"Your arms look really good," Sakura Haruno, the bane of his childhood, cooed. "Have you been working out Sasuke?"

Yes she was being improper, yes he had already rejected her advances, but Sasuke ignored her. She was like a child, begging for his attention. To even acknowledge her words would be to encourage them.

"Have you caught any unusual scents?" Sasuke asked Kiba. They had been scouting the forest all morning. It would have been faster to fan out, and search separately. Other shinobi would have brought more sensory types, perhaps a larger team, but Sasuke was patient and methodical. Yes more men would make it easier to find The Yellow Flash. It would also make it easier for The Yellow Flash to find them. A tight formation was what the mission required, led by the Inuzuka's powerful nose.

"A shit ton of 'em," Kiba said, not breaking stride. "But I'm not really sure what I'm looking for."

...Well, he hadn't brought the Inuzuka for his keen intuition so he had no right to be upset.

"We're looking for a scent trail that just ends," Sasuke explained patiently. "As if the person leaving it had teleported."

Kiba nodded, and took a couple sniffs. "Aw hell yeah!" His head jerked, and he started hopping from oak to oak heading East. Closer and closer to Whirlpool. Hopefully none of the others mentioned that stupid rumor.

"You know," Shisui said, right on cue. "There are a ton of actresses from Whirlpool. They say the women there are the most beautiful in the entire world. Maybe you'll even meet one who'll get you out of those books Kakashi."

Of course. The most important mission in Konoha's history would obviously devolve into a team of elite jounin gossiping like little schoolgirls.

"Maybe," said Kakashi, turning the page in his erotica.

"I've been looking forward to it," Kiba said enthusiastically. "I used to have a crush on this one blonde child actre-"

"Keep your focus on the mission," Sasuke said woodenly. It was one thing for Shisui, Kakashi, and even Sakura to be distracted by such drivel. For them there was some utility, it lessened their nerves. But he needed Kiba sharp now, when they were tracking their enemy. Once they'd found him, Kiba could do all the whoring he liked in Whirlpool.

"Well Konoha has the most handsome men," Sakura said, batting her eyes at Sasuke.

Kiba stopped. He jumped down to the base of a sycamore tree. A three-pronged kunai was embedded in its trunk. It was just as he remembered, from that night. The bursts of yellow, Mother and Father running to fight the demon. And Itachi, ignoring his duty in favor of protecting his helpless little brother. As if Sasuke hadn't even been a shinobi!

Well Sasuke wasn't a weak little genin anymore! He'd grown.

Sasuke took a breath, and pulled out the special kunai from the wood. He felt the cold steel in his palms, as cool as the anger raging through him. He knew that these kunai were sensitive to movement. He felt Kakashi and Shisui tense behind him. Any moment now, they would be facing the most powerful shinobi in the entire world. One mistake, one careless error could cost him his life, could cost the lives of his entire team, could spell the end of Konoha. He knew they all felt the same way. But they were all experienced, they all had the nerves to handle-

"Guys," Kiba said, his voice soft with relief. "This isn't him. I thought it was strange, but the scent… This can't be The Yellow Flash."

"How would you know?" Sasuke asked, trying to push down his rage. He needed to be thinking clearly, but… "You stayed behind. You hid like a coward. You have no idea what The Yellow Flash smells like, so don't tell me this isn't him!"

What was he doing? Somewhere in the back of his head he knew this was stupid, picking a fight with his sensor. He knew he was causing a distraction, one they couldn't afford, but Kiba… Kiba was saying… He knew the fucking special kunai, he fucking knew what he was seeing. This was his damn chance to make the world right, and he wouldn't be told he was wrong.

"I don't need to know his scent," Kiba shouted, "All I need to know is the difference between a male and a-"

Kiba disappeared in a flash of yellow. What the? Wha- Sasuke's pulse exploded. This was the moment he'd been waiting for, this was the moment he'd been surviving all these years for. He activated his sharingan, and a searing hatred within him, long alight, flared like never before. But it wasn't hot, it was cold, and it made his thoughts more clear than ever.

"Everyone, back-to-back," Sasuke barked. He tossed the kunai in front of Kakashi. Sakura and Kakashi took position beside him. Sasuke's eyes were tingling, itching, the veins inside felt so flared it felt like they were bleeding.

A barrage of kunai rained down from the sky, but by the time Sasuke looked up, he could only see a yellow flash, and by the time he brought his eyes back down Sakura was already gone.

Sasuke picked up a kunai beside him. There was a paper seal along its handle. Paper. Sasuke shared a glance with Kakashi and Shisui. They knew what needed to be done. Words would only waste time. Sasuke's hands sped through the well practiced signs, as quickly as possible.

"Fire Style!" And the three of them launched the Uchiha Clan's signature jutsu across the forest's undergrowth, incinerating all the seals.

But as the forest blazed orange, a shadow appeared in the time between flickers. Something wrapped around Sasuke's arms and legs, tightened and restrained him like a constrictor, before he could so much as turn his head. But he was still here. And then Sasuke heard the words he'd needed to hear, in Kakashi's cool understated voice.

"Tsukuyomi." The jutsu lasted five seconds. Sasuke struggled to get his head around, as he was wrapped in blue chakra chains. The Yellow Flash was smaller than he remembered, and had covered his face in an orange spiral mask. Sasuke smirked, he hoped it was because he'd been disfigured. And then... Kakashi and The Yellow Flash were gone.

Wha-what? No, no this couldn't be happening! All the years he'd spent rehearsing this fight!

Tsukoyomi could not fail! And yet it had... His plan had failed. His plan had fucking failed! Sasuke clenched his fists, they were sitting fucking du-

"Kotoamatsukami," Shisui whispered, and The Yellow Flash stilled before him, dropping to his knees on the mossy undergrowth. Koto- What had Itachi told him of that jutsu- No!

"You have to kill him," Sasuke screamed, straining against his chains. "Avenge our fallen comrades!"

"Revenge is no path to peace," Shisui said quietly, contemplatively, and for a moment Sasuke hated him and his stupid, sad smile even more than The Yellow Flash. For the first time Sasuke wished he had the Mangekyou, so he could Amatersasu Shisui, and his stupid ideals all the way to the fucking afterlife. For the first time Sasuke wished he had trained harder, for the first time he felt he had wasted his time at the Academy, for the first time Sasuke yearned for the power to take revenge on his own. He could not trust his comrades. And then Shisui spoke, his words quiet, almost drowned by the afternoon breeze. "You will not, nor will you ever attack Konoha or any of its shinobi. You will dedicate your life to bringing about peace."

The Yellow Flash looked up, and stood, rising to his feet slowly, his knees quaking. And then blue chakra chains leapt from his tiny hands, restraining Shisui. Then they were gone.

"NO!" Sasuke screamed, his momentary hatred of Shisui forgotten in a flash. This couldn't be happening, how could the two most powerful genjutsu have failed? The monster flashed before him laughing, and it was so high pitched it just seemed wrong.

He placed a soft hand on Sasuke's shoulder, and suddenly he was in a cave, restrained with the rest of his team. The cavern was huge, so large that a small forest of deciduous trees had grown atop the rocky shale, sunlight shined in from a crack far above them. He heard the crashing of waves in the distance, so they must have been just outside of Whirlpool. It was beautiful, awe-inspiring, as good a place to die as any other, but of course there were no good places to die.

He struggled against the chains restraining him but he was too weak for it to do any good. He should have dedicated his life to power, he should never have trusted others, and now he was going to die for his foolish mistakes.

"You fool Shisui, you could have killed him!" But Sasuke's anger at Shisui was soon eclipsed, for Kakashi was unrestrained. What was happening? The man had been his best friend, the person Sasuke had trusted more than any other, the only one he'd felt had understood him.

"Can I have your autograph?" Kakashi asked The Yellow Flash shyly.

Sasuke had trusted the man, despite his stolen sharingan, he'd believed his explanation, and now it turned out he was a fucking traitor! How long? How fucking long?

"I always appreciate my fans," The Yellow Flash said, his voice as nauseatingly high as a girl's. In a practiced motion, his pen danced along Kakashi's erotica. "Each and every one of you."

"Why didn't it work?" Shisui asked miserably, struggling helplessly against his chains.

"Kukuku," The Yellow Flash cackled evilly. "Your stupid genjutsu tricks won't work on me, foolish Uchiha. For it is I!" The Yellow Flash removed his mask…

…

Her mask… She was… She was a gorgeous girl, more beautiful than any he had ever seen, but she was not The Yellow Flash. And she was doing some ridiculous pose, as if she were some super sentai in one of those creepy kid's shows.

"Who are you?" Sasuke snapped. Depending on her answer, how forthcoming she was, he may just let her live. "What do you know about The Yello-"

"No!" Kiba gasped. "It can't be true!"

Shisui grimaced.

"I don't believe it," Sakura cried.

What? Why were they all acting like she'd revealed something important?

"Believe it!" The girl said, grinning broadly as if she'd said something clever.

They must have all been traitors. It was the only explanation! That was why the mission had gone so wrong.

"Kukuku," the girl said, backflipping onto a stone stalagmite, the sunlight on her forming a natural spotlight. Her smile was unnaturally bright, her teeth so white they practically gleamed. "It is I! Naruko Uzumaki! The world famous child actress! Believe it!"

What? She couldn't expect them to believe that, they weren't fools. She moved with the speed and grace of a trained shinobi, and she knew several advanced jutsu, she was obviou-

"What happened to you?" Kiba asked.

"Nothing!" But the girl touched her perfectly tanned cheeks. "I'm still in demand! Believe it!"

"With what?" Kiba asked, glaring suspiciously. "I don't see you in anything anymore."

Why did it even matter? It didn't fucking matter. They needed to know how she had learned The Yellow Flash's jutsu, not listen to the incoherent delusions of a crazy kunoichi.

"I've been practicing my ninja skills! Enough to take you down!" The girl shouted, frowning and stamping her foot like a child throwing a tantrum. Kiba's stupid question had actually offended her. Such expressiveness was unbefitting a kunoichi of her caliber, and was deeply unsettling. She hopped from the stalagmite, and stomped over to Sasuke. She rubbed his lips, and looked him over. "You know, you're pretty handsome. I think you've got what it takes to be a star. Believe it!"

What?

"Kamui!" Shisui shouted, and Sasuke's restraints were suddenly gone.

"With a face like that you must be driving all the girls crazy." Naruko ignored the removal of his chains, and even took a few steps back, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Why ruin it with fighting? You're not even good at it."

"Run!" Shisui gasped. But with that jutsu, and Kotoamatsukami, Shisui's chakra reserves had to be empty, his eyes half blinded by the day's events alone. Sasuke couldn't just abandon his comrade. "Prepare the village! She's even stronger than her father, and she has even more reason to hate The Leaf than he did!"

What? Father? Sasuke staggered backwards.

"You knew my old man?" Naruko asked, smirking. "You sure? I mean he wasn't even in any movies, but then he was a pretty well known shinobi. The Yellow Flash." Naruko stared at his headband, and narrowed her pretty blue eyes. "He had a feud with a village called Konoha. And they killed him."

And finally, Sasuke felt that the world was starting to make sense again. Kakashi's hesitation seemed more natural. The man had always been too soft. It was a weakness Sasuke did not share.

"You're his daughter?" He asked, his voice quivering.

"No," Naruko grumbled. "I'm not The Yellow Flash's daughter. He's the world famous Naruko Uzumaki's unknown father. Like, people would say, 'hey did you know that Naruko's father was a shinobi? A pretty good one too. Crazy right?'"

"Don't listen to her," Shisui shouted. "Just look at her cheeks! She hates the Leaf!"

"Who me?" Naruko asked, frowning for the first time. "Angry with Konoha, that village of warmongering murderers? No way. Not me. And what's wrong with my cheeks?"

"What we did to him," Shisui said desperately. "Sasuke, how we tried to break him, it made me sick. If you think the Senju are immune to our Curse of Hatred, you are a fool. Now run!"

Run? What curse? There was no love without hatred. And seeing this little bitch who looked so much like her father, had all his jutsu, well she was earning him a lot of love, because all his hatred for The Yellow Flash, it was all on her. Maybe it was wrong, maybe he was being irrational, but Sasuke had never claimed to be perfect. He'd never claimed to be a good person, he'd never claimed to follow any moral code, and he didn't care about Konoha's Law of Iron, nor any of its other silly principles. All he wanted was to kill this little blonde bitch, and make the world just a bit better. And if it started a war, well he didn't really care honestly.

"What's wrong with my cheeks?" The Blonde Bitch asked again, slightly louder. "The question is what's wrong with your eyes. They're all weird and…"

"Susanoo!" Sasuke shouted, and a pair of giant protective ribs surrounded him, protecting him from The New Yellow Flash's special kunai. He was not a genin anymore, he could recognize evil when he saw it. And when he saw evil he exterminated it. That was his nindo, his ninja way.

"Aww," The Blonde Bitch cooed. "The pretty boy thinks he's strong."

She crossed her fingers… Where had he seen that jutsu be-

NOO!

"Amaterasu!" Sasuke yelled, finally feeling the strain of his two jutsu. He knew full well the price of using the mangekyou's techniques. Blindness, chakra, pain, and misery. He felt them all. He couldn't see anything as he cried tears of blood, his eyes felt like they'd been stuck with a thousand searing needles, his chakra reserves were so low he could barely stand, and his misery… His misery was not caused by the mangekyou. No, that came from the sound that pierced the darkness. A symphony of high-pitched laughter echoed through the cavern, mocking his efforts. He could hear it all around him. And as his vision returned, the fuzzy yellow surrounding him sharpened into an army of thousands of the most beautiful and powerful kunoichi in the entire world.

"Amaterasu! Amaterasu! Amaterasu!" Sasuke cried desperately, dropping to his knees, drops of blood trickling down his cheek and splattering against the shale. But The New Yellow Flash was too… He hadn't hit a single damn one of them! The shadow clones teleported from his flames, dodging his attacks with infuriating ease. He put a hand on the ground, to keep himself from collapsing.

"You know, my mom told me all about the sharingan," The New Yellow Flash said conversationally, as if all Sasuke's attacks hadn't so much as inconvenienced her. "She was a shinobi too. I know how it works. So the question is..."

He didn't have to see her to know that she was sneering, that the heir of the Senju was looking down her nose at the entire Uchiha Clan, as she delivered her last line with contemptuous sincerity.

"Who have you seen die?"

Sasuke screamed.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! I originally wrote this story to act as an advertisement for my other fanfic Misplaced Glory, so if you want to see more of the dynamic between Sasuke and Naruko you'd probably enjoy that story if you haven't already read it.

Unless this story explodes in popularity, there will probably only be one more chapter.