Anne
Although her bruised body ached with fatigue, she could not sleep. She could still taste the bitter draught that Constance had given her, and she felt ill.
To her surprise, she did not feel anything else. There was no sadness or anger left. Only emptiness.
She lay on the bed, her eyes open. Constance had insisted that she should rest, but she could not sleep. Some sort of nervous energy was preventing her from sleeping, and she knew she needed to act. Still, she had no idea what she should do.
Constance entered the room.
"Anne?" she whispered.
The Queen struggled against the temptation to remain silent. The redhead's voice was low, suggesting that she did not want to wake the queen if she was asleep.
"Yes?" she answered, and slowly sat up.
"What are you doing?" Constance asked, a confused expression on her face.
"I am not going to sleep while Rochefort is plotting against me," she said firmly. "Do you think I can talk to Treville now?"
Anne did not want the man to overexert himself, but she felt that she could not wait any longer.
"I believe he is awake," Constance replied.
"Have they returned?" Anne asked quietly, fear coloring her voice.
I need to know that Aramis is safe….although I doubt I could bear his presence. Rochefort has finally won. He has taken my love from me.
"No…" Constance tried to sound brave, but even in the dim light, the anguish in her eyes betrayed her.
Anne shivered. "They'll come back. They are the best and most loyal men in France."
Aramis… I need to talk to you. I'll escape the moment I see you…
Anne stood up and smoothed Constance's dress. It felt odd to wear a garment that was so modest and simple.
"Do you have a spare dagger?" She asked. "I'd feel better if I had one."
Because then I will be secure in the knowledge I have the ability to prevent my capture by killing myself.
"I do," Constance answered softly. "I'll strap it on for you." Anne tried not to stiffen when she felt her friend's touch on her leg.
It's Constance. She won't hurt me.
But everything in her screamed to run away.
"I don't think it will be possible for me to just act normally. I won't be able to pretend that nothing happened," she whispered, feeling fear starting to overwhelm her.
"Louis is not the most perceptive of men.,. and the others will say nothing," Constance replied softly.
"I should be honest with my husband…"
Although after I slept with Aramis, such a thought never occurred to me… how strange.
"Whatever you decide, I'll stay with you," said Constance simply.
I don't deserve your friendship.
When her friend withdrew, Anne trembled.
They went to see Treville. Constance knocked at the door. It was immediately opened by Christian, who stood ready to defend his Captain. He bowed deeply.
I do not deserve your respect. I was taken like a drunk whore by a man whom I trusted.
She entered, and saw that Treville was struggling to get out of bed. She gestured for him to stay put.
"Captain, I think I should go to Paris as soon as possible. We cannot afford to give Rochefort time to present his lies to the King."
"We'll set off at dawn," he replied.
"Are you sure you will be able to ride?" Anne asked worriedly. Even wrapped up in her own nervous energy, Anne could not ignore Treville's pallor.
"I am needed in Paris," he replied slowly. "God did not spare my life in order for me to lie in bed. I'll be ready at dawn, Your Majesty. However, we must take into consideration that we may arrive after Rochefort. What do you plan to do?"
She gulped. She could not imagine seeing him again. The mere thought made her feel lightheaded, and she swayed.
She was vaguely aware that Constance had steered her over to an armchair. Her fingernails dug into her friend's hand, and she could not fight the tremors which took hold of her body.
All she wanted to do was to curl up and forget about the world.
Not to exist…
No. He'll kill my son. I cannot surrender. Not when his life is in danger.
"Captain…" she said, her voice trembling. She was grateful that the officer did not suggest that they continue the conversation at some other time.
"I have decided to tell my husband the truth. I'll tell him that I was kidnapped by the True Musketeers. If he asks about the time that I spent as their captive, I will tell him that I was unconscious most of the time. Do you think I should mention Rochefort's involvement?"
"The King probably wouldn't believe you if you did. You were drugged. We can pretend that you have no idea that Rochefort was involved. If we beat him back to Paris, that may give us time to find some evidence against him. However, if he is already back, you will be in great danger. If I am able to meet with the King alone to tell him of our suspicions, that may be a better time discuss Rochefort."
"Do you think Athos and the others searched the camp?"
"Even if they did, it is hardly likely that they found anything of importance. But there must some place where Rochefort meets with his men. A place where he will not be recognized…."
Constance spoke up. "Perhaps a craftsman's shop-a seamstress...or a gunsmith or an armorer. A person who has many customers coming and going all day long. If he takes care to hide his identity, he would be very difficult to recognize."
Treville inclined his head towards Constance. "You're a true treasure, Madame!" He sighed. "At least in Paris we can conduct an investigation. There is nothing we can do here."
"Captain, do you think that Athos and his men will return?" Anne needed to know what Treville thought.
"Even if Athos and d'Artagnan are overwhelmed by grief, Morineau will bring them back. My guess is that they are tracking down Aramis and Porthos...or figuring out how to free them. They'll come back."
Probably with Aramis' body.
I cannot lose him...not when I need him so much.
But there is nothing he can do for me.
Will he still love me when he realizes that I am tainted?
The Aramis you knew died.
Athos' words still rang in her ears.
Am I dead?
Should I be dead?
Am I truly a whore, as I am able to carry on after all that has happened?
Anne withdrew in order to give Captain the opportunity to rest.
She sat on the bed, shivering. She felt cold and numb.
What should I feel?
The Queen was surprised when she woke up. She had been so sure she would not be able to sleep.
A familiar shadow was standing near the door.
"Aramis?" she breathed, not certain if she wanted to lean into his arms or to run away.
"Anne." He gave her a tired smile. His eyes were so empty.
"I am so sorry…" She was trembling. She needed his forgiveness... she needed his understanding.
"I thought I was someone special-your only lover. You've disappointed me, Ana."
"Aramis, listen to me! I never wanted to…" she could not say the words, and choked "-with Rochefort. You have to believe me! I never consented!" She was crying.
Aramis' gaze was hard and bitter.
He came nearer to her. She took a step back, suddenly afraid.
Aramis caught her arm, his other hand cupping her face. He crushed his mouth to hers in a hard, angry kiss.
She wanted to escape.
She wanted to slap him.
She wanted to melt into his kiss.
She froze when his tongue found its way into her mouth.
No, no…. Aramis wouldn't force himself on me.
But when she opened her eyes, she saw Rochefort's face.
Her scream woke her up. Constance was at her side.
Anne curled up into a ball, tears and sweat mixing on her face. Then she vomited.
Constance gently wiped her face with a cold rag. The Queen waited for the nausea to abate, then slowly got up.
"We are leaving in an hour," Constance told her.
Anne nodded absentmindedly.
What if my nausea is due to pregnancy, not a nightmare?!
She took the bottle that Constance had given her, and desperately drank from it.
I cannot be pregnant by this traitor! I cannot!
She had no idea how she had managed to dress and get to the stables. Constance was at her side. Anne decided that she would ride alone, and the musketeers did not protest.
She felt a stab of guilt when she saw how pale Treville was. He was clearly hurting when they rode out.
Anne tried to focus on her mount, but she had been given a docile, well trained mare. Riding was not challenging enough to keep her attention for long.
The musketeers were mostly silent. Occasionally the scouts rode back to the main group, and gave a quick report.
She was surprised when they stopped for a respite. Constance helped her to dismount. The aching of her body was merciless, and she nearly fainted when her feet touched the ground.
Constance led her to a cot, and gave her something hot to drink. Without thinking, she put the hot goblet to her cramping stomach. The heat helped to ease her pain a bit.
One look at her friend told Constance all she needed to know. "You took more of the medicine."
"I fear…"
"I know…" Constance squeezed her hand.
Anne leaned into her touch for just a moment, then pulled away. Constance remained silent.
They set off once again. She lost count of the stops, which were either too short or too long. She dreamt of a long rest, but at the same time, she could not bear to lose any more time. She could not find any hope in her heart, and felt as every second they lost was leading to her end.
Suddenly, they stopped in the middle of the road. The scouts had returned with another rider, and the stranger was talking to Treville. The Captain motioned for Constance to approach, and Anne went with her.
Treville's face was grave. "Rochefort has reached Paris."
"What do we do now?" Constance asked.
The stranger spoke. "I have a plan." She lifted the hood on her cloak, and Anne found herself looking Milady's green eyes.