The chattering inside the cafe, combined with the scent of smoke and perfumes had given Hotaru a slight headache, so she put her earphones on and listened to a song by Kalafina, while waiting for her to come. Chibiusa ( who, by the way went with the name Serenity nowadays since the names Chibi nor Small Lady did not fit the princess who was finally able to grow up physically) and her had decided to meet at 4 pm, and as always Hotaru had been punctual. She did not complain though, she always enjoyed sitting by herself at a cafe.
Almost six years had passed since the final battle with Shadow Galactica, and since then Hotaru and the other guardians had the chance to live on with their ordinary lives. Ordinary in the sense of, they did not encounter monsters from another dimension daily anymore, but still their existence on the earth of this century served a purpose. They were supposed to lead the world into the new age with the battles to come, and they would see the beginnings of Crystal Tokyo, the long promised era of peace in the galaxy. That was their hope anyway.
She was their hope. The heir to the throne of the future city, daughter of the Sun and the Moon.
When the waiter checked on her, Hotaru ordered an Americano and a strawberry milkshake. Just after that, she saw Serenity enter the cafe. The princess had grown up to have a celestial beauty, to no one's surprise. She was easily recognizable with her pastel pink hair ( she often "joked" to her friends about her hair naturally being that color, with a straight face) in braids that day, and she was wearing an adorably kawaii dress with pink and white stripes on. Kawaii was not Hotaru's cup of tea but she found it adorable on her friend. When the two were together, Hotaru always thought she looked too boring or ordinary.
She raised her hand to catch her attention. Serenity waved, quickly came towards their table and sat. Removing her pink face mask, she apologized for being late. "I had to help clean the mess Usagi made in the kitchen", she explained casually. Hotaru smiled, trying to imagine the home life of the lunar family. "It's okay, I haven't been waiting for long. I ordered the usual thing for you" she said pointing to the milkshake.
"You know me well," Serenity sounded joyful, but Hotaru thought she sensed a hidden sadness beneath her voice. She had said that she wanted to talk to her, after all. She wondered what was going on in her mind.
"How have you been? We haven't been catching up lately," Hotaru started, taking a sip from her drink. She had been too busy with college lately that she merely found the time to talk with her own housemates.
There was a shine of melancholy in her red eyes, that Hotaru found herself concerned. She had to say the right things. She felt uncomfortable with dealing with someone else's emotions, but if it was for her she was ready to give all that she could. She was the hope for the galaxy, she had the heart that should be protected by all costs.
It is not just for the duty of a guardian though. It is because Hotaru loved her with all the celestial atom in her. Not as her human self, but as a celestial being. It was not a romantic feeling. It was divine.
"I don't feel him in my dreams anymore." Serenity spoke slowly, her small hand playing with the tip of her spoon. Hotaru did not need to ask who she was referring to. They all remembered Helios, the priest who lived on Elysion, who dwelled in the far future that they could not reach as they are now. Serenity had recently found out that she could not go back to the future, that door was locked for her and her trials would be here, with her guardians and many battles to come.
"I see…" Hotaru muttered, realizing the heavy burden on Serenity's soul. Not only she could not go back home, and she had to live centuries of battles and trials to claim her throne one day, but she had lost something which helped her hold on. Her connection to Helios through her dreams were a source of eternal strength and joy for her. Hotaru could not begin to imagine, she could not emphatize with her in her current position. She felt ashamed, for not being able to make her feel alright.
"Serenity… we all know you are destined to be with him. You just have to be patient." As long as she spoke she realized how pathetic it sounded. It was reasonable and correct, but it was also cold. She was cold. Maybe she could not help him, as Usagi could.
Then it occured to her, that Serenity had chosen to open her heart to her, instead of her own mother.
"I don't want to hear about destiny anymore, not from you." Serenity spoke in a low tone, it sounded like she was trying not to cry. When that happens to the Moon folk, they usually end up bawling their eyes out.
But the princess kept her composure as she continued. " For centuries, Hotaru. I was a child for centuries, I thought I was never going to make it. My crystal would never shine, I would never grow up… But now that I have my adulthood and my power, I don't feel like I have achieved anything. All I see is this long, hard road ahead of me, an uncertain future, and I feel rootless! I know I will go home one day and I will meet him, but what if that future does not come to be? Setsuna said… she said that we should not let down our guard and hope for everything to be alright, because we can go astray and that future could be lost… I could get lost! He is the only one who helps me believe in my dream…" She stopped to catch her breath, and took a sip from her milkshake. Her cheeks had gone red with the emotions.
Hotaru had no idea what to say. She shared some of her friend's anxieties. Setsuna had indeed warned her about different timelines and universes, and that they should not take the utopic Crystal Tokyo granted. The future would be theirs if they could make it so.
She loved him so much, that much Hotaru knew, and she did not resent it, no. Her love for the princess could not mix with the likes of jealousy. She had no idea how to live a romance in your dreams, for sleep to be your secret heaven. Her dreams were nothing of the sort.
"You are grieving, Serenity." Hotaru said softly, and the pink haired girl shivered with the grim choice of words. "You lost something that brought you joy in your dreams. Why do you think that is? Helios would never abandon you. I think it happened because you are finally growing up."
The red eyes flashed briefly with disappointment. "Are you trying to tell me dreaming is a childish thing? It is not a fantasy Hotaru, we connect in my sleep! At least we used to… I woke up each day and felt as if he was warm beside me. His love gave me so much strength. Without it, how can I go on?" She became silent, as if thinking for an answer to her own question. She lowered her head and bit her lip. " It is not that I am lonely here, of course. I am sorry if I offended you."
Hotaru shook her head. "Why did you tell me these? Why not Usagi? I am sure she would understand better. I have never fallen in love like that, not with that much passion as you two did."
Serenity contemplated this for a while, then looked at Hotaru with thoughtful eyes. " Usagi would understand, but she would not make me any less sad, most likely she would be sad for me and we would be sad together…" She chuckled, hearing how funny that sounded. Hotaru smiled sadly. Serenity continued with more composure.
"I don't know if you realize it, but since you reincarnated again, you are different. I loved you just the same before, when you were just Hotaru and not a guardian, but now as… as Saturn, you are more than my best friend. You comfort me, you keep my… feet on the ground."
The conversation was going quite differently than what Hotaru was expecting, but she thought she understood. In this incarnation she was indeed different, much different than the previous one where she was so sad and lost that she could not help anyone, even herself.
"It sounds weird but… Its like you are my rock. You are always here for me, my safe space, you always help me. I am just so grateful that you exist."
Hotaru felt some sensation in her throat, the feeling of intense emotion. Her existence. She was the apocalypse maiden, as Haruka called her. Her purpose was to trigger apocalypses with her Crystal, to be the bringer of destruction.
But for the princess, she was something else. Something a lot less grim, a lot less depressing.
She reached to hold her hands. Despite growing up, her hands were still small and soft, for a second Hotaru felt herself lot older.
"You are stronger than you think, Serenity." She spoke with complete honesty and sincerity. " You may lose your dream for now, but you are here now, for this planet and future. You are the most important person in this galaxy. You have all of us believing in you. I believe that you will hold on, and lead us all in the future battles to come."
Serenity shed a tear then, but she did not look sad anymore.
She looked into Hotaru's eyes with gratitude. "Thank you so much for being here Hotaru, I mean it."
Before she could think of something to say, Serenity waved to the waiter. "Two blueberry cheesecakes please!" And like that, she returned to her usual cheerful self.
Moon folk' s moodiness were so hard to grasp for Hotaru, but she loved that about them.
That night Serenity did not dream of Helios, but her mind was filled with security and hope.
Hotaru stayed up until late, thinking about their future and the anxiety it brought. After some time she remembered her own advices and trusted that everything would be alright.
The light that shined from the moon would guide the way.