EKK I did not mean for this to wait for so long. Well here's chapter 3! I kinda wanted to break up the huge stream of Windfall so I wrote up the rest of this chapter. Sorry for the wait y'all hope you're having a lovely day!
Chapter Three: Opening Day
Crocker was sleeping like a baby (an ugly, insectoid baby, but a baby nonetheless) in his cozy new bed, dreaming happily about days gone by. This was the best sleep he'd had in years - his old, flat-as-a-pancake mattress never offered him anything near the rest he was getting now.
Then a sharp, excited knocking pounded on his bedroom door, shocking him out of his dreams.
"Huh wha?!" he said, panicked, before realizing it was just the door. Taking a few breaths to calm down, he got out of bed and answered the door. It was Charlie, and she was still knocking the air for a few seconds after Crocker opened the door.
"Oh!" she said, seeing the expression on her new hire's face. "I'm so sorry, Crocker! I didn't mean to startle you!"
"I do, though," Alastor, the frigging Radio Demon himself, said as he materialized in a red cloud of dread and agony from behind Crocker who jumped in fear and let out a yelp.
Crocker would've said "Get outta my room you bloody turd" but this was Alastor so he kept his mandibles shut, yikes. Instead he just said, as politely as possible, "You are in my room, Alastor, and I did not invite you. Please, leave."
"What if I don't?" Alastor pressed, keeping up that garish smile and tilting Crocker's head with his microphone (he carries it everywhere I don't understand?), even though Crocker was like two feet taller than him.
"C'mon, Al," Charlie said nicely but with undertones of fear, "I need you downstairs to greet people, remember?"
Alastor's head snapped in her direction with a sickening crack, and his smile was clearly forced. "Oh. Right. My apologies, my dear. Let me go take care of our guests."
He unmicrophoned Crocker and pushed past Charlie in the doorway, before stomping through the hall and downstairs. Honestly, it could've been worse - he could've known what a Walmart greeter was. Then he would've really been pissed with his task.
"Oh, no," Crocker said, smacking his forehead. "Today's opening day, right? Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep in."
"That's quite alright!" Charlie said, back to her usual cheerfulness. "You were obviously exhausted. Considering what Angel Dust said about your life, it doesn't surprise me."
He rubbed the back of his carapace. "Yeah..."
"Well, I'm glad you could get a good night's... and most of the morning's... sleep! You'll need it for today!"
"I'll head right into the kitchen?" Crocker asked, nodding his head in the direction of the stairs.
"Yep! Vaggie's in there now - she took over for breakfast."
"I'll get down there right now - and I'm so sorry again for oversleeping."
"Think nothing of it! See you downstairs!"
Watching her skip away down the hall, Crocker couldn't help but smile. It had been a long time since he'd been around someone so nice. And for her to be his boss - that was even better, but it also made him want to be more diligent at his job. After washing his face, using the bathroom and putting on a fancy red bowtie and little black bowler hat for the occasion, Crocker went downstairs for his first day on the job.
As we stepped down the stairs, he saw a handful of demons walking around the lobby. All of them puked upon seeing him, but he expected that. Leaving them and approaching the doors to the dining room, he became aware of a quiet murmuring sound, but was kept from investigating it when Angel collapsed at his feet, arms full of luggage.
"Angel! What happened to you?" Crocker asked, helping his friend to his feet.
"The girls've got me on bellboy duty!" Angel said, sounding appalled. "They say it's because I've got a buttload of arms and everything, so it's an easy job for me - but this dainty figure just ain't made for haulin' junk up and down stairs!"
"Don't we have an elevator?" asked Crocker.
"Yeah, but the thing's busted. Remember, they bought this place as a fixer-upper. There's all sorts of things wrong with it."
A demon couple overheard this, and made for the front door. Angel saw them and said, "Whoopsie."
"That's quite a lot of bags," Crocker said, gaining his friend's attention and pointing to the duffles and suitcases hanging all over him, like he was a pink and white Christmas tree. "I only see a few people in here."
"Oh, the rest are in there," Angel said, nodding to the dining room doors. "We've got a full house. On that note, I'll leave you to your job."
The spider demon started carrying his haul up the stairs, and Crocker watched him for a moment before approaching the dining room. The murmuring was louder now. When he opened the doors, he froze in shock.
The dining room was full of demons, of all shapes and sizes and colors. They were all talking and merry-making, shootin' the shit. Most of them were preoccupied with themselves so only a couple got sick at the sight of Crocker, but that kind of made it more difficult to get past them and into the kitchen.
"'Scuse me, coming through, pardon me, madame," he said, nervous, trying to get through the crowd. He could make out Charlie's wavy blonde hair on the opposite side of the room, she seemed to be talking to someone who was too short for Crocker to see. He figured it was probably Niffty.
Squeezing into the kitchen, Crocker didn't have time to recollect himself after the madhouse he just trudged through, because Vaggie turned her head to look at him from the stove, a crazed look in her eye and a mini toque on her head. "What took you so long?!" she barked.
"I'm so sorry, Vaggie," Crocker said, rushing to put on an apron. "I overslept. Are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" she said, and when Crocker stood next to her he saw she was trembling. "I'm not trained for this! Earlier, it was fine, pancakes and omelets for like, five demons. Then the floodgates opened and I've been cooking like crazy!"
Taking a look at the burned sausages in the pan she was tending, Crocker said, "Hang up your toque, Vaggie. I've got this."
Stepping back, Vaggie watched as Crocker took one brief look at the line of orders hanging over the counter, and started whipping up omelets, pancakes, crepes, frattatas, and other breakfastery in the blink of an eye. Her jaw dropped as he threw an egg in the air, sifted flour, baking powder, and salt together in a bowl, then stuck a spoon in the middle, on which the egg landed and cracked, the shell splitting off onto the counter and the yolk and whites landing neatly in the bowl. He stirred up the batter with one hand while the other three added sugar, vanilla, and blueberries. He dropped the batter in unbelievingly-equal portions across the griddle, using half his arms to work on more omelets while the other two flipped the pancakes, and when they were ready, threw them onto the waiting plates. He then topped them with sprigs of mint.
"Alright, six orders of pancakes, ready to go. Who takes them out?" he asked, holding the plates up as he turned to Vaggie. "Uh... Vaggie?"
The moth demon was awestruck as she stared at her new cook. "... holy fuck, Angel was right for once."
The two demons brought the food into the dining room, where, as Crocker worked his way to the various hungry tables, he finally got a look at who Charlie was speaking to. It wasn't Niffty, but an imp sitting at the grand piano. They were going over music, it seemed, as the princess was running her finger along the sheet music on the piano. The imp nodded and said something, then Charlie smiled and nodded her head before walking up to the microphone and tapping it. Everyone in the room screamed and covered their ears, except Crocker, since he didn't want to drop the food.
"Uh, heh heh, sorry, everyone," Charlie said, blushing, before continuing. "Anyway, I'd like to thank you all for coming in for rehabilitation at the Happy Hotel! It warms my heart to see so many people interested in redemption!"
"Take off your top!" shouted someone in the crowd. Vaggie got mad, but couldn't see who said it.
Despite several demons snickering, Charlie cleared her throat and continued. "M-Moving on, to celebrate the opening of the hotel, and the beginning of the wondrous journey you're all setting out on, we have today Hell's very own Moxxie, musician extraordinaire!"
She gestured to the imp, who, despite his red skin, showed a bit of blush at her words. "Uh... thank you for having me."
Very few demons clapped. Unfortunately, imps were looked down upon in Hell's society. Despite everyone being a sinner down here (except maybe Charlie?) there was still something of a pecking order and the imps were considered lower than trailer trash (by the way, there's nothing wrong with living in a trailer. I don't think there is anyway. But there are some weirdos out there who call people trash for living in trailers... privileged bastards) and generally treated poorly by the regular demons. Crocker always felt for them, though, since because of his face most demons treated him pretty much like an imp, so he clapped for Moxxie as well.
"Moxxie, could you please begin our special number?" asked Charlie.
"Coming right up," he said, and took a deep breath... hit one note, and let out a loud, horrific scream.
Everyone in the room froze and stared at him. He struck another note, then gave another scream. He was about to strike a third note when Charlie said quickly, "No, not that page! The next one!"
"Oh, whoops! Sorry!" Moxxie said, and turned the page, must've flipped by accident at some point hm... but Charlie had gone over the music with him, how could he have messed up?
"Hah hah!" laughed one big, hulking demon who Vaggie was serving strawberry crepes. "Idiotic imp! Only fool would work with one!"
The whole room erupted into laughter, causing Moxxie to nearly crush the sheet music in his fists, but it was Crocker who spoke up.
"What are you laughing at him for?! He didn't ask to be an imp - and there's nothing wrong with the imps, anyway! You've all just got an inflated sense of self-importance!" he shouted, louder than he meant but he'd been under a lot of stress...
... well the entire room heard, and stared at him. Then everyone threw up.
"You have someone who looks like that working in your kitchen?!" shrieked one demon woman.
"I ain't stayin' here if there's a literal roach servin' food!" said one gravelly-voiced caveman-esque demon.
They started to get up to leave, when Vaggie spoke up. "Hey, you know that food you were just enjoying? He was the one who cooked it!"
"Vaggie, why," Crocker asked, hiding his face in his hands.
"... he was?" asked one demon, who still had a strip of bacon hanging out of his mouth.
"Yeah!" Vaggie said, crossing her arms. "So you wanna just walk away and throw your chance at redemption out the window, that's fine by me, but know that it was all over the fact that you can't help judging a book by its cover, you shallow assholes!"
The guests all thought about it for a moment, and some still left, but the majority walked back to their tables.
"Hey, Coach Roach, can I get another stack of them blueberry pancakes?" one pterodactyl demon asked.
"Sure thing," Crocker said smiling, and scuttled back into the kitchen.
"Phew," Charlie said, wiping her brow for a moment before straightening and smiling to the crowd again. "Now, where were we? Oh, right - hit it, Moxxie!"
The little red imp began belting out a ragtime tune on the piano, while Charlie began dancing on the small, circular stage. "I know you're all feeling a little overwhelmed right now - so I wrote this song to help you realize that you can do anything you set your mind and heart to!" she said, before beginning her song.
One day you're walking on the soft green grass
The next day you're in Hell 'cause you were an ass
You might feel like there's nothing, you've run out of luck
But you can do this, your soul's not tits up
Death is like a pizza pie
Even if it's not what you wanted, you can make it delicious, dry your eyes
Death is like a box of donuts
Sweet wonders await, you just don't know what
Vaggie and Charlie and Husk and Niffty
Are here to help you get your soul spiffy
And let's not forget Alastor and Crocker too
They're here to help you, you, and you!
"C'mon, Vaggie! Join me for the finale!" Charlie called across the crowd.
"Please, no," her girlfriend begged, shrinking and hoping to disappear.
"Please?" Charlie begged, giving those puppy-dog eyes.
"Ugh," Vaggie sighed, and got up on stage. She swung her arms around, not daring to actually break into dance.
Death is like a delicious meat sandwich
There are many kinds, but you're not sure which is which
Death is like a bowl of pudding
Slimy and messy, but you do your thing!
Oh, and don't worry if you hear screaming in the middle of the night
It's just Angel Dust on a bad trip
So if you believe you can achieve your dreams
Stay with us, you'll see what we mean!
The girls finished, Charlie in a grand display of jazz hands, and Vaggie just looking like she wanted to die all over again. But the crowd cheered and whistled, and Charlie bowed to her beloved guests while her girlfriend smiled and admired her positivity.
Crocker clapped, feeling quite flattered that Charlie had included him in her song, despite him only just arriving. He guessed he really was part of the family now, something he really appreciated.
Meanwhile, just out of sight, Alastor was watching the scene, an uncharacteristic scowl on his face. No one knew what had upset him this time, and neither did they know that things were only going to get worse in this hotel.