"Alright this one's full, take it away!" A Guard ordered as the horses walked away with the transport, another one was rounding up the Seven Dwarves in chains like a line of prisoners; who were singing in their misfortune
"He ho hi he, dwarf prisoners are we" They all sang union, with the Guard tugging at their chains
"Move it along. Come on! Get up!" There was commotion going on
"Next!" The Captain of the Guards, who wore an brown leather cap on his head called out as a man brought a witch in black over
"Give me that!" The Guard took the broom and snaps it in half with his knee. "Your flying days are over" He declared as the Captain gave the reward to the Witch Hunter. "That's 20 Pieces of silver for the Witch. Next!" The Witch Hunter grumbled off about the pieces of silver as he passed a cantankerous old woman with a Donkey with her tied in rope. He was observing the whole Fairytale Deathcamp as the man who held a small elf with a red cone hat dressed in blue brought the latter to be traded for the reward. "Come on, get over here!" He grumbled
"Get up! Come on!" The Guards lifted up the door to the Fairytale Deathcamp Transport containing the Seven Dwarves, White Unicorn and Witch before taking off. Not even the Three Bears were safe from being caged in two separate ones. The father wore glasses and a pipe in his mouth, the Mother had a obvious bow in her hair and the cub seemed upset in his own separate cage next to his parents
"This cage is too small!" Behind him happened to be a never growing up young boy with a glowing yellow fairy in a cage, a tall farmer with three German accented pigs, two under one arm and the third under his other one. In front of them happened to be an old toymaker with a puppet in his arms
"Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!" Donkey begged as his cruel old owner frowned and raised her elbow as if to hit him
"Oh shut up!" She declared with Donkey whimpering afterwards
"Next!" The Captain called out as the Old Toymaking Elder placed down a puppet onto the table before him. "What have you got?"
"This little wooden puppet" Geppetto stated with Pinocchio trying to lie his way out
"I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy" His nose grew forward two feet, proving his statement bullshit
"5 Shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away" He ordered as Geppetto was given his Shillings and walked off while Pinocchio was taken in another direction towards the transport
"Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!" The Guard hoisted him up as the Old Woman stepped up to the table
"Next! What have you got?" The Captain asked
"Well, I've got a talking Donkey" She yanked the rope around Donkey's mouth forward
"Right, well that's good for 10 Shillings! If you can prove it..." The Captain has been given a lot of strange creatures lately these past few days, such as a stalk and a spinning top. He even got a empty Lamp from a hunky Arabian Thief turned Prince, at least he hoped it was empty; otherwise he could've had his three wishes right about now, damn...
"Oh, go ahead little fella" Her voice turned sweet, innocent and gentle sounding as she removed the rope off of Donkey's mouth. He just looked from her to the Guards and remained silent
"Well?" The Captain asked as the Guard returned from placing Pinocchio in the Fairytale Deathcamp Transport
"Oh, oh, he's just... he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox" She told the Captain before turning over to Donkey, threatening to slap him. "Talk, you boneheaded dolt!"
"That's it, I've heard enough. Guards!" The Captain was getting impatient, she can't prove that it's a talking Donkey and she ain't gettin' that 10 Shillings; unless she brings in a REAL one
"No, no he talks! He does" The Old Woman was getting desperate, if she's going to sell this stubborn boneheaded dolt then's she's gonna have to try something. She proceeded to grab Donkey's mouth and move it, if this won't get her the 10 Shillings then nothing will. "I can talk! I love to talk! I'm the talkiest damn thing you ever saw!"
...
The Captain was not impressed...
...
"Get her out of my sight" The Captain of the Guards ordered as the Guards proceeded to grab the Old Woman by the arms
"No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!" She struggled as she kicked here and there, with her foot kicking the small cage of Peter Pan behind her; the small cargo holding Tinkerbell flung into the air before landing atop of Donkey's head, sprinkling some Pixie Dust that allowed him to fly
"Hey, I can fly!" Thus, Donkey made the grave mistake that would led to his meeting with a certain person that he would become friends with in the future: had he kept his mouth shut until he left the vicinity of the Fairytale Deathcamp, he would be home free...
"He can fly" Peter declared
"He can fly" The Three Pigs spoke in disbelief in union
"He can talk!?" The Captain of the Guards was rightfully angry for being decieved, it would appear that the Old Woman was telling the truth all along and this Donkey was fooling them into thinking he was a ordinary animal just to avoid falling into their hands. By the time that Pixie Dust wears off, he'll be captured immediately!
"Haha! That's right fool! Now I'm a flying talking donkey! You may have seen a Housefly, maybe even a Superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a Donkey fly. Ha, ha!" Donkey cheered in his own newfound freedom to escape and soar out of reach, but it would seem that his luck has just ran out for the Pixie Dust wore off and he lost his altitude. "Uh... oh" He proceeded to fall and land on his ass, the Captain frowned angrily and pointed to him
"Seize him!" The Captain barked out
Donkey panicked as he tried to run, but was grabbed by two Guards; he wiggled himself loose and avoided another two Guards attempting to capture him, the third one fell atop the first and second one while the forth one stumbled. "After him!" The Captain got up and screamed as Donkey took off running out of the Fairytale Deathcamp, jumping over a rock and running under a fallen branch; making a hasty turn to the right with whatever limited mobility he had and ran for as much as his stubby little legs carried him. The Captain of the Guards and his men were not far behind but Donkey continued to run, not seeing the Ogre setting up his new birch wood vertical sign that a green skull with pupils that wrote: "Keep Out" until it was too late and bumped into him
The Ogre turned around to face him as Donkey was terrified, not even he was safe from hearing about the terrible acts that Ogres had done to those who provoke them; but the yelling of the Captain screaming out to his men,"He's getting away! Get him!" and the sounds of the Guards in armor forced him to hide behind this green giant. "This way! Turn!" Donkey took cover behind the Ogre as the Captain of the Guards and his men ran up, stopping when they all saw the tall Ogre who stood before them
"You there... Ogre" The Captain grabbed a scroll his waist
"Aye?" Was his reply, hands on his hips and now seemingly irritated that his day was once again involving contact with company
"By the order of Lord Farquaad... I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement... facility...?" The Captain's voice was shaking and nervous due to the face that the Ogre was walking towards him slowly, now standing right in front of him as a deafening silence fell
"Oh really?" He asked, leaning down so he was face to face with the Captain. "You and what army?" He asked as his teeth glittered with a smile, glancing behind him
The Captain turned around to see what was once left of his men as the Halberds falling down and the Shield spun around onto the floor like a coin, turning back to the Ogre; Donkey smiled as the Captain took his men's advice and made a run for it. Now that confrontation is over with, the Ogre shook his head and walked away; but Donkey had nowhere else to go and decided to follow his accidental savior. He trotted behind him
"Can I say something to you?" He asked with the Ogre walking on. "Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!" Now fully irritated, he turned around
"Are you talkin' to..." The Ogre saw no one else, just the ground lit by the sunlight within the forest of the tall trees. The voice was clearly gone, but it seemed like it was there before. "Me?" He blinked and shrugged, before giving out a startled yell as the Donkey now stood before him; christ he just can't stay still can't he?
"Yes I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you was great back here? Those Guards! They thought they were all of that. Then you showed up and bam!" He caught up to him before getting up onto his hoofs in front of the Ogre and made a action move with his right hoof, stopping him again. "They were trippin' over themselves like babes in the wood. I loved seeing that, made me feel happy seeing that"
"Oh, that's great. Really" The Ogre sarcastically replied
"Man, it's good to be free" He declared as the Ogre turned to him
"Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with own friends? Hmm?" Leaning down to the Donkey, suggesting before walking off again
"But... I don't have any friends, and I'm NOT going out there by myself" A flash of inspiration came to him. "Hey wait a minute, I got a great idea! I'll stick with you" Donkey returned happily to the Ogre, deaf to his annoyance. "You're a mean green fighting machine! With you, we'll scare the spit out of anybody who crosses us!" The Ogre halted and regarded Donkey for a moment being, he then turned and gave off an all might roar right into his face; hoping this would scare him off with nightmares for weeks. Although he just stared, now with an impressed look drawn on his face
"Oh, wow! That was really scary!" The Ogre just frowned and stomped away, can he not see to his demeanor of being a lone wolf?! "Now if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS!"
The Ogre continued walking, looking back and not hearing his nonestop chatterbox for about five seconds; he better enjoy this relief and hope that he lost 'em. Once again he was just not having it his way today as Donkey appeared looking down at him from above; atop of a fallen tree near the earth that the Ogre was walking in
"You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time..." The Ogre covered Donkey's mouth, muffling his little obnoxious tale and Donkey still would not shut up as he kept it held there; continuing to talk either way; he removed his hand,"Then I ate some berries, man I had some strong gasses leaking out of my butt that day"
"WHY are you following me?!" The Ogre asked, he was losing hope; nothing could shut Donkey up and he just needed to get away right now, all that was there for him was the Swamp he lived in
"I'll tell you way" Donkey leaped off the tree as he followed the Ogre, before breaking out into this obnoxious song as he and the Ogre were caught in the middle of some god damn musical
"Cause I'm all alone, there's no here beside me" He stopped in front of the Ogre as he wiggled his ass, the Ogre's right eye was half closed and his left eye was twitching in madness as Donkey continued. "My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me... but you gotta have faith-"
"Stop singing!" The Ogre yelled, he grabbed Donkey by the ears and tail as he moved him out of his way. "It's no wonder you don't have any friends!" He declared, how much longer will he able to take this unwanted attention that he is not used to for reasons to be explained later on
"Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest!" Donkey claimed, the Ogre only groaned
"Listen, little Donkey. Take a look at me: What am I?" He held out his arms and stood tall before him. Donkey looked from the Ogre's shoes to his head, who's face looked angry looking while he thought to himself
"Really tall?" was his first blunt guess
"No! I'm an Ogre, you know. "Grab your torch and Pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you?" He imitated an Ogre Hunter from the Village before asking, Donkey shook his head
"Nope" came the response
"Really?" A bit surprised the Ogre was
"Really, really" He happily assured
"Oh" The Ogre was not too sure on what to say next
"Man, I like you, what's your name?" The Ogre looked a little surprised. For over his lifetime alone in the Swamp, no one and no living being has ever asked him of his name for a very, very long time. It was as if though he had forgotten it himself, but he knew that it wasn't true at all; not even one would forget their own name of all things
"Uhh... Shrek" He replied after a moment, remembering before going on his way
"Shrek?" Donkey echoed, seeing if he got it right before following the now and forever named Ogre himself. "Well, you know what I like about you Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me-thing I like that. I respect that Shrek. You all right" He continued to follow Shrek up the hill as they came overhead across a small grassy meadow hill above that overlooked Shrek's Swamp. Donkey stared looked at the scene before him
"Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place a like that?" He asked with a hint of disgust, mostly discomfort, in his voice
"That... would be my home" Shrek claimed with his hands to his hips before heading down the other side of the hill. Donkey could only blink in response, he had really put his hoof in it now
"Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. it's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget" Shrek only shook his head as he continued downwards. "I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder" He followed him down
He continued after Shrek once again and stopped in front of the three signs: "BEWARE OGRE" which was the vertical birch wood moss growing sign, the horizontal brown "STAY OUT" sign and a third horizontal sign with a black skull and red lettering that read out: "DANGER" Donkey took a look at each of them all and asked,"I guess you don't uh.. entertain that much do you?"
"I like my privacy" Shrek claimed as he kept walking to his front door, Donkey trotted after him
"You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint and they won't leave. Then there's that big awkward silence you know?"
Shrek turned to face him, and the exact same thing that Donkey just said had happened. It was exactly like he could read his mind, since that's exactly what he was trying to do to him
"Can I stay with you?" He asked, Shrek was unclear and didn't understand; why would he want to stay with him of all people?
"Uh, what?"
"Can I stay with you, please?" He added in the magic word
"Of course!" Shrek declared lightheartedly as he smiled
"Really?" Donkey asked
"No..." Shrek bluntly denied
"PLEASE! I don't wanna go back there! You know what it's like to be living like a freak" Oh yeah that's right, he remembered what Shrek was after he forgot for a moment as he pushed Shrek onto his front door with his hooves. "Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay, please, please!" Donkey was getting hysterical, seeking this opportunity to have him shut up; he gave in to his demand
"OKAY! Okay..." Donkey dropped to the floor as Shrek opened his door inwards as he gave this little restriction first. "But one night only" He was about to enter before Donkey bolted in
"Ah! Thank you!"
"What are you...?" Donkey leapt onto Shrek's crocodile flesh recliner. "No, no!"
"This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories and in the mornin" He trotted around on the chair before sitting down as he finished with: "I'm makin' waffles!"
"Oh!" Shrek groaned as he held his hands out, as he was wanting to strangle the noisy intruder that was now inside his home. Donkey looked around and asked him
"Where do, uh... I sleep?"
"Outside!" Shrek screamed irritably, Donkey's ears drooped upon hearing that response
"Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go" He sniffled as got off his recliner and walked out sadly,"Goodnight..." He told him as Shrek slammed the door on him, with him sighing to himself
"You know, I do like the outdoors. I'm a Donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside" Shrek looked out before shaking his head and sighing to himself, walking away from the door to enjoy himself for the rest of the day as Donkey began singing the same song again; although more sorrowfully
"I'm all alone, there's no one here besides me..."
Tonight could only end so well when Shrek finds out what waits for him outside of his own home, but it's never easy being green now is it? But it can be big like a mountain, important like a river or tall like a tree, it's beautiful and it was just exactly what Shrek wanted to be. His Hero and Idol was The Incredible Hulk after all...