APRIL 1920
It was so nice throwing big parties
Jumping to the pool from the balcony
Everyone swimming in a champagne sea
And there are no rules when you show up here
Bass beat rattling the chandelier
Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year
The baby was tiny, delicate like a fairy. I smile through my tears at her pretty face and little hands.
Tom should be here to see her. Tom should be here. He promised me he would give me everything. And he has given me grand houses and fine cars, beautiful dresses and wonderful jewels.
He has given me a angel of a daughter, but none of it he shares with me. It is all for me to enjoy in my solitude. I thought by marrying Tom I would be escaping from my loneliness, but like one never experiences the same love twice, one never experiences the same aloneness. I am no less lonely than before, just differently lonely.
I wish I had never thought anything. I wish I had never felt. I wish I was a dumb as a beast. A fool. A beautiful fool who can marry anyone and be satisfied.
But alas, my life is over. I am twenty-one but I feel fifty! I can only hope Pammy can find more satisfaction in life than I have, by being a beautiful fool herself.
This is why we can't have nice things, darling
Because you break them, I want to take them
And here's to my baby
Nice things, honey
Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?
This is why we can't have nice things