Miranda looked in the parking lot, but she didn't see Ben's car. She needed to get some clothes. So she walked inside.
She walked to the bed room and looked around. His drawer with his clothes was pulled out and empty. She knew he was gone because she didn't see his carry on bags anymore. She sat on the bed feeling defeated. Miranda looked over as she saw her engagement ring across the room on the floor in the corner.
She walked over and picked it up. She clicked her teeth. "He's gone." She said out loud. Miranda had to talk her self down from crying.
She decided to leave another voice mail because she knew he wasn't going to answer.
She picked up the phone and sure enough it went to voice mail. But this time the voice mail box was full, so she couldn't even leave one.
Miranda was stressed out. She didn't know what else to do.
She decided to just write a letter and maybe he could read that and know that she genuinely was sorry.
Miranda let a month go buy. She got tired of calling and getting no response In return. She didn't want to give up on him, but at some point she had no choice.
"Hey Bailey. How are you." Richard asked. She looked tired but he didn't mention it.
"I'm okay. I just dropped Tuck of at daycare. It's Tucker's weekend so I'm just going to try to sleep this weekend.
"Any word from Warren."
"No, he still hasn't answered my calls and sometimes they go straight to voice mail." Miranda said sadly.
"Come with me." Richard said walking.
Ben had just home from his 24 hour shift. He was really tired. He walked to his room and got straight in bed. He fished around for the remote to the tv. When he couldn't find it, he looked under his bed. He reached for it and also pulled out the envelope that was up under there.
He looked at Miranda's hand writing. She'd sent this letter a month go and he never opened it. He opened it began to read.
Dearest Ben, I want to tell you I'm sorry a thousand times, but I know my apology can't undo what has been done or ease the pain in your heart. Cheating on you is certainly an unforgivable mistake. I totally deserve all the anger and resentment from you for what I have put you through.
However, it also pains me to know you are hurting as a result of my misbehavior. Guilt burns in my heart thinking of all the hurt that you must have felt because of my recklessness. Each time that I think of you, I get angry with myself because I caused this. I did this.
I'm feeling like this because there is still love for you glowing in my heart. Otherwise, I wouldn't have cared one bit and moved on. But I don't want this relationship to end. I still care deeply about you and love you with all my heart. I truly want you to be happy again with me still being a part of your life.
Well, a mistake is a mistake. I know I don't have the right to ask anything from you when I have foolishly betrayed your trust in me. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another opportunity to prove to you how much I love you, I will be very, very relieved indeed. For that would mean I still have the chance to love and cherish you as you deserve, and a chance to make your future a happier one with more laughter and more us.
Lastly, I just want to say that I have faith in my love for you. I have faith that we will overcome the odds and make our relationship even better than before. Give me another chance and I have faith that, one day, we will look back at this and be glad that we didn't walk away from each other.
Loving you always, Miranda.
Richard walked to a conference room and open the door.
"You need to go see him." Richard said sitting down. Ushering her to do the same.
"I can't just show up out of the blue. It just."
"I'll handle that Miranda." Richard said walking to the conference room phone.
She watched as he began to dial a number. "Hello. Thomas. Yeah, this is Richard. I have a wonderful innovative surgeon. Doctor Miranda Bailey. She is a gifted surgeon and I was thinking that we could have her visit your hospital to inspire and teach your surgical interns for two days and have them rotate on her service. This is something that I have been wanting to kick off the ground for a long time and I would love for you to give it a shot. My hospital will fly her out and pay for every accommodation. All I need is for your approval and a date."
Miranda watched as Richard talked and smiled. "Hold on one sec…. Hand me a paper and a pen" Miranda got up and grabbed it for him.
"Alright this is great. I appreciate this….. thank you. Have a good day ."
Richard hung up and turned to Miranda.
"Monday coming. You have completed privileges, all you have to do is give your name to them at the front desk." Richard said firmly.
"Thank you. You are a good man " Miranda smiled hugging him.
Monday came and Miranda walked inside of UCLA medical center. She looked around at the hospital, it was actually a really nice place. She looked to the guide finding the surgical floor. It was 5:30 in the morning and she was actually not tired at all, she was nervous. Nervousness traveled through her body to the top of her head, down to the bottom of her feet.
When she got off the elevator she went to the front desk. "Hi I'm doctor Miranda Bailey. I'm from settle Grace." Miranda said showing the women her badge. The women looked at her computer smiling. "It's nice to meet you. Our Chief told us to take great care of you. He even set aside these 3 case files for you to read… Follow me, I will show you where to get scrubs and the attending's lounge to keep your things."
"Okay thank you so much." Miranda said following the women down the hall. She handed Miranda a pair of surgical green scrubs.
Ben walked into the locker room. To get changed and ready for rounds. "Good morning y'all." Ben said setting his stuff down opening his locker.
"Did you hear, we have a guest attending today. Brought in by the Chief. She is supposed to be a wonderful, gifted , no nonsense surgeon that is going to show us how it's done." Samantha said.
Ben didn't know that. He was off for the last two days.
"I heard that she is a badass." Kevin said as he put his scrub top on.
"Well I was getting breakfast this morning and other male attendings were whispering about her. A couple of them said she was sexy" Angela said.
Ben looked around at them gossiping. "Well did any of you get her name." Ben asked laughing.
"Nah"
"Nope"
"I didn't hear that part"
"Come on before we are late Angela said.
They all got up and walked down the hall way. "Is that her." Samantha asked.
The women's back was turned.
Ben took in her short curvy frame. He knew who she was before she even turned around.
Why was she here. He thought.
They looked as she dropped her pen.
"Dam I think I know why the attendings called her sexy. Look at her ass. She is a like a human hour glass." Kevin said.
Ben wanted to agree but it was Miranda he was talking about. "Cut it out." Ben said seriously.
He started to walk slower.
When they stopped in front of her she still had her head down reading. " Hi I'm Samantha Taylor but you can call me Sam." Sam said extending her hand. Miranda looked up and she had to stop eyes from getting big. She didn't think Ben would be her intern, she thought shehe would just get the chance to see him in person and talk to him. She looked down at the women's hands before back up to her face. "I have 5 rules. Memorize them. Rule number one: Don't bother sucking up. I already hate you and I'm pretty sure with only two days. That's not gonna change." Miranda said ignoring her hand and walking through the hospital. She was really just trying to familiarize herself with the place. " As long as I'm here. Trauma protocol, phone list, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run! That's rule number two! Your shift starts now and last 48 hours. With Me ,You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop, and don't complain! As you already know, On-call rooms. Attendings hog them. Sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three. If I'm sleeping, don't wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four: The dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason. We clear?
"Um excuse me doctor. You only said four." Angela said with her note pad.
"Oh that's simple. When I move you move. Let's get to rounds." She said walking down the hall way. She stopped and turned around looking at them. Squinting her eyes. "My name is Doctor Miranda Bailey. Chief of general Surgery at Seattle Grace hospital in Seattle Washington." She said before looking back and forth between all of them. Giving Ben long glances. She saw the look of annoyed and discomfort on his face.
" it's supposed to be five of you. Where is the other one."
They all turned as Sean jogged up. Sean Wright…Dr?
"Doctor Bailey and your are late. To the pit." Miranda said sternly.
"Alright let's move along." She said continuing to walk.
"Ben is that your Miranda. Your finance." Samantha asked. All Ben could do was nod his head.
"She is kind of harsh…cold." Angela listed.
"Fiesty…hot." Kevin said.
"Watch it." Ben said to Kevin annoyed.
"Good morning." Miranda said to the patient. "Dr. Taylor can you give us the pre-op evaluation." Miranda said
"This is Ruby Smith post-op day 2 after a removal of the left renal artery. Currently listed status A1 for a transplant.
"What are the signs for renal failure. Dr. Warren" Miranda said looking back over her shoulder.
"Whole body : water-electrolyte imbalance and fatigue" Ben spoke.
"Urinary symptom?" Miranda questioned.
"insufficient urine production or urinary retention." Ben said once again.
"And?" Miranda questioned. Dam she missed him, she thought. He was intelligent. She missed his voice.
"other common symptoms are shortness of breath, swelling, excessive amount of acid in blood and tissue." Ben finished.
"Hmm they are teaching you well." Miranda said out loud pleased.
After they finished the last two rounds. Miranda went to the attending's lounge to sit down for a while. Just as she went inside she felt someone tug her arm. Looking up she saw Ben with a stern face. She looked inside the lounge making sure no one was in there.
"What the hell are you doing here." Ben asked loudly.
"Excuse me." Miranda asked.
"What are you doing here?" Ben said once again with his arms crossed.
"Webber is starting at new teaching program. Where teachers come in for two days and teach other interns. Someone for your hospital is teaching in my space today."
Ben looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"But sense I'm here this is the perfect opportunity to talk. I have gave you space but there are things we need talk about."
Ben turned to walk out of the door. "Benjamin Warren. Don't you dare walk out of that door. I might have made a mistake but you owe me ad least a little respect. This is not you. You are not the kind of man who would do this."
Ben stayed with his back facing her and let go of the door.
"Okay." Miranda said blowing out a breath choking up on the brink tears.
"Ben, First let me say how sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused you. I know an apology now will do little to heal the pain. I don't know if you read my letter or not, but I can't go on walking around, with out you knowing, thinking that I'm remaining silent as if I don't care one bit about what I have done and the bitterness it brought you. I know that not many can live with the idea of being cheated upon because that's one of my own fears and I know that few can put the past behind them and revive a troubled relationship. Not many can find happiness with a partner who has betrayed their trust. I understand that perfectly. The wound in your heart requires time to heal and it is only right that I allowed and continue to give you the space to do so, I'm not sure if I can you enough.
This relationship of ours is now at a crossroads, but I know that the decision of where we go from here is not mine to make. I relinquished that right when I cheated on you. If you feel that you can no longer love me the way you used to, I will accept your decision, although it will be with a ton of regret and sadness. Because deep in my heart, I still love you and wish fervently for a chance for our relationship to bloom once again.
But to me, what matters is your happiness and well-being. If you can no longer feel love, trust, and security in our relationship and wish to walk away, I won't stop you. Once again, I'm truly sorry for what I have done. Whatever you decide, all I want is just for you to be happy." She finished wiping her eyes.
Ben looked back over his shoulder at Miranda crying. He wanted to remain strong. He hated how much he loved this women and how much her sadness and tears weaken him. He didn't want to talk because he would take her back and he wasn't ready to do that. He didn't know if he even wanted too. So instead of talking, He put his hand on the knob, turning it. Leaving out.
"I guess I just got my answer." Miranda said letting more tears fall.
"Hey Doctor Bailey. Jordan Harris. Has Major bleeding around the incision spot." Kevin said coming to the door.
"Oh gosh I'm coming." Miranda said wiping her eyes getting up.
"She is going to need a minor second surgery to redo the closing on her liver laceration and then reclose the incision sight." Miranda said too the interns.
"I will allow one of you to assist and actually do the closing. The first one who can tell me the main cause of a bleed around the incision site." Miranda said.
"An injury to a blood vessel can cause bleeding after surgery. Other causes include medicines such as aspirin or anticoagulants." Ben spoke.
Miranda rolled her eyes. Of course it was him.
During the surgery. She talked Ben through closing and what to look for. She wanted to critique his knots but she didn't want to really talk. She clicked her teeth knowing she had too. "Dr. Warren I would suggest tying a knot like this. She took his hands in hers while he still had the utensils and guided his hands. Showing him how to form a perfect not.
"Great, good job." Miranda said. When the surgery was finished. She dressed the womb and then left out.
After Miranda's next day was up. She told the interns good bye. Although her and Ben was officially over. She still did enjoy working with him and the other four. "It was nice meeting you all..you all are very intelligent and hardworking. You will make fine surgeons." Miranda wished them well. She talked with other doctors and other attendings. Before leaving out of the front door. Out the corner of her eye she saw Ben sitting on the bench.
She looked over for a few seconds before walking straight ahead. Leaving to go back to her hotel. Ben watched as Miranda left and he shook his head getting up to go back inside.