Ted had forgotten how creaky old castles were. Every sound had him leaping up from his chair, eyes swirling toward the door, but each time it was a false alarm. It was like the castle itself was taunting him, making him think she was here when she wasn't.
Ever since he'd told her he loved her, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Classes with the Slytherin's were the worst. He didn't dare look at her, since Rodolphus was still breathing down his neck, but he was hyperaware of her presence. He was all she could think about throughout the entire class period, meaning his grades were really suffering. But he didn't care, it was hard to imagine a future in the wizarding world that didn't include her.
He could almost laugh at his own dramatic moment. His love for Andromeda had crept up on him, like a slow poison, only now it had him completely intoxicated. Things had only gotten worse since that moment in his room. There had been something between them, stronger than anything he'd ever felt. In that moment he knew they belonged together. Andromeda had felt it too, she must have. But that didn't completely comfort him. Andromeda wasn't like him, she thought with her head, and her head would tell her to leave him.
What he was hoping for was nothing short of a miracle, and miracles were hard to come by these days.
The door finally creaked open and in stepped Andromeda. It seems no matter how many times he saw her, he was still blown away by her beauty. Why couldn't he have fallen someone a little less heavenly? It would have made his insecurity that much less.
"Ted," she was staring at him with that same embarrassed excitement she always did. "I see you finally learned how to read a watch."
"Actually, I haven't, which is why I showed up three hours ago."
Andromeda's mouth dropped open. "Really? That means you missed dinner? How could you have been so—" she didn't make it any further before Ted burst into laughter.
Andromeda turned red and lightly shoved his shoulder. "That's not funny anymore."
"It is as long as you keep falling for it," He grinned, and despite her best efforts, she grinned as well. They'd done that thing again, where they'd slowly gotten closer to each other without realizing it and were now barely a foot apart. Ted felt that familiar longing surge up in him, and it took all of his effort not to reach out and pull her against him.
He glanced down, as that was the only way he knew how to control himself. "I can't keep doing this."
He heard her gasp, and saw her body stiffen. "Do what?" she said, though she must have known what he was referring too.
"Being with you, but not being able to really be with you. I can't take it anymore." He hadn't meant to say that, it had just come out. It was true, as much as he didn't want it to be. Because now, if she chose Rabastan, he would lose her forever.
She sighed. "I can't do it anymore either."
He sucked in, like he'd been punched in the gut, through it really felt like someone had reached in and taken all his guts out in an instant. This couldn't be happening. He'd been so hopeful that for once, she would do what she wanted, not what she thought everyone else wanted her to do. But he'd been wrong, and now thanks to his own weakness, this might be the last time he was ever truly with her.
He looked down, so she couldn't see the pain in his eyes. He wasn't going to make this any harder on her than it had to be.
"I sent a letter to my uncle Alphard," she whispered. She was practically shaking. "Asking him if I could come live with him."
At least it was difficult for her to say goodbye too… wait, what did she say? She was moving? What do this have to do with him? He glanced up. She was still shaking, but not with sadness, with excitement, the kind of excitement that spread to every part of her body.
"I don't know how my parents are going to react to the news that I'm ending my engagement." She'd hadn't been able to meet his gaze, but his surprised glance had pulled her to him, and now she couldn't look away. "And sooner or later they are going to find out about you. I'm not sure they'll want to see my face again after that."
Ted could barely breathe. Her words didn't make sense. They were all jumbling up in his head, but she had definitely said something about ending her engagement.
"What are you saying?" he said, because he was unable to comprehend the implication of what she said. It was too much.
"I'm saying I want to be with you," she shivered at her own revelation, but her eyes were bright and clear as she glanced at him, "and only you."
Ted just gawked at her, open mouthed. He could hardly believe this was real, but she was here in front him, saying words he'd only dreamed of hearing.
He stepped closer and gently brushed a hand against her cheek. He had to make sure this was real, that she wasn't going to change her mind. She wasn't going to pull away from him again. But she stayed still. Her pulse quickened under his touch, but she didn't pull her eyes away.
He leaned down and slowly brushed his lips against hers. His lips were hesitant at first, almost scared, as tremors snaked their way down his body. But as she responded, he grew stronger. The kiss grew deeper, Andromeda wrapped her arms around his neck, gently pulling him to her. He moaned with pleasure, and everything in him change. His kiss changed. It was no longer desperate and longing but warm and joyful. He lifted her up and spun her around. She gasped but didn't remove her lips from his, and when she was back on the ground they picked up right where they left off.
"I love you," Ted whispered, when they finally came up for air.
He waited for her to say it too. He could feel her shaking, like she was preparing to say it. He wanted her to hear her say it, now more than anything.
But she didn't, instead she pressed her lips to his again. Her lips were impossibly soft and sweet, like she was trying to say it through them. He felt just a twinge of disappointment, but it was quickly forgotten in the loving lines she traced across his jaw.
It was one of those moments you never wanted to end, and it was only the sunlight beginning to stream through the window that finally pulled them away.
Andromeda walked as if her head were in the clouds all the next day. Who'd have thought she'd ever feel this way about anyone? It was terrifying and euphoric all at the same time, only this time she was willing to face the terrifying part of it head on. It was like she'd been tied down for so long, and now she had finally pulled free and was ready to fly. There were not words to describe her joy.
But there was one thing that brought her back to earth: Rabastan. Once the euphoria faded it was replaced by an overwhelming sense of guilt. She may not have chosen Rabastan, but that did not mean she cared for him any less. In fact, it made her care for him more. Even though her heart belonged to Ted, Rabastan had stolen a part of it, and trying to cut out her feelings for him would be almost as painful as losing Ted in the first place. Plus, she had no idea how Rabastan would fit into her life, and the idea of losing him completely was enough to make her heart stop beating.
But none of that changed what she had to, she had to be honest with him, and then hope that somehow, things would be okay.
She had him meet her in secret, as was her custom. He'd been so excited when she told him, and it choked her up completely. The truth was going to crush him, and she was dreading it more than anything else.
He waited for her in the room with a huge grin and a bouquet of flowers.
"These are for you," he said, presenting them to her. His hand graced hers and he grinned again. His touch and grin were like daggers to her heart.
"Thank you," she said, quickly pulling her hand away. It was shaking. She looked down, she couldn't bear to see that beautiful, hopeful face.
"Is something wrong?" she could tell from his voice that his grin had disappeared.
She could barely breathe, but she had to keep going, before she lost her nerve. "Rabastan, you have been so good to me." She looked him up, but she had to look him in the eye as she did this. "You are so much better than I ever could have deserved."
"But something's wrong," he said, staring at her intently. It wasn't a question, he knew something dreadful was coming. He reached out a hand, like he intended to brush her cheek.
Andromeda thought her heart would break. "I can't marry you," she choked.
Rabastan withdrew his hand, almost like a recoil. His eyes went wide. Whatever he had expected it wasn't that.
"I don't understand," he shook his head, a way of denying the reality in front of him.
Andromeda swallowed. She had to keep it together. "I'm in love with someone else, I've tried to pretend I wasn't, but I can't anymore." Her voice grew a little steadier as she said, "It's not fair to him, or you, to go on lying."
Rabastan just stared at her. It seemed he was unsure of what he was feeling. Anger definitely flashed in his eyes, but he kept it under control. There was pain there too, but mostly, just confusion.
"So, you're planning on calling off our engagement?" The disbelief in his voice was evident.
"Yes," she said, her voice sure this time.
Rabastan, was quiet for another moment, just staring at her. She wanted to say something, but she worried it would only make things worse, so instead she remained silent and let him accept the truth of her words on his own
"You know it won't be easy," he finally said, quietly, and without meeting her gaze. "They might even forbid it. Our families want this more than they've wanted anything in a very long time."
His voice was civil, but she could still hear that anger buried inside it.
"I know," she said, "but I have to try."
"Do you?" his voice was still soft and quiet, but he looked up. "You don't think I could make you happy?"
Her jaw dropped a little. His question took her completely by surprise. She wasn't sure what answer would be less painful, but she had promised she would give him the truth.
"I know you could," she tried to smile, but the truth of her own statement hit her and she was forced to choke down the sob that was trying to escape up her throat, "but you deserve to find someone who loves you the way I love him."
There was another moment of silence, only this time, he didn't look away. He stepped closer. Even though he spoke barely above a whisper she could hear him clear as day.
"And if I love someone, the way you love him?" He stepped even closer, so that she could feel his breath on her cheek. "What then?"
The way he looked her let her know this was not a hypothetical situation, as much as he had framed it as one. For a moment she thought she was really going to cry, right here, in front him. But she couldn't, not if she really cared for him.
"I'm sorry," her voice was close to shaking again, but she will it to stay steady as she said, "but for once in my life, my choice is clear to me."
She had said it softly, but her reacted like she'd slapped him. She hardly dared to breathe, for fear that breathing would let the tears escape. She hadn't wanted to hurt him, but she had known that would. She just hadn't realized how much.
"Could you at least tell me his name?" Rabastan asked quietly, "the one who stole you from me?"
He didn't say it harshly, but her pulse quickened. If he found out who she had chosen over him, his anger would spill out for sure.
"Not yet. Someday you will know, but not now."
He stared at her. There was nothing left to say, any more words would only make things more painful. But he, like her, knew that once they walked away, their courtship would truly be over, at least in the way that really mattered.
Having been in this spot once before herself, she knew she had to be the one to walk away. She gave him a small curtsy and turned away.
"Andromeda."
She stopped, slowly turning around. Rabastan had not moved, he was staring after her. That same twisted expression on his face.
"I know you think there's a way out, and if there is, I won't stop you. But if there's not, I would still rather spend my life with you than someone else."
She nearly gasped again. It wasn't exactly a declaration of love, but it was one of the most beautiful sentiments she had ever heard. She had said she didn't deserve someone like him, and now she knew it was true.
She didn't know what to say, what words could compare to that? So instead she took his hand and pressed it to her lips. Then she held it to her face, running her fingertips over his. She hoped her caress would communicate how much she cared for him, despite what he actions showed.
"Goodbye, Rabastan."
Then she left, not daring to look back. She managed to keep it together until she reached her room, then the tears finally burst forth. The racking sobs that her body made were painful, but there was something liberation about them too. Like with each sob, she was able to let go of what she felt for Rabastan, piece by piece.
It was sometime later that her sobs subsided, but when they did, she could finally breathe. Breath that seemed to fill her lungs with life.