The Worth of Ash

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead or any related title, character, plot, setting, etc. These rights are the sole property of Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore, AMC, and various publishers and distributors. I own only the original elements in this story, the writing and publishing of which earn me no money.

Chapter Nine

Collins went to dinner that night knowing that she was the proud new owner of a toolkit with a crank-powered flashlight, two boxes of granola bars, several travel-friendly outfits, and a brand new pair of hiking boots. Her bag was packed and she could carry it easily when she tested, even with the added weight of her purchases. She had showered and her toiletries were packed. She had even managed to keep three out of four Carson-issued aspirin tablets from when her palm was stitched, and they were safely stowed in a waterproof bag.

All that remained was to eat a good, warm meal and catch some sleep before she left the Sanctuary forever.

As it happened, Collins was in the cafeteria at the same time as Jason and Soph. They spent the meal laughing and chatting about the success of the couple's booth in the marketplace. When Collins rose to leave, they stood as well.

While they walked through the empty corridors outside of the cafeteria, away from prying eyes, Collins handed a carefully written note to Soph, signing to Jason that they should read it when they got a chance. Even as Jason translated for Soph, the older woman unfolded the note and scanned through it quickly. She passed it to Jason when she had finished.

Though Collins knew every part of the note - she had agonized over each sentence - she still fought back a wave of nerves. While she had only attempted to warn Soph and Jason about the precarious state of the Sanctuary's safety, it could technically be read as threatening. If reported to Negan, he would be hurt… not to mention think of Collins as a danger to what remained of his compound.

"Collins, we both know-" Soph slapped a hand over Jason's mouth, interrupting him mid-sentence.

"Sign language, Jason. You can never be too careful."

Jason nodded, heeding her warning and signed slowly to Collins: We both know the Sanctuary is dangerous. We've seen a few incidents in the marketplace and we've been thinking that it's time we took to the road again.

When are you going to leave? Collins asked.

Within the next few days. Jason smiled. We know you're leaving tonight.

Collins was aghast. How? Was I obvious?

Not really, he assured her. Soph and I watched you in the marketplace today. You've been here too long and you're in too good with Negan to be hoarding supplies for no reason. You're planning to leave and we think it's a good idea.

Both of you should come with me, Collins signed impulsively. I'm heading west. I'm going to find a farm and make it sustainable. I want to build a life again.

Jason patted her warmly on the shoulder. Thanks, Collins. Really. But it'll be almost impossible for three people to leave here unnoticed. Besides, we're trying to go south. Soph thinks that the dead won't last long in the heat. She wants to go toward Florida, maybe find a boat.

That sounds nice, Collins told him.

"I hope it will be," Soph answered aloud, laughing at Collins' surprised expression. "I can't do much more than fingerspell, but Jason's been teaching me how to understand a lot of the basics. Speaking of, tell her the rest and then we need to let this poor girl get some sleep."

Jason smiled. Soph wants me to tell you that, if your farm doesn't work out, you always have a floating home with us. Just make your way south and we'll figure out a way to put up some coded signs.

As long as you promise to find me and my farm if the boat ends up being a bad idea, Collins returned.

Also, because Soph can't let anyone get away with anything- Jason had to pause and rub the sting from the spot where Soph had elbowed him -she wanted me to tell you that we know you aren't deaf.

Collins thought about playing off their suspicions, but decided against it. Are you angry that I lied to you?

No, we both understand. You were traveling alone with the world how it is today. It took a while for us to figure it out, so you're a good actor, and it's obviously worked well for you. But if Negan found out, he would kill you. That's another reason we think you're smart to want to leave.

Collins glanced from Jason to Soph and back. They had figured out her secret so long ago and had done nothing but support her. Thank you both, she signed to them, putting as much emotion in the movements as she could.

Soph wrapped her into a hug that Jason joined after only a moment. "Be safe," Collins whispered, face hidden between the two.

"You, too," they both returned.

"Now, you'd better go to sleep," Soph said loudly, and Collins didn't have to turn to hear that people were starting to walk through the hallway. "Tomorrow's going to be a long day."

Collins nodded and, with a final smile, walked away from Soph and Jason for the last time.

It was just after midnight when Collins gathered her bag and crept from her sheet-walled room. Jason and Soph had surprised her yet again. Her footlocker had contained a set of Soph's waterproof boxes with straps sewn to them so that they could be held closed and slung over one's shoulder. Inside of the bigger boxes were two pairs of Jason's specialty pocket-studded pants.

She silently made her way to the garage. The door opened without a creak - as she knew it would, having carefully oiled the hinges when she had cleaned it last. This marked the end of her ability to feign ignorance. She may have gotten away with wandering the halls of the Sanctuary, but stepping into the garage after Negan's last warning? If she was caught, she would have to fight until she escaped or they killed her. Collins would die before she let someone iron her skin and she would choose a bullet over Lucille any day. She walked across the blue-tinted concrete floor without incident and out the side door, steeling herself for what could come.

Collins thought her heart would pound out of her chest as she crossed the few hundred feet of open lawn between the garage and the area containing both the greenhouse and the farm building. Thankfully, the guards were centered on the main gate on the opposite side of the complex, and her trip was unobserved.

As she passed through the greenhouse, she grabbed every ripe fruit and vegetable she could find. She ended up with a few zucchini, some bell peppers and tomatoes, a solid number of strawberries, and as many peaches as she could pull from the small tree at one end of the building.

With a significantly heavier bag, Collins made her way to the farm building with the general intention of taking a few eggs. She knew they were likely to spoil before she could get far enough away from the Sanctuary to cook them without fear of discovery, but she couldn't fight the idea of being well-prepared for the trip. As she stepped into the building, a different idea struck her.

She filled one of the smaller boxes and one pants pocket with chicken feed, then scooped five of the chicks into the largest box she had. The chicks were just beginning to lose their down and would be mature in only a few weeks - old enough to take care of themselves for the most part and not require an external heat source. They would be a valuable start to Collins's farm and she could only hope she had managed to choose at least one male among the female majority.

With her new treasures held carefully in the box - lid cracked open slightly - Collins left the farm building and slipped around the back of it. She was at the corner of the Sanctuary's fence system now, one of the few places lined with chain-link rather than towering walls made of concrete.

The single guard patrolling this side of the complex took only moments to scan the forest and what he could see of the Sanctuary before turning on his heel and ambling back along the wall in the direction of the main gate once more. Undetected, Collins was free to continue her escape.

The issue with chain-link was that, no matter how high the fencing stood, there would always be an unsecured edge where the chain-link met the concrete fence. The Saviors had used a length of bungee cord to lash the fence to a pole against the concrete, but it was a simple process to untie the cord and unwind it from the bottom few feet of fence until she could squeeze through.

Because Collins believed in covering her tracks as much as possible and saw no need to allow the dead inside the Sanctuary, she re-tied the cord behind her before she slipped into the woods.

With the help of her crank-powered flashlight, Collins made her way back to the place where she and the artisans had been captured by the Saviors. As an added bonus, she had found an old dog crate in the woods and the chickens got a new home. From there, it was a short walk to the place where she had shallowly buried her belongings.

The small pack had been placed in the largest watertight bag Collins had ever come across, and everything was undamaged. She checked that her pistol was still intact - it was - and that everything was still good. As she was going through her food supply and throwing away anything that appeared to be spoiled beyond salvaging, Collins heard the sound of a vehicle approaching.

She ducked behind a tree, the best cover she could find on such short notice, and stayed on the opposite side of where the headlights were shining.

"Collins!"

Her heart beat even faster. Was that Negan's voice?

"Collins, if you can read my lips, the Sanctuary has fallen! I left, and we need to get out of here, fast."

Using every bit of brain power she had in her adrenaline-racing mind, Collins weighed her options. If the Saviors were going to come after Negan, they would follow the tracks left by his truck. From there, they would need only the slightest bit of luck to find Collins. But, if she got in the truck with Negan, she could hitch a ride further west, ditch him somewhere, and find a car of her own.

Getting in a vehicle with Negan seemed like a bad idea, but Collins had several advantages over him: she could hear, he didn't know she could hear, and she was well-armed.

Coming to that realization, Collins stepped around the tree, the loaded pistol in an exterior pocket of her bag. Negan spotted her within moments, beckoning her over to his truck in hurried motions.

Collins wedged herself, the chickens, and all of her belongings in the front seat, not knowing how quickly she would have to bail out of the truck. As an added bonus, she managed to push Lucille over and roll the bat under her feet. Now, any weapons Negan was carrying were tucked away, out of easy reach.

When she was all settled, Collins sent a firm nod to Negan, who raised an eyebrow even as he put the truck in gear. "Did you steal my chickens?"

She gave him the a little gesture with her forefinger and thumb and he laughed. "I saw you leave the farm building, but I didn't notice you carrying all that much." Collins cocked her head, clearly shocked, but he only laughed harder. "My bedroom windows look out over the back of the Sanctuary, remember? I happened to be at my window when you left the greenhouse. I assume you got some good shit?"

Collins nodded, wishing fervently that he would keep his eyes on their path. There were no roads this deep in the forest, and they were driving along a bumpy path that could well have been made by forest animals or the dead.

"I saw you leaving and thought, 'What the hell? I might as well leave, too.' So I packed up my stuff, some cans of food and a couple gallons of water, and told my wives to scram while they still could. They're going to be the first ones those dickwads come for when they realize I'm gone. Rather than deal with the mutiny, I figured I would just leave."

Negan's chatter was oddly soothing, but Collins couldn't allow herself to focus on it. Instead, she was absorbed in trying to figure out where they were. When they were close to a main road, she would have to find a way to get out of the truck. Negan would have been a good ally to start her new, sustainable life, but he was too dangerous. When he found out about Collins' secret, he was likely to react with violence. She had no choice but to leave him behind.

"Anyway, the Sanctuary's done for. There are some other groups around who are none too happy that the Saviors have been stealing half of their shit for so long. I want to go somewhere new, start over. This time, I want to be independent. I don't want to steal other people's stuff. Too much hassle. I want everyone invested in the future of the group, not fighting over who gets what." Negan cast a sidelong glance at Collins. "I could use a hard-working, wicked smart second-in-command to keep me above board. What do you think? I want to go wherever you're going. Want to start something new with me?"

Without a good answer, Collins only shrugged and Negan cheerfully patted her knee. "That's okay, think about it. We're about to hit the highway and we'll make good time from there."

There it was, the cue she had been dreading. It was time to put her most dangerous plan into place.

Author's Note - I know the action in this chapter seems a little abrupt, but I don't like drawing things out more than necessary. If you want proof of that, remember that there's only one more chapter left in this story!

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