Chapter 5 Protected and Cared For
Three months…three months and no Brenda. I hadn't talked to her in three God damn months and she still surrounded every other thought in my mind. She was still my writing partner and in my health class but we only said a few words to each when necessary and that was it. I hadn't gotten anywhere with her over these few months. No more taking her to Europe talk, marriage or any other flirting went on and I desperately craved it. She pretty much ignored me and I did as well. I should be angry with her, I should hate her actually. She said some fucked up things to me but I wasn't and I don't hate her at all. Not even close.
Let me be the first to say, the Dylan McKay that I knew I was wouldn't have given a shit that the girl he was hot for was a sister of his friend. I mean maybe I would have asked if he minded if I saw her, but it wouldn't have stopped me…believe me. There was something about Brenda and the feelings I had for her were intense. I was scared. I was scared things would get serious quickly and then I being an asshole would hurt her in some way. Ruin our relationship and ruin my friendship with Brandon. Brandon had become a brother to me. He knew something had happened between Brenda and I that night. He saw how upset she was but I didn't say anything and he never asked. I don't know if he ever asked Brenda but considering he still talked to me I assumed she hadn't told him either. That night after movies was one of the worst nights for me. I wanted so much to kiss her it physically hurt me. Then she went off on me. She was crying and yelling and laughing at me. I didn't fight back with her cause everything she was saying was true. Also I didn't want to hurt her and by the looks of it, it was exactly what I did. She said she wanted to hook up with me. Use me and that she wanted from me what I wanted which was just a hook up. That could not be farther from the truth. I wanted all of her, I wanted her to be mine, my girl…I wanted to walk her to class and sit with her at lunch. I wanted to feel like I could go up to her, swing my arm around her kiss her temple and hold her tight. I wanted to tell her I loved her and hold her. When she was ready I would show her how much I loved her physically and it would be amazing. I wanted to tell her I was the luckiest son of a bitch in the world to have her and that she was everything to me. I wanted to tell her I was the one not worthy of her and never would be but I would spend eternity showing her. I would try to be everything she wanted me to be. These were the things I thought about. How fucked up was that? I had just turned sixteen...now that I had finally became legal to drive, and I thought about forever with this girl. See scared, do you blame me?
As time went on Brenda and I grew further apart as the gang grew closer. Brandon and Kelly had been dating this whole time. Shortly after the movies they had gone out a few times and were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I couldn't help but be jealous that Brandon was allowed to date Brenda's best friend and I wasn't allowed to date Brenda. Well I don't know if I wasn't allowed as much as didn't pursue it in fear of Brandon's big brother ways and the fact that I was scared shitless to fuck it up. Plus she didn't like me, that was the most important reason. She had told me to my face what she saw me as. A selfish asshole, man whore were her words. She didn't take me seriously just like everyone else. So as our group, which consisted of myself, Brandon, Steve, Kelly, Donna and Brenda, got closer, I kept my distance from the only one I wanted most to be with. We did all kinds of stuff as a group. We hung out, went to parties, the Walsh's cooked for us all the time, barbeque's, movie nights, even trips. Yep we all went to Palm Springs together and I still didn't let myself ever get any time alone with her. We ignored each other, it was pathetic. I would watch her like a pussy whipped little bitch and when she would glance my way, I would turn away. This was the game we played.
I could tell the anger dwindled after those first few months and that's why I was going to say something to her at Donna's party. Honestly it's the only reason I decided to go. Parties weren't my thing I was better one on one. It was December, it was Donna's 16th birthday. Her parents went to some medical convention in Houston and were spending Christmas there. Donna was suppose to meet up with them but talked her mother into letting her stay with Kelly claiming she had some huge group project due before Christmas break that she needed to be around for. I normally didn't keep up with the gossip or this kind of shit but since becoming friends with Brandon I had been in the loop a hell of a lot more. And whenever Brenda and her friends came up, I listened.
The night started off to be expected. The "A List" of West Beverly were there. Steve was passing out his famous mango margaritas and purple pleasure punch and everyone was drinking and having a good time. I stuck with beer and had snuck in a few shots of Jack to build up the nerve to talk to her. I watched her the whole night. She was wearing a tight ass black dress. It was short, hit mid thigh and long sleeve. She had her hair up in some loose messy pony tail thing and she looked sexy as hell. I was surprised Brandon being the protective big brother let her out of the house like that. I don't know what its like having a sister but if she was my girlfriend I wouldn't be happy about that dress unless she was attached to my arm all night long. I wasn't a controlling or possessive type of guy at all. Like at all but Brenda looked hot as hell and the dress should have been illegal. The thought of guys ogling her made me turn caveman I guess.
The party was coming along like any other party. Brandon and Kelly made out in the corner, Donna danced close to Seth Larson, a scum bag prick that made me look like a priest in the chick department. Little did he know he wasn't going to get any cause word around school was that Donna was a virgin and wanted to be that way until she got married. Everyone knew that so I assumed Seth wanted a challenge. Steve was giving the stink eye in the general direction of Brandon and Kelly. Brandon said that he had talked to Steve about dating Kelly and Steve said no big deal. I am done with her pass it to the homies now you hit it. His words not mine. But he definitely cared. Steve had Misty hanging on his nut sac like a jock strap and then there was Brenda. She was chatting it up with Tony mother fucking Miller. A senior that I hated and had a bad rep at West Beverly for de-virginizing lower classmates and telling all his jock strap friends about it in the locker room. I didn't like him talking to Brenda, me being madly in love with her aside, I knew Brandon wouldn't want his sister within 10 feet of him but he was busy getting laid apparently. So that left me, caveman Dylan watching from a safe distance making sure Tony's dick stayed in his pants.
I watched as he leaned into her and whispered in her ear. She would giggle and take girly sips of her margarita. She laughed at his jokes and batted her eyes at him and whatever bullshit lines he was feeding her was working. I tried to keep it together because Brenda hadn't talked to me since the movies and that had been over three months ago. I wanted to get her away from him and alone but I being an idiot fucked up. Brandon had asked me if it was cool if I kept an eye out on Brenda, we were all spending the night at Donna's so none of us had to be DD. He was going to sneak upstairs with Kelly and call it an early night. I agreed and did exactly that. Then Casey came over and stood in front of me.
"Hey Dylan." she leaned up and whispered in my ear.
"Hey Casey." I said back to her softly.
"How have you been…we haven't hung out in a long time."
She was right, since the movies I hadn't hooked up with Casey since or any other girl for that matter. I know I am pathetic. The things Brenda said about me being a man whore hit home and I wanted to be better for her. My intentions had gone unnoticed though.
"Yeah…I am good…you?" I looked at her briefly while I spoke to her but then would keep my eye on Brenda making sure she was still in sight.
Casey noticed as her attention caught where my eyes were, "You know Dylan…I have no idea what you see in Brenda Walsh…she wouldn't make you feel as good as I can."
I looked at her and took a deep breath, "It isn't like that Case…she is Brandon's sister and I am looking out for her. Tony is a douche bag and you of all people know that." she flinched as I reminded her she had been one of his victims.
"She'll be fine…he isn't that bad…he's definitely isn't you though." her eyes glimmered with lust as she moved closer to me. "Come on…I want to show you something."
She leaned up and kissed me. Her tongue shoved into my mouth as she pressed her breasts against my chest. It had been a long time since I had hooked up with anybody and I am afraid my dick did the decision making at that point. I kissed her back looking at her lustfully as she grabbed my hand pulling me toward the stairs. I took a quick glance at Brenda and she was dancing to a fast song with Donna and Tony was nowhere to be found. What the hell right? Brenda seemed fine and considering how long it had been since I had been with a girl, I doubted I would take long.
So let me tell you a little something about my fucking luck. So I go into one of the bedrooms with Casey. She is all over me, kissing me and touching me. It felt nice actually and before I know it my zipper is undone, my cock is out and her eager little mouth is wrapped around it. I had done a lot with Casey but this was new and it was amazing. She went to town on me as I gripped her hair through my fingers, rested my hand on her head as she moved in and out from me. When my eyes weren't rolling to the back of my head, I gently pushed her hair out of her face as I watched her suck my dick. She kept a steady pace and I knew I wasn't going to last long. She whispered to me let go and as the feeling built up in my balls I knew I was going to come undone. As she worked me over and the pressure built Brenda's face came into my mind as I unloaded into her mouth. It wasn't the first time I pictured her as I came, not the first time I envisioned her when I was with someone else either. Oh whatever, bite me. Not bad I must say, Casey was easy, dumb as rocks but the girl could give head, I would give her that.
Ok now some may say, dude Dylan, bad luck really? Well this was the kicker, I had been so good these past few months wanting to be a good guy that someone like Brenda would appreciate. I had secretly hoped my abstinence and lack of hook ups would eventually get back to her, and maybe it would have but as Casey finished, before I had finished, the bedroom door swung open with a drunken giggle and there stood Brenda. She stopped dead in her tracks. Michelle and Donna pissed themselves laughing at the uncompromising position they had caught us in, Brenda stood blank looking at me. Her eyes ran down and saw Casey on her knees still attached to my dick. She shook her head, with tears in her eyes and turned quickly leaving in a rush. I gently pushed Casey off of me and zipped up my pants as I chased behind her.
"Brenda." I called out, seeing her run through the party and get lost in the crowd. God I fucked up. This was the night I was suppose to tell her how I felt and I had just made it totally worse. She would never trust me or think anything other than what she thought about me already. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked around the room. I didn't see her anywhere. She looked disgusted and utterly upset and there was a part of me that was relieved that maybe there was some jealousy there and it would mean maybe just maybe she felt the same about me. I heard giggling behind me as Casey and Michelle came down the stairs.
"Later Dylan." she said with a bitch ass smirk. She enjoyed the little show. She was happy Brenda had caught us and something told me maybe just maybe it wasn't an accident. I didn't have time to deal with her shit. My eyes swept the party again but she was no where. I saw Steve and Donna so I rushed over to them.
"Hey McKay…dude where have you been?" Steve slurred and handed me a shot. I took it back quickly and turned toward Donna.
"Have you seen Bren?" Donna looked at me like I had just killed her dog and shrugged. She was pissed at me I guess, again didn't have time for it. "You don't think she would leave do you?"
Donna shook her head, "Nah she is probably out back. She is sleeping here for sure, there is no way she would go home to Cindy and Jim without Brandon as drunk as she is."
Great Brenda was drunk. "Thanks Donna." I said as I weaved through the crowd to the backyard. I noticed her right away. She stood at the far side of the backyard looking out into the view of the city with her arms crossed in front of her. I stared at her as she wiped her tears from her cheeks quickly hoping no one caught it, but I did. I started to make my way over to her but stopped as Tony fucking Miller handed her a red cup and leaned into the railing and began talking to her. I didn't like crowds and the last thing I wanted was a scene. I knew that if I went and interrupted them I would have one, with Tony and with Brenda. If she was going to yell at me and take her anger at what she had seen out on me I didn't want the whole fucking school to know about it. So I stood back, keeping my distance and watched her. As long as she was in my sights, I knew she was safe from the date rapist.
The night carried on and Brenda looked wasted, she was barely standing and I had wondered just how much she had had to drink. Tony was all over her. Kissing down her neck, his man handler hands wrapped around her waist. I swallowed hard and looked away. I'll admit him touching her drove me fucking crazy and I thanked god I hadn't seen them kiss, like really kiss or I would have died. I looked around the back yard taking my eyes off of her and Tony, it hurt to much to look. I chuckled quietly as I saw couples hooking up in dark corners, people being pushed into the pool, some girl barfing in a near by bush. Donna's party was going into the books that was for sure. My eyes found the place in the yard where Brenda and Tony had been but they were gone.
Fuck was my exact thought. I saw how messed up Brenda was first hand and I knew her decision making was probably not up to par. Where did that dick wad take her? I walked fast pushing past people as I made my way inside. I looked around aimlessly and I couldn't see them anywhere. The crowd had definitely thinned out so it was easier to look around but I didn't see Tony anywhere and that was who I looked for. Tony was a big guy, beefy, a roided out meat head and he was easier to spot then someone as petite and small as Brenda. I walked over to Tony's jock friends and asked Kyle, the only one of those assholes that was cool if he had seen Brenda or Tony.
Kyle shrugged but Josh heard me and laughed, "Last I saw Tony, he had a Sophomore cutie brunette draped over his shoulder and he was heading upstairs…lucky bastard." Josh held his shot up to the rest of the group, "To the poor brunette…we'll all hear about her pussy soon enough." and like that he took back the shot.
Fuck that…fuck that piece of shit as I ran up those fucking stairs faster than I had ever ran in my life. I took them two, three at a time until I was there. Donna's house was huge, it had to be 8 bedrooms and that's what I did. I walked from door to door twisting the locked knobs as I went down the hallway. I listened as best I could over the music from downstairs because all of them were locked or empty. My temper was flaring and my anxiety was in full force. For one, I didn't want Tony's dick anywhere near my Brenda…two, my selfish ass self wanted to be there first even though she didn't belong to me. Three…Brenda was in no shape to be doing anything with anyone and Tony was a prick to take advantage of her like that. Call me a jealous caveman, call me a selfish asshole, call me a fucking hypocrite because hours ago I was getting head, call me the worlds biggest cock blocker known to man but there was no way that was happening. Brenda was better than me, shit she was better than all these assholes and Brandon trusted me to look out for his sister. Finally my luck changed, as the music downstairs quieted before the next song came on and I heard that asshole.
"Fuck Brenda…you're so hot." he said to her from inside the bedroom I was standing next to. I banged on it hard.
"Go away…this room is taken." he called out. I knocked harder, opened palmed, annoyingly over and over and over.
"What the fuck?" he screamed and I heard Brenda moan. My heart tightened in my chest and that was all it took for me to forcefully throw my shoulder into the door as it swung open.
Then I saw something that made my face turn red and if I was a cartoon I am sure steam and smoke would be shooting out of my ears. Brenda was on her back on the bed, eyes closed, past the fuck out, dress up around her waist, panties off and Tony the date rapist Miller on top of her in between her legs. I thanked every higher power that he had his shit still in his pants.
I moved quickly and grabbed Tony by his shirt and threw him against the door. "What the fuck Miller? You into fucking unconscious girls now?" I gripped his shirt in my hands tightly and threw him against the wall again.
"What…she was into it?" he said with a smirk and that's all it took for my sliver of sanity to disappear as I brought my fist back giving it momentum and punched him in the face. By this time the commotion I made had caused a small gathering outside the bedroom door and Steve was there. I motioned for him and Kyle to take Tony the fuck out of there as I rushed over to Brenda throwing a blanket over her so no one would see her exposed like that. She moaned painfully and moved to her side. She was more than drunk, she was incoherent.
"What the fuck did you give her?" I yelled at Tony. I thought about the red cup he had given her and the date rape drug came to mind. None of the girls that were gathered there were friends with Brenda, I didn't know where Kelly or Brandon was and truthfully I was happy the commotion didn't bring him there. Steve pulled Tony by the collar of his shirt away and the group dwindled. I closed the door behind them and locked it. There was no way I was going to have her in there alone, so exposed as she was. I sat next to her on the bed and sighed out loud. My hand found my face as I rubbed at it and tried to calm my adrenaline down. I looked down at her and shook my head, my fingers gently pushed her hair out of her face. She looked so sweet and relaxed and little did she know what had almost happened to her. I blamed myself, for losing her for those few minutes, for not stopping her from talking to Tony at all. For going off with Casey and getting her so upset that she went off by herself and Tony had found her there. I moved myself down the bed on my side as I lay next to her and stared at her.
"I'm sorry Bren." I whispered setting my hand on her cheek softly.
Her eyes fluttered opened and she smiled at me. She was wasted, and even with all the drama that had happened I couldn't help but smile back at her. "Hey there." she slurred as she closed her eyes again. "Am I dreamin…or…am I in beeeeeed with Dylan McKay?" she laughed.
I chuckled and shook my head, she was so gone, "I think I'm the one that's dreaming." I muttered as I gently played with her hair. It had fallen out of the messy pony tail thing and lay down her back and over her shoulder.
"Mmmm you." she opened her eyes slowly like they were the heaviest thing in the world before they closed again, "You…smell good."
I laughed, "You do too." I shook my head, this was epic to me and she had nothing to worry about I would never take advantage of her but hearing this wasted side of her, truth and raw, was incredible. Plus this was the first time she had said anything to me in months. I missed it…I missed her. Ok fine, maybe it took Brenda being drunk and drugged out of her mind to talk to me but I didn't care.
"Do you always…mell this goo?" her voice was high and un-Brenda like as she forced the words out. I was about to answer her by saying some dumb ass joke she probably wouldn't remember anyway but she spoke again, "Of course you do…Mr. Sex…you all…sexy…smelling…panty dropping…"
Huh? What the hell was she talking about. Sexy…smelling…panty dropping…damn it, I wanted to know. This kept getting better and better.
"Uhhh…thanks…I think?" I smirked at her and her eyes opened again. She barely had proper motor functions and all of a sudden the blankets were gone and she was close to me. She leaned in and kissed me and my eyes must have bugged out of my head. Oh god…this was not how I wanted our first kiss to be. Stop it Dylan…you're not a douche bag…right now you are being just like the date rapist. Those were the things that ran in my mind as I kissed her back. She tasted incredible, oddly enough, she was sweet, I could taste the slight hint of tequila and mango as our tongues slowly moved together. Her hand found my bulge and I pushed her away instantly and closed my eyes. "Brenda…" I breathed out.
She looked at me with those hurt eyes again, I wasn't rejecting her, she had to know that. I couldn't take advantage of her like this. I liked her too much, I fucking loved her too much. I was selfish too because if I was ever lucky enough in a bed with Brenda, I wanted her to have me, all of me and only me. I wanted her to say my name in passion and I wanted her to remember it damn it.
She nodded quickly, "Oh…right…I…geeeet it…Casey…your dick…don't want me." she mumbled out.
I sighed out frustrated and mad at Tony for getting Brenda like this, my hands went to cup her face, "No…I want you…more than you even know. But not like this…not with you like this." I didn't know what she was going to remember but I hoped some of this would stick. Her facial expression changed and I stared at her trying to read her.
Then I knew, "sick...Uh" Oh fuck she was going to be sick. I picked her up bridal style and fled to the attached bathroom in the bedroom. I tried not to look down considering she was still not decent from the waist down. You have no fucking idea how hard that fucking was. I lowered her to the ground, pulled her hair from her face as she emptied her stomach into the toilet. She puked her brains out, thank god it was mostly alcohol and hopefully that pill. Or any traces left from it. She groaned resting her head on the seat as I held her hair back and rubbed her back. I didn't mind, the puke was nasty but it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before. I knew I wasn't the right person that should be in there with her definitely not the best person, her lack of undergarments proved that off the bat. But I wanted to be. I wanted to take care of her, I needed her to be okay. I honestly didn't want anyone else to see her like this except maybe her friends and I wasn't going to leave her to find them either. I had hoped after everything I had done to her she wouldn't be mad at me and I hoped she would know everything about her would be kept a secret. Anything I saw, everything she well tried to say, would never leave this room.
She began coughing as she began to throw up again. Her eyes were teary and I felt bad for her, she didn't deserve this. "Uhhhh I'm…dying." she moaned out.
I shook my head, "No you're not…you'll be fine…"
Hours had past and she hadn't thrown up since the last time. She didn't look comfortable, she was curled up in a fetal position on the bathroom floor with her head in my lap. I had thrown a towel around her waist so I wasn't tempted to sneak a peak. Oh shut up and leave me alone, I was in love with her and a 16 year old boy for God sakes…don't judge me.
She stretched a bit and opened her eyes, her eyes widened as she saw me. She sat up quickly, "What the fuck?" she said loudly and then grabbed her head.
I got up and held out my hand, "Come on, let me get you back to bed."
Her eyes still looked glassy and I wasn't sure if she was still messed up. She hesitated and took my hand only for a moment as she got to her feet. She looked at me and pulled back her hand abruptly, "Where's Casey?" she said with venom in her voice. Alright guess I wasn't getting out of that one whether she had sobered up or not. Damn it, she had to remember that point.
I swallowed hard, "I don't know."
She gave me the evil eye, "Well…I'm surprised to see you without her mouth attached to your dick." she spat.
I had to hold back my smile, it wasn't funny, I knew that, but she was a firecracker and I loved that. Brenda didn't beat around the bush, she never did. Some may say she was bitchy maybe even immature but I found it sexy. She was feisty and honest and it was one of the things I liked about her.
I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Brenda…"
She shook her head not wanting me to continue and lost her balance as she tried to walk away from me. I caught her quickly before she hit the ground. I picked her up and carried her to the bed and she just looked at me. "Why are you doing this? Why are you here?" she asked me seriously.
"Because…I care about you…" Her eyes stared intently into mine and at that moment I wanted to tell her exactly why I was really there. I wanted to tell her that the thought of her with someone else made me physically sick, I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and that she was all I thought about. I wanted to tell her she took over my whole mind, in the mourning and in the afternoon. I wanted to tell her if Tony had gotten farther with her and he would have hurt her in anyway I would tear him a new asshole and make him regret ever being born. Well he had it coming to him already but I could honestly kill him for it all. "You're my best friends sister…I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
"Oh…I see…Brandon's sister" she murmured, I wasn't sure what her face inclined or what the tone meant.
"Look Brenda…I know we haven't really talked in a while, and…" I didn't want to talk about the movies, "Whatever you think about me…however you see me…I consider you my friend…not just Brandon's sister, regardless if you want my friendship or not."
She smiled as her lids did heavy blinks, she allowed her eyes to close finally and my hand found her cheek. My thumb caressed it gently and then I pushed her hair behind her ear. She had passed out again shortly after and by now it was morning. I heard movement in the hallway and through the house. I leaned in and gently kissed Brenda on her forehead. I got up slowly trying not to wake her. The last thing I needed was Brandon getting the wrong idea about where I had slept last night. I mean he would find out soon enough what had happened. I prayed he would just be thankful I was there instead of blaming me somehow. I crept silently out of the bedroom, closing the door behind me. The moment of truth…did Brenda remember anything? Would she be pissed…thankful? I guess I would soon find out.
I know shock me shock me. Tony Miller is a bad bad bad boy. Next up Brenda's POV…do you think she remembers anything? What do you think she will do, how will she react when she learns what happened and who saved her? Let me know what your thinking so I can tell you. DUH.