Chapter 3 What's Right?

I was pretty quiet as Brandon and I finished up with the car for the day. I knew he had noticed but I didn't explain and he didn't ask. I wasn't sure if I was happy about Brenda being Brandon's sister or disappointed, no I was more disappointed. I knew I had been crushing on Brenda for the past two weeks and I didn't crush on many girls. They really never made me try hard. They usually just threw themselves at me. I knew I was charming and smooth with girls but with Brenda it was different. I found myself more nervous around her and I watched what I said to her more. I flirted shamelessly with her and I never tried to hide it. She was different, she would innocently flirt back and blush when I did. It was incredibly cute and fucking sexy as hell. Getting into her pants would be work and I knew it, but it didn't matter. I didn't care about that. I mean don't get me wrong I am a perverted teenager full of hormones but with Brenda…if she made me wait a lifetime I would. That simple fact scared the shit out me. I wasn't good at relationships. The longest one I had had lasted the summer and it was strictly physical. Brenda being Brandon's sister added more pressure. I liked Brandon and I was telling the truth when I said that he was one of the few guys I actually liked, we got along well and not to sound like total bitch, I considered him to be my best friend. I was dickhead, selfish and moody. Brandon was nice and a good guy. He made me want to be better. He was straight edge but not judgmental. Even though I had only known him for a couple weeks, I knew he was the kind of guy I wanted around. I knew his friendship was good for me.

"What movie are we going to see tonight?" Brandon said without looking up from the toolbox.

I shrugged even though he wasn't looking, "It doesn't matter dude…they are playing Animal Crackers downtown.

"Oh that would be cool." Brandon said with a nod. "Should I invite Steve?"

"It doesn't matter." I wasn't all that fond of Steve Sanders but Brandon and him were friends and he didn't get on my nerves too much. Steve was a jock, the kind of guy I loathed. He was everything I wasn't. He was the type to flaunt his conquests and brag about them in the locker room. He was a spoiled rich kid that thought the world owed him something and that money bought everything. His mother was some washed up TV star who hadn't had a decent job since. She was wealthy from her show being in syndication and the fact Steve's father probably paid a butt load in child support. I had gotten used to ignoring his antics and really he wasn't that bad.

"How bout inviting that blonde that was all over you at lunch yesterday…maybe she has friends?" I looked up at Brandon and laughed seeing his goofy grin. My thoughts then went to Brenda. Could I invite her? I truly wasn't sure how Brandon would feel about me and Brenda. Was he overly protective? Would he think I wasn't good enough for her? I mean I wasn't but did he like me enough to look past my reputation and the things he knew about me? I thought I would feel him out a little.

"So…I cant believe Brenda is your sister." I continued to wipe the already clean tool in my hand looking down at it. He didn't say anything, that cant be good. I peaked up at him and saw him staring at me. "What?" I shrugged.

Brandon shook his head, "Nothing…you just threw me off a bit. Had you guys talked before today?"

"Well yeah…I have two classes with her, I sit next her in both." He eyed me, he wasn't ok with it. Fuck.

He sighed loudly, "Look Dylan…she isn't your type…I don't know what kind of ideas you got about my sister but believe me…she isn't your type." He moved around and placed some tools back in the toolbox not looking at me.

"What is that suppose to mean?" my tone was defensive and I heard it. He turned around and looked at me.

His tone matched mine instantly, "It means…she wont put out for you. She is very romantic and dreamy and sweet…she isn't the kind of girl you like."

I was offended, "Brandon…"

"No Dylan…trust me…she wont move on that easily…She's…she's a virgin." My eyes widened, well fuck I would hope so. We were 15 years old. I was a man whore but I knew I wasn't normal. I spent my summers in Europe, it didn't take much charm to woo an older girl into bed with you there. I had the charm and I looked older…plus I was American, it was almost too easy. The girls in school, let me feel them up, made out…but that was the extent of it. Only one girl had let me touch her shit before and she was a Junior.

"What kind of jerk do you think I am?"

Brandon eyes widened, "I didn't mean that dude. I am just saying she is innocent…what makes you think you are her type anyway? I mean…how do you know she would even like a guy like you?"

Because she eye fucks the shit out of me everyday, "A guy like me…?" I repeated in shock. "What kind of guy do you actually think I am Brandon?" I set down the tool and it made a loud noise as it hit the others in the box. He pissed me off. I mean I knew I wasn't good enough for his sister but I thought Brandon was my friend and hearing him think these things made me angry.

Brandon laughed, and I wasn't expecting it, "The kind of guy that hooks up with different girls every weekend. Dude I have known you for two weeks and I have personally seen you make out with 10 different girls. And that's the ones I actually saw. Last weekend at Tyler Kellerman's bonfire, you hooked up with Jessica and Megan. I mean don't get me wrong you're a legend and one of the luckiest guys I know when it comes to girls but I mean Dylan bro, I was there. You're a pimp man."

Fuck…he knew way to much about me. Of course he would think I wanted only one thing from Brenda. That's all I ever did around him. He was right, I had hooked up with 10 different girls in these two weeks. Mostly because they pursued me or I was bored. I wasn't good enough for her and she deserved someone that was as sweet as her. Sweet and dreamy wasn't in my vocabulary. Brenda was off limits, plain and simple. I didn't say anything else, his opinion about me was clear. I was like a hook up god to him but when it came to Brenda I would never be good enough.

I decided to drop the conversation. Brandon had ran to get us sodas and to grab the cordless again to call Steve and I turned around slowly toward the house feeling eyes on me. Brenda was staring down at me as she gabbed on the phone like the majority of girls our age did. I gave her a small smile as I stared back. It would be really fucking hard to stay away from her. She was honestly all I thought about. Our eyes stared intensely at each other.

"Brandon…I am on the phone…jerk." Brenda said loudly into the phone breaking our stare.

"Well get off…I need to use it." I heard Brandon yell from the house.

Brenda looked at me with a bit of embarrassment in her eyes, "Kelly…let me call you back…my dip shit brother needs to call one of his loser friends." she said and I couldn't help but laugh. Normally I saw this shy flirty side of Brenda but the little sister side that showed her age came out with Brandon and I found it equally as cute.

She hung up the phone and smiled at me. I smiled back as we stared at each other…this was not only going to be hard…this was going to be torture.

***

Fuck…Fuck…Fuck, I cursed in my head. Brandon had invited Steve, who had run into Misty at the pit, he invited her, who had brought two friends, Casey and Michelle. Fine whatever who cares right? Wrong…as we were discussing the plans that afternoon playing Basketball. Kelly Taylor and Donna Martin had come over to see Brenda. Steve and Kelly used to date and he obviously isn't over it. In an attempt to make Kelly jealous he opened his big mouth inviting them. So yep…I was going to the movies with Casey and Brenda. Someone fucking kill me. I needed to stay away from her but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea either. That was my problem, I cared entirely too much about this girl. I cared what she thought of me. With Brenda I didn't want to be an asshole player that fucked anything in a skirt. I wanted to be the guy someone like Brenda would actually date. And I couldn't have her…and that made me want her more. The sad thing is I couldn't be mad at Brandon for not wanting me to pursue his sister. If she was my sister I wouldn't want her within 10 feet of me. The truth was Brandon was a good friend, some would even say he was my beat friend. He knew things about my family that no one else knew about. He had seen me at my lowest point to date and he was nice about it. He didn't fucking tell anyone about it either.

Shortly after meeting Brandon I had taken him out. We were going to go to a club, he had never been down Sunset before and even though it was far from my scene, I had a connection at the door and wanted to show him a little of the party scene here in L.A. Frank my connection was wasn't there and I knew without him, I would never get us in. We were underage and Brandon didn't have a fake ID. So instead I took Brandon back to the hotel. I told him Henry made the best fucking fries on the planet and since it was still early he didn't want to go home anyway. My mother was at a spiritual retreat in Sedona and my father had been doing business in New York. When we got back t the sweet, all seemed fine until Brandon and I heard some rather inappropriate sounds coming from my parents bedroom. At first I was horrified thinking that they had came back early and I was witnessing first hand my father fucking the shit out of my mother. I cringed and felt nauseous as Brandon laughed hysterically.

"Uh let's get the hell out of here before I throw up." I said to to Brandon as he bent at the waist laughing his ass off.

"God what is he doing to her?" Brandon laughed out.

"Eww…I don't want to know…lets go." I walked quickly to the table by the front door and grabbed my keys.

"Oh…Jack…oh jack…" the women panted.

"Fuck…Jess…god damn." I heard my father groan.

I froze, "who the fuck was Jess?"

"Jess isn't your mothers name?" Brandon naively asked.

"Ah no." I looked toward the bedroom. "My mom's name is Iris." I looked back at Brandon and the smile quickly faded from his face as it dawned on him.

I moved slowly toward the bedroom, "Come on Dylan…lets just get out of here." Brandon said nervously. I put my hand up as the noises went on and got louder as I approached the closed door of my parents bedroom. I slowly reached for the bedroom door, turning it quietly, pushing the door open.

There it was, "Jess" riding my father's cock like a mechanical bull. She looked at me and smirked. The sick thing is they both saw me and didn't stop. The slut bag wasn't embarrassed or anything. I wasn't gawking I froze in shock. After a second my father yelled a me to close the fucking door. I raged, I slammed the door shut as their groans and pants continued and got louder, sick fucks. Totally not phased that I, Jack's 15 year old son had just witnessed him cheating on my mother.

Brandon had stayed back by the front door. He stood silent as I walked to the liquor cabinet and took a bottle of Jack and rushed out of the suite. Brandon didn't say much that night. He just listened as I drowned myself in Jack, puked all over myself and cried my eyes out like a little bitch. There wasn't anyone that had seen that side of me. Yeah it made sense for a 15 year old kid to react to that way but I wasn't a normal kid. I had been alone practically my whole life. I hadn't spent any quality time with my dad since the last Dodger game he had taken me to when I was 6 years old. I was tough and everyone knew that. I had fallen apart that night and Brandon was there for me. He was good friend. I am not going to lie, there was a small part of me that thought Brandon would go to school the next day and tell everyone that the one and only bad ass McKay had broken down and wasn't a bad ass after all. Or I thought he would look at me different. Maybe he would have lost some respect for me, maybe he wouldn't think I was cool and a guy to look up to after all. But he didn't. Brandon was cool as hell with me. He let me cry like a baby, he let me get drunk as a skunk and then he stayed out all night with me, had gotten grounded because of it and still didn't judge me. I respected him as much as he respected me. And then after all was said and done. He told me he was there for me if I ever needed him and he never brought it up again.

So here I fucking was, in love with his sister and going to a movie with her, him and Casey. Could the candid camera guys show up now? I mean this had to be a joke. I caught glances at Brenda as we waited in line for our tickets. Casey tried to hang on me like a cheat suit and I tried to ignore her like the bastard I was considering I had let her jack me off four days ago.

"Retch…do you see how Steve is hanging all over Misty. I mean she isn't even that pretty." Kelly said to Brenda.

"Kel…he's a loser." Brenda rolled her eyes.

"He's just doing that to make you jealous Kelly." Brandon said giving her a smile.

"You think?" she looked at him.

Brandon nodded, "Definitely look at him, he keeps making sure you're looking." Brandon said back to her. We all looked over at Steve. He caught us and tightened his hold around Misty's waist. We all laughed at the obvious.

"Well…then in that case." Kelly's arm intertwined with Brandon's, "You're my date then."

Brandon laughed as they walked up to the window.

I was staring at the ground with my hands in my pocket uncomfortable. I felt Brenda bump me gently with her hip, "Everything okay?"

I looked at her and took a deep breath, "Yeah…why?"

She crossed her arms, it was obvious she was feeling awkward too, "You are just so quiet."

I shrugged, not sure what exactly to say.

"Yo love birds…move up." Steve saved me as we both looked up toward the window that was now unoccupied.

Brenda smiled at me and moved to the window, I bought Brenda's ticket, don't know why it just felt like the right thing to do. I saw Brandon and Kelly still attached at the arm and I noticed Brenda was looking at them.

"Does that bother you?" I motioned with my head to them. "Brandon and Kelly?"

Brenda let out a laugh, "I know he has a crush on her…he wishes." he joked. "But no not really, should it?" she looked at me and I honestly didn't know the right answer.

"I guess that depends, are you guys real close?"

"Yeah she is probably my best friend these days, if…Kelly liked Brandon and they were happy together…no I wouldn't mind." She smiled at me and grabbed the popcorn and walked away.

I thought about it, she was right, if I could somehow prove that my feelings for Brenda were more than just a potential hook up maybe Brandon would just want exactly that. For us to be happy. I mean if I really felt about Brenda what I thought I did, it wouldn't matter how long I had to wait for Brandon to see that.

As we filed into the theater, Brenda sat next to me. Luckily Casey was at the opposite end. I saw her eyeing Brenda and me and I just hoped Brenda didn't notice. I looked down the aisle and made eye contact at Brandon. He was making eyes with Kelly listening to whatever she was blabbing about. Probably nothing important but he was doing a good job of being into it if she wasn't as he turned his attention to her again. Shortly after that the movie started I looked over at Brenda. She was intently looking at the screen. I looked at the curves of her face, the way her hair fell simply over her shoulder, she was amazing and I found myself staring at her. She must have realized because she looked over at me and gave me a shy smile. The feelings I had for her were so intense I didn't even know it was possible. I mean wasn't I too young to feel this way? Was it just because I couldn't have her? We both looked away from each other as Steve who was sitting on the other side of her asked to move the arm rest down.

During the movie the pull to hold her hand, stroke her arm just to touch her was almost unbearable. We decided to see some new action movie not Animal Crackers and I couldn't even tell anyone what this movie was about if someone had asked. I wondered if she felt it. I think she did she would nervously clench her hand every so often, rub her palm down her leg. It was like she was itching for it as I was. I glanced down and looked toward Brandon. Him and Kelly were holding hands surprisingly. They were both staring at the screen. I took a deep breath and moved my hand on the outside of my thigh. I looked down at Brenda's hand resting on her leg. I felt a huge lump in my throat as I tried to swallow it down a I slowly crept my fingers toward it. Slowly getting closer, inch by inch, finally I took it in mine. She looked at me with her big beautiful eyes and glanced down at our hands. She adjusted hers and intertwined them with mine. I lowered our clasped hands between us, not to broadcast it to the whole group. I caressed it with my thumb softly, it was smooth and warm and it felt good. I glanced at her again and she met my stare. I realized at that moment, our hands intertwined, felt perfect. It made me calm and comfortable…it made me whole and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do the right thing. Did I do what was right in my head...or my heart?

So do you like it? What do you think is going to happen? Any of you have a crush like this or had one? Anyone feel this way about someone you couldn't have? Share your stories or just if you liked it. I appreciate all the reviews my stories get and you will never fully know how much I love them. I do have a hint though, I have been known to write back to the detailed reviews and I have even been know to give spoilers in them as well. I am just saying lol Review review review!

Next update should be Love Letters.