Poseidon threw his towel over his broad shoulders while confidently walking through the halls of his palace. It was a wonderful day. Absolutely perfect for a swim in the river Arun, in Nepal. With a snap of his fingers, Poseidon was standing by the Riverside. He dropped his towel to the ground and strechted a few times, before he dove into the water.
Mortals would get hyperthermia if they stayed in the river for longer than two minutes. Yet, Poseidon was a god and that made him capable of swimming in a low-ranking river when he desired to do so. He swam up to the surface of the river. While taking a deep, refreshing breath he gazed at the mountains around him. He smirked. The mountains still looked just as good as they had on the day he had created them.
His euphoria dissappeared like snow in the sun when someone violently pushed his head under the watersurface. The sea god screamed and flailed his arms around. He heard a yelp, followed by a splash. With a swift motion he turned around. Behind him there was a woman gasping for breath. When she retrieved her balance, Poseidon could see the rage in her eyes.
'What are you doing in my river!?' The woman screeched.
'Your river? I am the god of the ocean! Every body of water belongs to me!'
'''The god of the ocean'', therefore the god of salt water, not rivers and lakes.' She took a few seconds to study Poseidon from head to toe. 'And even then only from the salt water around the mediterranean area, I reccon, lord Poseidon.' She smirked.
Poseidon flipped his magnificent black locks over his shoulder. He widely spread his arms. 'I'll have you know I made these gorgeous mountains all around us! If I want to, I can be around my own creation!'
A few wrinkles appeared on the forehead of the goddess. 'Are you really trying to say that... you created the Himalaya?'
Poseidon puffed up his chest. 'You heard that correctly, little miss. I made this gorgeous mountain range that ''your'' river runs through.' Even though he felt angry that he was attacked and dismissed by this extremely minor goddess, he could not help but feel proud.
The goddess slowly shook her head. Poseidon could see in her eyes that she thought he was a huge dunce. 'No, Poseidon. Brahma made them. The creator himself. Not you. Go back to your silly little seas.'
The comment made Poseidon boil with anger. He commanded the water to rise up, in order to attack the goddess with a large wave. The goddess shook her head again. With a handwave, she shut the wave down (this was her river, after all. She had final say on what the water did).
Poseidon reacted in the very mature way gods react to these setbacks: by changing the goddess into a carp. Nice, she thought - carps could always quickly swim away from any situation. She would change back a few miles ahead and let Poseidon have his moment of victory. It wouldn't take long for the others to arrive.
The god of the ocean was, indeed, celebrating his (rather small) victory. Silly little river goddess, thinking she could do something to him! The mighty Poseidon! He raised his arms for a second refreshing dive, when he felt something hitting him in the back.
He turned around faster than lightning. Behind him, a tiger was standing in the river. Not just any tiger, though. Poseidon could see that it was the Egyptian earth god Geb, who had inhabited the tiger as a host.
'What do you mean, I made these mountains!?' The vocal cords of the tiger made Gebs' voice hoarser then usual. Poseidon did not know whether to start screaming, attack Geb, or just give up, go home and swim in the atlantic ocean for some time, away from annoying other gods claiming stuff as 'their river' and his magnificent mountains as 'their mountains.' Gosh, why were other gods so selfish?
He turned towards Geb. 'Have you let someone check your ears lately? I created these mountains, sandhead!' He yelled. Geb flexed his muscles. A few rocks on the shore rolled into the river. Poseidon could feel the earth rumbling underneath his feet. 'Which one of us controls the earth, Poseidon? How could you have made these mountains?'
'I caused an earthquake near Kayala. It was so big it caused two earth plates over here to collide as well, forming these marvelous mountains!'
Geb took a few steps forward. The body of the tiger started to feel hot - the host must not be strong enough for his divinity. 'No, no, barnaclebeard. I knocked my fist onto the floor - hard. It caused parts of the ground all over the earth to rise up. The rocky mountains, the andes, this, it is all my work.'
Poseidon did not know what to say. It was so untrue, so false, so completely made up, that he had no words for it.
'Distrauggt by the truth, Poseidon?' Geb grunted.
'...No, I am distraught by the gaul of everyone today! The river goddess claimed the creator of these mountains was Brahma! You try to claim the credit for yourself! All while It was me!'
Geb crouched down, getting ready to jump, when the tiger suddenly incarcerated and turned to ash within seconds. 'Just wait...' Geb said in the moments before his spirit got carried away. Poseidon sighed deeply. He truly couldn't with other devine beings sometimes.
Annoyed and distraught, he stomped to the side of the river, where his towel was laying. He threw it over his shoulder, before teleporting himself back to his palace.
Amphitrite was sitting in the living room when Poseidon came stomping down the hall. With a flick of his fingers his clothes changed from swimming trunks to his regular wear. He pushed open the door to the living room and dropped onto a couch, pouting. Amphitrite refused to pay attention to him for the first few minutes he was sitting there. She looked up when Poseidon sighed, sat up straight and straightend his clothes. 'What happened?'
'I wanted to go for a relaxing swim in the river Arun, next to my gorgeous Himalaya mountain range when two weirdo's popped up and tried to claim somebody else made them!'
A wrinkle appeared on Amphitrites' forehead. 'You're Lucky it were just two devinities. I believe the Himalaya has one god for each mountain in the range. The creator could have been any of them.'
Poseidon had never felt so betrayed. He disappeared in a gust of wind, which Amphitrite was wholly unimpressed by.
Poseidon had not payed a lot of attention to the place he teleported himself to. He appeared back in the Himalaya, the thing most on his mind right now. He was sitting right next to a grand palace. With an earthquake-causing sigh (He was very sorry for east-Nepal) he yet again teleported away, to another part of the Himalaya. He was sick of the mountain range at this point, but he was even sicker of teleporting around (Literally. He should stop teleporting around right this moment or his breakfast might come out the wrong way). He dropped into the snow with a deep sigh.
The lord of the ocean had a very clear memory of the earthquake in Kayala, but he still begun to worry if he had really been the one to make these mountains. Maybe it really had been Geb or Brahma - both gods were older then he was. Or it could have been an accidental group effort.
His deep thoughts were interrupted when he was catapulted into the air. He turned his body so that he could look at the ground. 'Oh, hello, Skadi. You aren't even a goddess, so there is not a chance that these are your mountains.'
'That's where you are wrong!'
Poseidon screeched incomprehensibly, before teleporting away again. He could just keep his food inside his stomach. The world around him spun wildly. He sunk to the ground. When the room stopped spinning, he slowly got up and took a moment to see where he was.
Alright, now this was beyond weird. He was inside a dimly lit room, with one window. Outside, he recognised an arena the gods had once created together in order to settle a dispute about... who had made the northern light. Oh. He realised he was seeing the arena from the room of a contestant. While scanning the windows on the other side of the arena, he noticed another god doing the same. They quickly pulled the curtain in front of the window.
He looked around the changing room. A trident was laying on a plastic lawn chair. He slowly picked it up, before walking towards the door. There was no reason to stay in the changing room - it was dirty, uncomfortable and he could already here the cheering of the gods who came to watch the spectacle outside.
The cheering got louder and louder while he walked down the spiral staircase that lead to the arena floor. Poseidon strenghtend the grip on his trident. Not that he was nervous, of course not.
He stopped walking when he reached a portcullis. Behind iron portcullis laid the arena in which he would defend his honour and his rights to the credits of the gorgeous mountains he created. He heard someone hyping up the audience. It sounded a bit like Bragi, but Poseidon wasn't sure. Oh well, it did not matter. He just had to show the other gods what for.
The portcullis rolled up with a rattling noise. Poseidon stormed into the arena. Dust rose up all around him. Right in front of him Poseidon saw a god he did not recognise. With a wave of his arms he raised the floor around the god. The god stomped his foot onto the ground. Poseidon clutched his trident as he realised that the god had Geb's aura.
From the right side, a minor god from an ancient religion Poseidon did not feel like remembering caming bolting towards him. The sea god smashed his trident into the sand, causing a wave that washed over the god. He heard the other god yell, but did not pay attention to it. The puny devinity would sink through the ground and appear in the losers' chamber - that was how the arena worked.
Poseidon had one goal: going after Geb, the second person that came to mind when he thought of this whole ordeal (The first person that came to mind was the river goddess, but he figured she would not be fighting in the arena. She did not think she made the Himalaya and that was what the battle was about).
Geb was sinking an earthquake demon into the ground when Poseidon appeared behind him. With a few magical whispers, he made the earth around Poseidon rise up. The sea god smashed his trident into the ground, so that water appeared, which kept him from sinking down into the losers' room. When he realised he was safe, he send the wave Gebs' way.
The earth god dropped through the ground and right into the losers' room. An earth god stood no chance against Poseidon's enormous flood. Water wipes the earth away, after all.
Poseidon cheered in victory. He had done it, he had really done it. He had defeated Geb. He gave a loud cheer. See? It was his Himalaya after all! He had proven him stronger than Geb, therefore the earthgod couldn't possible have done it! Victory...
Poseidon heard a rumbling sound behind him. The next moment, all he felt and saw was a damp darkness.
Only when he found himself sitting on a manky lawnchair in the losers bunk he recognised he was defeated. To make matters worse, he was currently seated right next to Geb. They both took a deep breath. 'So. What happened?' Poseidon shrugged.
'If I have to guess, Brahma.'
'Of course! Because he made the Himalaya!' He heard a familiar voice chirp. He looked over to see the river goddess sit a few chairs ahead. He rolled his eyes and turned away.
The god to his left pushed a cup of coffee into his hands. 'Here. It is extra strong. We'll need it.' Poseidon nodded, defeated. He would hear about this for years, year hunderts, eons to come. Every devinity in the room could use all the coffee they could get.