Of Robots and Empty Rooms
iBalls
The robot suit was new.
It wasn't that Sam hadn't been used to Freddie acting like a nubby dork. She'd gotten used to it years ago; had even grown to find it endearing. She was even used to him lousing up iCarly with his insistence on coming out from behind the camera where he should be.
You mean, like, when he kissed you at Troubled Waters?
Shut up.
But the silver robot suit he was in that looked like his mom had made it (and Sam wasn't sure she hadn't) was definitely new. Sam, though of course she never would have admitted it, ached with sympathy as her ex crashed almost as bad trying to be "creative" as he once had when hit by a taco truck.
Oh, Freddie. I tried to stop you.
He just kept reeling off what might've been called "jokes," in the 20th century...the first part of the 20th century. It was so uncomfortable and painful to watch that she couldn't, keeping her eyes instead on the camera with a look of strained agony.
Dear lord, he's awful. No performing instincts at all.
And you slept with him.
You took the risk, even though you were careful, of becoming a parent with this boy who right now is saying something about bugs and boots. Dodged a bullet there, Puckett.
Those would've been worries I just do not need.
Freddie...aw, Freddie. You just ain't got it, baby. Poor imagination – stunted, unfunny Freddie.
Freddie who held you so sensitively and with who you found amazing pleasures.
Dammit. Why did I have to fall for the kind of guy whose crazy – ass mother makes him sign an agreement every time he washes his hair, stipulating that he shampooed twice? Kind of guy, nothing, I fellfor that guy!
Don't think about him in the shower.
Dammit.
Sam went on reflexively performing as she tried to pull the iCarly for that day out of the ditch now that Freddie had mercifully exited, but her tank was nearly empty.
If another part of the hangover from dating the nub is that I can't enjoy his emotional pain anymore, I may jump off this building.
...
Later, she was trying to cheer him up; reminding him of the creativity he showed as their producer and other technical stuff like a recent idea he'd been trying-
"See, that's creative."
"But I could never make it work."
"Well...y'know...uh…"
"I should try again?"
'Yeah. That sounds like the kind of advice you'd get from someone who cares."
It had only been a week ago when he'd stood in front of her and Carly and intimated that only their brunette friend cared about him. So she wondered if he would catch the bitter edge in her last words.
But of course, he was oblivious.
Boys.
So many things she wanted to say to him about that, mainly:
You think I would've told you I loved you if I didn't care about you?
But she didn't, as they kept talking for a while. Then he took a deep breath and started heading upstairs to the studio to begin again.
And Sam said to the empty room:
"I care, nub."
…
iHalfoween
"Then who's in the robot costume?" Sam demanded, her voice revealing her upset They had just finished dangling from cords their enemy Nevel (they thought) dressed as a purple robot, about six feet from the ground then dropping him into a man-sized basket. It was filled with stuffed animals so it hurt but there was no risk of permanent damage.
They'd done this 20 times while they and the other party guests cheered.
But then Nevel revealed himself behind them in Carly's apartment. Which meant …
He released the seal he'd used to keep them from removing the head of the costume; Spencer and Gibby finally got it off and they all saw...Freddie. Long-suffering Freddie.
Shortly afterwards Carly and Sam managed to turn the tables on Nevel so that he did end up being dangled after all; they spent the rest of the night alternately letting him drop and leaving him swinging, suspended in the air.
At the end of the evening, when all the guests except the iCarlys had left, they finally let him down for good and were about to send him on his way. He didn't complain much. A lot of pepper had been knocked out of Papperman along with his wind.
He and Carly were in the doorway, Freddie on the couch, and Sam was at the far side of the room. Carly was looking for a clever insult to send him on his way when she heard a noise, a kind of "grrrr" that at first she couldn't place but as it grew in volume, she realized was coming from Sam. She stared over and saw a look on her best friends face that she hadn't seen since Gibby asked her to a school dance. It was monkey - crazy Sam, and she was starting to bound across the room to get at the obnoxious boy.
"You spectacular chiz – sucking-"
Luckily Freddie had seen it too and as Sam flashed by the couch he leapt up and grabbed her around the waist.
"Get him out of here," he yelled at Carly as he pulled a wildly fighting Sam into the elevator. Carly did as he said because if Sam got her hands on Nevel, she could see a long, drawn - out trial resulting that would involve spending who knows how many days in a courtroom with Nevel. Besides, she wasn't clear if Sam had passed the "tried as an adult" barrier. Oh yeah, and violence is never the answer or whatever. She pushed him into the hall (He didn't need much pushing. He'd been on the receiving end of one of Sam's rages before), slammed and locked the door.
Upstairs the elevator opened on the iCarly studio. Sam shot out, fell on one of the bean bags and proceeded to rip and beat the stuffings out of it. Freddie kept a good distance from her, letting her get her anger out while unobtrusively moving the more expensive equipment out of her reach.
When she finished, and there was not one bean left in the bag, she sat down on the little step and stared at the floor. She wouldn't look at Freddie. But he felt safe enough now to sit next to her.
"Sam?" he tried.
She said nothing.
"Sam?" He said again.
Still, nothing, and as usual he couldn't tell if she was ignoring him or just lost in her own thoughts. After a glance at the doorway to make sure no one else could hear he said, gently,
"Baby?"
This earned him a sharp upward turn of her head. Her eyes searched his face, and then she gave a small nod.
Encouraged, he asked,
"Why are you so mad? Nevel's been...Nevel to us before, and you almost never got to that point."
Now, once again, she wouldn't look at him, returning her stare to the floor.
"He made us hurt you. He made me…" Her voice didn't sound quite right to Freddie. At first he took it as anger, then when he turned to look at her, to his surprise he saw that her lower lip was trembling.
Deciding to risk what could be taken as a more – than – friendly gesture, he put his arm around her. In that moment, neither of them cared if it was friendly or something more.
"Baby," he said. "Look at me." She did, almost reluctantly.
"I'm okay. I'm right here. You didn't know."
That set her off again.
"But that's just it, I should've known! When we realized it wasn't Nevel in the costume, even before I asked who was, I got this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach because I suddenly became aware I didn't know when was the last time I saw you."
"You can't know where I am all the time."
She leaned into him. "I used to. In the days right before the lock-in, any time we were in the same space I was always acutely aware of where you were. I missed you when you were gone. I hadn't noticed till now, I'm not doing that anymore. And...I kinda miss it."
He didn't know what to say to that.
"I kinda miss...it," she said again. "Why wasn't I paying attention?"
'You're being too hard on yourself," he offered. "I don't blame you."
She turned and gave him the longest hug she had since before they broke up. Then they released each other and as if by unspoken agreement, rose and began silently picking up the pieces of the bean bag.
Just that she was sticking around to repair the consequences of her action made Freddie think again about how far she'd come, and why the most shocking thing about this outburst had been that it was shocking at all.
"I'm gonna see if Carly has any more ice cream," she said, heading for the door. Do you want any?"
"No," he said. "Carly doesn't have the flavor I like best." Delicious? You better believe it.
He wondered if she would remember but if she did she gave no sign of it.
Girls.
This girl.
She headed downstairs and Freddie said to the empty room,
"I kinda miss it too."
Thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next chapter. Which may be the last; if it is, it'll involve some guest stars...