"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." ~ Henry David Thoreau

Chapter 20: Desperate times...

Meanwhile, Kabuto was sitting in Shikamaru's living room, poking at some food half-heartedly. It might have been because it was instant ramen, but there was more to it than that. Kabuto could feel something darker stirring in the back of his consciousness. He felt anger and pain, ambition and dismay, cunning and hopelessness all tangling restlessly in the back of his mind - it was slowly driving him mad. And still he could show nothing on his face; he would not let anyone see the conflict roiling within his mind. Kabuto poked at the food again, longing to dash it to the floor and shout at it, to destroy something, or kill someone. Anything to release the tension, all the pent-up emotions within him.

Shikamaru walked back into the room for the fifth time in half an hour, watching Kabuto with a look of concern on his face. "You know, if you need to talk to someone..." he said awkwardly, "I'm not the best listener, but I'll do in a pinch."

Kabuto slowly raised his gaze from the instant ramen, biting back a sharp retort. "I'm fine," he hissed, knowing even as the words escaped his mouth that he didn't sound fine, he sounded angry... and he wasn't supposed to be capable of anger with all the drugs he was "taking."

Shikamaru frowned slightly, moving forward, grabbing a chair and dragging it in front of Kabuto, settling down in it and cupping his chin in his hands. "Well?" he said, "I'm listening."

Kabuto blinked at Shikamaru for a moment, longing to stuff the instant ramen up his nose. "Look, no offense, but... I'm not really comfortable sharing anything with you."

Shikamaru sighed, glancing down at his hands. "Kabuto. I know you think of me as an enemy, but... to be honest, I've come to think of you as a friend. Will you do me the honor of thinking likewise?"

Kabuto dropped his ramen, which hit the floor and fanned out, spattering Shikamaru's feet. His cool, dark eyes stared piercingly at the Konoha Chunin for a moment. "No," he said softly, his voice cutting nonetheless. "I won't."

Shikamaru flinched slightly as the ramen hit the floor, and his shoulders slumped at Kabuto's response. He lowered his gaze to the spilled food. "I'll clean that up," he said tiredly, rising and moving for the kitchen.

Kabuto watched him go, then sighed and hung his head, slouching forward and bracing himself by resting his forearms on his knees. He was sick of this place. Sick of these people. Sick of... (guilt?) Kabuto shook his head to rid it of the traitorous thought. Heaving another sigh, he moved his feet away from the mess of food, giving it a dirty look. He didn't care that he'd hurt Shikamaru. He didn't care that the Chunin was suspicious. He didn't care at all.

Not...one...bit.

Two weeks later, Kabuto was still in charge of the interrogations, rather than the other way around. Takeshi was at his wit's end. Not only had Kabuto grown more frustrating and obnoxious by the day, but all of the interrogations

officers knew of his failure to get the traitor to talk about anything of use. He couldn't even walk to Ibiki's office without someone sniggering behind his back. The council was breathing down his neck for information, but all he really knew was that Kabuto was a pathological liar.

He was beginning to grow desperate. He'd combed through every report several times. It seemed that Ibiki was convinced that there was something behind Kabuto's obsession with the Akatsuki. He vaguely recalled Ibiki saying something about Kabuto respecting Orochimaru and having some sort of deep-seated problem with the Akatsuki.

He wasn't sure he completely bought that, but then again, the Akatsuki were pretty messed up, and so he could understand most anyone having some sort of deep-seated problem with the secretive organization.

Suddenly, Takeshi recalled when he'd worked on the team to extract information from the dead body of Hidan. The team had been particularly fascinated in Hidan's many rituals, most of which had been documented in detail and several of which involved the bodies of young, live children. Kabuto had been a child among the Akatsuki, therefore, it was likely that he had probably been involved in a ritual or two at some point during his extended stay.

Takeshi also knew where several members of Hidan's elusive cult were located, as Konoha had contacted them to learn if Hidan was considered an anomaly among his religion or not.

Shockingly, Hidan was considered one of the more mild members of their brotherhood in terms of which rituals he regularly observed. After another fruitless session where Kabuto talked about the tattoo that was misspelled on the left butt cheek of Deidara and the fate of the tattoo parlor which had made the unfortunate mistake, Takeshi decided it was time to try something else. He obviously was unable to see the patterns in Kabuto's rambling like Ibiki was, however, he had other methods and it was time he used them. Yes, they involved physical encounters but he figured that the council was ready for results and they needen't concern themselves with his methods.

With that in mind, he contacted several members of Hidan's cult and asked them if they would be willing to perform an imbibing ritual involving a child. They quickly agreed. Once he learned what supplies they would need and the type of room they required, Takeshi got to work preparing for their arrival. It was about time he got that insufferable brat to open his mouth.

A/N:
So yeah, it's been established that I'm a terrible person who can't update her way out of a wet paper bag. SO VERY SORRY to all the followers who have been hanging from a cliff, I hate to say it but it's not going to get any better... I'm just not organized enough to remember for very long.

also. hope to update soon. haven't written as much as expected. please forgive.

and yes, I've now officially sunk to the level of improper grammar in my author notes by deleting the subject. Perhaps it's a way of avoiding responsibility... anyway, please forgive.

...

Well, I'm really excited about the next few chapters, a hearty thanks to the new followers, a thousand apologies to old followers, and I hope a few of you stick around for the rest of this bumpy ride. :)

Stay tuned! :)