Written for:Hogwarts Assignment 12 - Gardening - Write about a pet rock.

Their 'Baby'

Omegaverse

"I'm sorry… what did you say our assignment was?" Remus asked, sitting up in the hospital bed and wincing at the pain in his ribs.

"We have a baby together," Sirius replied, setting the charmed rock down on the table. "This is Eridanus, our son."

Remus turned his head slowly, first looking at the rock before looking at Sirius. "I'm… I'm confused. It's a rock."

"Of course. They weren't going to hand out real babies," Sirius scoffed. "We've been paired for the assignment. We have to look after the rock together."

Remus nodded slightly, letting out a tired sigh. "Let me have a few more hours. I'll be out of here soon enough and then we can… you can show me the notes from class and we'll work this out."

"Perfect!" Sirius replied. "I can't wait. This project is going to be fun!" He scooped up the rock with care and rushed from the room. Remus could only stare after him.

"Fun?"

How could anything that involved looking after a rock be fun?

...oOo…

"The Ministry has imposed a sex-ed class on us," Minerva said, glancing around, ensuring everyone was paying attention. "At the end of the lesson, I'll be pairing you off so you can undergo a practice that has proven efficient in Ilvermorney - practice parenthood. But to start, I'm going to teach you the contraceptive charm. We don't want another hallway incident." Her lips drew into a thin line.

Sirius waited until everyone was practising the charm and Minerva was walking around the class, before calling for her attention. James and Peter were distracted, giving him the perfect opportunity to talk to her.

"I'd like to do the baby assignment with Remus," he requested somewhat quietly.

"Mr. Black, one thing I've learnt is that it's a bad idea to pair you with a friend of yours. It'll ensure no work gets done."

He shook his head. "No. It's not… I mean, I really would like to do this baby thing, but… Remus is perfect for it. I… would like to understand what it'd be like to have a baby with him. Even if it's just practice for our… the future."

Her expression softened as she realised the meaning of Sirius' words. "Very well. I'll ensure your name is matched," she replied. "But only if you work hard in class."

He grinned at her as he reached for his wand on the desk. "Of course."

...oOo…

Remus froze halfway into the dorm-room, his eyes on the bed. A little nest had been crafted on his bed out of his cardigans and a couple of scarfs, with the rock inside of it. Sirius was laying on his stomach across the bed, reading from one of Remus' books.

"Are you reading to that?" Remus asked. "It's just a rock, Sirius."

Sirius turned, glaring at Remus. "It's a rock - but for the next week, it's our son. My son and your son. The son that we conceived. Together."

"O...okay," Remus murmured, confused. "So… we take turns carrying it around?"

"He," Sirius quickly corrected him. "Our son. Look, you need to take this assignment seriously."

"I do," Remus replied. "I just… can I see your notes?"

Sirius nodded. "The parchment is on my bed. Me and Eri are fine here until you're ready to join us for family time."

...oOo...

"Professor McGonagall, I would like to request a new partner for the assignment," Remus said, approaching the Professor after dinner. Sirius had rushed off to put their 'son' to bed, but James was hanging around by the door, waiting for him. Remus assumed that Lily was looking after their rock.

"I'm confused, Mr. Lupin. Is Mr. Black not making an effort? He assured me he would work hard."

"I'm concerned that he's taking this as a joke and I'm not sure what to do," Remus admitted.

"Perhaps Mr. Black is trying to prove something to you," Minerva suggested. "I believe Mr. Potter would be able to explain it better." Her tone was dismissive, and Remus nodded, suppressing a sigh.

"Mate, don't try and get out of this assignment," James said, falling into step as Remus left the class. "This matters to Sirius."

"Why?" Remus pushed, exasperated. "Of all assignments, this is the first to get his interest, but he takes it all too far. My clothes are a mess and he chooses to do this stupid stuff on my bed."

James' hopeful smile faded quickly. "Because if he does it on his own, you might not bother to help," he stated. "Sirius wants to do this together. He specifically requested you."

"Me? Why? I'd have thought he'd be paired with you."

James shrugged slightly. "Maybe it's because he thought you'd put the work in…" he shot Remus a sideways glance. "Or maybe he wanted to prove to you that he's family material."

"What?"

"Well, if you had been listening, he was going on and on about how that stupid rock was your son… together. How you were both raising it. Together. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Remus shook his head and James let out a groan.

"Remus if I told you that an Omega was trying to show an Alpha that they were good at raising kids, what would you say was the cause of that?"

"But Sirius… he doesn't want to settle down and have kids."

"Yes he does," James snapped. "He's had shit growing up and he pretends none of that matters to him, but he's been running around trying to prove what a great Omega he is to get you to notice. He's practically spelling it all out for you. He's been pretty upset that you're ignoring him when he's trying so hard."

"But why does he need to prove that to me?" Remus asked.

James stopped, turned and grabbed Remus by the shoulders. "For someone so smart, you're not very smart," he snapped. "Sirius is in love with you. I swear your transformations have addled your brain or something. So you get back to the dorm-room, show Sirius that you're worthy to be his Alpha and pretend that rock is your child. If you hurt Sirius… just don't hurt him."

Remus stared at James in shock and James let go, storming off.

James had to be wrong. Sirius wouldn't like him when there were so many better alphas in the school… right?

...oOo...

"So… what's our schedule?" Remus asked, dropping down on the bed next to Sirius. "Also… Eridanus? We're asking for our rock… child to be bullied. Perhaps we should discuss names. Is it even a boy? And… it needs a bed, right?"

Sirius looked at him delighted and Remus glanced past him to where James gave an approving nod.

"I knew you'd come around," Sirius murmured. "As for a name… we can discuss it when our baby is asleep. I was just about to read him a story. Do you want to take over?"

Remus nodded, feeling a little silly at the idea of reading to a rock, but accepted the book anyway. Sirius let out a content sigh, leaning into Remus and resting his head on Remus' shoulder.

Remus couldn't help but smile. Maybe a little silly to read the book, but he would happily do it every day if Sirius would stay just like that.