Athos

Slowly, he crawled towards consciousness. The silence was only filled by breathes around him. He felt he had been ill or wounded. He knew too intimately the taste of a recently broken fever, however the weakness in his body did harbor only long recovery.

Memories started to invade his still sleepy brain. First, slowly and vaguely, then suddenly they sharpened.

"Aramis!", Athos painfully recalled all his harsh words spoken to the marksman.

The swordsman sat up in a swift motion and waited as threatening darkness receded. When he slowly opened his eyes he realized that Aramis was watching him intently his eyes bearing into the swordsman's soul.

"I'm sorry", Athos gasped.

Aramis tilted his head with a questioning look in his eyes.

Athos realized that this time his friend had been wounded too deeply to help him. It was the former comte who needed to ask for forgiveness.

"I am angry with you for your sacrifice. I am not worthy your life… but I'm sorry for wanting you to leave."

Aramis froze. His eyes searched Athos' and the swordsman nearly cried when he saw the depth of his brother's despair.

"The anger took the best on me. I hate seeing you hurt. So all I could think in my feverish condition was that I… needed to save myself from seeing you in pain. It was unforgivable. So I apologize."

Dark haunted eyes were watching him intently. The swordsman had the impression that his friend was inspecting his very soul.

"And now? What do you think now?", Aramis asked.

"I wish it had never happened. I wish you'd never given your life for mine. I wish I'd never been so outrageously ungrateful. But those wishes can't be granted. I am honored to have you as my brother in arms and terrified by your willingness to sacrifice…"

"Athos… you'd have done exactly the same for any of us", Aramis' voice was gentle but this tenderness made the swordsman nervous. What if his brother had already decided to leave?

"Would you stay under my command, please?", he asked his voice strained.

"I would", Aramis replied solemnly.

There was no smile, no relief in marksman's eyes. Only the sadness.

"Aramis…", Athos was at loss what to say, never good with words.

"I thought my world finally ended when you asked me to leave. I'm tired, Athos… and there is no rest for us with Rochefort on the loose."

"We'll prevail.", the swordsman murmured touching Aramis' hand. It was a relief to see the marksman accepting his touch.

They sat in silence. For this, Athos was grateful. He was not so sure he could ever be so lenient and forgiving as Aramis was.

There was a knock on the door. Athos tensed, Aramis aimed his gun.

"Come in", he ordered.

"Don't shoot, please", Milady entered with a mocking smile. Aramis lowered his gun.

"What do you want?", Athos asked.

It hurt to see her. So beautiful.

The King's lover...

"I wanted to check if you're alive. I am sorry I left you behind."

"Don't be", he growled, "Now that you've seen I'm alive, leave!"

"As far as I know, Rochefort has escaped. Don't underestimate him. He's still a great danger to you and your precious friends."

"I don't need your insightful words to know it", Athos wished his stare could kill.

She huffed unperturbed.

Part of him wanted her to get out immediately, but another found a painful pleasure in looking at her beautiful face. She was radiant in the expensive green dress she wore.

No! She is playing with you! She knows the way she affects you! You, idiot, stop peering at her!

"Dear Athos, I came here because he's bribing the courtiers as we speak."

"Have you seen him?!"

"Obviously not. But I know how to listen."

"Have you come here because you need my help?"

"How would I dare to do such a thing?!", she tried to sound shocked. Had he not known her he would have believed it.

"No, dear Athos. I've had the impression that we're working together to bring him down so I've come to share some information with you."

"Do you know his whereabouts?", Aramis asked and Athos realized that, caught in the emotional turmoil, he had nearly forgotten about his friend's presence.

"I wish I knew", she replied sadly, "However he got in touch with comte d'Allancourt and his offer presented to him was eagerly accepted."

"Do you have any proof?", Aramis breathed, his face nearly white.

"Not yet. I will. I should have a mole in True Musketeers soon.", she smiled triumphantly.

She's managed to accomplish what we've been trying for so long.

"What do you want in return?", Aramis asked businesslike.

"The guarantee you won't leave me behind if I misstep.", she replied clearly.

Athos did not like that at all. He was opposed to giving her any promises.

"You have it.", Aramis answered solemnly.

"What?! Aramis, you can't promise her you'll help her! What if she betray us?!"

"As long as Milady is loyal to us she deserves our loyalty. She's been helping us."

"Only because she has her best interest in it."

"Usually allies are united by shared goals.", Aramis retorted.

Athos felt betrayed by his brother. But the marksman seemed to be right. They were on the same side in the war against Rochefort. Still, his friend was not aware of how cruel and deceptive creature she was.

"Well, Athos… you friend seems to have much more reason than you…", she drawled.

"What's your plan now?", Aramis did not let Athos answer.

"I'm going to return to my duty at the King's side. Meanwhile I intend to gather some information. Allancourt is said to be coming to Paris by the end of the week but still I need to confirm it."

"I am afraid we have no information to exchange. We're a bit grounded here", once again it was Aramis who replied.

And Athos could not decide if he was filled with gratitude or fury.

"So I see", she smiled.

She bid them farewell and left. The scent of jasmine lingered in the room. Athos kept watching the door with a kind of bewilderment. Memories flooded his mind. The smell of her skin, the touch of her lips. He needed to take her in his arms, let himself drown in her green eyes…

A shot roused him from his reveries. Still, he was not truly aware of the situation, his senses dimmed by the weakness of his body combined with the weakness of his heart.

Aramis flew through doors, his pistol in his hand and Athos felt the urge to follow him, though his body protested when he tried to stand.

"Need help?", asked a groggy Porthos.

"No! Stay put!", he growled unsure if his fear was for Aramis who was not fit for fight or Milady who might have been shot at.

Finally Athos managed to reach the garrison court. There were a small crowd near the gate, but despite it Athos saw Milady's green dress on the dirty ground.

Was she killed? Why did the thought make his heart freeze? He had sentenced her to death. He wanted her dead. Wasn't her death in the service for France the best gift he should have prayed for?

An awful fear filled him instead of relief. All his strength left him, and he needed to lean against the wall. His legs were trembling, his whole body was shaking.

My Anne is dying there. Alone. I need to be at her side. It's my place not Aramis'.

My Anne?! No, she's not my Anne. My Anne died with Thomas. There had never been my Anne…

So why can't I go there to check on her. On the King's official lover? It's my duty as a musketeer. It would be a sad thing to lose an ally, but I should not be so mortified by such a thought.

The stretcher was brought and his wife was placed on it. He could see Aramis pressing his hands to her stomach. Blood was seeping between his fingers.

They rushed to the nearest building and Athos suddenly found himself on the ground, his vision blurred by tears. He wanted to follow them, to check on his...wife, but instead he froze. Only the unwanted tears gave away he was not as dead as he felt.

A/N

Special thanks to Legate of Apple for all his suggestions and hints!