Bro it's like the universe didn't want me to complete this chapter on time. Like I just got horribly sick (probably with the funny C virus) the day after my internet died, like bruh…
This is the longest chapter I have written.
Ending is trash ngl.
Nah is say it explains a lot of stuff event if I myself consider it to be… well, not my original vision.
At the end of the day it's about the journey, not the destination, and I feel like the journey was above average, in terms of the funny at least.
Anyways, the final chapter.
I'll make an overall review at the end, but I had fun writing this chapter, even though it's kind of stupid. This ties in to my next Kirby fanfiction, makes the… less then good thing that is this fanfic kind of sense able, and more importantly provides a semi-satisfying, not satisfying, definitely not satisfying ending.
Just like Kirby games, pulling the actual threat in at the last second. Yep. That's my excuse for this garbage. I love this hahahahahahaha.
Every paragraph is related to something that has happened, or that will happen, so uh… m'yeah.
But if you wish to skip that all, I give this whole thing a gold star, and I explain why near the end. I also now realize that ranking stuff with numbers is stupid.
Anyways, I just want to say thank you and…
Well I'll say the rest at the end.
Please, have a good read, and stay safe.
{===}
Chapter 17: Artifacts and… are these facts?
"King Dedede slammed his hammer into the middle dark figure, knocking it back into the wall and killing it instantly." I mused to myself.
"That's not what happened." They replied.
"Well yes, that's what I wished happened. The battlefield was a cascade if black, blue, red, and all assortments of vibrant colors, and the best part about it was that it wasn't even the part."
"The part?" They asked.
"The part, yes." I responded. "Let's talk about the part before we get to their little fighting episode."
"It's wasn't supposed to happen, wasn't it?" They asked.
"They thought they were fighting dark matter at first." I reminisced. "Keh… I wish I could've seen what was happening."
"Elaborate."
"Well, I couldn't have, no if I did then all of this wouldn't have happened." I laughed. "But you want to know what's funny?"
"…"
"Everything that led up to this moment. This entire thing was planned you know? Not necessarily all of it, I wasn't planning uh… I wasn't planning what would happen for the ending, I should still have a house, those Artifacts shouldn't be out there…"
"Really now?" they asked me like I was a child. "Explain."
"The worst part, they found out in the worst way. I didn't know what I was doing, I remember, I just blurted it out in a frenzy. Keh, keh heh…."
"Well, it's nice to remember isn't it? Why don't you remember what happened?" they asked me like I had done something wrong. "For the government record."
"Of course."
{===}
Meta Knight watched as King Dedede grabbed his hammer, then swung it against the dark blob in the middle of the opposing group. Unfortunately, his swing missed as the one in the middle jumped over and slammed into him, knocking him backwards.
"Logged." The person in the chair, who's name he wasn't going to remember said.
"What in tarnation are you yapping on about with this logged business?!" Dedede asked. "Wait, were you that person fr-"
"Dedede focus!" Meta Knight interrupted, as the two dark things with the swords seemed to have their sights set on him. "We're currently under attack."
"Yeah, just deal with those sword losers, and get off of my case!" Dedede replied.
"Understandable." Meta Knight replied, as he looked towards the two dark things holding the swords. They seemed to be keeping a distance, probably trying to scope him out, like this was some sort of game. But like this was some sort of game, Meta Knight knew he didn't have many options that were good for approaching. He would have to play the waiting game.
Then, like a carefully coordinated chess player, one of the sword welding dark objects stepped forward. Floated forward? Forwarded an email? Well, they were getting closer and that's all that mattered, as Meta Knight stood his ground, waiting for the next move ever still.
"Logged."
"Logged…" Meta Knight pondered to himself. "What are they logging?" he knew this wasn't a lumber mill, so what could they mean by logged?
Dedede apparently heard him. "Well, I don't mean to spread any disinformation, but they're probably logging the actions that we're doing, kind of like they did when I was in that cage room."
"That's what they did?" Meta Knight asked, his eyes shifting between opponents. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"
"You didn't ask, duh." Dedede replied. "B'sides, it's not like that would be important for nothing." Dedede said, as he blocked an attack from one of the dark beings. "Unless you got any ideas?"
"Hm…" Meta Knight stopped to ponder. "How good of a dancer are you?"
"I won best dance choreography at the Oscars." Dedede replied. "Why?"
"First, we need to get these dark things away from us." Meta replied. "Just do like how you would do in Smash Brothers, it's simple."
"I don't have any Gordos." Dedede replied.
"Then spam your aerial moves, obviously." Meta replied yet again. "But make it quick, I don't want anything else about myself logged."
{===}
"Hey, uh… whatever your name is!" Ribbon said to Madison. "Get in here, we kind of need your help!" but Madison didn't seem to be responding well to the calls. Ribbon had been keeping a fair distance from the large one, letting Kirby do most of the attacking.
"Poyo!" Kirby said, looking back to Ribbon, probably telling her to focus or something.
"I'll just stay here." Madison said, sounding like an absolute idiot, one who probably deletes their account for getting called a curse word on Xbox Live.
"How do we approach?" Sword Knight asked Blade Knight, looking back towards Sword Knight.
"I don't know, he's just waiting for us to do something, like some sort of… er… waiting person?" Blade Knight paused. "Like a waiter!" Blade Knight finished. "How do we approach that?"
Kirby wasn't having trouble approaching, he had a lot of options. His last attack had somehow been blocked by the large one, despite showing no signs of being able to block. The dark matter looking things hadn't really been emoting at all actually, which was odd.
"Hiyah!" Kirby yelled, as he tried to rush the large one with multiple aerial kicks, which unlike before seemed to work as the large dark things was knocked backwards near the wall momentarily distracting the one with the sword.
This distraction seemed to be enough for Sword Knight and Blade Knight, as they rushed forward towards the swordsman and-
Clank
The swordsman parried both of their blades, as slashed at them, forcing them to head back. Ribbon looked at what was going on, and really needed to get into the action. She then looked to Madison.
"You're coming in." Ribbon said, as she went to grab her arm.
"Huh?" but before a hilarious reaction could come from her incredibly weird mouth, Ribbon had grabbed her arm, and began to drag her into the room, for whatever reason without much protest, despite the fact that this obviously wasn't what she wanted.
Through trial and… no, just trial, Ribbon mad managed to pull Madison into the room, and as soon as she did, the Elevator door closed behind them, like this was a horror movie, or a grocery store, or any other place with automatic doors. Okay… what was next?
{===}
Dedede ran up and swung his hammer in a wide arc at the aggressive black blob, but he missed. Dedede slid to the side, and dodged another aerial move. Dedede ran forward, going up to grab the blob, and to his surprise it actually worked. It was kind of easy actually…
Dedede held the blob in his hand, grabbing it by it's… he wasn't actually holding anything. Like, if it had the hands of like… a Waddle Dee he would be holding something, but the blob had nothing there.
Odd.
Anyways, Dedede peered around the room to look at his options to throw, and in a plot second made his decision. That high flying one seemed like it wasn't paying attention, probably the best option. Knowing this Dedede spun around, and with a decent amount of his strength he threw the dark ball!
And he missed.
Did he?
The dark ball definitely didn't hit the flying one, and it definitely didn't hit the wall, but it hit something. Something that wasn't there. "That's stranger than a cat with a dog's tail." Dedede said to himself.
"DEDEDE, FOCUS!" Meta Knight yelled, as he held his own against the other sword wielding, circular things.
"Okay, fine." Dedede groaned, turning his attention back to the ones he was fighting. They were… standing there. Floating there? Idling there? They were motionless, that's a good way to describe it. Like they had heard some sort of mysterious voice.
{===}
"Huh?" Kirby asked himself, looking around. Strangely, he had heard some sort of mysterious voice.
"Kirby." The voice said.
"Wait… you're still here?" Kirby asked. "Bummer."
"Okay, I'm here to help and you still want to be a douchebag?"
"You literally tried to destroy the galaxy." Kirby responded. "You didn't do anything to redeem yourself." He added. "And you probably enjoy pineapple on pizza."
"…"
Kirby turned his attention back to the large dark blob, who seemed to be looking at him with that same blank expression from before. Kirby-
"Don't attack."
"Why not?" Kirby asked. "They're attacking us."
"Don't you find the fact that two remnants of Dark Matter happened to show up in some random room, right at the same time your friends disappeared odd?"
"No."
"…"
"…"
"Just don't attack."
{===}
Sword Knight was sweating under his suit of armor like he was at the beach. He hadn't attacked, neither had his opponent, but the flagrant anticipation of it all. They were close, the enemy closer to the wall, but there was still the possibility of a sneak attack, maybe it would summon a projectile? Or call upon three other friends? Or die, make a corny jokes about gender, then be gifted three different weapons that were switchable at a moment's notice, the possibilities are endless.
But they weren't really, and Sword Knight knew this. The opponent was probably expecting an attack, and they would probably go for a block in retaliation. But Sword couldn't grab, the enemies blade would be in the way. The best option… what was the best option?
The best option…
Is to…
Bait your opponent.
A simple tactic really, pretending to do one thing, but actually doing another.
But what could he do?
What could he do… hm…
Sword Knight took a step backwards, hoping the enemy would see this as an opportunity to attack, an opening if you will. His suspicions were correct, or at least that's what he assumed to be, as the enemy moved it's blade backwards, probably to attack.
Sword Knight seized the opportunity, swung his sword forward, and…
He missed.
The enemy had moved backwards, and now Sword Knight was unfortunately wide open. He braced, and as expected was flung into the wall behind him, not knocked out thankfully, but defeated by that abnormally decent swordsman. If only Meta Knight was here, he would make quick work of him.
Where was he anyways?
{===}
Meta Knight was correct in his assumption that the enemy would be an idiot and expect him to fall for idiotic tricks like that. Who did they think he was, of his Knight's? No… his Knight's wouldn't try such an idiotic tricks like that, much less fall for it.
But it wasn't time for thinking about theoretical possibilities, there was something far more important that they had to do. "Dedede, over here!" Meta Knight called, backing up towards Dedede.
"Is it time for your plan?" Dedede asked, walking sideways towards Meta Knight.
"Your assumptions are correct, but this is going to sound incredibly odd when you hear it." Meta Knight replied, his back directly touching Dedede's by now. "So it's rather simple, you must spin."
"Spin?" Dedede asked. "What will that help?"
"Well, if we aren't being logged with our actual abilities, it will confuse this… whatever their name was, and hopefully confuse the enemy." Meta Knight explained. "Any objections?"
"I've honestly got thirty-five, but the faster we get this over with, the better." Dedede replied. "So, when are we going to start spinning?"
"On my count of three." Meta Knight told him. "One…" Meta Knight peered at the enemy who didn't seem to be moving, and probably wouldn't approach. "Two…" Meta Knight took a deep breath in. "Three!"
{===}
Kirby watched in amazement as the last thing he probably expected to happen happened. The two things… they were spinning. Rotating, like a group of children playing ring around the rosie, except two balls of dark matter. Were they attacking? Was this like a phase two?
"Are they okay?" Ribbon asked, looking like she had just figured out Epstein didn't mysteriously die.
"I can't tell." Madison replied, looking like she had just seen the comment section of the Nintendo partner showcase.
"What should we do?" Sword Knight asked.
Kirby however, realized what this was something more. There's no reason this version of Dark Matter would be spinning without meaning something. Dark Matter usually never did anything for no reason, at least not from what he had seen. This either wasn't Dark Matter, or the more likely option, a challenge. And he wasn't backing down.
Kirby.
Began to spin.
He didn't know why, but this seemed right. It was imperative for the situation that he spun. Kirby began to move towards the two Dark Matter things, and as he did they probably saw the pressure he was putting onto them. They did the unthinkable.
The Sword wielding Dark Matter began to jump around, almost like a ballerina, moving around gracefully, yet forcefully at the same time, probably trying to mess up his flow. Kirby however wasn't backing down, and made a graceful jump over the large one, spinning faster midair in such a way, it would probably get him a ten in an ice skating competition.
Meanwhile, Ribbon was…
How would you describe pure and utter bewilderment at something? It was… it was simply amazing how, suddenly they just… speen. Not spin, speen. They just suddenly decided to speen.
…
Was this supposed to be funny?
Was this some sort of out of season April fool's joke?
More, importantly though, for whatever reason, Ribbon felt like spinning. So she began a slow spin, towards the middle of the group, still flying higher than the others, but somehow feeling on the same level. For whatever reason, she felt like she was connected to everyone in the room, like she had known them before…
Nah.
Probably just a coincidence.
{===}
Dedede was getting rather dizzy, but it this were to work, it would probably be something to check off the bucket list. He hadn't been able to see much, but something had jumped over him like some kind of frog, and something else was spinning.
"What are you doing?" Kelstri asked, probably still in that stupid chair.
"Nunya." Dedede replied, as he noticed out of the corner of his eye more things began to spin. Dedede slowed down for a split moment, and to his surprise, everything in the room, minus the absolute loser in the chair was spinning. For some reason, this was working.
"…" Kelstri seemed pissed off, though he couldn't tell due to the lack of face, it was fairly obvious. "If you don't stop, I assure that, just… just stop."
"Let us leave the area, and I assure you…" Meta Knight suddenly stopped next to the chair and pointed his sword towards it. "You'll survive to tell the tale."
"…"
"…"
"You know, this reminds me of a story." Kelstri said. "There was this… girl who found this thing, it gave her many abilities, very interesting you know?" she asked. "But the girl then found herself surrounded by idiots like you.
"What are you on about?" Mega Knight asked.
"I'm the girl in this situation." She responded. "And you… you've gone through so much, and despite that you're here." She explained. "You are still here despite that fact that you're… you're out."
"Out of…"
"Out of… stupidity." She said, beginning to get louder. "You've solved many past ventures by sheer luck, stupidity if you will." She said sighing. "It just so happened that…" she paused. "That's it."
"Explain yourself."
"It just so happened that the evil magic man left you the means to defeat him, it just so happened that a Friend Circle pad appeared, it just so happened that you miraculously had your ship ready despite no buildup to it whatsoever!"
"…"
"But now, it just so happens that you've lost." Kelstri explained. Then, for both parties, the dark figures began to disappear, leaving an empty and confused room. It was strange at first, but things slowly began to ramp up, as the floor underneath Meta Knight and King Dedede began to slowly disappear, becoming more and more transparent until…
They fell.
Just above Kirby and the other, the ceiling suddenly opened up, and without warning, for no particular reason, Meta Knight and King Dedede fell from the sky. Meta Knight landed alright, but Dedede landed directly on his face, and probably would've needed medical attention, if this was an actually serious fanfiction.
Dedede and Meta Knight got up, and before they could even comprehend what was going on, Kelstri spoke.
"I used to like you, honestly, but…" she paused. "I've just had enough!"
"Poyo?" Kirby asked.
"Oh lookie here!" Kelstri exclaimed. "It's the hero of the universe, here to save the day with his infinite power right?!"
"Po poyo?" Kirby asked yet again.
"NO!" she yelled. "None of this makes sense, UGH."
"What about it don't make sense?" Dedede asked.
"This was just supposed to be a game honestly, but here I am breaking character like an imbecile!" she yelled as a loud thump was heard. "Oh, new technology, go to your favorite fictional world, do shit, blah blah blah, it SUCKS!"
"Is she okay?" Ribbon asked. "She seems unhinged."
"Probably off her rocker if you catch my drift." Dedede replied. "By that I mean-"
"We got the joke." Sword Knight responded.
"I swear, this is all just… like a bad fanfiction or something." Kelstri sighed. "I was supposed to be this cold calculated villain, Ally was supposed to be like my right hand man, and we had all this set up until this moment!" she yelled.
"At this point-"
"Just shut up with your filler dialogue!" Kelstri yelled. "Listen, I don't know why I'm yelling, you're not even real!" she exclaimed. "Here I am, on a Livestream, trying to get internet famous, screaming at a stupid puffball and his band of Mary Sues!"
"Who's Mary Sue?" Ribbon asked, before correcting herself. "Sorry."
"You know what, I honestly wanted to have fun, I wanted to see what would happen if people came to Popstar, but you know what…" she let out a massive sigh. "I'm done."
"With what?" Meta Knight asked.
"With all of this, with you." Kelstri responded. "But it can never be done, you'll never forget, because you can't delete the worlds you visit, so you all will live your lives as they were, woopdie freaking do, bye bye!"
"Wait, so we're free to go?" Blade Knight asked.
"Yeah, take Adeline over there as an added bonus." Kelstri said as Adeline began to come to. "I saw what I needed to, I'll just come back later." She muttered. "Now get out so I can end this stupid game!"
Dedede listened to everything she just said, didn't understand a word of it, but more importantly he didn't give two flying fridges. He was here for one thing, and one thing only, and he would never leave without it! Dedede pointed a finger up to the sky, took a deep breath, and with all his strength, said…
"No."
Everyone looked at Dedede like he had just chose the worst vice presidential running mate, and still thought he was sane.
"What." Kelstri said. "What do you mean no?"
"I mean, you don't know what you're talking about!" Dedede said. "First off, who the hell are you to call us Mary Sue's, when you literally took nearly all of us out in one go?" Dedede asked. "Second, if you don't like it so much, why are you here in the first place ya liar?" he questioned. "THIRDLY, I AIN'T LEAVING UNTIL I GOT BANDANNA WADDLE DEE, AND THAT'S FINAL!"
"Nah." Kelstri replied. "Like before, get Adeline and get out."
"No." Dedede responded. "I ain't getting out."
"Ever wonder where your friend Popcorn went?" Kelstri asked.
"Nope, not really." Dedede replied.
"Not at all." Meta added. "Whoever that is."
"Well, they were a really stupid idea, so I just kind of deleted them from the game, y'know?"
"...huh?" Dedede asked. "What game?"
"It also happens that along with deleting things from the game, you can also transfer things." She added. "So let's say I transferred your friend Bandanna Waddle Dee to my PC, and I'm not transferring him back."
"There ain't no reason you can't transfer him back though." Dedede replied. "I said I ain't-"
Suddenly, from the ceiling, a chair rolled down and fell directly in front of them. The chair rolled around, revealing what looked to be a silhouette of a person with pigtails, but there was a missing… color on everything. A checkerboard pattern of magenta and black surrounding it all, like something was missing.
"I couldn't find a texture for the model." She said, as she suddenly pulled a laptop from out of nowhere. "You won't end it?!" she asked. "I will."
So, despite the protests of King Dedede, out heroes decided to leave the strange place and head back t the lands of Dreamland. The team lamented the loss of Bandanna Waddle Dee, but who cares, because he's literally just a Goomba with a hat who'll never be in Smash. They eventually forgot him, and everyone lived happily ever after.
The E-
"Oh no you don't!" Dedede said, as he grabbed the laptop from the silhouettes hand, and held it up high. "That ain't no good ending!" Dedede yelled. "That endings more like a cheap cop-out ending, that in no way represents what the main ending of the story was supposed to entail. It quite literally is one of the worse endings you could've done, right next to this all being a dream in somebody's head!"
"Give me that back." Kelstri said, sounding rather concerned. "You shouldn't be able to hold it."
"Hold it, schmold it, I don't care what I should or shouldn't be able to do!" Dedede snapped. "Now, everyone hold em back while I make a better ending for this story." Dedede said, and everyone nodded at him, as one thing kept them from salvation. Some crazy goon who probably needed mental help.
"GIVE IT BACK!" she yelled. "This should not be happening…"
"Oh, it's happening sister." Meta Knight responded. "Sit back and enjoy the…" Meta Knight paused as Kelstri suddenly got up from her seat, and from her back pocket pulled out what appeared to be some sort of gun. "Show..." Meta Knight finished, pointing his sword at them.
Team Star Allies!
Vs.
Act 3 Villian, I mean Kelstri, yeah.
3…
2…
1…
GO!
Dedede looked at the laptop, and while it looked fancy, it wasn't anything he wasn't used to. Dedede immediately set his fingers on the backspace button to delete this horrible nonsense, until he realized something. He fingers were too big.
"Oh crud, uh Meta Knight!" Dedede yelled to Meta Knight who was holding his sword up to deflect whatever projectile came out of that gun.
"What?!" Meta Knight yelled.
"I can't type anything on the keyboard, the keys are too small!" Dedede yelled.
"Use your thumb!" Meta Knight yelled. "Or the end of your hammer!"
"Right, thanks!" Dedede yelled, as he got to work on deleting this horrible ending passage with his right thumb.
{===}
Adeline was having a lovely, though strange dream. She was walking down a suburban street when she peered down a dark alleyway. She looked into the alley, and saw something shining in a grocery cart. Adeline went over to see it, but then… she woke up. She rubbed her eyes as she began to stretch. Where was she? Adeline looked to the right, and…
…
Uh…
So, there was this checkerboard looking figure, holding a gun, fighting Kirby, Ribbon, Meta Knight, Blade Knight, and Sword Knight, while King Dedede sat down in the background pressing a button on a laptop.
…
Adeline pinched herself, but she wasn't dreaming. This was real life, unironically. Adeline walked over to King Dedede and slowly peered over his shoulder to see what he was doing. "Watcha doing?" Adeline asked, as Dedede turned to her, his eyes widened for a moment.
"Well you see, Meta Knight and I were fighting these dark matter looking things, then the floor disappeared, then that lady appeared with this laptop and said she can rewrite the story, so now I'm trying to write a better ending, but can't because of my big fingers."
"…okay." Adeline responded. "Can you repeat that in English?"
"She's evil, I'm trying to make a good ending, but I can barely type." Dedede responded. "That's as simple as it gets."
"Okay, but…" Adeline looked around. "Where are we?"
"I don't know, some ship?" Dedede guessed. "The location wasn't really established, like at all." Dedede was slowing down on the taps of the backspace key, and the ending paragraph seemed to be almost complete. "Honestly, a lot of stuff on this adventure was confusing." Dedede lamented. "Like, are we ever gonna get an explanation as to what BABY meant?"
"Baby?" Adeline questioned. "What do you mean?"
"You know, that one plot point that seemed really important, but was just kind of dropped randomly for this rushed conclusion?"
"I don't get it."
"Well… we may have some time to kill…" Dedede looked over to his friends, who could probably hold their own for a while. "If this really is a story, the author should have some author's notes somewhere…"
Adeline watched as Dedede minimized a tab, and was met with the desktop of a computer. It was mostly blue with four squares in a lighter blue on the right side, probably a logo or something. There were various applications like "Discord" and "Google." And a strangely named "FunnyArabMonkeyDancesToMegalovania" video file. But more importantly, there was a big folder near the top named "Author's notes."
Dedede clicked the file.
{===}
The gun didn't shoot lasers. It shot bullets like any self respecting gun would. Unfortunately, Kirby had no bullet ability, so I didn't help. If only he had some sort of… some sort of new ability that was introduced in an early chapter, if only there was… perhaps a claw to fall from the ceiling?
…
Nope, this chapter wasn't that bad apparently.
"Kirby, listen."
"What do you want?" Kirby asked, as he tried to close in on… whatever the villain's name was. It didn't work, and Kirby quickly jumped back, arriving in the same spot he was just in.
"I want to help…"
"No."
"Look, I'm basically gone, rather… my physical form is."
"Explain yourself." Kirby said, as Meta Knight seemed to be the main focus of the attacks.
"So that whole… weird OC Poppy thing, from my guess was what she created." They said. "But technically, I am still an original character of this universe, so I technically can't be deleted."
"Oh." Kirby replied. "Who the hell cares?"
"It means, I still have my soul left."
"Which means?"
"Uh… I can basically do anything, you know how it took you like a million tries to beat me in Soul Melter EX?"
"AND?" Kirby asked, waning to get to the point.
"Well, I kind of feel that power, y'know?" they asked. "So, I can try to help you."
"Well… I'll take a double triple bossy Deluxe on a raft 4 by 4 extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease let it burn and let it swim." Kirby replied.
"Anything that's not a sandwich?!"
"Do you got any… claws?" Kirby asked. "Like, machine grabby claws, like a crane game."
"What's a crane game?"
"Like a… mechanical… uh, it's like a mechanical hand type thingy, y'know?" Kirby explained. "Just… try at least, y'know?"
"Okay, I'll try it out, but it may not be what you want."
Then, something… odd happened. Not the typical type of odd, the type of odd you would think of when you see a chocolate factory in Switzerland, or maybe when you see an old man getting dragged down the street by a baby. A text box appeared.
It was just a stationary box, one that was flat, floating midair with seemingly nothing natural about it. Kirby peered at I in confusion, and dead the box.
[Cannot create object memory full]
Memory full?
"Poyo?" Kirby asked himself, somehow confused enough to speak like everyone hears him. "Does it mean like… you remembered too much stuff?" Kirby asked.
"I don't know…" they responded. "I'll try again."
{===}
Dedede had opened the Author's Notes folder, and found himself clicking on something called a "TXT" file. The file took a while to load, so while it was doing that, Dedede looked over to Meta Knight who seemed to be having the time of his life, it having the time of your life meant nearly dying.
Wait…
Sword Knight, Blade Knight, Ribbon, Dedede, Adeline, Kirby, Bandanna Waddle Dee, Meta Knight, Popcorn… were they forgetting somebody?
Somebody who was there, but not necessarily an integral part of the plot for the last chapter. Somebody who…
Oh right that human girl. Eh, she probably broke her spine on the fall down, oh well.
…
Wait… she wasn't on the way down was she? She was on this floor… Dedede looked behind him, and as he did, he really wanted to look away because he just made it awkward, but it was too late. What's her face… Madison or something like that was hiding in the corner, like an unimportant character.
"Hey Adeline." Dedede said, whispering.
"Yeah?" Adeline asked.
"How about we uh… try to make that there girl feel like she's doing something?" he said looking at her. "She ain't do nothing, and it's kinda ruining the vibe if ya catch my drift."
"Who is she?" Adeline asked. "Never mind, what could we possibly get her to do though?" Adeline questioned. "She seems like a character only meant to drive certain plot points, not really a story finisher."
"Story finisher…" Dedede looked at the laptop. "Adeline, you're a genius, you're promoted!"
"I don't work for you." Adeline reminded Dedede.
"Oh." Dedede said blankly. "Well, the point being if we get her to write the story, I don't have to sleep at night knowing that I purposely left someone out!" Dedede exclaimed, not too loudly. "Yo Madison, over here!" Dedede yelled, beckoning her closer.
She pointed at herself, probably asking, "Who me?"
"Yeah you, come on down, you're the next contestant on…finishing this story…" Dedede finished sloppily. "Just get over here." She did as he said, and it wasn't long before Dedede, Adeline, and Madison were standing next to each other while fierce blows were being exchanged in the background.
"Uh… yes?" Madison asked.
"Uh…" Dedede paused. "I need you to read this here file, and then you need to do something else." Dedede ad-libbed, as he shoved the computer in her face.
"Yeah…" Adeline said, putting a hand on Madison's shoulder, which Dedede saw as a red flag. Dedede shook his head, and motioned for her to lift her hand, which Adeline quickly did, but unfortunately her hand was just kind of hovering midair, nowhere to go. "Where do I put my hand?" Adeline whispered, as she moved her hand above Madison's head.
"No, that's blatantly explicit." Dedede whispered back. "Just put your hand down." Adeline moved her hand downwards, towards Madison's scalp. "No, put you hand to your side!" Dedede said, exaggerating his motions to give her a clear idea. This thankfully did the trick, and Adeline's hand was to her side.
Such a crucial paragraph that was, bravo.
"Anyways…" Dedede said. "This here file is the authors notes, and you need to decipher it and whatnot."
"How… do I do that?" Madison asked. "I can read it, but I don't know about deciphering it…"
"Just read it, it's easy." Adeline replied. "You know how to read, right?" she asked. Madison nodded, and the three took a look at the file…
{===}
"Is it me, or am I the only one attacking?!" Meta Knight asked as he continued to dodge shots from the gun.
"I don't have anything to attack with." Ribbon responded. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it, when this is over I'll give you a knife or something." Meta Knight said, rolling left, barely dodging yet another blast. He looked to Ribbon momentarily, she was just kind of floating there, then back to uh… evil villain lady.
"Meta Knight, what should we do?" Sword Knight asked, who was well away from the last second antagonist.
"Clearly you should-" Meta Knight's speech was interrupted as a bullet clanked against his mask, a direct hit that knocked him onto the ground.
"Meta Knight!" Ribbon yelled, as she quickly rushed over to him. "Are you- uh…."
Meta Knight got up, and held a hand to his face, though it was for naught since his… mask… was cracked. "…" Meta Knight looked at the enemy gunner, who seemed to be waiting for something. "You've made an unfortunate mistake." Meta Knight said.
"What, you don't want everyone too see the cute face of yours, despite the fact that a majority of them are probably well aware of your look?" Kelstri asked, sounding annoyed. "I mean, it's not like your face would even hinder your reputation, you can still basically kill anyone you meet."
"…" Meta Knight paused. "What did you just call me?"
"Oh don't play dumb, I called you cute." She responded. "You're seriously not going to go sicko mode because I called you cute, are you?"
"I don't know what sicko mode is, but you've just messed with the wrong knight." Meta Knight outstretched his wings, and glared at Kelstri with all of his power. "Fight me."
"Hang on… let me bring up the chat…" Kelstri said, tapping on the back of her leg. Then a screen shot up from her arm, it was a black glass screen with what appeared to be little pieces of text rapidly heading up like some kind credits scene. "Since this stream will be over soon, I'll ask chat, should I fight him?"
"Enough." Meta Knight said as he rushed forward, quick as a flash, and slashed his sword at Kelstri, who barely had a chance to jump backwards. Meta Knight's sword hit the front of her gun, nearly knocking it out of her hand, and he wasn't done yet. Meta Knight took to the skies, and after he locked onto his target, immediately dived into her, knocking her onto the ground.
"Wow that's kind of cool." Meta heard Ribbon say, but quickly ignored her as he went to disarm the assailant. Meta Knight swooped back in and grabbed the gun with his free hand, trying to take it away.
"No, you can kill me, but you cannot take this gun!" Kelstri said. "You shouldn't be able to touch anything honestly, but I digress!" She tried to yanked the gun back. "Let go!"
"Blade, Sword, Ribbon, a little help here?!" Meta Knight yelled, beckoning them forward.
"Aye aye captain!" Sword Knight yelled as he and Blade Knight ran behind him and began to pull in his favor.
"Ribbon!" Meta Knight yelled, looking around, but seeing no fairy within a three mile radius. "Where did she-" then behind Kelstri Meta Knight saw something he honestly didn't expect. It was Ribbon. Directly behind Kelstri. "Intresting." Meta Knight replied.
"What's so-" then without any warning, Ribbon began to do the only real thing she could do in this situation. She pulled on the back of Kelstri's hair. "What are you doing?" Kelstri asked, moving her hand up to swat Ribbon away as if she was some sort of fly.
"NOW!" Meta Knight yelled to his Knight's. Having a slight idea of what this meant, the Knights used their full power to yank the gun away from Kelstri. The Knight's fell back in a sort of domino effect, and the gun flew midair. Meta Knight looked up as it spun midair, and as he did he heard something from a few ways away.
It was uh… Ribbon's friend, Adeline, yes. Adeline said something rather odd, not really a full sentence. "-is going according to plan."
Then something odd happened, and Meta Knight suddenly found himself to be falling towards a grassy field, headfirst.
{===}
Dedede was listening as Madison read probably the strangest thing he had ever heard in his life. So apparently this goon had written a whole series of plot points that were supposed to convulse into onto story despite the fact that they had never written any fanfic before.
"There was supposed to be a character named… headband?" Madison asked sounding confused. "In a future story…"
"That's the stupidest name I've done heard." Dedede replied. "I mean, who would name a character after something you wear?"
"Well there's Ribbon." Adeline reminded him. "Still the name is really weird."
Madison continued to read. "Apparently my… father is dead?" she asked. "Apparently that was supposed to be a plot point… I don't get how it's a plot point if this is real life however."
"Yeah it really makes you wonder." Adeline said. "Are these facts?"
"That was honestly the worst way to insert the title." Dedede replied. "Zero outta ten."
"Back on topic, shouldn't we be writing an ending or something like that?" Adeline asked. "Wait… there's a a section with my name…"
They scrolled down to the section and it read as following:
"November 27, 1997 Hal Laboratories attempted the first trial of their digital conscious transferal via a test involving one of the workers children. The sixteen year old had been strapped into a machine and HAL Laboratories attempted to put this individual into the game known as "Kirby's Dreamland 3", but unfortunately has not been able to take the child's conscious back. The parent of the…"
"The parent of the what?" Dedede asked.
Madison didn't respond for a moment before continuing. "The parent of the child had this to say…"
"It's a tragedy honestly." The parent laughed. "But we're actively working to bring her back, perhaps some day in the future when the technology is better, I'll get her back, but… not right now."
"So… what does this have to do with me?" Adeline asked.
"Wait…" Madison looked to Adeline. "What's you name?"
"Adeline." Adeline replied. "Why?"
"…" Madison had a look on her face as if she had just figured out the murderer in a mystery novel. "So… that has a high chance to be you…"
"What do you mean?" Adeline asked.
"Well, I don't have it now, but there was a file…"
"And…" Madison took a deep breath. "So the file had your name on it, and the way I accessed it involved putting in the combination B-A-B-Y…"
"B A B Y?" Dedede asked. "Well that spells…" he paused. "What does it spell."
"It spells baby." Adeline said. "Wait a minute…" she looked over to Meta Knight who was attacking Kelstri still. "Madison, exit the file thingy for a moment." Adeline said. They clicked the little X button near the tip right of the window.
"What are you going on about?" Dedede asked. Adeline seemed like she was about to say something, but then got a curious look on her face.
"Click the uh… the images file." Adeline said, pointing to a folder that aptly read "images". They clicked the folder and another window with various subfolders were there. "Click on the one that says textures." Adeline said.
"Pardon, where are you exactly going with this!" Madison asked.
"Just trust me on this." Adeline replied. "I just… I'm sure it'll work." Madison nodded and clicked on the textures button, and there was a single image in the folder.
" "
"What's that supposed to be?" Dedede asked.
"Hand me the computer for a moment." Adeline said. Madison nodded begrudgingly and handed Adeline the laptop. "Yes, I think you'll find that, everything…" Adeline clicked on something Dedede couldn't quite see, the laptop was facing away, and suddenly the computer closed.
Light began to build up in the computer, and Dedede and Madison stepped back as Adeline's expression grew quieter.
"-is going according to plan." Adeline finished.
{===}
"Ok, there are too many textboxes…" they said. They were certainly correct, though nobody else seemed to pay them any mind, they were quite literally surrounded by textboxes, each saying the exact same thing.
"Yeah, I agree, but what if… you try again?" Kirby suggested. "What if… we do it… again?"
"I'm not so sure." They replied. "I get the feeling that if I do, a chain of events will happen that will lead to the termination of this adventure."
Kirby was confused, but nothing about this made sense at this point. "I don't know why you think that, and I honestly don't care…" Kirby replied. "Just do it."
"Fine, but if everyone dies, it's your fault." They tried again, and as they did Kirby heard something pipe up in his… non-existent ears. It kind of sounded like Adeline honestly.
As the next textbox looking thing appeared, Kirby heard Adeline speak. "-is going according to plan." Then something really strange happened. Everything disappeared, and Kirby found himself floating in a dark void.
"Huh?' Kirby asked.
He didn't quite know where he was.
"Well this is a problem." They said, sounding very close. Kirby spun around, and saw… them but in the human looking form from when they were within the glass. "We're either dead,or stuck between dimensions."
"Well, how do we get out?" Kirby asked.
"Well, there is a way, but you're not gonna like it." They replied, smirking. "If we both put our heads together and use the power of friendship, we can both escape."
"We can both?" Kirby asked. "That's not happening."
"Listen Kirby, they're over here, y'know?" they asked. "I'm honestly the only thing keeping you alive right now, y'know?"
"But…" Kirby paused. "You tried to kill everybody."
"Yeah, but like half your friends tried to take over that galaxy at some point." They added. "You're making excuses at this point, all your friends are waiting."
"What?" Kirby asked. "Where are they?"
"They aren't." … Void responded. "I think I get it now, but it's you who needs to make the decision, Kirby."
"…"
"Without you there is no 'Kirby Universe', so your friends don't really exist until you return." Void replied. "So, what'll it be?"
"Hm." Kirby responded, looking around. "You know, I really didn't do much on this adventure." Kirby said. "Kind of weird that my name is in the title, but whatever."
"Yeah, kinda odd."
"But honestly, I can say one thing." Kirby said as he floated over to Void. "I absolutely hate you, but I suppose…." Kirby closed his eyes for a moment. "The real Kirby: Skyfall was the friends we made along the way."
"No."
"Yeah, fair enough." Kirby replied. "Now how do we return to our universe?"
"Close your eyes for a moment." Void said. Kirby closed his eyes, kind of concerned of what was going to happen. Kirby then felt himself spinning, kind of like before, but uncontrollably like he was hurtling towards something. He then felt his skin catch on fire, y'know, a typical Saturday.
…
Oh yeah, his skin was on fire!
"Shhh, it'll be over soon, you won't die." Void said. "Well if you do you'll probably faint before anyt…"
Kirby… blacked out.
{===}
Epilogue
Part 1.
"Ugh, where am I…" Bandanna Dee said, as he opened his eyes. He wasn't anywhere he could recognize, though the location was rather odd. He was… on some sort of beach, the water nearby sparkling like it was filled to the brim with glitter. It seemed like some sort of paradise honestly.
Then from behind him, somebody spoke…
Wasn't to him though, so there clearly had to be somebody else.
"Juh?' the person said. "Who's that?"
"I'm not quite sure, should we ask them?" another person, sounding quieter than the other said.
"Sure, but I'll got first!" the first person said. Bandanna Waddle Dee turned around and cameface to face with uh… well, he had seen them before, it was on Kirby's most recent adventure. Francisca and Flamberge, two of the three mage sisters.
"Excuse me, do you know where on Popstar this is?" Bandanna Dee asked.
"Popstar?" Francisca asked. "That's thousands of light years away." She responded.
In that moment, Bandanna Waddle Dee realized a couple things. He wasn't on Popstar, he didn't have his spear, and he was stuck on a beach with three people he barely knew, and… he was hungry.
Guess you could say he was "Bandanna Waddle Dee: Far From Home" coming like… near the start of 2021, idk. Wait, no he wasn't. He was just far from home.
Really stupid thought honestly.
{===}
Epilogue
Part 2.
Meta Knight was falling, falling rapidly towards a grassy field below. As he was falling, he began to slowly spin, and looked around as he tumbled towards the floor below. There were multiple people besides him, probably the people he was just with in the supposed ship.
Well, they looked to be unconscious, and probably wouldn't survive the fall without broken bones. Meta Knight extended this wings, immediately regaining his air control. Meta Knight first looked for his Knight's, quickly going over and stopping them from spinning so rapidly, as they were doing.
Next, there was Dedede, and…
"Eh, he'll be fine." Meta Knight shrugged. "Who else…" Meta Knight looked around and only saw one other individual, that being Ribbon. Meta Knight quickly flew over and grabbed Ribbon's hand, quickly stopping her freefall. Meta Knight then swooped towards the ground, landing with a slight dust cloud around him.
Meta Knight se Ribbon on the ground, and looked around to get a sense of the locale. They were near a forest, probably the same one he and Ribbon were in momentarily. Well more than momentarily, but you get the idea. Meta Knight turned his attention back to his Knight's, and-
THUD
Huh, guess people fell faster than he anticipated. There was another thud, probably king Dedede, and then another, probably Ribbon's friend. Meta Knight quickly went over to his Knight's. Meta Knight helped them up, and while their armor was scratched, they seemed to be alright.
"Ugh, what happened?" Sword Knight asked, brushing himself off.
"You all fell." Meta Knight said. "I don't know how though."
"Where are the others?" Blade Knight asked. "Are they alright?"
"Dedede and Ribbon are alright, but I haven't seen Kirby." Meta said, looking around.
"Poyo!"
"And, there goes my week." Meta Knight chided as he turned to see… not Kirby. It was that uh… the weird looking thing Kirby had brought along. Kirby was next to it, sleeping like he always was, though he seemed less… moving than before.
"He's not dead." They responded. "But I'll be going."
"Going where?" Meta Knight asked.
"I'm not needed here, so I'll probably travel, I don't really know." They began to walk away. "You'll probably see me one way or another, probably on your own travels."
Kirby began to come to, and they looked at Kirby and smiled. "Bye."
Then they walked off into the distance, probably appearing in some later adventure as a cameo. But what are the chances of that? The same chances of King Dedede walking up behind-
Meta Knight quickly turned his attention to his backside, but thankfully nobody was there. Probably the opportune moment to check up on the others, so Meta Knight walked over to where Dedede was, Adeline having landed directly on top of him.
"Dedede?" Meta Knight asked. "Are you dead?" he asked poking him.
"Hm…wassat?" Dedede asked, groveling. Dedede turned to his side, his eyes springing open. "Oh, so I ain't dead, eh?" he asked, getting up, Adeline promptly falling to the ground. "Woops."
"Glad to see you're well." Meta Knight said. "Where's the Waddle Dee?"
"Well, he's uh…" Dedede looked around, then his eyes got as big as the moon as he seemed somehow desperate. "I don't see him anywhere."
"Huh?" Adeline said, standing up. "What are we talking abou- OW!" she held her hand to her right eye. "My eye hurts…"
"Probably a side effect of falling from the sky." Meta Knight said shrugging it off. "But getting back on topic, he couldn't have gotten far I'm sure." Meta Knight told Dedede.
"I'm still honestly so confused." Adeline said still holding her hand to her eye. "I don't know why I did that thing with the file, it felt so sudden."
"Many things in life are hard to explain." Meta replied. "If it helps I'll organize a search party." Meta Knight suggested.
"Thanks." Dedede replied glumly, looking towards the horizon. It was around midday surprisingly, but to Meta Knight an unknown amount of time had passed.
"Well, I'll see you two later?" Meta asked.
"I guess, yeah." Dedede replied. "Come on Adeline, I mean, if you want to."
"Yeah, I'll come along." Adeline said. "Bye Meta Knight, tell Ribbon I said hello." Adeline said as she walked off, probably going on her own little adventure.
Meta Knight looked back over to the rest of the group, Kirby was walking off, probably back to his house to sleep, and the only thing left to do was get back on the Halberd, and protect Dreamland from other threats. Meta Knight walked over to Ribbon who seemed to be well awake.
"Oh hey." Ribbon said. "What happened?" she asked him, looking around.
"I'm not quite sure." Meta Knight responded. "I grabbed the gun, and then… well, all of this." He said, his glance shifting upwards ever so slightly. "Well, I suppose it's over, but I assume the colony is still there, so we have to deal with that."
"Well, I still get to stay on the Halberd, right?" Ribbon asked.
"Did I say that?" Meta Knight said sarcastically. "Sure it wasn't somebody else?"
"Hilarious." Ribbon replied. "Alright, can we go now?"
"Sure, let me just ask Sword and Blade where the Halberd is."
He asked, them, and after a few miles of walking, the four made it to the parked ship, thankfully still in a good shape. It honestly didn't feel right to end so suddenly, end without any real resolution to the problems they were facing. A quick scan of the forest area showed that all the people seemingly vanished, and people simply don't vanish off the face of the earth.
Was this really just a game? A façade they were all taking part in, carefully orchestrated ad a story? Or was it something more? Something… important?
Meta Knight asked himself these questions as he sat back in a chair in his room, a cup of coffee by his side, and his feet kicked up. Everyone seemed to be doing something, and that was honestly a good thing. Meta Knight relaxed as he took a sip of the coffee at his side.
Then an alarm in his room rang.
Meta Knight walked over to pick it up, and was rather conflicted with what he saw. The location was on Popstar, yes, but it was from somebody odd…
Somebody named Madison.
Well, there was always time for more adventure, at least where Meta Knight stood. So getting the feeling that this urgent call wouldn't end in anything but utter disaster, Meta Knight picked up the call.
To be continued in…
2021
"You honestly expect me to believe that this was all because the fictional characters figured out you were writing a fanfiction?" they asked. "Why would the characters go against their programming, hmmmm?"
"I don't know." I replied. "They just did."
"Listen, based on investigations, and interviews with the company, there's no way this wasn't planned out beforehand." They replied. "As you're a moderate internet success story, it's probable you went against the guidelines to get… views as they call them."
"I didn't." I replied. "I honestly just wanted to see her, and then maybe have a bit of fun, y'know?"
"Listen, you do realize you may have indirectly caused the deaths of thousands, yes?" they asked, standing up and slamming their hands on the table. "We've essentially proved that what you just said, this entire Kirby: Skyfall story as you call it, it's false!"
"If you really believe that…" I said, turning around and looking at the strange steel walls behind me. "Go ahead, I've done all I can."
"You haven't done all you can, in fact there's a lot more you're going to have to do." They said, as they slammed down a manila folder on the table in front of me.
"What's this?" I asked.
"Well, considering the government isn't bothering to take this task, there's only one person who can." They said. "You don't really have a choice, you're a worker of the government for now, open the folder and I'll explain."
I opened the folder and there were multiple pictures that caught my fancy, though only three in number. There was one, a strange looking scepter with a star on the top, another what appeared to be an arcade machine, and the next… what looked to be various pieces of… a clock?
"It's honestly simple." They explained. "You need to find these artifacts, or at least find whoever's holding them, and bring them back to us."
"Sounds simple." I replied. "But-"
They seemed to know what I was saying, as they interrupted me rather rudely. "If you fail to complete your mission, or betray the government, we will find you, and you will be terminated."
It's honestly surreal what happened afterwards, a series of events that would eventually lead to the strangest moments of my life. But you're not here to hear my life story, I'm sure you honestly don't care. There are many chapters in the saga of obtaining these artifacts, so perhaps I'll spread them out across… somewhere.
They'll all be out there somewhere by the time you're reading this.
I hope you find them.
It should shed some light on what happened, and… if you're still confused, try to find the others.
As for me, well…
Ill be around.
To be continued, later in 2020…
(: Massive thumbs up to everyone who reviwed, you've been a huge help throughout all of this.
So ends the tree.
Now for the review:
In my humble opinion as my first long real fanfiction, it's just alright. Re-reading it, and really considering what I put down on paper, yes, it could be better obviously.
My favorite part was the humor and the chapter names, and I hope you enjoyed my odd sense of humor as well. My favorite chapter was chapter seven because…
I really like the number seven.
:p
Anyways, I want to hear your thoughts on this mediocre mess, and more importantly I'm not gonna stop writing Kirby fanfic. Kirby is a series I hold near and dear to my heart, Triple Deluxe being my introduction to the series, and Star Allies being my favorite game.
I honestly think without Kirby I would be a very different person, and a big part of that is this YouTube channel called Meteorz. His "What is Kirby Canon" videos helped me get into the larger Kirby franchise, and without him I'd probably be playing Mario or Zelda or something.
(Fun fact: I've NEVER played a 3d Zelda game)
But here's the outline for what's gonna be the future of my Kirby fics. I want to do differing genres so no two fanfic feel samey, so some of these might be a bit odd.
Here we go:
(Culmination story)
That's all I have planned, and honestly I love this fanfic. It taught me how I write, helped me learn my style, my sense of humor, and many other things that will actually help in school that don't involve 9,999,999 pages of a textbook.
So once again, as I leave this fanfiction forever, and focus on… horror, I'll leave you with these words.
THE END
(-I o I-)