate with unagi nigiri-zushi and plunked it down in front of Kabuto. "Eat," he ordered. "You can't be full after a bowl of miso and two plates."
Kabuto eyed the sushi and poked it with his chopsticks, then proceeded to eat it without glancing at Shikamaru.
Shikamaru grabbed another two plates for himself. "Geez, compared to eating with Chouji, this is pretty cheap," he commented, glancing at Kabuto. "Get something else."
"You do realize I can't pay you back, right?" Kabuto asked, glancing at Shikamaru.
"Um, duh," Shikamaru said, stuffing a sushi roll into his mouth. "You're a prisoner. I don't think they usually give you guys things like pocket money."
Kabuto glanced at the sushi again, and chose another expensive roll.
Shikamaru frowned. "What, are you allergic to plain tuna or something?"
"Well, I am allergic to tuna," Kabuto said.
"Seriously?" Shikamaru demanded.
"No, not seriously. I just like these rolls better." Kabuto replied.
"Of course you do. It's why they're more expensive," Shikamaru replied. "Although, I like the cheap ones…"
"That's because you have to," Kabuto replied. "You're poor, remember?"
"And yet I'm paying for you, the penniless one," Shikamaru reminded him.
Kabuto snagged another expensive roll.
Shikamaru sighed. "Next time, I'm taking you for ramen."
"That might be a good idea," Kabuto agreed, reaching for another expensive roll…
A/N: I was going to merge this with another chapter, but the other chapter was so long that it simply wasn't an option (in my mind). I have some sort of aversion to super-long chapters or something. It's a problem. I'd get counseling for it, but I don't have the time or the money, so you'll just have to deal with my short-chapter syndrome until I find some way to cure myself. (I hear reading some of Kurt Vonnegut's stuff will give you an idea of just how short your chapters could become, and it scares you back to making long chapters again, but that's just a theory...)
じゃ、レビュー が好きですから、レビューをお願いします... ^_^