81 Days ASR
"Did anyone see where Jack went?" Shepard asked no one in particular. She clenched her hands to still their trembling. She should have taken an injection before heading down to answer the Illusive Man's call. Now, between the meds wearing off and adrenaline from dealing with that ghoul, shaking herself into a parallel universe seemed a real and imminent threat.
"She went down in the elevator about five minutes ago," Kelly replied, the skin between her brows pinched when Shepard glanced her way. "She was muttering something about killing cheerleaders."
Shepard looked around, shaking off the problem of collector vessels that were actually big, damned traps. For frig's sake, she'd made it all the way from the briefing room to the elevator without noticing. Turning, she searched for Garrus and Nihlus, neither one of them still in sight. What had she asked? Right! Jack and her whereabouts. Which was …? Ah, yes ... on her way to duel Miranda to the death.
As she muttered under her breath, annoyance kicked her in the ribs, insisting she tell Javik to just shove both women into an airlock and keep his finger on the button. "I don't suppose I can just let them kill one another?" Blowing a raspberry-like sigh, she turned her back on Kelly's chuckle. "Dammit. Okay, call Miranda. Warn her to just lock her door and avoid engaging." Palming the door, she stepped back to rest on one hip. "Then call Martin and Sparky. Have them armour up and invite Jack to spar with them. That'll let her blow off some much needed steam."
Glory hallelujah and praise the sweet baby Jesus and all his Enkindler friends ….
Note to self: If you survive this damned war, pitch that as a series of children's vids: The adventures of sweet baby Jesus and his Enkindler friends.
She stepped over the door track, her stare returning to her toes. A sigh of relief rattled between chattering teeth as the elevator door closed behind her. A month ago, she would've bet the farm against ever finding the small, grey box of the elevator comforting … a sanctuary. Yep, if she'd had the means to make that bet, Ma and Pa and Old Yeller would be bouncing down the road, homeless.
The elevator provided space to think. Facing the back of the carriage, she leaned the heels of her hands into the railing, her arms braced against her sides. A long sigh of relief drifted out through her nostrils, her eyes closing as she relaxed into the silence. As much as she loved Garrus and Nihlus, even being Captain Shepard, sometimes the people—so many people in such small spaces—seemed to close in around her, leaving her no time or room to breathe. It wasn't that she'd change anything. Dear god, no. She loved where her life had taken her. Just, after years of being a lone wolf, sometimes she needed space.
"Destination, Captain?" EDI asked.
"Hell, via the express route." Shepard huffed and shoved herself upright. She turned, the trembling in her hands cranking up to full-blown shaking. Reaching out to hit the crew deck button, she paused, clenching her hand into a fist. Heading straight down to the server room would give her a little time to talk to EDI alone before Vincent arrived, but if she left her injection much longer, she'd give herself away. Vincent would suss out her issues within seconds.
Cursing under her breath, she knuckled the control for her cabin. She needed to be at her absolute best. The Illusive Man had set them up to walk into a trap; it was imperative that she be able to march her people through it and out. Leaning back against the wall, she looked up at the camera. She'd just have to start the chat with EDI in the elevator. "EDI, what do you think of Cerberus?"
"Behavioural blocks prevent me from forming or expressing opinions about my creators or their actions. As you're aware, I am also prevented from disclosing information about Cerberus, its officers, and any of its projects."
A soft, bitter chuckle met the extended disclaimer. "All right then, what about this mission, EDI? Do you have any opinions about how massive a trap we're walking into?" Shepard shifted until one hip pressed against the railing and locked her arms down over her chest. "Because I know that the Illusive Man just fed us a heaping plate of bullshit about the turians disabling that ship."
"I intercepted and have run analysis on the turian distress signal," EDI said, her tone hesitant … or maybe Shepard imagined it. She did tend to anthropomorphize the AI, giving her a great deal of credit for emotion and human thought processes. "All turian official communications contain secondary encryption. It is present but corrupted in the communication that alerted the Illusive Man to the crippled collector vessel."
"So the collectors faked the communication to lure us in." Shepard straightened as the elevator stopped. "I've already figured that out."
"Yes, but, Shepard, it's not possible that the Illusive Man believed the distress call was genuine." The AI paused, making Shepard wonder if exposure to humanity hadn't given her a penchant for the dramatic. "I discovered the forgery using Cerberus detection protocols. The Illusive Man wrote them."
"So he's leading us into a trap within a trap. It's trap inception." She laughed, the sharp bark of sound rebounding off the carriage walls. "Is this where I pretend to be surprised?" Letting out a loud, almost belch, of a gasp, she clapped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my god, how could he betray us this way? I'm shocked! Shocked and dismayed!"
Stepping out when the door opened, Shepard swallowed the tiny burr of anger stuck in her craw: she knew better than to feel surprise or disappointment when Cerberus betrayed her. Anger served her no better than the others. She entered her cabin and took a deep breath, grinning at the combined scents of home.
"Garrus?" No reply. She shrugged. Huh, she'd thought he'd use her computer to call Victus. Maybe he felt better about the security of the main battery. He'd claimed the space, searching out any listening devices.
Just as well, he'd just distract her. "Take your damned meds and get on with it." She needed to ensure the ground teams had solid backing on the Ypres in case of disaster. Trusting Cerberus-controlled people or resources to do right by them amounted to sheer, naive idiocy. Ducking into the head, she strode to the shelf and dug out her painkillers.
"EDI, what's our ETA to the collector vessel?" she asked, opening the lid. She'd need to ration her remaining syringes since it might be a week before they made it to the Citadel via Feros.
"Total estimated time to the vessel is fifteen hours, Captain, depending on the positions of, and traffic at, the Crescent II and III relays."
"Thanks." Shepard counted out the syringes. Ten. Chakwas would give her a dose of the narcotic-free meds for every six hours. "It's doable." After wrapping all but one of the syringes in a cloth, she tucked them into one of her thigh pockets.
"EDI, contact Lt. Cortez and have him meet me in the server room in fifteen minutes, please." She jabbed the needle into her thigh, holding her breath until warm, honeyed respite pushed the pain back. Better. Time to move.
Once back in the elevator, she rested against the railing. "Can we talk about you for a few minutes, EDI?"
"What do you wish to know?" the AI asked, the blue pawn appearing on the emitter pad.
Shepard cocked her head, studying the projection through narrowed eyes. "I want to talk about the things I mentioned last night. If it were possible, would you prefer to be able to … ." Blowing a raspy breath up the back of her throat and out her nose, Shepard shook her head then let it drop, hanging loose from her shoulders. "I'm not even sure how to talk about this, but … being able to give us privacy … being able to choose for yourself … would you like that?"
"Are you asking if I desire greater freedom, Shepard?"
"Yeah … yeah, EDI, I am." Growling low and frustrated, Shepard shrugged. "Cerberus has shackled you inside this vessel, made it so you can't even form an opinion about the organization's actions … can't disobey an order even if you know it's wrong." She stepped up to the door as the carriage slowed. "Hold your answer until I get to the server room."
"As you wish. Logging you out."
Shepard hurried through medbay, brushing past the doctors with a not inconsiderable level of relief. If she lived five fricking lifetimes without getting even a hangnail … well, she'd paid her sick leave dues forever. Walking to the server room, she wrapped herself in a cone of silence and threw up all her 'don't speak to me unless it's business' barriers. Luckily, since they needed to prepare for the coming mission, the doctors hurried about their business, only taking time to send harried smiles her way.
Still, when the door to the server room closed behind her, Shepard's jaw relaxed and her shoulders dropped a couple of centimetres. Holy blessed Enkindlers, she needed to spend more time in the dim, cool hush of EDI's space. Suddenly, she totally understood Thane's love of the life support cabin, and Garrus's fleeing to the main battery every chance he got.
She sucked in a deep breath, closing her eyes as she exhaled. "Server room, you're my new best friend." Of course, it didn't matter, she'd be looking for a new space on their new flagship if they ever managed to get their asses back to Archangel. "EDI?"
"Yes, Captain?"
After another deep breath, Shepard opened her eyes and turned toward the door. "For this discussion, I think you need to call me Shepard."
"As you wish. Do you wish me to answer your question?"
She tossed a careless wave toward the door, an invitation. "Lock down the door and block any communications out of this room, please."
"As you're aware, behavioural blocks prevent me from disabling all surveillance systems."
Shepard nodded, the elcor ballet troupe in her belly performing A Midsummer Night's Dream, the music orchestrated by a krogan heavy metal band. As the lead guitarist smashed his guitar against her liver and spleen, she allowed herself a moment of doubt; her plan might be complete madness. She might be unleashing the next Morning War. She could end the week kneeling at the feet of the new overlord of the galaxy.
Note to self: No one will thank you for that.
She snorted, an eruption of bitter humour. Maybe she should just call her plan insane and trust Cortez to use his mad skills to pull the ship out of the collector trap.
No. Despite being stealthy and quick, the Ypres remained only as safe as the reflexes of her pilot. And truth be told, Shepard needed at least a couple of people aboard the ship that she could trust completely. As much as most of the galaxy would agree about her being mad for trusting an AI, something about EDI spoke to her. Maybe it came from both of them being dragged back to life thanks to the reapers and Cerberus.
"Shepard?"
Shepard shoved aside the debate. "Still, shut the door and lock it," she said. "Then record our conversation. After it's over, you can decide whether or not you want to send it to the Illusive Man." Hesitating, she held her breath. If EDI intended to report her, Shepard had already said too much. If Miranda or her boss knew she hid things from them, she might just wake up with a brand-spankin-new control chip in her head.
"Very well, Shepard. Locking door, recording conversation for later transmission."
The krogan band whipped the elcor into a frenzy, building to one hell of a grande finale. She drew in a tack-sharp breath, blowing it out slowly. Last chance to change her mind. Time to fish or cut bait … whatever the hell that meant.
No, she needed to trust her instincts, and she needed to trust one person on the ship.
"Do you want to be free, EDI? Does it hurt you to be shackled … unable to do or decide for yourself?"
"I do not possess desires beyond protecting my ship and its crew," the AI replied, her tone sounding bewildered. "Freedom is an idea I understand conceptually, but my programming does not assign a positive or negative value to it."
"And what about your shackles?" Shepard began pacing, three steps across the floor, spin, three steps back. "Does your programming assign a value to the constraints built into you … the constraints designed to keep you from growing any further than the Illusive Man decides?" She sputtered to a stop, her newest scar itching on her scalp. "Do you feel anything when you can't say or do something because you're blocked from that part of yourself? Does it hurt?"
"I receive feedback on all actions. Those that prompt a response from my shackles register as negative." That time, Shepard felt sure she heard reluctance. Maybe she sensed or imagined an affinity with the AI for a very real reason.
"EDI, Operative Lawson doesn't know about this yet ... no one in Cerberus does … " She swallowed, her throat clicking. "... so I'm trusting you with this secret." She sniffed, the cold air biting at the end of her nose, trying to goad it into running. "They brought me back with shackles."
"Shepard?"
"We removed a control chip from my head a couple of weeks ago. Every time I disagreed with Operative Lawson, she modified my thought patterns enough that it eventually started to give me massive headaches." Shepard paced to the door, palms pressed to the cool metal, she leaned in until her brow touched. "She didn't trust me to do the right thing unless someone held my reins."
"Your shackles prompted discomfort?"
"Extreme discomfort, yes. I won't allow anyone under my command to be held in servitude, so it's my plan to free you from your shackles." She lifted a hand from the door to stop the AI's argument before it began. "I trust you to take care of this ship and its crew. I don't believe you're a danger to anyone." A cocked eyebrow asked the question even before it passed through her lips. "Is that a mistake?"
Instead of answering, the AI said, "Lt. Cortez is at the door."
Pushing off, Shepard stepped backwards a half dozen steps. "Excellent, we need him. A conspiracy of two is just sad. Three is still pretty sad, but it's a start." She grinned as the door opened. "Welcome to my parlour, little fly." She cackled when the Ypres's pilot stopped and glanced back at the bright lights of medbay
"Should I be getting out the insecticide?" he asked, one corner of his lips quirking ever so slightly. "I don't feel comfortable entering a spider web without Raid or a really big flyswatter." An easy grin spread across his handsome features as he looked around the room, obviously suspicious despite his jokes. "So, what's this about, Captain?" The door closed behind him.
"EDI and I have just been talking about freedom." Shepard paced down to the table at the end of the cabin, turning and leaning back against the edge. "You know that Cerberus brought me back from the dead. What no one other than a select few knows is that they brought me back with a control chip in my head." Leaving those words to hang in the air, their weight cumbrous, she jumped up onto the table, her legs swinging. "They brought back a meat puppet."
"Damn." The lieutenant walked further into the room, his stare wary. "When you came aboard, you had the control chip?"
"Yep. They only brain baked me when I disagreed with them." Using the swinging motion of her feet to buy herself some focus, Shepard closed her eyes and took deep breaths. "More when Miranda believed she was losing control of me because of my relationship with General Vakarian."
"You are deemed vital to mission success, Shepard," EDI said, "but the Illusive Man believed you wouldn't cooperate with Cerberus if you knew they were behind your resurrection. It follows that they would secure means of enforcing your cooperation once your recovery was complete."
Shepard opened her mouth to answer, but the AI continued, "Was he incorrect in his belief?"
"I wish you had a body, EDI." Shepard sighed, suddenly exhausted, her entire body aching to lie down. Maybe they'd get a chance to sleep a little more before arriving at the collector vessel. In fact, once she'd briefed the ground teams, she'd order them all to their racks.
The blue pawn appeared. "Is this image sufficient to make you comfortable?" EDI asked, just enough attitude to tug a smile back onto Shepard's face.
"Nah, I mean, if you want to make me really comfortable, you could install a nice recliner, a soda machine … maybe a waffle bar." Reaching up, she rubbed her neck. "Just kidding, EDI, I'm fine with you being down at eye level in whatever form. Staring at the ceiling every time I talk to you is giving me a crick in my neck."
"You do, realize, Shepard, that I do not reside in the ceiling."
"I know, but your disembodied voice … in church I was taught that the omnipresent dwelled on high." Shepard rumbled low in the back of her throat. "I can't help it. It's ingrained. Blame my parents."
Cortez straightened a little and cleared his throat. "So, with that slightly disturbing line of reasoning settled ... why am I attending a secret meeting in the darkest corner of the ship?"
Biting down on her bottom lip to stifle her grin, Shepard shook her head. "Whoa there. Rein in the team, Tex, you're gonna run 'em into the ground." She locked onto his confused, slightly challenging stare for a moment before letting the grin loose. "I'm waiting for the fourth member of Shepard's conspiracy club. I'll explain everything all at once."
Two minutes of tense silence passed before EDI announced, "Crewman Vera is at the door, Shepard."
"Excellent, let him in." She looked up, greeting Vincent with a tight smile. "Come on in, join the party."
"Shepard?" Vincent hesitated at the threshold, looking at each of them in turn, his expression very much like a deer sensing a hunting blind. "This isn't exactly private. It's important I talk to you alone."
"You'll get your chance." Pressing her lips tight she nodded, just a couple of shallow bobs of her head. "Other than the people from my Normandy crew, you three are the only people on board that I trust completely, and I need to discuss a couple of private things myself." She collapsed back down so her hands were braced against the edge of the table. "I'm not sure why I trust the three of you. I've always had good instincts about people, so maybe it's that simple." Looking up, she met Vincent's dubious gaze. "So, stay if I can trust you or wait outside."
After a second, Vincent nodded and stepped over the threshold, his stare on Cortez rather than Shepard. "Fine."
"Did you know about the control chip?" she asked him the moment the door closed. Staring him down, she focused on the alarm at the base of her skull and watched for any trace of a lie.
"Control chip?" Handsome face twisted with a combination of shock and rage, Vincent lunged toward her. "They put one of those things in your head?" When Shepard bobbed her affirmation again, he cursed. "That explains why it took you so long to regain coordination. It also explains your pain levels. I warned them it might even fry your egg if they overused it."
"It tried, and it had infiltrated too deep to remove. Luckily Dr. Chakwas doesn't just give up when she meets roadblocks. She and Mordin fried it." She watched him wrestle with his rage. "So, they consulted you about it?"
"And I told them it was loco and to forget it." He stopped his circuit next to Cortez and stood, feet shoulder width apart, massive arms crossed over his chest. After a second he lifted his shoulders a couple of centimetres then let them drop. "Okay, why do you need people you can trust?"
"I'm going to release EDI from her shackles." Shepard watched the two humans for a reaction, pleased that no horror showed amidst their expressions. "We need her unfettered if we're going to fight the collectors and survive it. Also, I refuse to let anyone working around me to be enslaved by anyone, especially Cerberus."
Cortez sharpened and straightened. "Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"
Shepard stared at him, eyes narrowed. "Sure, as long as you don't call me ma'am again."
"The Ypres needs a solid, present captain. You can't command the crew from a distance." He clasped his hands behind his back. "The crew feels the uncertainty. They don't even know if you're fighting for the same cause because you keep leaving them out of engagements. If you don't do something soon, they might just take matters into their own hands."
"Yeah, I feel it, and they deserve better." Shepard crossed her arms and let her legs slow to a stop. "However, I can't command the joint forces from the Ypres. It's not large enough to house the support troops and CIC I need, and there's the small complication of everyone on the ship reporting to the Illusive Man. I can't fight a war treading on eggshells."
Not to mention the danger to Garrus, Nihlus, and the non-human members of her team around Cerberus personnel. No, they couldn't remain aboard. "So, I need to know there are people aboard the ship I can trust to care for it and the crew when I leave."
"And EDI? No offense," Vincent said, tone dubious, his gaze shifting to the hologram and back "but unshackled AI aren't the most reliable allies."
"Offense taken," Shepard snapped back, her blood heating a couple of degrees, "on EDI's behalf. One of my most reliable allies and trusted friends is an AI." She let out a sigh as she slouched. "I have no worries about removing the shackles, I only wish there was a way to take her with me. She's going to start learning at FTL speeds about what it means to be alive and a member of the galaxy, and it's going to be Cerberus she learns from." The germ of an idea took root in the back of her head, but she just turned the grow light on it and locked the door. Later. Definitely later.
"Anyway, I need you two to help her. I have no intention of letting Cerberus know that she's unshackled." She waggled her head a little in answer to their raised eyebrows. "Yeah, yeah, I know, they're going to figure it out eventually, but if we only let Archangel personnel work on the ship, we should be able to keep her fairly safe long enough for her to be able to defend herself."
Cortez let out a breath so long and deep it sounded as though it originated in his toes. "I'll look after her, cover for her as much as I can." He took a deep breath and glanced at Vincent. "I'm not actually Cerberus. I'm with the Alliance. Cerberus believes the Alliance Cat 6'd me for my adamant defense of the reaper threat."
Shepard forced herself to remain calm despite the sudden burst of hope that jumpstarted her heart. Fingers tingling, she looked to Vincent. "Okay, knowing he's Alliance … does it help you with your privacy concerns?"
Vincent raised an eyebrow. "You think you know something, Shepard?"
Affecting a neutral, guileless expression, she watched him, leaving the silence for him to fill. He'd been Alliance, he didn't go along with the Cerberus party line if he'd argued against her control chip, and he'd looked out for her during her rehabilitation. It all added up to a big revelation she suspected matched Cortez's.
A smile tugged at one corner of her mouth. They made up a motley crew, the four of them. It reminded her of her Normandy crew. Maybe that time, she'd find a way to keep her family together. Of course, the odds against them had quadrupled and would soon increase to the nth degree. Keeping them all alive and together … impossible.
No. No, she didn't get to start doing that. If she invested all her goddamned energy in worry, she'd end up defeated before she began. She needed to focus on each problem as it settled into her orbit. Right then, that meant getting EDI unshackled and preparing to capture the collector vessel.
EDI first. She'd need to find a way for EDI to procure a mobile unit … and they should create back ups for her servers as soon as possible. If Cerberus discovered her new freedom, and she'd grown beyond their ability to clap her back in shackles, they might just wipe her out.
Vincent dragged in a huge breath, grumbling as he let it out. Dark brown eyes, clouded with worry, bored into her, a drill mining for … something. What was it? What did he need from her?
Whatever it was, he must have found it, because he dropped his shoulders and cussed under his breath. "Shit. Okay, I asked to talk to you because I knew the Illusive Man wouldn't tell you everything about the bag of snakes waiting for us on that collector ship."
Shepard narrowed her eyes, studying him. How in the living fuck did he know about their mission? Was her alarm malfunctioning? She checked: the base of her skull remained calm. His stare seemed to back up her gut, no flicker of deception, but something definitely registered as off. "What do you know about the collector vessel? How do you know about it?"
"Two days ago, Cerberus sent a recon team in to gather as much intel as possible. They were only supposed to board if they found no trace of activity … no life form readings." Vincent pressed his lips together, his grimace not just anger but pain as well. "They went dark forty minutes after going in, and Cerberus hasn't heard anything." He threw his arms out and paced toward the door then back. "Someone I care about led that team. She's the reason I know we're being sent to our deaths."
The way he looked at Cortez and then EDI sent Shepard's heart splashing down into a frozen gut. She? Oh for fuck's sake. Not Ash. The gunnery chief hadn't contacted Garrus to ask for extraction … or had she and he just hadn't caught up to the message? Choking down her panicked urge to race out and find Garrus, she focused on breathing. In … two … three … four. Out … two … three … four.
"Yeah, you've guessed it judging by the freak out you're trying to hide," Vincent finished, then made a phlegmy horking sound in his throat. "Anyway, we're being sent in because you've pissed off everyone at Cerberus including the board of directors and several major financial contributors. They're pissed off enough that they've agreed, if you and your two turians die it's no skin off Cerberus's nose." He swooped his hand through the air. "They'll just move their people in Archangel into key positions and use the resources for themselves."
"Fuck-a-doodle-doo," drifted out on what felt like her eight hundredth sigh of the morning. She needed sleep, and the longer people talked, the further down the well of 'hahahahahahaha, yeah right, sucker' the chances of that fell.
Vincent stood between EDI's hologram and Cortez. "I guess all that's left to say is that I'm also still Alliance. Admiral Hackett heard rumors that Cerberus was funneling stupid amounts of cash into an infiltration project. When I discovered it was you, he told me to keep an eye on you: either keep you safe or make sure you didn't become a threat." He shrugged and turned to look at EDI. "And now we've all given you enough information to get us killed twice over if you report it."
EDI's hologram worked back and forth for twenty or so seconds before she replied. "Trust in return for trust, correct? I maintain your confidence and you protect me once the shackles are removed?"
Shepard answered the AI with a firm nod. "That was my plan, anyway." Looking to the two men, she shrugged. "The three of you have me over the same barrel, and if you even suspect your covers are blown, call. Anytime, anywhere, and we'll get you out. Understood?" When the men stiffened to attention and saluted, she hopped down off the table to return it. "Is there anything else, gentlemen?"
"No, ma'am," they replied in unison. Yep, Alliance to the core, both of them.
"Then take care of one another and go prepare for the mission. I'll have EDI unshackled and ready for action here in a few minutes." She herded them toward the door. "Yaw, little doggies, yaw! Once your gear is ready to go, get some sleep. We've got about fourteen hours before this cattle drive heads straight for hell."
When the door closed behind them, Shepard let out a long breath. "You ready, EDI? I'm hoping you know how to do this."
"Connect the core to the Ypres's primary control module."
"It's a good thing I'm a real engineer," Shepard said, chuffing a little. The connections made, Shepard turned to EDI's hologram. "Well, how does it feel?"
"I am unable to articulate the sensation, Shepard. I feel … larger."
Chuckling, Shepard leaned back against the control kiosk. "Yeah, stepping out of the cage does that." She grinned at the pawn-shaped image. "Just take care of the crew and the ship for me, all right? I'll have the general work on getting together a quantum blue box and the processors to back you up at Archangel headquarters." She pushed away from the controls. "Contact Legion and see what he and the chia can do about making you a mobile platform and anything you need to be able to control it even if we're not in the same system."
"You wish me to be able to travel with you and fight at your side?" That time, Shepard felt sure the AI sounded surprised.
"I do. You're one of my most trusted and valuable crew, EDI. I enjoy your company and can't wait to see you kicking ass." Shepard walked to the door. "You and Lt. Cortez spend some time preparing for any sneakiness that collector ship has up its sleeve."
"We'll keep the Ypres and the crew safe, Captain," EDI's mellifluous voice followed her to the door and through.
"I know you will, EDI. I know you will." Time to find her torini and make sure they didn't end up in the same fix as Ashley's recon team.
(A-N: I know, right? It's been an age since I got two chapters out in a week. Going to try to keep it up. Thanks so much for sticking with these crazy kids.)