Magnus liked to read, so when he heard that there was a book club, he joined it. He was a simple man like that, sometimes. This was the very first session, and they had decided to read Wuthering Heights, by Emily Brontë (a book which your loving narrator absolutely hates, but I'll try to not go on a rant). Magnus didn't quite like it, but thought it was alright. He arrived at the room in which the book club took place, and was surprised to see that there were couches with soft cushions everywhere. In the middle of the room stood a small coffee table, and a few people were already seated on the sofas. Magnus sat down next to the only other girl he knew, which was Sarah, from floor six.

They waited ten minutes, and when no-one else came into the room, the leader started the session. 'So, everyone, you can tell me what you think of the book, but first, please tell me your names!' She pointed at an older man, who was sitting next to Magnus. The man wanted to say his name, but then the door flew open. Magnus looked at it, and decided that this would be the perfect moment for thunder to strike and dramatic music to play, because there in the doorframe stood Mallory, with her own, shiny copy of wuthering heights.

Magnus bit his lip. Mallory didn't really like to read, which meant there was only one reason she was here: she wanted to get revenge on him, because of the time he had won a bet against her by not dying during painting class. She sunk into the Sofa, between Magnus and the old man. 'I'd like to join, please,' she said, with a grin in Magnus' direction. The woman who ran the club nodded happily, not noticing the death glares Mallory and Magnus were giving each other.

'So, once again, what are your names?' Everyone in the group mentioned their names, and then the session truly started. 'But first, who wants a cup of tea with a cookie?' Everyone put up their hands, and the woman started happily giving people cookies and tea (except for Mallory - she grabbed two cookies, like a true rebel).

'So. Wuthering Heights, by Emily Brontë.' The leader clapped in her hands. One girl (Elisa, Magnus believed,) raised her hand. 'I thought Heathcliff was terrible, because he literally...' she was broken off by the old man.

'No way! Heathcliff was nobel! Catherine had to be a golddigger to marry Linton! It isn't...' Elisa jumped up, which caused her to spill her cup of tea. 'You're wrong! Emily would never...' the leader clapped in her hands.

'Elisa, Jean, please calm down or fight it out.'

'Fight it out!' They yelled at once. Magnus and Mallory shot each other a look. Magnus didn't know how they could fight it out in this small room without having to break everything (but then again, maybe that was supposed to happen). The leaded pushed a cushion aside, and picked up the remote control that was lying underneath. She pushed a button, and part of the wall moved aside. Behind that wall was a boxing ring, with chairs and a bunch of bookcases shoved against the wall.

Elisa and Jean climbed into the ring, as the rest of the book club members sat down around the ring. Magnus looked around the room. Of course. Of course this wasn't going to be peaceful. If there would be an activity called 'Peace to the death,' someone would find a way to make it violent.

'Contestants! Take your places!' the leader yelled. Elisa and Jean took their places. The leader got an air horn out of the nowhere. 'Alright! Go!' She yelled, while she made the air horn go off. Magnus held his hands against his ears, but it didn't help. When the sound of the airhorn died down, Magnus didn't know what was going on because his ears where ringing to hard. Someone had done something with that airhorn, probably for an activity called 'Loud sounds to the death' (Yes, that is a real thing, and Magnus had sworn long ago that he would never put a foot into the room it was being held in).

When Magnus looked back up at the ring, Elisa just punched Jean straight into his gut. Jean bent over. Elisa placed her knee in a very painful place, and pushed Jean to the ground. The leader counted to three, and after that sounded the airhorn again. '... Won! Wuthering Heights is problematic!' She said, way more cheerful than you would think (Magnus didn't hear the first words she said. Somebody clearly did something to that airhorn, and for some reason nobody had put it right).

After the battle was over, Magnus made the mistake to look at Mallory while they walked back to the tea-room. She gave him a look that could only mean one thing: 'I'll disagree with anything you say, and when it's time, I'll kick your butt in the ring.' Magnus decided at that moment not to say anything, a resolution of which he knew he couldn't keep it.

The discussion went on for a while, and Magnus kept his mouth shut. He looked at his pocket watch, and realised they only had fifteen minutes to go. A smile grew on his face. He might actually be able to survive this! He reached out to the plate with cookies, but then heard a few dreaded words: 'Magnus, what do you say when you want another biscuit?' Without thinking, Magnus said: 'Miss, can I please get another cookie?'

Mallory jumped up, and Magnus realised his mistake. 'Magnus, I disagree with that, and veto you to the ring. You don't deserve another biscuit.' The leader got up before Magnus could protest against that, and felt that he was dragged into the ring by the rest of the book club.

He looked around, and stared at Mallory. Hm, he could go for her head or her chest. If he chose the wrong place, he would be defeated. Head or chest? Before he could really choose, the air-horn sounded again, and Magnus just stood silent still.

It was enough. Mallory charged at him, smacked him on the head with her copy of wuthering Heights and also hit him in that spot that hurts a lot. Magnus gave up and sunk to the floor, while Mallory stabbed him. He felt the molecules of his body return to his bedroom, while that terrible air horn went off again. Weird. He didn't even know you were allowed to bring a weapon to the book club.