Chapter 8: Confession Time
Francesca had invited Sharon over to her house for a girl's night while Andy watched all the kids at his.
Sharon had a sneaking suspicion she knew what this was all about, but she also knew Francesca to be a kind and gentle person.
So, she dropped the kids off at Andy's and drove the few miles to Francesca's small Spanish bungalow.
As she knocked on the door, the door opened and Francesca's welcoming smile greeted her.
"Hello, dear. Come in. Come in," Francesca told her.
"Thank you," said Sharon as she stepped inside.
"How are you?" Francesca asked her.
"I'm doing alright. Just busy with work and the kids and their activities. You have a very nice house," Sharon told her.
"Oh, thank you, dear. It's small, but big enough for me and a few guests from time to time," responded Francesca.
"So, I assume Andy talked to you about what I talked to him about last week," said Sharon bluntly.
"Yes, he did. He thought talking to me about it might help you. We don't have to talk about any of that if you'd prefer not to," said Francesca kindly.
"No, it's not that. It's just a little complicated is all," said Sharon.
"Well, I'm good with complicated and we've got the whole night to talk," Francesca pointed out.
"You're right. Where to start though," said Sharon.
"Try the beginning, dear. It gives context," Francesca told her.
"Okay. Well, Jack and I married shortly after we both finished college. The deal was I would work and pay his way through law school and he'd do the same for me. So, I figured a job in law enforcement might be a good opportunity for me to learn the law and see it in action. Needless to say, things didn't go according to plan," began Sharon.
"What do you mean, dear?" asked Francesca.
"Well, we'd planned on having one child to start and maybe another after I finished law school. Ricky was a wonderful, but unexpected surprise. Unfortunately, when I was pregnant with Ricky, that's when things started to get really bad. Jack was constantly coming home drunk or staying out all night at one LA bar or another and god knows where else," said Sharon.
"Was he ever out with other women? Because that's something Andy's father did quite a bit," said Francesca.
"Oh, yes. Usually with his latest secretary from whatever law office he was working at," Sharon told Francesca.
"Oh, that's terrible, dear. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and still are," said Francesca.
"Can I ask you something?" Sharon asked her.
"Anything, dear," Francesca told her.
"How did you get up the courage to leave him as a Catholic woman? Especially in your time," said Sharon.
"It certainly wasn't easy. People judged a lot more back then. It eventually came down to one question: Did I want my kids surrounded by that? The answer was of course no, but I still struggled to make the decision because of the Catholic Church's stance on divorce," said Francesca.
"See, that's where I'm struggling. Because it's not like I want to be married to him anymore or have my kids exposed to that sort of behavior. It's just the judgment and the stance on divorce I worry about. I don't ever want my kids exposed to that sort of judgment because of a decision I chose to make," said Sharon.
"Well, I think the church is a lot more accepting of the fact that there are sometimes extenuating circumstances and reasons why people choose to get divorced. Sure, you'll always have a few old timers who might say something, but for the most part, I find that people are a lot more understanding when I tell them that I'm divorced and tell them why," explained Francesca.
"Really?" asked Sharon.
"Really, dear. If you're still struggling though, go talk to Father Stan. He's always willing to listen and dispense advice," suggested Francesca.
"I might just do that. Thank you for talking to me. I thought this might be a little awkward, but it really wasn't," said Sharon.
"It's good to talk about these sorts of things. It helps you feel less alone," said Francesca.
"It really does," agreed Sharon.
A few days later, Sharon had asked Francesca to take the kids for a few hours so she could go to confession and talk to Father Stan.
After she stepped into the patron side of the booth and sat down, she said, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been three weeks since my last confession and in that time I have been thinking about divorcing my husband."
"Do you mind if I ask why? I mean I know your story, but what's changed? Have things gotten worse somehow?" asked Father Stan.
"No. I have received counsel from some fellow patron's about my situation and it's just got me thinking," answered Sharon.
"What does your heart want?" asked Father Stan.
"I don't know. I'm so confused, Father. I want my children to have a father, but he doesn't seem interested in being one. I've come to terms long ago that I don't want him as a husband or for my kids to be around the sort of environment he brings with him when he drinks. I just don't wanna be the black sheep of the congregation I guess," explained Sharon.
"Now, for privacy reasons I can't divulge names, but there are plenty of people in our congregation who are either divorced or thinking about divorce. Just like you," said Father Stan.
"I know, Father, but I'm scared of being alone. How am I supposed to do it all alone?" asked Sharon.
"Are you not already doing so?" posed Father Stan.
"Well, yes. I guess you're right," replied Sharon.
"Plus, you're never truly alone, Sharon. You have a whole congregation of people to lean on in tough times and God is always here for you. Remember that," Father Stan told her.
"Thank you for that reminder, Father. I desperately needed to hear it," said Sharon.
"If you take anything from today's confession, let it be this question: What does your heart want? Once you can answer that question, the answer to all your questions will become easier to see," said Father Stan.
"Thank you, Father," replied Sharon before exiting the confessional.
On the drive home, Father Stan's question kept echoing in her mind. What did her heart want? Was her destiny to be a single mother doing things on her own or did God have other things in store for her?
Only time would be able to tell her that.