I OWN NOTHING
My love for Skullgirls and Keanu Reeves compelled me to do the one big movie genre missing: western films. Nah, you read the title. Happy birthday, Keanu, and thanks for the effort and passion you put in your movies.
-DATA-
Name: Quickdraw.
Real name: Constantine Johnson.
Age: 17
Symbol: a chess knight.
Likes: Guitar solos, his bandmates Bill and Ted, his guitar Keanu, making his fans happy, dogs, cats, writing songs, surf, action movies, air guitar solos, Italian food.
Dislikes: Disappointing his fans, Dagonian discrimination, animals getting hurt, being unable to help those who need a hand, having to fight others, people who don't make their own music.
Appearance: 6'1" Caucasian teen with chin-length black hair and a lean face. Wears a brown poncho with cactus-shaped green musical notes on it, a white cowboy hat with a horseshoe on its forehead, black slacks, a black tank top and black boots with spurs. His acoustic guitar's neck doubles as the long barrel of a machine gun and the body has a spur-shaped buzz-saw.
Backstory: Lead guitarist and singer of the Wild Stallions, Quickdraw is a simple boy who just wants to enjoy seeing happy faces with his music. When the Skullgirl starts to make others miserable, it's time to step up to the stage and protect those smiles.
Lines:
-Selected: Excellent! (Revs up his guitar while doing a solo)
(Sits up playing his guitar before standing in all his simple intros)
-Intro 1: Let's get wicked to the breaking point, baby!
-Intro 2: Can't we be cool, dude? Fighting is so bogus...
-Intro 3: Whoa! Bill, Ted, let's make some noise, dudes!
-Special intro 1: Hey, wanna join me on stage? (Friendly waves at Squigly)
-Special intro 2: I so gotta jam with you, dude. (Plays his guitar beside Big Band)
-Special intro 3: Whoa, your music's cold, lady. (Steps away from Eliza)
-Victory 1: How about we chill? I'd rather rock than fight.
-Victory 2: Did that rock or what!? Awesome solo time!
-Defeat 1: Darn it... sorry, partners...
-Defeat 2: Bogus!
-PROLOGUE-
Quickdraw and his Dagonian bandmates - Bill, a yellow seahorse man wearing a cow patterned vest with green slacks, and Ted, a black seahorse man with a black leather jacket and pants – play in a large stadium to the cheers of their fans. Bill's at the drums while Ted is playing an electric guitar. Finishing their song, Quickdraw raises a fist with a large grin.
Quickdraw: Thanks a lot, ladies and gentlemen! For being so excellent and beautiful! Look at each other and tell me, aren't these the most breathtaking people here with us!?
The crowd cheers and then the scene changes to the three friends at their little break room, drinking water and relaxing.
Bill: Duuuude! Did you see how we rocked their world!? My ears are still ringing!
Ted: YEAH! They were as awesome as the guys last concert!
Quickdraw: Hey, dudes! We got more mail... Let's see... Oh, that little Susie's sent us another one. I really liked replying last time, but do you wanna join?
Bill & Ted: Ye-haw!
Suddenly, the entire stadium shakes and people cry for help. The three dudes see the small screen in their room fall and accidentally turn on when they fall flat on their butts. A reporter is shown on the screen with a horrified expression on her face.
"This just in! A new Skullgirl has arrived! Please, everyone, return to your homes and stay safe, we- Oh no! Step b-back! AAAAHHH!"
Undead zombies roam the streets and the screen then shows static, worrying Quickdraw.
Quickdraw: Oh no! If a Skullgirl's around... How can we reply to little Susie!?
Arming himself with his guitar and loading it with a chain of bullets, he turns to Bill and Ted who nod at him with a determined look.
Quickdraw: Let's go, dudes! We're the Wild Stallions, and we make people cry only in laughter!
Quickdraw, Bill & Ted: Ye-haw!
The three friends do guitar solos and get ready for battle.
-CONFRONTATIONS-
Quickdraw: Hey, lady, excuse us but could you tell us where the Skullgirl is?
Nun: Why would you want to know?
Quickdraw: Well, ma'am, my partners and I are barking on this most excellent journey to make sure no fan of us is unhappy in any way or form. Also...
Brandishing his guitar, Quickdraw narrows his eyes at the nun, who smiles amusedly.
Quickdraw: I can tell when a lady doesn't smile sincerely. And it's the job of the Wild Stallions to fix that!
Nun: Sweet boy, you're such an adorable fool. It seems your luck has run out. You'll make perfect sacrifices for the Skull Heart.
Quickdraw: Sorry, lady, but we've got a fan waiting for our reply and she's getting it. Bill, Ted, you dudes ready to rock!? It's about to get wicked!
Bill & Ted: Ye-haw, baby!
(After the battle)
Nun: Grr, to think such a foolish child would be this stupidly strong...
Quickdraw: I want to spread smiles through the world with rock, and there's no way I can do so if I didn't try to protect everyone.
Nurse: It seems you had fun, Double.
Double: Not a word, Valentine.
Valentine: No need, I'm up for some action against these fools.
Quickdraw: No way, miss, I'm making my fans and you smile.
Valentine: What stupidity is coming out of your mouth?
Bill: It's no stupid, ma'am, it's who we want to be as men!
Ted: Yeah, our quest's no bogus. We're bringing smiles worldwide!
Quickdraw: Even for you! We're taking out that Skull Heart so no more tears are shed!
Valentine: You shall soon lose that bravado, boy.
Quickdraw: We shall see! Bill, Ted, time to rock this joint, partners!
Bill & Ted: Ye-haw to the end!
-FINAL BATTLE-
Marie: So, you're the ones to reach me...
Quickdraw: Dude... When was the last time you smiled?
Marie: ...
Quickdraw: I see... Heh, I should've figured this world couldn't be nice. However, that's no reason to not look for and share joy with each other.
Marie: You seem to be a kind but naïve man. I shall make this painless.
Quickdraw: No worries, missy! I can tough it out until I get you to find whatever happiness you lost! Bill, Ted, let's give her one concert no one will forget! On three!
Quickdraw, Bill & Ted: Ye-haw!
(After the battle...)
Marie: I...I...
Quickdraw: All that anger you have... I'm glad I could take some of it for you.
Marie: Why... Why go through all this?
Quickdraw: You're here, you're given a chance to enjoy this world! I want people to smile like I remember my parents did before the Skullgirl... Before they were gone.
Marie: You... If that is true, why don't you despise me? How can such foolish ideals keep you going?
Quickdraw: It's because it makes the world a little better... If a little kindness can spread more acts of good, I want to share that with anyone and everyone! I want to make this world share a big grin together even if it's for a minute!
Marie: Heh... Had I met you before, had she and I found someone like you, perhaps a little joy could have changed everything...
Quickdraw: Did I... Did I at least help you?
Marie: Yes... Thank you for this kindness... Farewell...
Quickdraw: Goodbye, little missy...
-SKULL HEART CONFRONTATION-
Skull Heart: Fool, wishing for the joy of others for your own satisfaction won't-
Quickdraw: Kindly be quiet, sir. It's about time for you to leave the building.
Skull Heart: I shall not perish so long as there's desire in this world.
Quickdraw: Guess I ought to work extra hard to make. You won't be there, though. Bill! Ted! ONE! TWO! THREE! YEEEEEHAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!
With a mighty riff of his guitar, Quickdraw smashes the Skull Heart to pieces before he and his bandmates have to pull a hasty retreat on the collapsing building.
Bill: Well, dudes, it seems we saved the world for now!
Ted: Indeed, partner, but we still have more smiles to create!
Quickdraw: And we will together!
-EPILOGUE-
Quickdraw smiles as he and his bandmates are signing autographs with some of the cast lining up for one. Filia's static as she holds a vinyl record to her bosom. Nadia is trying to remain hidden from Parasoul who has a poster in her hands. Feng is dragging Cerebella, the petite girl having an outfit just like Quickdraw's and figurines of Bill and Ted.
Quickdraw: Thanks for coming, dudes and dudettes! Let's hear your wishes for the world to be a happier place and we'll make them real through our music!
-FIN-
And that's my rap!
I know this is weird, but I couldn't help myself since I had the idea on my head for a while on what a western-styled character would be like. At first I thought of the obvious ones, Clint Eastwood was about to be here, but then I found out when Keanu Reeves' birthday was. So, I hope you all have a little fun with this silly little piece. Sorry if it's short, but I really wanted to get it out.
Swordslinger out!