"Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces." ~Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead
Chapter 22: Cannibal Religious Nutjobs
Morino Ibiki was sitting at his desk, poring over paperwork and trying to enjoy a steaming cup of tea while reading the details on a particularly fascinating new method of torture that had been used to pry valuable information from an enemy shinobi. He was just finishing his tea when a knock sounded on the door.
"Enter," he called shortly, hoping it was someone he could order to refill his teacup so he wouldn't have to leave his desk.
An ANBU operative poked his head in the door. "I have the morning reports, sir."
Ibiki glanced at the sun, which was more than just high in the sky. "It's nearly sunset. I thought you said these were morning reports."
"I… had a bit of a delay in completing them," the ANBU explained sheepishly, "I had to escort the freaks down to Interrogation chamber number seven."
Ibiki frowned. "Freaks?" it was a rare occasion for an ANBU to sound disturbed by something he was discussing, but this was one of those occasions.
"Yeah. Some cannibal religious nutjobs," the ANBU said, shrugging. "Takeshi had them brought in."
Ibiki stiffened. "Takeshi? Why?"
"I think he was planning on having them help him with some sort of interrogation. Hence the, uh, Interrogation chamber number seven."
Ibiki scowled. "And you didn't inform me because…?"
"I was told you'd cleared the request," the ANBU answered, frowning. "Was I misinformed?"
"Which prisoner?" Ibiki demanded, already having a very good idea of exactly who Takeshi was entertaining with a bunch of "cannibal religious nutjobs".
"Uh, Yakushi, I think," the ANBU answered. Ibiki was out of there before the ANBU finished speaking. "Um… did you want me to refill you teacup?" The ANBU called after him, then shrugged, depositing the reports on Ibiki's desk before heading out again.
Ibiki stormed down the halls, quickly descending to the interrogation chambers level, skidding to a halt before chamber seven and throwing the door open. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but a blood-soaked prisoner with three demonic figures latched onto him was not one of the images he'd prepared himself for.
"TAKESHI!" he roared, storming into the room. "WHAT THE DEVIL IS HAPPENING IN HERE?!"
Takeshi jumped, dropping his notebook onto a glass of red liquid that splashed out across the floor, "I, I, I was just… I needed… he was… this isn't…"
Ibiki was not in the mood for excuses. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" he roared. "YOU HAVE ENDANGERED—"
"NOOOOOOOO!" Kabuto shrieked, and if Ibiki hadn't heard it with his own ears he never would have believed it was Yakushi making that terrified shriek. He sounded like a child: lost, alone, frightened, hurting, and tormented.
"What are they doing?" Ibiki hissed at Takeshi, already having a pretty good idea of the answer. Without waiting for Takeshi's reply, Ibiki marched across the room, clamped a hand down on the shoulder of the center figure, and flung him away from Kabuto. He then ground his fist into the kidneys of the man on his right, and then kicked the knee of the man on his left before kicking him again.
Muttering obscenities under his breath, Ibiki turned around to the two ANBU guarding the door. "GET THESE FREAKS OUT OF MY SIGHT!" he roared, pointing at the three figures. The ANBU darted forward, quickly dragging the three away. "AND YOU!" Ibiki continued, now shouting at Takeshi, "YOU GET OUT OF MY SIGHT TOO, OR SO HELP ME—" Takeshi fled before Ibiki had a chance to finish his threat.
Now it was just Ibiki, and an obviously distressed Kabuto. The boy was frantically struggling against his restraints, eyes screwed shut, tears pouring down his cheeks as he whimpered softly to himself. Ibiki reached up to release the first restraint, brushing up against Kabuto's arm as he did so.
The boy's eyes flew open, and he seemed more focused and aware than he had moments earlier. "Oh crap, not Ibiki," he whimpered, before his face screwed up in anger. "SO WHAT, DO YOU WANT TO DRINK MY BLOOD TOO?"
Ibiki didn't even dignify that question with an answer, instead releasing Kabuto's left hand. Kabuto's hand immediately clutched at Ibiki's neck, trying to force the Interrogations officer away, or at least strangle him. Ibiki choked slightly at the unexpected pressure, but remained cool and collected. "Kabuto," he grunted. "Calm down."
Kabuto was still shaking in terror. "You want to eat me, they all want to eat me, if they don't want to eat me they want to hurt me and laugh and laugh and watch and it's fun? Is it fun? It isn't fun for me, but that's not my fault, it's not my fault that hurting me is fun."
Ibiki was ready to strangle Takeshi, and not just because his neck was going to be bruised from this kid's iron grip. "Kabuto. It's fine. I'm not going to hurt you."
"I'm supposed to believe that?" Kabuto barked, sounding a bit less hysterical but with a decidedly insane edge to his tone.
"Do I look like I'm threatening you right now?" Ibiki replied.
Kabuto's eyes narrowed slightly. "I don't…"
"Sir? I believe he was drugged," an ANBU said as he re-entered the room after dragging out the three cannibal religious nutjobs. "It seemed to do something to spike his adrenaline levels. He's probably operating on pure fight-or-flight right now."
Ibiki nodded, and slowly reached up to release Kabuto's other arm. "If you want me to unlock your legs, you'll need to let go of my throat," he told Kabuto calmly.
The young man stared at him wide-eyed with terror for a long moment, then released Ibiki's neck. Ibiki knelt, still keeping half an eye on the kid to make sure he didn't try and hit him on the head or something, and quickly released the boy's legs, grimacing at the bloody runes swirling up the ankles and over the knees.
Kabuto stood numbly, feeling weak from blood loss and adrenaline. Ibiki stood next to him. "We need to get you to Konoha hospital."
Kabuto nodded, starting to take a step when the world turned fuzzy and then went black.
Ibiki caught the young boy as he collapsed. He scowled at the blood, which was staining one of his nicer work outfits. He turned to the ANBU. "Get ahold of the Hokage. Tell her I've got an urgent patient coming in."
The ANBU nodded once, and vanished.
Ibiki hefted Kabuto in his arms and headed for Konoha Hospital.
By the time Ibiki arrived, Tsunade was waiting outside with a thunderous look on her face. "THIS ISN'T YOUR CASE!" she roared.
"THAT'S WHY HE LOOKS LIKE THIS!" Ibiki yelled back, practically throwing Kabuto at the Godaime.
Tsunade was immediately all business, bustling Kabuto into the hospital and muttering angrily under her breath. "Stay here," she ordered, "I want a full report when I get back. This shouldn't take long."
"He's on some sort of drugs," Ibiki volunteered as she headed down the hallway.
Tsunade stopped dead in her tracks. "With the medication he's on? They gave him drugs?" her voice gave every indication that someone was about to get fired.
"Let me remind you that I just found him like this," Ibiki said. "I'll go interrogate a few people and figure out exactly what happened."
Tsunade scowled. "Well, since we have to deal with those drugs, it might take a bit longer than I originally anticipated, so as long as you're back here within the next hour, I won't have to send someone after you and drag you back here. That would be a complete waste of time."
Ibiki nodded, and headed off. He had an interrogation room with Takeshi's name written all over it.
An ANBU, who had witnessed the exchange, turned to Tsunade. "Wait, did he say 'interrogate' a few people?"
Tsunade shrugged. "This kid's more important than all of our interrogations officers. Ibiki won't damage his fellow officers…too much."
The ANBU nodded ever-so-slightly, and Tsunade moved on from the general ward to the intensive care unit of Konoha Hospital.
Ibiki burst into Takeshi's office, and extended a hand at him. "Hand them over," he said.
Takeshi frowned. "Wait, what?"
Ibiki continued to stare dispassionately at the Interrogations officer. "Your notes," he elaborated. "Hand them over. I need to know what happened to Yakushi and how he responded."
"You can't just barge in here and steal my notes! It's not your case!" Takeshi barked in frustration.
"It's not your case either, after the stunt you just pulled. So hand them over or I might just pin you to a wall and see how you like it."
Takeshi scowled, and then reluctantly handed over a notebook with purple stains on the edges of the pages. "It's not blood," he told Ibiki.
"I know what blood stains look like, you moron," Ibiki responded, taking the notebook and then whirling around. "Now, where are those cannibal religious nutjobs?"
Takeshi had no idea. Fortunately, Ibiki wan't asking him but the ANBU down the hall. "They were just leaving," he told Ibiki.
"Detain them!" Ibiki snarled. "I have some questions for them that they had better know the answers to."
The ANBU nodded and trotted off.
Shizune was poring over the blood sample taken from Yakushi Kabuto, attempting to discern what the properties of the psychoactive drug were so that she could counteract them and get his heart rate back down to a safe level without resorting to even more drugs.
Just then, the door to her lab swung open and Hatake Kakashi sauntered in. "Hey," he said, holding up a hand with a needle sticking into the back of his hand. "So, I brought a sample of this poison they're using in Grass…"
Shizune glanced up with irritation. "Did you have to get it that way?"
"Well, I did wait until after I'd completed the other tasks in my mission so I could rush back," Kakashi said, sounding petulant. "Besides, the Godaime told me to get it using this supposedly tried-and-true method. I did have a medical team on standby should it have been too strong for me."
"I think she was drinking when she drew up those particular orders," Shizune said with a disgruntled look. "Let's get that sample and start treating you before kyou keel over on us."
Kakashi smirked. "Sounds like a plan," he said, settling down on a stool near Shizune and extending the hand with the needle still lodged in it.
Just then, a large group of doctors rushed past the door. Another group followed not much later, and some very frustrated shouting could be heard from down the hall. Kakashi recognized Tsunade's bellowing without much trouble. "So, the herd is on the move. What caused the stampede this time?" he prompted.
Shizune frowned. "Herd?"
"Of doctors," Kakashi explained with a pitying look. "You know they travel in herds to protect themselves from outsiders."
Shizune fixed a disgusted look on Kakashi. "I could just not develop an antidote for that poison, you know."
"But you will, because who else would go on a poison-collecting mission for you after I died from it?"
Shizune scowled. "Well, I guess—"
Kakashi interrupted again ."And who would be your partner-in-crime when you need a place to hide Tsunade's sake?"
Shizune scowled, pulling out a small syringe and a rubber strip. "Give me your arm," she said, and began the preparations to draw blood. "Make a fist."
Kakashi complied. "Seriously though, what's with all the action?" he asked as she drew the blood and started separating out the samples to analyze.
"Ah, some moron down in interrogations caused Yakushi some damage," Shizune said, proceeding to explain what had taken place.
Kakashi listened with interest as she continued running tests. "This is a fairly straightforward poison," Shizune said after a moment. "I'll have an antidote within the next half hour."
"Do I have to stay here until then?" Kakashi asked, sounding bored.
"Just stay in the hospital and I'll have some ANBU find you," Shizune replied.
A/N: So hey, guess who failed to update in a timely manner yet again...? Haha, whoops. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with this story so far, and I hope you continue to enjoy where the story goes from here. Stay tuned!