Chapter 3

"Who's this guy?" "Who's what guy?" "This mon?" "What mon?" "The mon right next to you?" "Who him?" "Yes him." "What do you mean there's no one here?" This bickering started off with the Alakazam asking about me while Pikes denies my existence. So, as is routine by now, I took my mind off their squabble, and admired the beauty of this house. It was so much bigger up close than afar. It has three stories, but it might as well be thirty. Every floor has an area for looking out, whether that be a porch or a balcony as is the case in the other two floors. The beige hue is quite bland, but has ornately decorated stone and flora of various colours, as well as maroon beams that separate each floor, which freshens the exterior up enough not to be as bland as a regular terrace house. Windows have sills, where little corbels support it, and the floral decorations are put on but do not cover up the windows. The maroon lines kind of jut out, but is matched by similar beige beams that jut out enough to stay in between to create an overall elegant flowing effect and a nice texture seen in most townhouses. The balcony area looks like marble, but could also be carved stone painted white. The doors are so huge. There are doorknobs that line the front door, which I assume is for Pokémon of various heights. The base supports the second floor balcony while the third floor is supported by pillars. Overall, very European; it's definitely akin to designs in Italy or Austria, maybe even Spain. Pikes and the Alakazam are still arguing since I phased into my own world, so I decided to observe them. The Alakazam is much taller than me. It looks to be four times my height. It's quite a staggering height from my viewpoint, however it is interesting to note that it looks to be shoulder height with the middle doorknob. It also looks feminine due to the smaller mustache, which would usually bend for Alakazams but that is not the case here, as well as a more curved physique when examined closely. It is wearing a nice red scarf with a fair brown tail. At this point, Pikes seems to be fed up with its incessant faffing as he introduces me. "Ok, I'll tell you. This is Xenos; Xenos meet Alky. This morning, while I came back from the cave, I saw this mon. Upon further inspection, he looks to be mauled so I restored him. I went back to check if he is still there, which he is and told me that he doesn't have a place to stay, so I told him to stay with me. There, that's all I know." Pikes looks to be a bit disappointed on his futile attempts to persuade Alky, who is the Alakazam. He was also rather forceful and hesitant when introducing me. Alky responded with, "I mean I get it, but what I don't get is my inability to read his mind." Alky was trying to read my mind? Talk about personal privacy, jeez. "Oh yeah, you don't know. He's a Mew." "What about a Mew?" "He is more powerful than you in psychic energy, and is also a legendarily rare mon. I mean, they're almost mythical." Despite Pikes' claim, I don't think I am no where near as powerful as this Alakazam. With this, Alky gave me this nasty glance that would've said, "This is more powerful than me?" I mean, I've never seen Pikes this brutally honest; then again, I did just know he exists today. Alky contemplated for a few seconds, and, after this whole debacle, said "A'ight. Tell him to take the test before sunset." Wait, what? What test? "Alky, surely you're not going to test a physically disabled mon?" "It's not that test. He's going to be taking the wild one, unless he has some sort of residence elsewhere." With that, Alky just disappeared. Alky, straight-up, just poofed while leaving a little image in my head of a distorted Alakazam. I also got quite worried. What does she mean by, "the wild one"? It doesn't make sense why she is treating me like an animal. Admittedly and in the literal sense, I am an animal now, but I do not act like an animal, at least I think I don't. It also doesn't make sense since Pikes is a mouse; I mean he looks like an oddly colored one anyway. Seeing this, Pikes told me not to worry about it until I'm acquainted with the house. "She can be a little rough sometimes, but she just wants what is 'advantageous and beneficial to me directly as well as to you' which is the fancy way of saying she wants what's best for us." This Alky character really is a bit off-putting. You know maybe she's just misunderstood. That, or she really just is a prick. We opened the door using the lowest knob which is conveniently waist height.

The house is definitely huge. It's as if I'm a pet cat wondering around the house. Although, now that I think of it, I am probably in a similar situation minus the whole pet thing. "This room, believe it or not, has not changed styles since humans lived here. It is quite the beauty." Sadly, I don't see anything beautiful as it is regular. Couches, coffee table, shelves, fireplace, and a piano by the window. What is interesting is the distinct lack of technology, such as lights or TVs, can be seen here. It's obvious that there used to be some sort of electrical wizardry going on. The only interesting thing here is the piano. Other than that not much to say. The kitchen is begging to be put with appliances, but all there is, is a wood stove that have been worn out for many years of use, misuse, disuse, repair, and age. It's just sitting there, waiting to be used, but also in waiting to be put out. It's like some sort of bleeding animal waiting to die and loathing every second. Do you save the animal? Do you leave it to die peacefully but painfully? Do you just end their suffering? If you kill it, then you'd think it's a waste of life. Otherwise, it would suffer more, like being tortured and just dying of age. Man, no wonder philosophy is terrible. I can't stand to ask these questions everyday. Anyway, tangent over. The stairs, as one would expect a cat would see, are huge. I had a hard time climbing them. Uneventful, but difficult. Pikes merely leaped and is now two steps ahead. The boy doesn't even sweat. It baffles me how much stamina and energy he has. After some loathing, falling, and questioning reality, I finally made it to the second floor. My God, what a better floor. It seems fantastical in every way. This is a stark contrast to the mundane ground floor. Pikes told me, "Yeah, this is the second floor. It's less interesting than the first floor," and to that I say, "Lies!" I exclaimed, "this floor is just leagues ahead from that little suburban neighborhood I was in earlier." Pikes then responded with, "Oh, you're amazed at the water closet?" I blindingly say, "Yes," and then thought about what he said. "Wait no, I didn't mean-" but it was too late. Pikes is explaining how a toilet works. Good grief. Back to my observations, it seems that there was a library, a technology-filled room, the loo, the stairwell, and the architecture that gives it a cozy yet robust feel. Gone is the unoriginality, as there is a breath of fresh air from the wood padded walls. Every wall, minus the rooms, are padded with wood. Not some plywood though, no, it is more like refurnished wood, with generally the same color. "… Yeah, yeah. We can look at the individual rooms later let's show you the bedrooms." What? We just arrived! Oh man, is this floor really as interesting as I make it out to be. Basically, after Pikes talked about potties, we went up the stairs again. I got much better, but I still fell, and failed numerous times. Once the workout was over, we where in the bedroom halls, or what I'd assume to be one anyway. "So, back when humans were still a thing, the two big bedrooms are, what they call, the 'master bedroom', whilst the small one is the 'guest bedroom." He went on, "there where supposed to be two guest beds, but, at some time, some mon removed the wall separating the guest bed to the restroom up here and converted it into storage." He kept going on with trivia, so I just tapped out. This one had a more modern feel. This was because of the painted walls and minimalist design. It's, well, just a bedroom hallway. He led me to a room where a bed staggers thrice the height of the dreaded stairs looms. "This is where you stay. Remember, doorknob is right twist, knock when you'll need me; I'll be at the other room just lazing, and I suggest you mosey your way there, and get some relaxing yourself." With that, Pikes left me to my own devices. Though the bed is tall, other objects such as the bedside table are just as tall. It is a nice white paint with a hardwood floor. The window invites the light in, and a door sits idly next to it. Ok, I think that's enough observation; it's time to get leaping.

I have a few ideas on how to achieve such an obstacle. I tried doing a hop, similar with the stairs, but, sadly, I am still too far. Climbing is a good idea provided I have a vague grip on the bed, which I unfortunately don't. I started getting desperate, so I leaped with extra force. I got launched, landed in bed, bounced off, and fell right back down. Not only that, but my feet, or ankle or whatever these should be called, hurt and my chest felt like it was being pierced when I hit the floor. So, I settled for next best option: floor. I still had my blue puffy jacket, so I took it off, laid it on the floor, and subsequently laid on it. As I was just thinking about this whole absurdity, there came a knock on the door. "So, uh, Xenos, yeah? It's about noon time, so, y'know, would you wanna go get lunch." Pikes seemed quite excited on the adventure to get some food, so I accepted. After putting on my jacket, and some finicking with the stairs, we've arrived at the entrance of the house. Though I couldn't walk at my normal pace, I could at least keep up with Pikes. When we finally got back to the city, I just couldn't believe the whole ordeal. This is Victorian era, at least I assume it to be, shops. Neither are they large and consumerized American monopolies, nor are they Medieval fairs or workshops. We walked in the street; I guess the advent of motorized vehicles never came in mind. The shops looked simple, clean, yet elegant, and cozy. Most of the shops are furnished with wood. Some of them sell food, while others sell clothing. This is a surreal experience; I guess this is because I've never experienced pre-technology era. Pikes went into a shop that has two names. I can't read the first scripture, but I can read the Unown saying, "Geo & Co.'s Bakery". Huh, how generic. When we got in, I noticed a few people in already. There were big and small tables. Everything just honestly felt passive. We were about to choose a spot when suddenly, "Hey!" No one shouted; I heard no voice, and no one reacted. Sitting at the far right is Alky. Bruh, is it really time? Pikes, without me noticing, grabbed my wrist, and walked to her. Pikes climbed on the seat, barely able to see the top of the table. I leaped successfully on the seat as well. I mean at least something good came out of trying, and failing, to get on that bed.

"So, I guess you could take the test here. It's not the best of places for an exam, but, since we're here, you might as well get this done." Oh God. The exam! What am I supposed to do about this? "It's oral, and consists of only 5 questions" she said confidently and probably sarcastically, "it won't be difficult for a civilized mon. Of course, I assume you are." What sarcasm. God, it's thick and brutal. It's simple one layer irony that's so in-your-face, it's almost insulting. A Togetic came in beaming with joy. Alky asked for three buttered croissants and two "boosters". He went off and came back with two blocks. I see. These are like the child boosters in our world, except for people like me who are a bit shorter than the dragons sitting next to us. It is basically a block of wood with some comforter on. As the croissants cook, I asked Alky why I need to take some sort of test. She simply responded with, "I can't let any wild run free." I don't get it. I looked at her puzzlingly, but she ignored my subtle asking for an explanation. Eagled-eye Pikes, however, told me that she's the Mayor, and there have been things that happened in the past that led to this being a thing. From what I can gather, it's to test if I'm civilized or illiterate. It would make sense why I'd need to take a test I guess. Man, who knew that being in the Pokémon world could be so tense. Then again, I'm speaking to a bunch of animals. I don't even understand why I'm here. I engage in a little more small talk with them until the food arrives. Apparently, a mayor implemented a policy for a Psychic user or someone with high IQ to test and see if the Pokémon going in are not wild. This was because a Hydreigon wandered in the city. "What even is a Hydreigon exactly?" I asked. He got the book, that he recorded me in, and flipped to a page. An astonishingly detailed summary is put in front of me. The book reads:

"#635H Hydreigon

aka: Sazandora; Piudéter (archaic: Pludéter)

Avg. Height: 71 inches; 18 dm

Avg. Weight: 25s 2p 11o 13d (ρλοδ); 1600 hg (rarely used: 16 kg)

Status: Rare in the wild; More of a rarity in the commons

Behaviour: Hostile and Destructive (wild); Sophisticated, patient, and basically a one-eighty from the wild (commons)

Strength: may single-handedly destroy a village (traditionally)

Known moves: Outrage; Hyper Voice; Crunch; Dragon Rush

Mythicality: Psuedo-Legendary

Approach: Run; Kill, if all fail"

There are also a few descriptors that read out like a Pokédex entry, but which I honestly am too lazy to read. After reading some of these stats came a sketch of the creature. By God! This thing is terrifying. It's like a demon-hydra, but in real life!? It's a godsend that it's calm and patient when it is civilized. At least I think that's what commons mean. The height's given in a rather uncommon decimeters and feet, but in weight, I noticed the 18 kg which is labeled "rarely used." The weight units remind me of the British Pound before it decimalized with farthings, shillings, and all that other nonsense they used to have. Pikes continued that this thing, you know the three-headed dragon demon, was able to get in the city at dawn. Luckily, the creature came across a group of people, which included the mayor Slowking, at the time. They were able to kill it, since it didn't retreat, but this led to one of the requirements of entering the city. Pikes additionally adds, "Today, however, is special. You see, Alky here is supposed to be at the North Flumendy, but there has been a commotion recently." Wait, what? The croissant arrived, and, I mean, what's there to say? It's a croissant. Although, it's pretty big. It's a loaf of flaky butter bread. There are no utensils, and not even butter and jam. Though the croissant is quite good, I can't stop thinking of this commotion. An event so influential, it halted jobs, even if for a day. A catastrophe, or miracle, to a degree in which people have to be lazing around. Although the Togetic is happy, I can't say the same for the customers. Alky and some of these Pokémon, look tired. They looked shocked and worried. I mean, even the Togetic who is happy all the time, is less happy serving their tables than ours. We stand out. Pikes and I stand out from this melancholic atmosphere. So the question circulating through my brain right now, is: what is this tragedy? A tragedy so catastrophic that mountains would move. It doesn't make sense, because it just isn't possible. I'm left questioning and puzzled as I eat my croissant.