Chapter 20 Sesshomaru's Desperate plea
She turns back to face him. "Stay back!" A sob breaks through. "You can't stop me." The barrier crackles angrily, roiling with her emotions. "You just told me you own me. I am no ones." Her voice pitches with desperation. "You insist we must be intimate and I cannot resist it." Avalon turns around stepping closer to the edge, debating if she can really jump and end her life. She was raised a Christian and was taught suicide would bring her to hell but she was already in hell wasn't she. Her tears flow 'I don't know what to do.'
He clenches his fist in fear that she will make good on her promise. "It is an honor to belong to one such as I." He moves closer cautiously. "Drop the barrier."
Avalon lets out a harsh laugh. "An honor to be owned. I don't want to be owned. Do you want to be owned?"
"How is this any different than a human pairing? The husband owns the wife. Drop the barrier."
"You don't know where I come from. No one owns anyone. A husband and wife are equals. Will we be equals?"
"You would put your traditions above that of my kind." He circles, shaking his head, frustrated.
"It was how I was raised. It was what I dreamed of before I was raped." Avalon looks over her shoulder.
"Why didn't you find a lover then? You let the rape define you."
"No I simply found comfort within myself. Before I came here I was fine in my daily life, I was successful, I was respected, men would beg to go out with me and I would simply turn them down. I had no need for a lover. One does not need another to be complete." She angrily replies. How dare he judge her. 'I wanted love, it's true, I was lonely at times but I was okay with it. As long as I didn't have to worry about getting hurt.' Avalon smiles thinking of the poster she had in her room of Sesshomaru. 'How ironic the only love I wanted was from you, but you won't love me.' A scowl comes on her face. 'You will only own me.' Tears start flowing. 'I thought you were safe.' A heart wrenching sob breaks through.'I was a fool to try to control you in anyway. You're more wild than anything I have ever known.'
"You had dreams before but refused to live them. What are you so afraid of? Why do you hide behind that barrier? Men would beg and you hid. This isn't the life you wanted. You cannot even tell yourself the truth."
"You can't get me to drop my barrier by taunting me. You are much faster than me. If I were to jump without it, you would stop me. I don't want you to stop me. I need answers, Sesshomaru. I can't live with only being a possession, I'd rather die. If you decide it's time for me to open my legs and I don't want to you'll take me anyway. I'm yours afterall right?" she says bitterly.
"I wouldn't rape you," he says tenderly. "Avalon...I will not ask you for this."
"But you just told me we will have to be intimate, meaning you will force me eventually! And since you own me, would it really be considered rape?" she accuses.
"Avalon," he says more sternly. "Look at me."
Avalon shakes her head stubbornly contemplating how painful it will be when she lands.
"I will not force you. That is not what is meant to happen when mates are bonded. I will not force you to my bed. Ever," he pleads with her. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. "It is meant to bring us closer together, not drive us apart."
"But no matter what I want, my urges will drive me to your bed right? I have no choice in this. I don't want that. I want to be in love and be loved not just...just" Avalons head shakes, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"You will not be forced. The urges will become more powerful the more we resist, but I will not force you." He tries again to drive his hand into the barrier, cringing from the pain of it prickling his skin with blisters.
"So what…what happens? We are intimate and then...what? Do I just become an obedient little ningen who obeys your every command? What happens when…when I…what will it be like being bonded to you?"
"I don't know," he says softly. "Does a man know a woman so well before they marry in your kind? You're scared and rather than facing it, you hide behind that barrier."
"We do know each other. When a man and woman marry they are together for a time and get to know about each other. Many even live together before they marry. So yes they know each other well. Stop touching the barrier it will only burn you. But don't think I will drop it out of pity."
He lets his yoki rise higher, allowing his hand to dip into the barrier, while his skin blisters. "I did not give you that time," he says guiltily. "This is not what should have happened. But you wanted to love a youkai. You have that chance now."
Avalon laughs bitterly. "But will that youkai ever love me?" Her shoulders slump as more tears fall off her chin.
"I don't know," he says softly, gritting his teeth as he tries to force his hand through the barrier. 'A little more and I will have her. Where is your fire Avalon?'
"Will you even try?" she asks dryly. "You made it pretty clear to me where I stand. I'm nothing to you. I'm worthless and you have no use for me. You didn't choose to bond me. It would be easy enough to shove me away. I won't do that, I won't be shoved to the side," Avalon puts more reiki into her barrier. She can smell the pungent odor of skin burning.
His strength is fading, but he forces his hand further in, he just needs the barrier to drop long enough to stop her. "Avalon," he tries to keep his voice steady. "Look at me?"
Avalon's head turns looking over her shoulder. "Yup. You're burning your hand pretty bad." Her vision flicks back to the water in front of her.
"Look in my eyes," he says sincerely. He won't allow her to jump.
Avalon turns around to look at him fully. She strengthens the barrier causing it to errode his flesh. Her bitterness and a slight maliciousness seeps through. "I told you I wouldn't pity you and drop it." Avalon takes a step back hovering one foot over the edge. 'I can end this now, with just one more step.'
"Did you see this future?"
Avalon answers flatly, "No I didn't. I wasn't here. I'm not supposed to be here. Even more reason for me to die."
"Take my hand," he ignores the pain in his hand. "There is a reason you are here. If this future was not what was meant to be, how can you tell this Sesshomaru how he will feel? You will not be forced, you will be honored."
"I don't understand what that means and I can only look at what I know of this time. You told me I am yours. Tell me what it means to be owned by you?"
He shakes his head. "How can I ask you to understand like this? Your life has value, Avalon. You fear a future that is unknown. Trust me, please," the desperation in his voice surprises even him. He shouldn't care whether she jumps or not, yet his heart is desperate to save her. "This last time, trust me."
"Trust you?! TRUST YOU?!" Avalon laughs "You lied to me, you nearly killed me and now I should trust you? You abandoned me to Naraku," her voice breaks as her knees fall out from beneath her.
He goes to his knees with her, biting his bottom lip as he plunges his hand through the barrier to grasp her wrist, fighting the pain he's in. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "Trust me, this last time, as you did before."
Avalon screams, "NOOOO!" But she makes no move to pull her arm out of his grasp.
"I won't hurt you," he says, weakly caressing her wrist with his thumb. "Trust me."
Avalon shakes her head as she weeps bitterly.
He chances forcing the rest of his body through the barrier, burning himself from head to toe with her power. He pulls her into his chest, rocking her. "You're safe now. None will hurt you again."
Avalon wraps her arms around him burying her head in chest "Don't hurt me, please," she whispers.
"You will...tell me...when you are ready," he tries to reassure her as flecks of skin start to fly off from the barrier. "Release the barrier." He sags against her, losing consciousness. "I won't hurt you."
Avalon's barrier shatters around her as she continues to cry into his side.
He attempts to force his eyes open, so painfully weak from the loss of his arm, from the battle the day before and now this. "Forgive me Avalon." He attempts to hold her, but his arm stings. "I am sorry. Don't jump," he mutters before the blackness finally takes him, stealing his consciousness.
Avalon can't even think right, she just cries until she falls asleep against him toppling both of them to the ground. She wakes a little while later and whispers "I'm sorry I hurt you." Avalon curls her legs up to her breasts and wraps her arms around them still confused by all that she feels. Her body is yearning for his. She watches Sesshomaru as he sleeps.
He rolls onto his side, still bare from the waist up, his pelt wrapping under his head.
Avalon tentatively reaches out and brushes her hand through his bangs. Then pulling her hand back she looks around reaching out with her senses. No yokai are around but men were around. Avalon frowns looking at her clothes or lack of clothes. "Sesshomaru you didn't take us far enough." Avalon summons a barrier that obscures people's views and starts rocking herself. Whether they could see or not was could not enter. It would have to do till Sesshomaru was recovered.
Avalon grabs the remains of the shredded clothes and puts them on the best she can. She watches as the sun makes its way across the sky as her stomach growls at her. 'I haven't eaten since last night. When are you going to wake up?' Avalon grabs his shoulder and shakes him. "Wake up!"
Sesshomaru moves with the hand shaking him.
"Grrrr! Why won't you get up?" Avalon pulls her hand away bringing it to rub her face.
He begins to groan in his sleep. His right arm slides up to cup the stump on the other side. "Tetsusaiga," he mutters in his sleep, his body heating. "Give me Tetsusaiga." His body begins to shake with chills, teeth chattering, skin reddening.
"Sesshomaru?" Avalon looks over at him with alarm on her face. She feels his forehead, it's boiling. "Shit! You're running a fever." She gets up looking about. "Crap! crap! crap! Come on, think girl."
Just then she hears a familiar voice. "Sesshomaru-sama where are you?"
Avalon looks through her barrier and sure enough the little imp had found them, but was lost, not being able to see them through the barrier. Avalon lowers it.
Jaken jumps back suddenly seeing Avalon sitting next to an unconscious, writhing Sesshomaru. "What did you do to him!? You treacherous wench?"
"I...uh...well...um...forget...it. He needs water and a fire."
"What?" Jaken rushes over to Sesshomaru and looks him over still unsure of what has happened. "His yoki seems to be depleted. There must have been a great battle." His head turns his eyes ablaze. "You!"
Sesshomaru's body rolls onto the side where the stump is, only for a whimper to leave his lips and his body rolls onto the other side again. "Tetsusaiga…" His lips tremble as his free hand leaves indents on the stump, trying to stop the pain. "Pain…"
"Me?" Avalon squeaks, "Jaken how do we help him?"
"What are you doing with my Lord? And half naked?"
"I'm guarding him till he wakes up...and about our clothes well-" Avalon's cheeks redden "You will have to ask him."
"Well his yoki is gathering and he's in pain. I wasn't able to get the arm."
Sesshomaru's breathing speeds, the air comes in and quickly, his heart racing to compensate for the pain he is. He groans again, unable to find a comfortable position.
"Avalon!" Jaken yells at her. "He's in pain." Jaken starts crying.
"Well I don't know yokai medicine! What can help him? He's shivering and he has a fever or at least I think it is, so I was going with fire and water to help with that. But it does nothing for pain."
Jaken paces thinking.
The growls grow louder next to them but quickly change to howls of pain.
Avalon covers her ears then she pulls her hands away wanting to apply pressure to the wound but not wanting to hurt him more or get hurt in the process. "What about Natsushirogiku (feverfew)? It's known to help pain and fever."
"You can try it. I've never seen him like this...Avalon exactly what happened?" Jaken scurries to the stump and leans near the end. "This should still be bleeding. What happened?" Jaken has to shout to be heard over Sesshomaru's howls.
"A lot happened Jaken, but that doesn't matter right now. Watch him for a few moments. I'll go get the plant." Avalon rushes off looking for Natsushirogiku. She knew it was common and grew pretty much everywhere. She finds what she is looking for and picks the herb and runs back. "I got it!"
"It does matter!" Jaken runs after her. "You don't understand, if he used will power to heal," he shakes his head. "Did he force his wounds closed?"
"Ummm yeah, I think so, why?"
He shakes his head, shivering. "It used up too much of his yoki. It's why he's in pain. Usually it covers some of the pain and heals him but this is different and if there were more injuries...help him? Please?"
"Alright, alright. I hope I don't get killed by giving him this." Avalon puts the herb in her mouth and starts chewing.
Jaken paces back and forth nervously. 'He's going to be in pain for weeks after this. Look at his perfect body! Ruined!'
Avalon walks over cautiously and grabs his chin, bringing his lips to her mouth. She spits the juices she made into his mouth while massaging his throat. She backs up before taking more of the herb and chewing.
He feels the moisture in his mouth, dripping into the back of his esophagus, while pressure fills his neck. He swallows, coughing. His world is a blur of white and red. His fingers flex around the stump again, trying to will the pain away.
Avalon finishes emulsifying the herb in her mouth. She comes back and grabs his chin again and pushes her lips to his forcing the concoction into his mouth. She grabs his throat and massages it again to get him to swallow it. "I hope this works. Jaken I need water."
Sesshomaru feels it again, the herbs in his throat. He doesn't lash out at the lips touching his. He knows they are from the one who is his. His eyes flutter lightly and his hand cups her chin holding her forehead in place, as if breathing her breath will ease his pain. He can't stop shaking. It's as if some other power has taken over his body. "Pain…" he whispers.
Jaken nods and runs for the nearby river, filling up a bowl shaped rock with the fluid.
Avalon rests her forehead against his. "I know. Can you hear me Sesshomaru? I'm trying to help."
"Tetsusaiga." He shivers coughing and then gagging.
"Crap, Sesshomaru." Avalon rolls him over falling with his body since he is still holding her face. "Let me go please." She sits with her rear end up and her head down to the side awkwardly leaning on her shoulder.
He releases her face only to cup his missing limb again, massaging it furiously as the howling slowly subsides.
"Here's the water." Jaken passes her the rock.
Avalon takes the water and sips some of it. She places Sesshomaru's head on her lap and brings her lips down to his and passes the water through the mouth. She massages his throat again and sets his head down to lay on her lap with him facing towards her. "Jaken how long do you think he will be out?"
Sesshomaru still pants after he drinks the water. "Avalon," the name barely escapes his mouth.
Avalon runs her hands through his hair in a soothing motion. "I'm here Sesshomaru. I'm here." She takes another sip of water and passes it through their lips again massaging his throat for him to swallow.
He reaches out for her hands in the euphoria of his fever, pushing them to the stump. "Pressure," he chokes out, still barely conscious, nearly seizing in agony. "Pain...p...pressure…"
Avalon shakes her head. "If you think so." She pushes her hand on the stump putting pressure. It won't hurt him but it won't likely help either.
He buries his nose in the crook of his elbow, still breathing heavily, gripping the ground. His eyes open as slits, long enough to stare at her. "Stay," he begs, too delirious to care how he sounds.
"More pressure, Avalon," Jaken encourages her. "It's helping."
Avalon puts more pressure on his arm while looking at Sesshomaru's face. "I'm not going anywhere." Tears slip from her eyes. 'I can't believe I hurt him so bad. He wasn't like this when Inuyasha took his arm in the series.'
He reaches up and pulls her down next to him. "I….need...you…" he gasps for air, swallowing hard, burying his nose in her hair, slowly falling asleep again.
Avalon eyes widen. 'You need me?' She stays in place, not wanting to disturb his rest. She whispers,"Jaken, how long do you think he will be like this?"
"Tomorrow, maybe the day after. The pain might linger but he should wake up tomorrow...I think." Jaken wipes a tear from his eyes, then suddenly sees Avalon held down by his Lord. "What are you doing now, Onna!"
"Well he seems comfortable. I don't want to cause him any discomfort."
Jaken only sighs, "can you keep the pressure until tomorrow? He'll sleep better without pain."
Avalon's eyes widen."I'm human and I'm hungry and I'm tired. What do you think?"
"I'll find food, Onna...maybe you can wrap it? Poor Sesshomaru-sama and that wretched Inuyasha."
Avalon shakes her head. 'Well I guess it's no worse than being in Naraku's clutches.' She shrugs out of her clothing, leaving her chest exposed before she starts wrapping the stump. She grabs her sword and cuts the other leg of her hakama off and slits it in half to wrap around her breasts.
Jaken runs around Sesshomaru's side and peers over his back. "He's sleeping soundly now. If he can stay like this for a day, it should be enough...What did you do to him?" Jaken balks again. "You wicked onna! If he didn't need you right now!" he bursts into tears again.
"Jaken, I think I will let Sesshomaru tell you what happened, when he wakes. If he wishes to tell you."
"I'll go find food," Jaken says glumly leaving them.
In his sleep Sesshomaru presses his lips against Avalon's skin, exhaling as his body slowly stabilizes.
Avalon feels his lips brush against her arm and feels his aura calming. She whispers, "I'll stay by you if you need me." She lays next to him waiting for Jaken to return.
He can feel the heat and smell the familiarness. He moves closer in his sleep, his head coming to rest in between her breasts, while his nose nuzzles into her neck. He breathes heavily, deep in sleep.
Avalon sighs. 'Great I can only imagine what Jaken will think.' She relaxes but then notices heat building in her core. Desire starts to flare within her. 'What in the hell did you do to me, Sesshomaru?' She encircles her arms around his neck resting them on his back.
Avalon slumbers in Sesshomaru's arm. Her head pushes into his face as she shifts slightly waking him up.
His nose finds its way into her hair, while his hand slides in the side of the fabric of her pants she wears to cover her chest. It slides up her neck in his sleep, then across her collarbone, travelling down to rest near her breast.
Avalon's eyes snap open at the wandering hand. She starts to panic, thinking she is back in Naraku's clutches and pulls away. Then she sees the pale flesh, the stripes and realizes it's Sesshomaru's arm. She hits his hand. "Let me go!"
He lazily opens his eyes, growling lowly, "Lower your voice." He rolls onto his back, shielding his eyes with his wrist, still waking up. He groans then cups the stump. 'I'm not used to this pain.' He massages the skin to loosen the ache, finding it wrapped in bandages. "What is this?" he asks Avalon.
Avalon scrambles away, turning around to look at him. She hugs herself rubbing her arms. "You were in a lot of pain and the pressure seemed to help."
He winces, unwrapping the bandages, inspecting the skin. "Jaken!"
Jaken jumps at his name being called by his master. He is thrilled to see him awake. "Hai my Lord!"
"Did you bring the arm?" Sesshomaru asks him, attempting to retie the bandages. He wraps them around the stump, but is unable to tie it himself, with one hand.
Avalon moves over to help tie the bandages.
Jaken starts to stutter. "I... I... I am sorry my Lord. I was unable to retrieve it." He lowers himself to the ground bowing his head. "Please forgive me?"
Sesshomaru picks up a rock and throws it violently at his head, hitting it's mark sending Jaken flying. "Dammit!" He cringes again, holding the stump, trying again to tie the bandage around his arm. "Find me a new arm!"
Jaken gets up stumbling around from the blow not even looking at his Lord. "I will find you an arm my Lord." He starts walking away in a zigzag pattern, slowly leaving Avalon and Sesshomaru alone.
"Let me tie them." Avalon tries grabbing the bandages.
He stares off blindly at the trees and closes his eyes. "Tightly."
Avalon grabs the ends pulling the bandages tightly as he asked, "Is this enough or should I try to tie it tighter. I worry for your circulation."
"Circulation?" he mutters annoyed. "Tighter."
"Alright, but I'm going to insist on untying it to examine it after a little while." Avalon pulls the wrapping as tight as she can.
He snarls, feeling fire flash through his shoulder. "You know nothing of youkai injuries. This will heal."
"I may not know youkai injuries but I know you bleed, so I have to assume you need blood to feed your flesh to keep it from dying." Avalon huffs crossing her arms defensively.
He snorts annoyed, then stands, stretching his arm. He goes to the river after and cups water in his palm, patting it onto the bandages, sighing at the cold water against his skin. He can feel the burn again, the one telling him to bed Avalon. He glances over his shoulder at her.
Avalon hugs herself rubbing her arms looking at him. She can feel herself wanting to be with him and is so confused by it. "Sesshomaru, what did you do to me? I'm...uh...how do I say this? I feel...I need you. What in the hell is going on?" Fear and anger lace with her lust for him.
He closes his eyes, sloshing the water over his stump one last time. When they open, they are red, large and dilating. His energy radiates off him as he bounds into the air as a white ball of light and lands in front of Avalon in his true form. 'Fear, she still fears this Sesshomaru.' The first step to her makes him trip, forgetting that he only has three legs to work with. He glares at the stump angrily. 'I'm going to look like a fool,' he realizes all too late as he stalks forward, balancing his weight more evenly on the three limbs and then hobbling lightly back to Avalon. He cranes his neck down and nudges her with his nose towards his back, then lays down on his belly waiting.
Avalon looks at him incredulously. "You want me to get on your back?"
He licks her cheek and nudges her again, groaning quietly. 'This still hurts.' He looks forlornly at the stump.
Avalon walks over to the stump and looks up at him. "I wish I could heal this for you." She continues walking to climb on his back.
'It's your fault it's taking this long.' He rolls his eyes, rising onto his feet once he feels her situated. If she hadn't attacked him when he was at his weakest and he hadn't injured her to the point of death and then...he would have more yoki to spare for his missing arm.
He inhales the air deeply, ravenously, his stomach cramping. Food, he needs to eat. He finds his quarry further down the river, in the form of a herd of wild boars. He lands downwind from them, purposely sitting down to make Avalon lose her grip. She hangs off the fur of his neck, while he playfully shakes her to get her off.
Avalon huffs, "You could have just landed and set your head down." She leaps down landing on her feet.
He nudges her towards the river that flows gently and growls softly again. She stinks of Naraku.
Avalon looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "You want me to bathe?"
He gives her a more forceful nudge knocking her into the water, then turns away as he stalks his prey, slightly off balance from the use of only one arm. His steps are silenced as he crouches down and then leaps into the herd and devours one boar whole, then another and another and a third before hacking into the neck of a fourth.
Avalon looks on scornfully at him as she strips her now soaked, scraps of clothes off and scrubs her body in the cold water. 'Rude.' She scrubs herself the best she can before making her way out of the water, teeth chattering from being cold. "You happy now?"
'She must be hungry,' he thinks, coming back with a boar in his mouth and throwing it next to her on the ground. He avoids gazing at her naked body, turning away to allow her to cover herself. He lays down on his stomach again, relaxing in the sun. The heat is warm against his white fur.
Avalon wrings out the clothing as best she can and puts them back on. Still cold, still wet, and still pissed. "You know I can't just instantly dry off?" her voice is rough as she shivers. A smirk crosses her face as she stands up and leaps at him and uses his fur as a towel.
'So you want to play?' He turns his body so she rolls onto his stomach then off the other side, until he is back on his stomach. He bites the back of her shirt and pulls her into his chest panting warm air on her, then licks her face. The motion makes the stump twinge but he ignores it.
"No-no-no, I'm trying to get dry." She pushes at his muzzle.
He licks her again and nuzzles her stomach until she buckles laughing.
She tries talking through her laughter. "Se...Sessh…Sesshomaru we need to talk," she finally gets out.
He nudges her with his nose again, this time bumping against her face and then walks to the trees, pulling down a large dried branch, dropping it in front of her. He hacks it apart with his claws until it's in manageable pieces, then pushes her backside to the pile. He grunts at her then growls, waiting for her to light the fire.
"You think I can just light a fire?" Avalon goes and picks up two sticks. She holds one in her hand and uses the other to rub starting to create friction. "You know this is going to take forever, or you can transform and start the fire yourself."
He lazily lays down in front of the fire, letting the acid drip from his fangs until it begins to spark, then blows on it to feed the flames. He cocks an arrogant brow at Avalon stretching, then motioning her to the boar.
'So this is how you are going to play it huh?' Avalon lays back and looks up at the sky ignoring his instructions.
He's entertained by her boldness and decides to see if she will stay play. He pokes her stomach with his muzzle, then leans in wiggling his nose until she is giggling again.
Avalon grabs her stomach and looks at him evilly before getting up and walking towards the boar to only stop short and make a barrier around herself. She sits indian style and props her elbow down on her knee and rests her chin on her fist smirking at him. She raises her eyebrow.
Two could play at this game. He gets up and goes to the river to drink the cool water, lapping gratefully as the water rushes down his parched throat. He lays down by the bank, dipping the stump into the water, sighing at the release of pain from the cold water lapping against it. He could wait.
Avalon watches as he lays with his stump in the water feeling bad. "Did the Natsushirogiku help with the pain?" she asks.
He gazes at her confused, wrinkling his eyebrows, not remembering what had transpired the night before. 'Did she give me something?' All he recalled was pain, agony, torment, like he was being burned alive.
"Uhhh...you don't remember do you? I gave you Natsushirogiku. It seemed to help. Do you want me to give you some more? To see if it might help with the pain now?"
He looks up lazily from the gentle currents flowing past his stump and exhales defeated. 'I'm weak.' He nods, refusing to meet her gaze, then sets his muzzle over his arm again, closing his eyes.
Avalon drops the barrier to get up and search for the herb. Finding some, she picks it and then looks for some more. It was plentiful in this area. She found some more and gathered a large handful. She brings it back to where Sesshomaru is laying by the river. "Um...I think it would be easier for you to eat these in your humanoid form. You just chew them and swallow the juice. You don't need to eat the actual plant."
He lifts himself slowly out of the water and walks over to Avalon. He leans down staring at her affectionately with softened eyes. 'Are you so concerned about this Sesshomaru?' He rests his muzzle just in front of her hands puffing hot air onto her body, putting his nose against her chest softly.
Avalon uses the hand not holding the herb to rub his nose. Her stomach growls loudly. She moves her hand to cover her tummy. "Oh I'm so hungry. You mind if I get the food ready to eat for me?" She looks at him still wishing she could take away his pain.
He gives her a nudge with his muzzle and as she walks away back to the fire, he transforms back to his humanoid form and follows behind her. The pain is less, but a dull ache remains. He stays behind her, quietly watching her without speaking, still in only hikama. 'We'll need new clothes.'
Avalon leans down grabbing one leg of the boar. She pulls it away from his body. She lets it go to pull her sword from her obi. She slices downwards cutting the limb cleanly for the animal. She swings the sword to get as much blood off as possible and runs the blade along what is left of her hakama then sheaths the blade. She leans down to grab the leg and walks over to the fire, places it in the flames, not caring if the skin burns. She turns, seeing Sesshomaru in his human form. She walks up to him. "Here, chew these and swallow the juices." She offers him the herbs in her hand.
He glances down at the herbs. "You gave these before?" He sniffs them curiously.
"Yeah. They are Natsushirogiku. They are used to help ease pain in humans but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try and they seemed to help you."
He sniffs the herb in her hand again, raising an eyebrow. "You tried to kill this Sesshomaru and yourself."
"Yeah." She looks down ashamed. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to but I had no control over it."
He lifts the herbs out of her hand and eats them, chewing them and grimacing at the bitter taste. "You are trying to kill this Sesshomaru." He forces himself to swallow the juices then spits out the leaves.
Avalon exclaims, "NO! They just taste horrible but they help with pain."
He approaches the fire and sits near it, understanding he has to tell her the reason behind the flaming passion she feels and that he feels it too. There are questions he has and fear still lingers on her skin. He knows she was violated, over and over. 'I cannot ask her to give herself now.' Subconsciously he rubs his missing arm again until he realizes what he is doing and pats the grass next to him, inviting her to join him.
Avalon looks over at him and thinks for a moment whether she wants to sit near him at this point. She decides to go sit by him. "Are the herbs helping?"
He's already humiliated but refuses to look at her when he answers. "Less. Sit closer." He opens his arm. "Your cold."
Avalon looks up at him considering. She was cold but she wasn't sure about being so close to him. She shivers and then decides to lean into his side for warmth.
He rubs her shoulder to warm her and removes his pelt, wrapping it around her body. "How did you want it to be?" He avoids her eyes for fear of losing control. She's chilled next to him, but he wants her to feel comfortable with him. "The man you would have loved? The one you wanted to marry?"
Avalon looks down considering. "I wanted us to respect each other. I figured he would want to make me happy and I would want to make him happy too. Why do you ask?" Avalon looks at the fire.
"It isn't an insult to be owned, to belong. Female Inu-youkai look forward to it, almost as a right of passage. The ceremonies are private and she submits to the male. But it's not a full submission," he closes his eyes, unsure how to explain it. He digs his fingers into the dirt and pulls moist dirt up, then rolls one against his leg into the ball, then the other. "When they are separate but together," he holds them, the sides touching, "they are still individuals. But if one supersedes the other," he closes his hand around both pieces, mushing them together. "They both cease to exist. What happened...what I did to save your life, is like a human marriage. It's why this hurts," he cups the stump. "I used too much of my yoki to heal you, to stop you from jumping."
"So we are married?"
"Married, mated…" he shrugs his shoulders passively, unsure what to say next.
"But I never asked for this. I'm supposed to choose who I'm to marry and you say I'm to submit to you. You can't possibly understand the implications."
"It was not my intention when I healed you," he finishes speaking slowly, unsure of what else to say.
"Can't anything be done to break this marriage, mate whatever you want to call it?"
He shakes his head. "Death. Yours or mine."
"Well that isn't an option. So I will be an individual but I will have to bow to your will. Won't I?" Avalon's voice drops, she knows enough about this time to know how it works.
"Does submission scare you?" He drops the dirt onto the grass.
"Submission. I'm not a submissive person. It goes against everything I was taught. I was violated so many times, Sesshomaru and I can't see myself being submissive again. So does it scare me, no, it terrifies me."
"I wouldn't take you by force, you know this." He closes his eyes, trying to force her scent out of his nose and calm his stomach.
"I know you won't but this is just too much." Avalon stares at the fire. "My body is yearning for you but my mind is reeling from everything. I just got free from Naraku and now I'm already bound to you. What about me? Where does my wants matter?"
He listens carefully, smelling her fear rising. "I won't ask you for intimacy now, not until you are ready. Wants?" He has no idea what she is asking about. "What wants?"
"I want to have a partner in life, someone who will respect me and love me." She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter what I want, does it? I'm yours and that is all there is to it," she says bitterly.
"You confuse submission with subjugation."
"Then tell me what a day as your submissive partner will be like." She inhales deeply smelling the clean rain scent as she feels her body wanting to move more intimately onto him. She closes her eyes and focuses on what she needs to know, what is this life she is stuck in now.
"This is submission," he says quietly, his lips brushing against her ear as he speaks. He runs his fingers up and down her exposed arms.
"Cuddling?"
"Being close to this Sesshomaru when he asks," he says proudly. "You should eat."
"Ugggg." Avalon moves away to grab the leg out of the fire. "And what happens when I want to be close to you but you don't want me near?" She sets the meat out to cool a little before eating it.
"You never want space for yourself to think?" he asks, completely confused. "Females…"
"That isn't what I meant. Okay, let me rephrase this. What happens when you want me near but I want space?"
His eyebrows knit together. "Are you incapable of telling this Sesshomaru you need space?"
"So I can just say I need space and you will be fine with it? No arguing?"
"I have never been bound before Avalon," he says leaning back against his arm. "You expect to know everything now?"
Avalon sighs. "I'm just trying to understand what this submissive thing is. You tell me it's different from subjugation. So I'm just trying to figure it out."
He's taken by a wave of pain and grips his missing arm, bending over on himself. He pants catching his breath. "I will not ask you to lose yourself." He forces himself straight again, he groans, embarrassed to show so much pain in front of Avalon.
Avalon rushes over to him and embraces him. "I'll go grab some more Natsushirogiku.'' She releases him and goes to grab some more leaves. She returns within moments offering the herbs to him.
He takes them chewing gratefully, swallowing and spitting the leaves out. He lays down on his side, moving some of the spare branches to cradle his head, while staring at the sky.
Avalon shakes her head. She grabs the leg of pork and walks over to him. She gets down on her knees "You don't have to lay on branches." She sits with her legs out. "Here." She pats her thighs, inviting him to lay his head on her legs
The corners of his mouth upturn weakly and he lifts his trunk back up, and scoots over to her legs. He lays down, with his head in her lap, still on his side, holding her around the waist. He buries his nose in her stomach, breathing deeply to distract himself, only getting wind of how hot and bothered she is. He nuzzles her belly. "This is also submission." Then he takes one hand, putting it on the stump and whispers, "pressure."
Avalon uses one hand to put pressure on his arm. While she takes a small bit of the leg held in her other hand chewing it. She swallows then says, "You're lucky I like you."
He snorts. "You're lucky I saved your life. I would not be in this pain if I had let you die."
Avalon looks down. "You are lucky I broke through," she says softly as tears slip from her eyes. "I'm so sorry Sesshomaru."
"As am I," he whispers, rubbing her back. He grits his teeth again, moving closer into her stomach. "I did not...want this to happen to you."
"Ah...can't change the past now can we?" She chuckles once. "Did you ever find the arrow?"
"Arrow?" His breath is coming out faster. "Both hands." 'I don't beg,' he rebukes himself, but his arm feels like it's on fire again. Like it's on a roast.
Avalon takes one last big bit of the leg laying it down. She chews as she puts both hands on his stump pressing down with as much weight as she can. She finally swallows "Is this enough?"
He nods against her belly. "You will not tell Jaken of this." His pride is plundered.
She laughs. "I won't tell a soul. It's beneath me to gab."
He slowly relaxes with the pressure, breathing more evenly. "I'm sorry, Avalon." He kisses her stomach, with his eyes closed. "I should not have left you."
Her eyes harden and she stiffens. "No, you shouldn't have." Her body slumps. "Why couldn't you have just listened to me? You knew I wasn't lying."
He exhales. "Not to yourself. Would you have believed a woman comes dressed in strange clothing, not looking like someone from this land and asks your protection, then throws herself at you?...It is possible to believe the truth so deeply, that the signs of subterfuge are lost." He closes his eyes, resting. "Perhaps you were just crazy."
"I am crazy, obviously," she huffs.
"No," he mutters. "Strong-willed, Avalon. You will be treated with honor by my side, respect. You will not fear submission."
"But you want me to be submissive. What happens when I don't agree with something?"
"Do your couples not speak to each other?"
"Of course we do."
"There are times compromise won't be an option, when those times happen, I will expect you to yield, for your sake."
"Like with what? Do you think I would act foolishly and put myself in danger?"
"You are too defensive, arrogant," he mutters into her stomach, groaning as the herbs seem to finally begin to take the pain in his arm. "The things you have experienced, the violations, they make you narrow minded. You will trust me in those moments." He rolls onto his back, breathing more freely, cupping her chin. "This is submission, do you fear it?"
"I don't fear helping you or making you comfortable but I know what it means to be a wife in this land. You have the final say in everything. I fear that."
"You carry too many worries, too many sorrows, too many scars."
"I have taken care of myself since I was 17. It's what I know. I provided the food and shelter. I didn't answer to anyone. Even when I traveled with you, it was so short. When I was with Keade it was short as well. But when Naraku took me my life changed so much. I'm not the same person you met originally. I keep the worries, the sorrows, the scars, they are mine. They are who I am now."
He shakes his head, taking her hands from his missing limb and putting them on his heart. "They are ours now. Would the youkai you met have rested his head in the lap of a human for anything other than pleasure? Perhaps we are both not who we were."
Avalon shakes her head. "You have changed. Perhaps it isn't as hopeless as I feared." Her lips curl up slightly.
"When you are ready," he caresses her chin. "You will share yourself with this Sesshomaru and when this," he nods his head at the missing limb, "hurts less."
"So how does this work. Why am I feeling such strong urges?"
"It's a natural feeling after a bonding that won't be satiated until after we are intimate. I won't ask it of you now, not now, when you fear me so."
"I don't fear you Sesshomaru."
He smiles lazily, gazing up at her face and tracing her chin with the back of a crooked finger.
"I fear intimacy," she says as she looks away from him.
"I know," he says quietly. "I wouldn't hurt you."
Avalon shakes her head. "I don't... think you would hurt me. That isn't it."
"Tell me," he finally feels like he can sit up. He folds his legs in and takes one of her hands in his. "Tell me what part scares you."
"I want to trust that I will be happy as your partner. I fear we may fight a lot. I fear that as you touch me, embrace me, take me. I will suddenly think I am in his clutches again. I fear that."
"Do men and women not fight where you are from? Mother nearly killed father once in argument. Whip around the neck, she ended on his back, with his head beneath her foot. As for intimacy," he combs her hair with his claws, "it is why I won't ask it of you now. The urges will build until we consummate this bond, but if it means creating distance between us, to stop myself I will."
"See, we humans fight but I don't ever want to hurt you or you hurt me and your father left your mother." A tear slips down her face. "Will you leave me?"
"He didn't leave her," he chuckles. "She left him. They were never bound. She said it was because he was weak, emotional and annoying. He did bind himself to Izayoi."
"Why were they together then?"
"She was in heat," he says plainly, "and until I reached adolescence, they were both necessary to raise this Sesshomaru. After that," he shrugs his shoulders. "She prefers her solitude."
"Inu-youkai are odd."
"Humans are odd," he counters.
"No just me. I'm foolish enough to follow a youkai." Avalon shakes her head
He exhales heavily. "We will do something about this embarrassment. It is an honor to be bound to this Sesshomaru. If you were not meant for this Sesshomaru, what I did may have saved your life, but without the bond between us." He scoots closer holding out his arm again in invitation. "You will show pride in this bond."
"I will feel what I feel. You can't change that with words." she stays where she is
"You will feel pride," he argues frustrated. "Do you know how many women have laid themselves at the feet of this Sesshomaru in hopes that I would take them as a mate? Virgins? You will learn pride," he speaks firmly.
"Do you know how many women have laid at your feet? How many you have taken? Why would that make me feel any pride? I didn't ask for this and I never slept with you."
"You will learn pride," he repeats himself. "If not now, eventually. Compromise."
Avalon falls backwards onto the ground. "AHHHH! This Avalon is frustrated!"
"Frustrating," he leans over her, cocking his head to the side. "We could remove one of these, and see how frustrating life gets," he jiggles her left arm.
"Leave my arm alone. At least you are a male and get to be the head of the family."
"Strange customs in your world. Why would a man submit to a female?" He becomes pensive, then his mind flashes back to the battle, when he was fighting her, just before Naraku lost control. "You care for this Sesshomaru. You cried...why did you cry? The day we fought?"
"No one submits. They are equals. I don't understand why that's so hard for you to understand." Avalon shakes her head. "Yeah, I care about you. I didn't want to hurt you. I need you to live. You are essential to killing Naraku. The sword I told you of, Bakusaiga. I wasn't making it up. I had to break free. I was going to kill you and I didn't want to do that."
"Mother submits to no one. She would like you," he says softly. "I enjoy your...fire," he leans his forehead against hers. "It is desirable, for the mate of this Sesshomaru to be strong, willful. Do you know what happens if you hold a butterfly too tightly?" He's spellbound by her eyes, whispering.
"You kill it."
"I will not take away what makes you, Avalon."
Avalon leans her head to brush her lips against his. "I'm not meant for a submissive role. I truly hope you can understand that I will stand up to you."
"You will not use that sword against this Sesshomaru again." He rubs his chest where she stabbed him, "when you stand up."
"As long as you aren't using your claws or other demonic powers?"
"I will not."
"Then I have no need for my sword."
"You said he threatened Hikari?" He hadn't forgotten that, staring stupidly into her eyes, wanting to taste her lips again.
"He told me either I had to be his or she would take my place. If I were dead, she would be safe now." Avalon's head lowers, she whispers, "Sesshomaru if he knows I'm alive...she's in danger. What am I going to do?"
"Move her somewhere safe. I am unsure where. She is human."
Avalon looks up at him with tears in her eyes, her voice quivers, "I have to go back to him."
"No!" He tightens his hold around her waist. "We will move her and if there is nowhere safe enough, she will stay with this Sesshomaru until he is destroyed. I will not allow you to go back to him. You belong to this Sesshomaru."
Avalon turns into Sesshomaru and wraps her arms around him. "I can't let him have her. There isn't anywhere safe. I have to go back. I don't want to, but I'm so scared for her." He can feel her tears fall on his shoulder.
"No," he says softly again, next to her ear. "She will travel with this Sesshomaru."
Avalon shakes her head. She knew how Rin was captured. "You can't be there all the time to protect her."
"And you will no longer sacrifice yourself for her. You are powerful enough to stop him. She will be guarded by you or I. Avalon," he picks up her chin and kisses her tenderly. "Submit and trust this Sesshomaru. Your fear clouds your reason."
Tears flow down her cheeks as she kisses him pressing her lips firmly against his. "I only pray you are right." She leans her head on his shoulder as she continues to cry.
"We will leave soon. Do you need more to eat?"
Avalon clings to him. "I can't eat anything more."
He nods standing up, bringing her with him. Asking for things is not typically in his nature, but he can't demand this of her either. "Are you comfortable...like this?" He wraps his arm around her waist firmly securing her to his naked side. "Or I can transform again."
Avalon considers their position. She can feel his bare skin against hers. She says, "This will be fine." As much as the desire rages in her, the thought of Hikari being in danger was like a cold shower on her nerves.
He runs the same hand up her back firmly, over her neck, to her cheek, turning her face to his. He breathes against her skin, resting his forehead against hers. "With this you will submit, you will tell this Sesshomaru when you are scared, uncomfortable, when the memories come, if they plague your sleep."
Avalon nods her head, tears slide down her cheeks. It was a demand she could live with. "I will let you know Sesshomaru."
"We go." He secures her against his waist again, soaring into the air. His first stop is to retrieve Jaken who is aimlessly hunting for an arm. Then he lands in the clearing where his armor and Tenseiga are. He straps them quickly to his chest and waist, taking Avalon around the waist again. Just before he takes flight he asks, "where is the dragon?"
"Um I think he is still in the village watching Hikari, unless you summoned him."
He flies into the air, happily holding Avalon's waist. "You will tell me everything about this Naraku," he tells Avalon as they fly. "Everything, leave nothing out."
Avalon closes her eyes, trying to remember everything she learned while she was his captive. "Do you want to know his bedding preferences?"
He tickles her side making her lurch forward in response.
"I'll take that as a no." Avalon then launches into telling him how Naraku had found out about her and how he had plans to use her to kill his enemies. She tells him how he intends to have the sacred jewel and use it to fulfill his desires. She continues telling him more as it comes to her.
Occasionally he asks questions, gauging the strength of Naraku's power, understanding that even his father's sword cannot stand against the half-demon.
Sesshomaru soars into the clouds with Avalon heading higher in the sky.
Avalon watches as a structure comes into view. "We are going to your mother's place?"
"You need clothing," he avoids landing on the steps. His mother isn't high on his list of people to see. They fly down a hallway and land in his bedroom. He pulls out clothing from a trunk for himself, the same white haori with cherry blossoms on the shoulders and sleeves, with matching hakama. He removes the armor, throwing it into the corner of the room. He takes them to a corner in the room, his back to Avalon and loosens his blood covered hikama letting them fall. He takes the new pair and stares at them dejectedly. 'This will be interesting.' He leans his back against the wall, wearing only his fundoshi, deciding which is more humiliating, asking Avalon to help him clothe himself or Jaken until he becomes accustomed to using only one arm.
Avalon watches him silently curious over what he is doing. When she sees him drop his hakama on the ground, she gets what he's doing. "I'll help if you wish." She holds her hand out waiting for the new pair of Hakama.
'I have no pride left.' He bends over and picks them up trying again to open them one handed only to become frustrated and throw them against the wall, refusing to face Avalon and only glaring at the wall.
Avalon walks over to the thrown item picking it up. She walks over to him. She bends down holding them open for him. "You will get to doing this on your own. In the meantime. Just order me to do it." She smiles. "You can think of it as me being submissive."
He sighs, glancing down at her and the open hikama and relents. If she thinks it submissive, it's better than debasing himself with Jaken. He puts one leg in and then the other, bending down to help pull them up over his bare backside. The entire time his chest is burning for Avalon.
Avalon stands to grab the hanjuban holding it open for him.
He slides his arm inside turning his back to her then tries to slide the small portion of his left arm into the other side.
Avalon wraps her arms around him bringing the cloth around his middle. She slips out and comes to his front tying it up. She turns around to grab the hankimono and opens it for him.
His eyes follow her as he slides his arm in again, gripping the sleeve to keep it from bunching as he pulls it down, then uses the same hand to guide the empty sleeve into the new garment.
Avalon walks over to his front to straighten his juban and kimono. Then she looks down. "You use a very elaborate sash as an obi and I'm not entirely sure how to help with that."
His eyes aren't on the obi, they are on her and the way she made him feel like he still had some pride left. He cups her chin firmly, then presses his mouth into hers, stepping forward until her back is against the wall, breathing heavily, while tasting the inside of her mouth.
Avalon puts her hands on his chest as she feels her desire flare. She closes her eyes, moving her lips with his. When panic sets in suddenly, she starts pushing at his chest to get him away from.
He backs away enough to allow their lips to separate, leaning one hand against the wall. "Forgive me." He takes the obi turning to the door, already knowing he can't tie this on his own.
Avalon pants as she sees him turn away from her. "Sesshomaru wait!" She runs to be in front of him. "It's not you. It's me."
His chest is moving too quickly, if he doesn't leave, he'll do something he regrets. He swallows hard, unable to tell her how tempting she is and doesn't want to scare her. He throws the obi over his left shoulder and reaches for her hand, squeezing her fingers affectionately, before leaving down the hallway to find Jaken.
Avalon watches him leave as she feels tears well in her eyes. She wipes them away as she looks around marveling at the intricate paintings depicting a large white dog stomping on a human army. She moves about the room gazing at the large futon wondering how many females have lain with him. Her heart hurts for a moment. 'I'm nothing to him.' She shakes her head and keeps looking about. There are weapons on the walls. She looks at each one, some she recognizes others, she hasn't a clue about. She hears the door open behind her. She turns around and sees Sesshomaru walk in.
He holds a sea-green kimono with silver embroidery that runs up the hip lines and a peach obi, beneath it is a clean Juban. He hands them to her without speaking and faces the wall.
Avalon takes and strips off the shredded clothing. She puts on the juban and then the kimono followed by the obi. "Thanks. So… you still live with your mom, huh?"
"Is this a problem? Are you modest?"
"Yeah. I'm dressed."
He turns around and saunters to her, holding out his hand.
Avalon takes his offered hand. Looking up at him questioningly.
He cups her chin again, this time breathing deeply of the scent of her cheeks. His nose slides into her hair. "You did not disappoint this Sesshomaru."
Avalon nods her head. Not completely sure what to say to that. "So...um...how many women have graced this room?"
He releases her. "Many. I did not keep count."
"Do you remember their faces?"
"The first one," he says blankly, "had long silver hair, no moon but with single stripes along the cheeks. The ones after?" He shrugs his shoulders. "The virgins," he thinks, trying to remember their faces, there was something invigorating about deflowering inu-youkai maidens. "One had a moon like mine, only it was lavender, another cried, and then wanted more. Should I continue?"
"No. I just wonder if you will remember me. These desires will overcome me, I'm sure and I'm only human. I will die in the blink of an eye," tears well in her eyes, "for you. Then you will have more I'm sure and will you forget me? Will I be a faceless lover?"
He dares to step closer to her, wiping the tears off her cheeks, he brings her to stand in front of a mirror. He traces her chin, the curve of her neck and sniffs the back of her head, relishing her scent. "You will know many years with this Sesshomaru. This face will be memorized. Did you not notice I chose this cloth for the color of your eyes, the silver for the flecks of color in them. The peach to match your delicate features. I do not love you, Avalon. I don't know if this Sesshomaru is capable of such a feeling, but there will be centuries to uncover it."
Avalon's eyes widen as she whispers, "Centuries?"
"You will age as I age." He turns her in his arm. "You wish this Sesshomaru to love you. You will give me time to develop this emotion. Does it satisfy you to know that I am very fond of you?"
Avalon looks up into his eyes. "It helps knowing that and I guess we have a lot of time to see what happens." She rests her head on his shoulder. While hugging him.
"Do you need anything else before we leave?"
"I don't think so."
"Then we should leave quickly," he says softly in her ear.
Avalon lifts her head and unwinds her arms from around his shoulders. "Then let's go. We have to get to Hikari."
He rubs his knuckles against her cheeks to dry her tears. As they leave, he wonders if this would be the best place to leave Hikari. Most do not know about this place.
Jaken knocks on the shoji door, "Sesshomaru-sama?"
Sesshomaru growls annoyed, placing a soft kiss on Avalon's forehead. "We go," he opens the door, glaring at Jaken.
Avalon follows Sesshomaru out the door as Jaken looks on. "Oh." he walks following Avalon then he gets ahead of her. "Know your place onna." he says snubbly
Sesshomaru reaches behind him and thrusts Jaken neck first into the wall. "You are familiar with the bonds of my kind?"
Jaken's eyes bulge out of his head, fear and surprise struggling for air, "Hai Sesshomaru-sama."
Sesshomaru grabs Avalon around the waist, pressing her against the wall saying quietly, "control your fear." He presses his lips into hers, hitching one of her legs around his waist, purposely letting his eyes slide back at Jaken.
Avalon kisses him and holds onto him while keeping her eyes open.
Jaken's mouth drops open. "You have bed her!?"
Sesshomaru whips Jaken in the face. "Silence!" he yells at him and then backs away slowly from Avalon, pecking her one last time. "Avalon-sama. You will call her Avalon-sama." He tugs on Avalon's fingers, bringing her to walk next to him.
"Hai my Lord and Lady." He gets up to trail behind them.
Avalon can't help but smile. She goes to whisper in Sesshomaru's ear "Say that again please. It was thrilling to hear." She backs away saying loudly, "Sesshomaru-sama."
"Which part?" he says slyly. "The part where I threw him against the wall, or the part where he is to refer to you as Avalon-sama?"
Avalon grins from ear to ear. "My name coming from your lips with such honorifics." She pushes her lips to his and then rests her head on his shoulder as they walk and she holds his arm.
"You torment this Sesshomaru," he says as they reach the stairs. He hooks his arm around her waist, waiting for her permission to pull her closer.
Avalon moves close to wrap her arms around him, plastering her body against his.
He smirks at her proudly whispering next to her ear, "I smell what you are thinking."
"Thinking what am I thinking?" she says indignantly.
He only chuckles as he free falls out of the castle to see if he can get her to cling tighter as they fall through the clouds and the sky, gravity sending them plummeting.
Avalon scream so loudly and with a high ringing pitch as she clings to him harder.
He rolls onto his back, slowing their descent, with her on his chest, staring into her eyes as they fly high above the banks of a river.
A/N Writing this is keeping me sane. I am so glad other people enjoy reading my work. Elohiniar has been a wonderful co-author and beta. This story wouldn't be half as good without her, I cannot thank her enough. I want to hear from all my readers. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think so far. I was thinking of doing an interview with Avalon and Sesshomaru sometime in the future. Would anyone be interested? If so please write a review with your questions. Thanks for reading stay safe social distancing everyone.
Curlystruggle - Thank you for reviewing. Avalon is a strong female and she has been through so much. She will have to deal with a range of emotions just like most people deal with. I want people to be able to relate to her. I'm glad you can see where she is trying in her life and I hope she can give others hope. Stay safe.
Itzatakahashi - She has gone through so much trauma and she fears that she will be in a similar situation with Sesshomaru being her capture. I hope I was able to capture that in this chapter. Thank you for leaving a review and keep safe.
ASJS - Yes Avalon broke through the spell she couldn't kill Sesshomaru it hurt too much and she wanted him to live so desperately. Sesshomaru saves her but now what? How will their lives change. How will Sesshomaru deal with being bond to a human? Will Avalon bow to his will or will her will clash too much? Find out as the story goes on much more to come and thanks for the review. Stay safe.