It seemed like the universe had no shame, as the very next day in Defense Against the Dark Arts they were studying inferi. At the end of class, she decided she herself was an inferi. Not truly dead, but not truly alive either.
She'd felt too alive yesterday. Somehow she'd managed to keep herself together until Rabastan had led her back to the common room. She'd even managed a tired smile as he kissed her goodnight. Once she made it upstairs she barely had time to perform a silencing charm—the very charm she and Ted had practiced together all those months ago—before the sobs started ripping their way through her body. She'd never thought sobbing itself could hurt so much, but it did. She could barely breathe, her insides were so tight, but each sobbed managed to claw it's way out anyway. She was grateful for the physical pain though, it was a distraction, even if a small one.
She would never be able to forget his face. The betrayal, the pain. She would never forget his scream when her sister tortured him. The broken, defeated look he gave her afterward. Rodolphus had been watching her the whole time, so she dared not give him any sign that she cared. It was the only way she could keep him safe. She supposed she should be grateful it worked, but a part of her wished it hadn't. Because now she wouldn't be lying here, knowing she could never speak to Ted again.
It was sometime before the sobs subsided, and then she just laid there, her raspy breathing the only sound in the unnervingly still night.
She wasn't going to be able to live like this, this constant state of regret and longing. It would break before she even made it out of Hogwart's. In that moment, she knew it was better to feel nothing at all.
She closed her eyes, and let images of Ted fill her mind. His smile, his laugh, his voice, his touch. She let it all wash over her. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and a soft smile played on her lips.
And then she pushed it away, all of it, until she could feel nothing. Just empty.
She passed the rest of Defense Against the Dark Arts in a blur, the numbness making everything feel dull. But as it approached its end, she felt her heart pumping. Her next class was charms, the only class she had with the Hufflepuffs. The only time she would have no choice but to see him.
He might not even be there. He had gone through the Cruciatus curse yesterday— that took it's toll. She should be grateful that was all he got, all things considered. She wondered if he would report it, but she doubted it. Bellatrix wasn't the one who had truly hurt him, after all. She doubted Sirius would either. Bellatrix was far less likely to go after Sirius than Ted. It was one thing for a muggleborn to disrespect her family—that was unfathomable—but with Sirius it was expected. And as twisted as it was her sister would rather a pureblood like Sirius be responsible than a lowly muggleborn, no matter how much she detested that particular blood traitor. Still though, this was bigger than anything else Sirius had done, and he was going to have to watch his back. She doubted he'd throw fuel on the fire by getting her thrown in Azkaban, as that would bring her friend's wrath down on him.
Was it strange that this brought her a sense of relief? For all her sister had done, she didn't want her sent to Azkaban, even though she should. The idea that she didn't want Ted's tormentor brought to justice sent a new wave of guilt through her.
She walked to Charms as though in a trance, but as the same time she was steeling herself. She couldn't afford to make a mistake now, when she saw him, she had to treat him as a stranger. It was the only way.
But just as she began to ascend the stairs, a figure stepped in her path.
"My dearest sister," Rodolphus drawled, that dark, easy smile on his lips. "May I speak with you for a moment?"
The word no leapt to he tongue, but she held it back. It wouldn't be proper for her to refuse her future brother-in-law, and being the perfect little pureblood had now become her top priority once again.
She nodded, which made Rodolphus' smile deepen. There was something off about it though, but then again, there was something off about Rodolphus.
He turned immediately to a small closet door on her left, and gestured for her to step inside first.
Her heart started pounding, though she shouldn't have been surprised he wanted to speak privately. She tried not to cringe when he closed the door behind her.
"Rabastan's quite enamored with you, you know. " Rodolphus wasted no time starting this conversation. "He was quite heartbroken when you told him you wanted to call off the engagement."
She swallowed, but kept her voice steady. "I know. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused. I can only say I am grateful the enchantment was lifted before it was too late."
She thought she sounded sincere, and a part of it was. Rabastan, as far as she concerned, was just as much a victim in this as Ted. She'd managed to rip them both up quite well.
Rodolphus chuckled, and it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "Dear Andromeda, it's futile to continue in your lies with me." He stepped closer. His smile never faltered but a dark glint appeared in his eye. "I know the truth."
Her heart froze, but she was so accustomed to covering the truth at this point lies just rolled off her tongue, "I don't know what you are talking about."
She thought she sounded rather convincing, but Rodolphus' eyes only grew darker and his smirk more sinister.
"You know what Rabastan says about you?" he began easily. "He says you're quite the virtuous lady. Now, if it were me I wouldn't be particularly excited about that particular fact, but he is." He moved closer, looking her up and down in a way that made her distinctly uncomfortable. "That's why he's decided not to pressure you to take things further until the marriage bed."
This time she couldn't hide her shock, though she supposed she shouldn't be. She'd always known the brothers, from some odd reason, were close. She shouldn't be surprised Rodolphus knew intimate details about their relationship. Still, the thought made her want to shudder.
"Rabastan is an honorable man," she said solemnly. At least this time she wasn't lying.
Rodolphus shrugged. "That's debatable. Unfortunately for you though, your virtue is not. I must say I can't understand why you decided to whore after the mudblood when Rabastan would have been perfectly content to fill your desires if you had so asked."
Once again, her whole body froze. But she had watched the man she loved endure torture without flinching. This was nothing. "I don't know what you are talking about."
Once again, thought she sounded convincing. Offended, even, but nothing she said could remove that smirk.
"The enchantment story was inventive, I think. It allowed me to address the problem in a way that didn't break my dear brother's heart. And I must admit, the way you managed to spin it to save your precious little mudblood was impressive."
She swallowed. He almost sounded like he meant it.
She shook her head. "I don't—"
"Stop lying to me!" The sheer volume of his voice caused her to stumble back against the wall, but even that was not enough room to close the space between them. He was no longer smirking, and his eyes were no so dark she could scarcely see the pupil.
"I've been watching the two of you for some time now. I know… everything." The way his eyes trailed over her body made her shudder for real this time. "Who would have thought Bellatrix Black's sister could be such a blood traitor? Sirius is one thing, but you? You are something else entirely."
For a moment, she couldn't move. This knowledge could undo her, but what was worse was it could undo Ted. Undo everything she had sacrificed to keep him safe.
But if Rodolphus had known this for some time, then he could have destroyed her from the beginning, and he hadn't. She needed to know why.
"If I'm such a blood traitor then why bother to save me?" Her voice was surprisingly steady, considering everything that at stake.
"Because for whatever reason my brother has decided he wants you." His eyes softened, and for a moment he almost sounded like a decent human being. "And I suppose I can understand, you are a very beautiful woman."
And just like that, the moment was gone. He had grown close to her again, and one hand reached out to touch her cheek. She turned away so violently her cheek smacked against his head. Thankfully he withdrew it.
"I want to make one thing very clear to you. If you ever do anything that could hurt my brother again, if you are ever anything other than his devoted, submissive wife— I'll make sure your little lover regrets the day he was born, along with everyone he cares about."
She did not doubt his conviction. Not for one second.
"Do you understand?"
She couldn't bare to look at him, fearful he would see the loathing in her eyes and decide to hurt Ted anyway. She couldn't let that happen.
Slowly, she nodded. He let out a sigh of relief, followed by a soft chuckle.
"Perhaps there's hope for you after all, Andromeda Black." His hand reached out to her again, and once again her instincts screamed for her to leave. His hand moved down to the back on her neck, and he leaned in.
She shoved him away without thinking, and he laughed. "What? Nothing for your dear brother?"
This time she listened to her instincts, and ran. She didn't stop until she was far away from the staircase. She was panting, but that wasn't why her heart was beating loudly. She'd known Rodolphus was pretty monstrous, just like Bella. And she would never forget what he had done to Narcissa, but she had never been the recipient of this side of him. And it unnerved her in ways she never would have imagined.
And then there was his threat. She'd known she could never speak to Ted again, but now it was vital. Rodolphus knew the truth, and she was sure he would use that to his advantage for a long time to come. She couldn't afford to give him any more leverage, for both their sakes.
She was going to be late to Charms, but she didn't care. In fact, she was tempted not to go. But if she acted out of the ordinary, Rodolphus would start to get suspicious. She had no choice.
She waited until her heart stopped pounding, her breathing returned to something that resembled normal, and when she could no longer feel the lingering effects on Rodolphus' icy touch on her skin before she continued down the hall.
She was so late, she doubted anyone would be arriving with her, so her guard was done as she rounded the corner. And found herself facing a tall figure with golden-hair.