To any who are frustrated with how this chapter ends, just wait for the next one. It will be worth it, I promise.
Andromeda had never felt comfortable in her common room, but after the events of Saturday, she no longer felt like a stranger there. She felt like an outcast. An exile. Conversations stopped when she entered the room, and all eyes swiveled on her. If eyes had daggers, she would have bled out already. Of course, she wanted nothing more than too avoid the common room, because she knew sooner or later she would find her, and she would rather that encounter not be public.
We often don't get what we want.
"Andromeda Black!" Her screech echoed through the entryway before she'd even had time to open the door. By the time she'd flung it open and stepped inside, all eyes were swiveled on Andromeda once again, giving her a clear view of her prodigal sister.
Andromeda scarcely had time to breathe before Bellatrix screeched, "Outside! Now!" Bellatrix usually had a dangerous air about her, but today she looked positively feral. Her usually glossy black hair was wild and unkept, falling in strands around her face. She was breathing so hard her chest seemed to swell to twice its normal size. Her eyes were like snake slits and her jaw was clenched so tight it looked like it might break.
Delaying her would only make it worse, so Andromeda scurried forward, willing herself not to trip with all these eyes on her. It was embarrassing enough already. Of course, once Bella was done with her she may not have to worry about trivial things such as embarrassment anymore.
The last time her sister had wanted to speak with she'd led her to an empty classroom, but there was no time for that now. As the door swung shut behind them she pinned Andromeda and snarled, "You bloody traitor! I ought to rip you limn from limb!"
Andromeda needed to choose her next words carefully, as her sister looked quite capable of doing just that.
"I'm sorry!" she choked she could barely breathe with all the weight her sister was putting on her neck.
"Your apologies mean nothing! Not anymore!" She could have sworn her sister's black eyes flashed like flame as she screeched. She was like a fiery demoness, beautiful, but terrible.
She should be afraid, and her body was shaking like she was, but her voice was surprisingly steady as she said, "But apologies are all I have."
Bellatrix paused. Andromeda wasn't sure she expected, but it clearly wasn't that, a moment though her flame returned as she bellowed, "How could you do this to your family! Do you have any idea the shame this has brought us? Rumors are already spreading."
She could only imagine— knowing the gossiping culture of Hogwarts she was sure there were already wild versions where she pulled her wand on each of her housemates and turned them into toads.
"Hurting our family was not my intention," she heaved. She was still waiting for the panic, but it wasn't coming. Perhaps it was because she had been anticipating her sister's onslaught. It was terrible, but not shocking.
Bellatrix stared at her intently. Her confusion over Andromeda's response causing her to momentarily forget her furious rage. "Then what was?"
Andromeda took a deep breath. "I'm tired of all the violence."
Bella's eyes went wide and her grip on Andromeda loosened. "The what?"
She took another breath, then, "I'm not like you. I don't revel in the sufferings of others."
It felt so weird, to speak the truth to her sister for once. She couldn't remember the last time she had done so.
"You think I do this for me!" Bella was shrieking again, but it wasn't the same as before. She no longer sounded vengeful, she sounded defensive. "I do this for our kind! We must stand against their kind before they run us out!"
"I can't do it." Andromeda didn't hesitate this time. The words just came rushing out. "I can't stand by and watch it anymore."
For a moment, Bella stared at her. There was something in her eye, Andromeda couldn't figure out what it was, but when she spoke to her she leaned back, so she was no longer looking down on her. "Then you are weak."
Andromeda hung her head, but not in shame. In acceptance. Bella seemed to accept it too. There was nothing left to say to each other, what was done was done.
"What are you going to do?" Andromeda asked, though she dreaded the answer.
"I'm going to tell mother and father. Better they hear it from my lips. It gives them time to prepare their response to the Lestranges. Assuming they will still allow you to marry their son at all."
Andromeda winced. She'd been so concerned about her own family's response, she hadn't even considered Rabastan's. But Bella was right. Rabastan's parents would get word of this somehow, and what then? Would they really call off the engagement?
And Rabastan? What would he think of her actions? He'd gotten after her for the things she'd said to him private. Would he understand her choices now, or would he push her away?
"You are a disgrace, Andromeda Black," Bellatrix Black said. Andromeda had been so caught up in her thoughts, she'd almost forgotten her sister was there. She should have known her sister wasn't done with the insults. "I wish you had never been born."
And Andromeda could tell she meant it. It was like her worst nightmare coming true, but still, she couldn't bring herself to speak. Last time she had begged for forgiveness, but this time all she could do was sit in stony silence and pray that she didn't break down. Bella would see such a violent display of remorse as weakness.
Though it wasn't like Bella's opinion of her could sink much lower.
"Get out of my sight," Bella snarled in disgust. Andromeda turned to go, then glanced back at her sister. Her sister's eyes were cold, and angry, and hateful. It was a look her sister reserved only for her worst on enemies, and now Andromeda was on that list.
There had a been rift between her and Bella sometime, but it was clear from her look that their bond had been severed entirely, at least from her sister's point of view.
As she left, she choked back a sob, but she couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks.
It wasn't much later that Rabastan found her, sitting in a windowsill on the third floor. Neither of them said anything for a moment; they didn't know what to say. They just stood there, the space and silence between them tangible. The tension soon became more than Andromeda could take.
"Who told you?" she croaked. There was no need to beat around the bush, best to just get it over with.
"Rodolphus," he said quietly, "though I heard it from others."
She held back a chuckle. It was likely the others had told more embellished tales than the one he got from Rodolphus, though what Rodolphus had to say would have been bad enough.
"Do your parents know?" she asked.
"Yes," he said tightly.
"And?" she prompted, her throat dry.
"And their desire for your family's wealth and power is allowing them to overlook any shortcomings in my future bride, assuming I am willing to take all the necessary measure to ensure my future wife stays in check and doesn't fill our children's head with any of her crazy notions."
Andromeda looked up at him then, her eyes wide. She could sense the bitterness in his voice, but that didn't change the words he'd said. "And did you agree to that?"
He looked down for a second, but when he looked back up, his voice was firm. "It was the only way they'd allow me to still marry you."
She raised an eyebrow. So, he still wanted to marry her. That was something, she supposed.
"And how exactly do you plan to keep me in check?" She hadn't meant to sound so bitter herself, and it was clear from Rabastan's look he hadn't expected it either.
He sighed, but didn't answer her question. "Why did you do it, Andromeda?"
"I saw someone in need and I decided to help her," She wasn't sure where this sudden honesty was coming from. It was like something in her had broke and it was all just spilling out. "I didn't really think about who she was."
"This isn't a time to be a hero, Andromeda, dark times are coming."
She glanced up at him, eyes wide. His voice was still quiet, but there was a hard edge, and his eyes were dark with worry. She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't.
It was her turn to sigh. "Don't you ever get tired?"
"Tired of what?"
"Doing nothing. Pretending you don't care. Pretending it doesn't sicken you."
He stared at her. Like Bellatrix, he was completely thrown off by her answers, but when she didn't modify them, he sighed in frustration and ran his hand through his hair. "I can't allow myself."
"And I can't stop myself," she said dryly.
"This is the world we live in, Andromeda." The whole conversation he'd been keeping his distance, but now he moved closer to her. "There's no point in trying to change it."
She shook her head. "I'm not trying to change it."
"Then what are you doing?" he said, exasperated.
She paused, finding that this time she wasn't sure of the answer. All her life she'd only wanted one thing, to please her parents, she'd never thought of her purpose beyond that. But why was she doing this? It wasn't to find happiness, as she'd been far happier before she'd gone down this path. What was it?
"I'm trying to find peace," she finally said, "for myself."
Rabastan looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time in their entire conversation. That wasn't something they talked about, peace. They talked about pride, honor, greatness, but never peace. And she could see that he wanted too, he wanted to talk about this elusive peace.
But then he shook his head again. "The risks are too great. Maybe in another place, another time. But not here. You can't risk yourself for them. It will destroy you, one way or another."
He was right, of course he was right. That was not a part of their life and it never could be. But she didn't care.
"Andromeda," Rabastan moved so that he was standing next to her. "Promise me you'll be careful from now on. You won't interfere."
There was no mistaking the emotion in his eyes, it was fear. Fear for her, for them, their future.
Her breath caught. She'd known Rabastan cared for her, but this felt like something more.
But she was so tired of lying.
"I can't," she breathed.
He grabbed her hands. "You have too. It's the only way I can keep you safe."
The darkness returned to his eyes, and her own widened. "What are you talking about?"
He shook his head. "Just promise me."
She could see how much this hurt him, and she wanted to ease his pain. But he was asking for something she could not give.
He pulled her hands to his chest. "If you care about me at all then you will make this promise. Andromeda, please."
She could feel his heartbeat under her hands, wild and erratic like her own. It that moment she knew that she did. She cared for him. She might even love him.
"Alright," she croaked, though she felt like she was breaking even as she said it, "I promise."