Here's words.

Kara was glad she had plans for on Saturday, because she didn't know how she would have made it through the day otherwise.

She ran to Walmart to pick up a birthday gift for Alex after dropping off Lena. Her sister's birthday was that day, and she'd been invited to dinner with her, her girlfriend Kelly, and Kelly's brother who happened to be Kara's friend from work, James.

But it wasn't even noon when Kara got back with the board game she'd bought, and it took her no time to wrap. Then she didn't know what to do with the rest of her day until dinner.

Normally when something major in her life happened, Alex was the first person Kara told. And she thought sleeping with her celebrity crush warranted a conversation with her sister—who was also her best friend, lame as that was. Yet she wasn't even able to do that because she'd promised Lena she wouldn't tell anyone about her being gay. And admitting she'd been inside of the actress would definitely out her.

So as much as she wanted to go straight to her sister's apartment and tell her everything from start to finish, she knew she couldn't. She couldn't betray Lena's trust like that. Not to mention Kelly was taking Alex out for her birthday just the two of them before meeting Kara and James at the restaurant later, so she wasn't even home.

No, Kara would have to deal with this on her own.

But her apartment was too empty, too still compared to how it had been the previous night and that morning—with Lena around to light up every room she walked into. Every time Kara looked up, she kept wishing to see Lena sitting there next to her on the couch.

She tried to watch Netflix, but no show seemed right, and Hulu didn't have much better options. Eventually she just put on an unsolved mysteries show she'd started and never finished, but even the creepy tale of the Axeman Murderer of New Orleans did little to keep her mind from wandering to the youngest Luthor.

Every time she blinked, she saw flashes of emerald eyes, pale skin, that cocky little eyebrow quirk she wasn't even sure Lena was aware she did. It was so stupid, the fact that they'd only spent twelve hours of real time together, yet she was sitting there missing Lena as if they'd known each other for years and had been apart for months rather than a few hours.

She shouldn't have been feeling so much heartache over someone she barely knew. And she tried to tell herself it was all just her own stupidity. That's she'd done the thing she criticized civilians over time and time again—built up an idea of a celebrity in her head, and when she was met with the real thing, she fell in faux-love with her.

Of course, she didn't know Lena. But she'd watched most of her body of work, seen interviews, and had manufactured an idea of who she was in her head. That idea was then projected onto the real Lena, and that was why Kara felt a weird familiarity with her. She'd daydreamed about something like that night happening before. That was why when it presented itself, she gave in so easily.

Kara wasn't the type of person to just jump into bed with someone. She never had been. Sex without feelings was never appealing to her, as the few times she'd tried she'd gotten so little out of it she knew there was no point in trying ever again if a physical and emotional attraction wasn't present. Therefore, before Lena it had been—fuck, she couldn't even remember how long it had actually been.

It was no wonder this didn't happen more often since she was sitting there obsessing over the first woman to pay attention to her in way too damn long. But this wasn't like the other women. This wasn't just some girl who was nice to her on set a couple of times or a pretty girl that smiled at her from across the café and made her heart skip a beat.

This was Lena, who was once a fantasy, then became a reality. Lena who dug her nails into her back so hard as she came a second time around Kara's fingers that the blonde now had tiny half-moon marks across her skin. Lena who had screamed Kara's name so loudly she was certain the neighbors had heard. Lena whose scent was still in her sheets when she tried to lie down, and who she'd tried to take a nap to forget.

Lena, Lena, Lena…

Being in her bed only made it worse because she thought of all the things that had happened in it the night before, and suddenly it felt too cold and lonely and the sheets smelled too much of a dark-haired woman who was entirely too far away—because anywhere that wasn't next to her wasn't close enough.

So, she got back up and immediately pulled the sheets from the bed, comforter and all. She bundled them up and shoved them in the laundry basket, then brought the load to the laundry room outside.

Her house was built up, but the laundry room was ground-level. It didn't appear to have originally been part of the house, instead added like an after-thought. The structure itself wasn't insulated, the walls didn't have drywall, the floor was concrete, and the roof was tin rather than shingles like the rest of the house. It wasn't very big, but there was enough room for Kara to fit her washer and dryer, a small shelf with cleaning supplies, and a blue BMX bike.

As she put her clothes to wash, she glanced over at the bike, wishing it wasn't so hot out. She would have liked to have gone for a ride just to do something, maybe even clear her head. But the heat index was pushing a hundred, and she didn't want to spend more time outside in the sun than she needed to—she did that enough during the week at work. It was a shame, too. The bike had hardly been used since she'd purchased it.

She used to live with her sister until Alex finally moved in with Kelly, and Kara had moved from the two bedroom they shared to a somewhat smaller, more moderately priced house in a different part of the city. Her new house was in a safer neighborhood, close to a park, and had outside storage her last home hadn't.

When she moved into her house in April the weather had been nice, and she'd bought a bike one afternoon on a whim just because she felt like going for a ride. But she'd gotten to ride it all of once before her next show started, and then she was busy until the nice, spring weather was gone, and the summer heat started to edge back in. She hadn't touched it since. And unfortunately, that day would not be the day that changed. Even being in the unairconditioned laundry room for less than a minute was too hot and causing a layer of sweat to appear on her skin.

And as she replaced the laundry detergent back onto the shelf and gazed among the other cleaners, she knew the perfect way to occupy her day until it was time to go dinner. Nia would have been proud because she was going to clean until her house was spotless, and then maybe—hopefully—her mind would be, too.

By the time Kara pulled into the Merlin's parking lot she'd successfully cleaned her entire house, made her bed, washed and folded all her laundry, and even caught up on episodes of a trashy reality show she liked and had been unable to watch during the week. Yet Lena was still present in the forefront of her mind, and she was thankful to finally be around other people so she would be forced to focus on the conversation at hand instead of the brunette starlet who hijacked her every thought.

She went inside, gift tucked under her arm, and immediately saw James already sitting at a table off to the side. Even sitting, James was larger than every other person in the room. He was well over six feet, with broad shoulders, and his booming voice seemed to command attention.

"'Sup, bud?" she said as she got to the table, dropping the gift on the side of the chair she intended to take.

"Hey," James said with a smile, standing from his chair to give her a hug. When they pulled away, he regarded her for a second. "You look much more rested than the last time I saw you."

"Oh, I am," Kara said as they both took their seats. She let out a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know where the hell you found Sam, but she's fucking amazing, and I owe you a drink." She picked up the drink menu from the table and handed it to him. "You want a drink? Here. Seriously."

James laughed and took the menu from her. "You know, I will take you up on that." He smirked as he flipped the menu over to look at the beers they had on tap at the bar. James was a big beer guy. For Christmas Kara had gotten him a box with nine different beers from countries across the globe. He'd loved it and saved a couple of the bottles he thought were interesting. "I noticed you guys were more on it yesterday."

"Dude, it's amazing the difference a decent assistant can make," Kara said, shaking her head. "Sam showed up, we got set up in under an hour while Nia cleaned the trailer, and then just coasted for the rest of the day. It was the first day that I felt like I actually succeeded on this show."

"So being key's a little rougher than expected?" James asked with raised eyebrows.

James knew her plight better than anyone. After all, before she'd been Clark's right-hand that had been James. He'd once been in Kara's shoes. He was the whole reason she was where she was that day. Before James got her on with Clark she'd been lost and simply dreaming of working in film. It was all about who you knew, and she didn't know many people.

She'd been really lucky when Alex started dating Kelly, thus introducing her to James. She was still working at the coffee shop at the time, hating every second of it. It had been James who told her that if she wanted to work in film, she needed to get out of the coffee shop and start hustling to get jobs— that if she did, he would pass her name along.

And not long after she quit, she was on set with him for a day that Clark had to take off. It was his first time keying for Clark in the two years he'd worked with him, and it was only for one day. But James was nervous and didn't care for the experience. Kara believed that was the turning point for him, when he finally decided he'd had enough of crafty and wanted to switch over to electric. The next show was James's last with Clark, and then Kara took over.

"I knew it was going to be rough. I'd keyed a little bit before," Kara said, opening the food menu in front of her so she could start looking it over. "I just didn't expect it to be that bad, and it didn't have to be. Once I got rid of Siobhan the majority of my problems magically vanished."

"Yeah, she sucked," James agreed with a frown. "I was surprised when you hired her, but I didn't want to say anything." He looked to her sympathetically. "You're not the first person to fire her, you know? She gets fired a lot."

Kara's eyes widened, and she fixed him with a hard look. "Why the fuck wouldn't you have said anything about that?"

"I haven't seen you in a while," James explained. "I didn't know you hired her until I saw her on set. By then it was too late."

"Fair," Kara said, though she still frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. James was right. He'd been working a show and then jumped right into prep for Puppy Love, so it had been well over a month since the last time they'd hung out. And though they'd become close friends over the years, they didn't text each other with every single life update when they went stretches without seeing each other.

"But you have Sam now," James said. "She's sticking around for the rest of the show, right?"

"Yes." She nodded enthusiastically. "I snatched her up, and I'm actually excited for the rest of this show going forward." She smiled at that, then she remembered that she would also be seeing Lena every day and not be able to touch her, and the smile faded.

But James didn't notice because at that moment the waitress came up to take their drink orders, James ordering a lager and Kara just a Sprite. She also ordered Alex a Blue Moon for when she got there and an Appletini for Kelly because she was feeling generous.

Alex and Kelly showed up as the drinks arrived at the table, and Alex lit up as Kara handed her the gift. After they took their seats, she began to unwrap it, laughing when it was revealed that Kara had gotten her the Operation board game.

"I love it," her sister said with a bright smile.

When they were kids Alex wanted to be a doctor. Operation was her favorite game, and she played it obsessively, forcing Kara to join in. She thought it was a valuable training tool to gain steady hands if she wanted to be a surgeon. She'd make Kara time her with a stopwatch to see how quickly she could get the pieces out without hitting the sides, making her start over if she messed up. Eventually she could get all the pieces out perfectly in under two minutes, and then once she mastered it, she'd gotten bored.

But last Christmas when they'd been home for the holiday Alex had gotten drunk and wanted to play, but when they dug the game out of the closet they were disheartened to find out that not only were pieces now mysteriously missing, but the batteries had corroded in the back and effectively ruined the entire game. She'd already gotten Alex a gift that year, so she stowed the idea away, and she was glad she had.

"I figured maybe you could bring it to school, too, for your students," Kara said.

Though Alex had decided not to become a doctor somewhere along the way, she still loved science and biology. So she decided to become a teacher instead, and she taught Biology as National City High.

"I'm not bringing this to school," Alex said, holding the box close to her chest protectively. "Those little assholes will lose the pieces for sure." She nodded her head to her girlfriend seated next to her. "Kelly and I'll play."

"Kelly hates Operation," James said, taking a sip of his beer.

"No, I hate playing Operation with you," Kelly said, narrowing her eyes at her brother. "You used to get mad when you lost and made me keep playing over and over again until I just let you win so I could go do something else."

"That's not how I remember it at all," James said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You never let me win."

"Sure I didn't," Kelly said casually, picking up her Appletini and taking a sip, staring at James over the rim.

"Alex never let me win. Not once," Kara said, glaring at her own sibling. "She's extremely competitive and obnoxiously good at everything. I never stood a chance."

"I was building your character," Alex said as she placed the game on the ground next to her feet. "You should be thanking me."

"Uh huh," Kara deadpanned. She looked over her shoulder. "Where is the waitress so we can order? I can't stand you."

"I love you," Alex cooed, reaching across the table and grabbing Kara's hand. She batted her eyelashes and smiled cheekily.

Kara's resolve crumbled, and she grinned back. "I love you, too, even if you're kind of a bitch sometimes."

"You can't call her a bitch on her birthday," James pointed out.

"I do what I want," Kara shot back.

Thankfully Kara was able to make it through dinner without thinking of Lena much. It was nice to spend time with some of her favorite people, a much-needed escape from the bullshit that had been going on at work and in her personal life.

On Sunday she slept in, then went to the store and got a couple of things they needed for the next day. Thankfully she'd been able to catch up on most of her paperwork on Friday, so all she needed to do was enter in a couple of receipts and tape up a few more. Then she had the rest of the day to herself.

The problem was she didn't know what to do, so instead of doing anything productive she just played The Sims for seven hours. The way she saw it, playing The Sims was therapy—self-care. Mostly because she genuinely believed it helped with her anxiety, which was mostly based on her obsessive need to feel in control. And, unfortunately, much of her life was out of her control at the moment.

Sure, she was the boss of her department, but that didn't mean anything to the film as a whole. Everything else about the job was completely at the mercy of production. If the day was getting late and she wanted to go home, that didn't matter. They were going to film until they were done. It was chaotic and stressful. Sometimes she missed the days when she would know her schedule weeks in advance and be able to have the peace of mind that her shift had designated hours so that she knew when she would go in and leave.

In film that was never certain. Things changed on a dime, and she never knew how long of a day she was walking into. It was enough to stress anyone out, especially someone who already struggled to keep their anxiety in check. And since she had no time to go to therapy, she figured The Sims was the next best thing.

So she played that until she knew she had to go to bed in order to not be a zombie the next day, and when she lay down her mind went straight back to Lena until her medicine kicked in and pulled her under.

Then the next morning she hit snooze on her alarm several times and got up so late that she didn't have time to think of Lena as she rushed out the door and started making her way across the city to the location. They were filming at a pet shop in a shopping center near the river, and thankfully production had reserved much of the parking lot for working trucks, so she was able to get a sweet spot not far from the entrance.

There were a few shots outside to start, so the girls got out the pop-up tent for shade and started setting up right outside of the trailer since most of crew was around them at their trucks anyway. It was by-far the easiest setup they'd done thus far, and after only a half hour Kara sent Nia to the store for more supplies because everything was perfect and beautiful.

And the basecamp and her ice trailer were in the same location, so she didn't have to drive away to stock their coolers or grab ice for hers. She just walked over and stocked them while Sam kept making coffee on set, and then she was back not even five minutes later.

Then they went in the trailer to enjoy the air conditioning and decided to start prep on the first pass-around since they were so far ahead. It wasn't anything special—just a tray with salami, cheeses, and crackers and a second tray of chopped veggies and hummus. Kara wanted to use some of the stuff they already had on-hand to save some money as they were already insanely over budget because of drinks and ice (just as she'd predicted would happen).

Sam got out some foil pans, two cutting boards, and knives while Kara went in a cooler outside and found everything they needed. As Sam washed the veggies in the sink, Kara connected her phone to the radio and started music, always enjoying her work more if she had music in the background. She hummed a few bars to a song by The Script as they set to work.

"So, are you excited for your baby's first holidays, like Halloween and Christmas?" Kara asked conversationally as she cut into a hunk of cheese, glad there were no immature crew members around to joke about her "cutting cheese."

"Well, she was born right before Christmas, so this will be her second one," Sam said, pulling at the gloves on her hands before chopping the celery. "But Halloween, yes. I am so excited."

"Do you have costumes picked out yet?" Kara asked with a smile. Halloween was her favorite holiday, and she had her costume picked out months in advance usually.

Sam looked at her, smiling as well. "I'm really glad you asked that," she said. "Yes, I do. I'm going to be Dorothy, and she's going to be Toto."

Kara paused, knife hovering above the block of gouda. "From The Wizard of Oz?"

"Yeah."

"That's Kara's favorite movie," came a voice from the door of the trailer.

Kara whipped around to see Lena standing in the doorway, her face going red at Lena appearing without warning. She suddenly felt self-conscious and put down the knife and took her gloves off before pulling at her sleeveless t-shirt awkwardly.

"Lena, hey," she said, her voice a slight octave higher than normal. "Need something?"

"No," Lena said, shaking her head as she stepped into the trailer. "I just hadn't seen inside this thing yet and was interested. Thought I'd come check it out." She smiled apprehensively, glancing briefly over the exposed muscles of Kara's arms before turning her attention to the trailer's features. "It's…nice."

"Uh, I think you're being nice," Kara said, gazing around the trailer herself with a frown.

It admittedly wasn't in the best condition. Parts of it were falling apart and supporting beams bad been added instead of replacing the broken, rotting pieces. The floor was slanting, and the back of the trailer was completely sinking, and Kara was honestly waiting for the day she stepped back there and fell through. It was janky and old, but it mostly got the job done despite its faults.

"No, I'm not." Lena bit her lip to hold back a laugh. "It's… Uh… Charming."

"Not the word I would use, but thank you for saying so," Kara said as she leaned against the counter. She nodded her head towards Sam. "We were just talking about Halloween. Do you have a costume planned yet?"

Lena shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the next. "Not really. I don't dress up and go out or do anything," she admitted. "I'm usually working, and if I'm not I just stay home and watch horror movies by myself." She gave a self-depreciating laugh. "Not very exciting."

"What about you, Kara?" Sam asked, placing the celery she'd chopped in one of the foil pans they'd set out. "Do you know what you're gonna be?"

Kara gave a wide smile. "Supergirl. Already got my costume."

Sam rolled her eyes. "You're such a loser."

"I think it's great," Lena said. "After all, it's your nickname."

"Your nickname is Supergirl?" Sam asked, pausing in her prep work to smirk at Kara. "Did you give yourself that nickname?"

"Other people on set started calling me that because I'm strong, Sam," Kara shot back playfully and held her arms up and flexed her muscles. "See, look."

Sam merely glanced at Kara's biceps and rolled her eyes as she moved onto chopping up peppers. Lena, on the other hand, couldn't take her eyes off the toned, taught muscles until Kara stopped flexing. Then she was caught staring by the blonde, and she ducked her head to hide a blush.

"Well, cool trailer," she said, scuffing the toe of her wardrobe boot against one of the black mats covering the white and black, tiled floor. "I should probably get back to set."

Kara nodded. "I'll make sure to stop by your chair. Do you like cheese?" She gestured to the block she'd abandoned the moment Lena appeared.

"Ain't no one getting cheese if you don't stop talking and finish cutting it," Sam said, jabbing her in the ribs with her elbow.

Lena laughed and playfully said, "Yeah, Kara, stop getting distracted and do your job."

Kara's face went red and she looked back and forth between the two of them. "Say the people talking to me and distracting me."

"I'm leaving," Lena said, holding up her hands as she left the trailer.

Kara watched her go, trying to keep her face neutral so Sam wouldn't see her obviously pining. But Sam flicked her on the ear, and she let out a yelp and turned to the younger woman, wide-eyed.

"Stop staring after that pretty lady and chop." The brunette picked up Kara's abandoned knife and put in back in her hand.

Lena really, really, really needed Kara to stop wearing sleeveless shirts. Monday Kara flexed in front of her, and then she spent the rest of the day staring at the blonde's arms longingly every time she saw her. Then Tuesday she wore another sleeveless shirt, this one an old National City University t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. And Wednesday she wore a grey Midvale High shirt of the same fashion.

Lena was on her way to crafty when she saw Kara there, carrying two cases of water stacked on top of each other. It appeared to be nearly effortless to her, yet her arm muscles were taught and obvious under the strain, and Lena actually turned herself around and went right back to her chair because she was so flustered.

She didn't think Kara was the type of person to deliberately torture her, but she wondered if Kara's new fascination with showing off her arms had anything to do with catching her staring the other day. Was Kara purposefully making it so that it was hard for Lena to not look at her? Because if so, it was working. And as much as she cursed the blonde for being so tempting, the more she had to actively keep herself from going to crafty for no reason other than to see Kara. It had been like that since the beginning, but now it was worse. Now she knew what she was missing.

On Thursday she made a point to not go to crafty at all. She had Jess get her coffee and a banana in the morning. Then when she saw Kara coming with a tray of food she asked Jess just to make her a little plate of whatever it was and ran to the portable toilets (or P-Mo) outside of set. She didn't even have to go. She just washed her hands and checked her email on her phone until she was sure Kara would be gone by the time she got back to her chair.

By lunch she hadn't spoken to Kara once, and since she ate in her trailer, she didn't see her at the meal, either. But lunch wasn't spectacular, and she hardly touched it. By the time a second pass-around from crafty was expected she was starving and decided to bite the bullet and face Kara if she came around with food.

But then she had a significant break between scenes and was sent back to her trailer to wait instead of staying on set and baking in the heat. They were filming at a park that day and the next, and while it was a beautiful park, the summer heat was no joke, and filming outside was awful.

She was so hungry that she was considering ordering food for Jess to go pick up since she knew by the time she got back the crafty pass would be done, and snack food from the setup wouldn't suffice. She was about to grab her phone and look up places to order from when she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in," Lena said. The door opened and instead of Jess, like Lena had expected, Kara walked in instead, closing the door behind her. Lena blinked in surprise, sitting up straighter on the couch that came with her trailer. "Oh, hey," she said dumbfoundedly.

"Hey," Kara said shyly. "I brought you a snack." She held up a plastic bag with a sandwich inside.

"Are you talking about the sandwich or yourself?" Lena asked, the question leaving her mouth before her brain had a chance to stop her, and Kara's shocked face made Lena's burn with embarrassment. "I'm sorry—That was—I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine," Kara said quickly, then cleared her throat as she held out the sandwich for Lena to take. "You just missed our pass, and lunch was shit. Also, I haven't seen you at the setup at all, and I remembered sometimes you forget to eat, so I figured you might be hungry. So, I made you this. It's just turkey on wheat with some cheese, lettuce, and mayo. I didn't know what you like." She paused to take a breath, then gave a small laugh. "Now I'm sorry. For rambling. Like always."

"Don't be," Lena said as she took the sandwich. "Thanks for this. It's really sweet." And needed because she felt her stomach growl then.

"No problem," she said, shoving her hands in her pockets as she eyed Lena carefully. "I haven't seen much of you since you came into the trailer the other day. I'm starting to think you're avoiding me."

Lena saw the subtle hurt on her face and had to look away because guilt started to rise in her chest. "No, I'm just… Busy. Trying to keep up with learning my lines and all," she lied.

But Kara nodded, seeming to accept it. "Well, if you need a drink to wind down after this week, we were talking about going out again tomorrow after work." Lena's head shot up at that, her eyes questioning, so Kara quickly added, "I made Sam pinky promise she would come this time, and I'm working on convincing Nia, so there should be more people." She shrugged. "If you wanted to grab a drink with friends."

Friends. The word bounced around Lena's brain as Kara stared at her expectantly for an answer. That word made her feel lower than any curse or insult she'd ever received. But she just kicked her acting skills into high gear and plastered on a smile.

"Okay, let me know what you all decide tomorrow," she said, even though she probably should have said no. Probably shouldn't have continued to play into the charade that she was capable of being Kara's friend.

But the thing was… She just couldn't, couldn't say no to Kara when she was sitting there, face-to-face with her and staring into those crystal blue eyes. And the smile she got in response to the accepted invitation was worth risking falling deeper into the vortex that was Kara Danvers.

You are welcome for words