"Where is he?" JJ demanded, as she ran into the waiting room so fast it seemed her feet barely touched the ground. Her blue eyes were filled with tears and Derek stood up quickly, worried she'd tumble to the ground.

"JJ," Emily started, then broke off, giving her friend a sympathetic look. Her gaze met Derek's briefly, then focused back on JJ, who was becoming more hysterical with every passing moment.

"Where is he?" JJ asked shrilly as her panic took over. The entire time since she'd received the phone call, she'd had to remain calm, for her kids. Now that she didn't have to act strong for them, the tears began to flow freely down JJ's face. She had known something was wrong. She had felt it. How was she to keep acting like everything was okay? Nothing was okay.

"JJ," Emily began again, trying to calm down her shaken friend.

Groaning loudly, JJ felt overcome with frustration as she pushed carelessly past Emily. She ran right into Derek.

He caught sight of Emily's face and realized there was no point in trying to hide things from JJ.

"Hotch is in surgery right now, JJ," Derek said, trying to sound soothing.

"How bad is it?" she demanded, "And don't you sugar coat it. Professional to professional."

"This isn't a professional thing. It's personal and-" Derek stopped, seeing a look in her face, that made him realize there there was no point arguing with her, "It's bad. JJ, they don't know if he's going to make it."

She'd known it in her head, by the way people were acting, but hearing it in his words made it more real. JJ lost all the strength in her legs and just collapsed. Luckily, Derek and Emily were able to catch her, but she didn't even notice. The tears came pouring out of her, and all she could think about was wondering how she was going to tell the kids.

Without thinking, she pushed out of the grip of her friends and forced herself past Reid like he wasn't even there, not catching the hurt look on his face as he'd come over to hug her. Somehow, JJ made it into a chair. She had to see Aaron. She had to.

The minutes dragged on, creating the illusion that time was almost standing still. These slow minutes soon turned into hours. Hotch's condition didn't seem change. He was still unconscious, or that was what the doctors told her anyways. They told her he could wake up any time but each hour that went by, the chances of this happening decreased. Still, she refused to give up hope. She didn't go home. She stayed by his side. Penelope helped JJ incredibly by watching Jack, Henry and Sam for her. The team took turns staying with her.

She'd tried to ask Reid for more specifics about the condition. He claimed to not know. He was a terrible liar. It was obvious to her that there was something he didn't want her to know.

"Are you having doubts?" the voice had asked her.

JJ spun around to hear Aaron at the door. "Don't you open that door!" she demanded, as she noticed the knob moving.

"Do you really believe that it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?" Aaron asked through the door. She heard the amusement in his tone.

"Ouch," JJ mumbled as Emily tugged the brush through her hair, "No, but it can't hurt to be safe, right?" she said with a smile, "And no, no doubts. Not a single one."

"Me neither," he said softly, "I'll see you at the altar."

Stifling a laugh, JJ grinned. They weren't getting married at an altar, but she'd bite. "I'll see you there," she answered.

"Not even one tiny little doubt?" Garcia asked in amazement, thinking of her own reluctance to marry, as she dabbed a bit more blush onto JJ's cheek.

"Not a single, solitary, tiny, itty bitty little doubt," JJ said happily, her eyes already watering with emotion, "This is where we're meant to be."

She didn't have doubts then, and she most certainly did not have them now. He'd pull through. He had to. For her, for him, for the team, and most especially, for their kids. What would her life be without him?

Two long, cold nights passed in a blur. Once again, like she'd done so many times in the past couple days, she walked into Hotch's room with her coffee in hand. This time, she was so startled that the coffee nearly tumbled out of her hand to spill on the floor. He was awake.

"Hotch!" she exclaimed running over beside the bed. She reached over to take his hand and he allowed this briefly before pulling back.

"JJ," he said forcing a tired smile, "Thank you for being here."

She nodded, "Of course, any time," she answered. Relief swelled in her at his recovery, but if she had allowed the profiler in her to take over, she'd have realized how strange his actions and words were compared to what they should have been.

"I don't mean to sound like I'm not being grateful, because I am, but do you know when Haley and Jack will be by?"

"Haley?" JJ choked out in shock. She understood him asking for Jack, but couldn't yet grasp why he hadn't mentioned Henry or Samantha.

"I assume she's been worried about me, too," Hotch said, not picking up on her tone, "Has anyone told her I'm awake?"

JJ felt sudden tears spring to her eyes. She felt an overwhelming rush of emotions. Aaron thought Haley was still alive. She felt sympathy for him, knowing the pain he'd soon be in. But did this mean he forgot her? What they had built? Their family? Her head swirled back to an earlier time, back to their first day of marriage. And it filled her with confusion and heartbreak. How could he forget everything? How could he forget their life together? Was this real? Did he not love her any more?

"I'll always love you," he said kissing her forehead.

"Promise?" JJ said, allowing a childlike plea to enter her voice.

"I promise."

"I'll be back," JJ said to Hotch, forcing a quick smile before darting out of the room. She went into the bathroom and as soon as the door closed, she collapsed onto the floor. What was going on? Tears came again, tears that seemed like they would never end.

"JJ," said a voice behind her.

She looked over her shoulder to see Dr. Spencer Reid, as she stepped quietly out into the hall from the bathroom.

"I didn't know how to tell you," he said softly, "I'm sorry."

"What is going on? He thinks Haley's alive," JJ said, her tone dull, and full of disbelief.

"I know," The young profiler replied. He stopped himself from going into a detailed explanation of the medical condition, and tried to simplify it for her, "He's lost years worth of memory."

"We have a child together," JJ said stiffly. JJ felt emotionally drained and overwhelmed.

"I know," Reid answered.

"Is this permanent?" JJ asked. She realized that should have been the first question she asked. With everything else, it was just too much. She was scared to hear the answer.

"There's no way of knowing that. I'm sorry," Reid told her, feeling useless. There was little he could do to comfort or help his friend.

"Who's going to tell him?" JJ asked. Before Spencer could answer, she turned and strode back into the small, cold hospital room. She was barely aware of Reid calling after her.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked her as she entered.

She recognized the tone. Aaron did care for her well being, but he wasn't in love with her.

Taking a deep breath, she forced a smile, and sat in the chair beside him, "I'm fine," she replied coolly, knowing it was as far from the truth as it could be.

"Did you go to find Haley and Jack?" he asked hopefully.

"Hotch," JJ started quietly, then paused. She reached out to grab his hand instinctively, but caught herself in time. Her chest felt tight, and tears formed in her eyes.

"What's wrong? Are they okay? Were they in the car?" His words were coming out so quickly she had a hard time understanding him.

"Jack's okay, but Haley..."

The emotions played out over his face. Relief. His son was okay, and then his face crumbled. He reached up with his hand to cover his mouth. He so desperately wanted to believe that Jennifer Jareau was the type to lie about this sort of thing, but she wasn't. And if she said it was true...

"Hotch. I'm so sor-" JJ began.

"I need to be alone right now," Aaron stated abruptly, cutting her off.

The words sounded so lifeless. And though she knew this wasn't about her, it felt like a punch to the gut.

JJ didn't say anything. She turned to leave, and walked quickly into the hallway, feeling tears spilling down her cheeks.

"My husband doesn't know who I am," JJ stated numbly, the words slipping out between breaths, "He's still in love with his dead ex wife who left him, and I..." she trailed off. Emily didn't say anything, she just held her friend. There was nothing Emily could think of to say that would help. Not really.

"Why didn't the doctors tell him before I saw him?" JJ asked, "Why did I think it was a good idea to be the one to tell him?" The fact was, she knew the answer to the second question. They hoped, as she did, that if she was the one to tell him, he'd remember everything. "And he still doesn't know I'm his wife."

Emily exchanged a look with Garcia. They stood uncomfortably with JJ in the hospital waiting area. This was such a difficult situation, and neither knew exactly what to do. The rest of the team had gone home to get rest, and they'd promised to stay to be there for JJ.

"Will called. Henry wants to see Aaron. And so do Samantha and Jack, of course," JJ told them, her sadness audible, "And Haley's sister wants to bring them by." Samantha. How did you tell a kid that their dad didn't know who they were? "Of course I had to tell them he wasn't ready to be seen."

"JJ, just take a few deep breaths," Garcia suggested, rubbing her friends back comfortingly.

"Jennifer?"

She looked up to see one of Hotch's doctors standing in front of them.

"He's asking for you," said the doctor.

Sniffling, she tried to compose herself. She lifted her sleeve to wipe the tears off her face.

"How do I look?" she asked her friends, biting her bottom lip to try and prevent new tears from falling.

"Beautiful," Emily told her reassuringly.

"Absolutely stunning," came Garcia's response.

JJ knew she looked like crap, bags under her bloodshot eyes, pale complexion, but it was still comforting to hear.

As she entered the room, she found herself unable to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he started off, "about earlier."

"You just found out someone you loved died. It's understandable." She finally looked at him, and his eyes mirrored hers. He looked tired, sad, and broken.

"I just spoke to one of the doctors," he started off, "And he filled me in on a few things. So you're... I mean we're..."

"Married," JJ said casually. She wasn't sure why, but she nearly laughed.

"We're married," Hotch said, and the shock on his face was heart breaking for JJ, "And me and Haley..."

"Split up," JJ finished, now taking a seat in the chair.

"And now she's..."

JJ didn't finish the sentence this time.

"This is all so surreal," he said quietly. "I don't know what I'm feeling."

"I understand," JJ mumbled.

As saddening as it was for her, she did understand. She couldn't imagine being where he was. And it just made her admire his strength all the more. As defeated as he was, he was still trying to put it all together. He'd found out the love of his life was dead just over two hours ago. And here he was, apologizing to her for needing time alone, and trying to piece his life together.

"Where's Jack?"

"He's with Haley's sister," JJ answered him, "and Samantha."

The confusion on his face caused her chin to tremble, and she had to turn her head away. It took her a couple moments to look back at him, and despite all the things he wanted to know, he was patient. "Samantha is our daughter," JJ told him.

"We have a daughter." Hotch shook his head as if it was some dream he could wake up from. But a couple seconds later, he smiled as he said, "I always wanted a girl, too."

"She's seven," JJ told him.

"What about Will?"

"That's a long story probably best left for another time."

Hotch nodded and replied, "You're probably right."

There were so many things she wanted to ask him. Where did they go from here? What did they tell their kids? Obviously not the truth, but this was the question she was most scared to hear the answer to. Was he willing to try and make this work between them?