Blank Slate

WolfStar

Remus took the big dog sitting on his doorstep in his stride, merely passing the beast and leaving the door open behind him as he headed towards the bathroom.

He flicked his wand to fill the bath with hot water. "Go and have a wash, I'll put some food on," he said, walking back to the front door just as the dog walked in. "Take as long as you need. I'll… Do you want me to prepare a bedroom for you?"

The dog turned and gave him a look that caused Remus to smile. If Sirius wasn't in Padfoot form, Remus would bet money on Sirius making a somewhat lewd comment about sharing a bed, about preserving heat or something along those lines.

He closed the front door and Padfoot disappeared into the bathroom.

"Leave the door open and I'll bring something clean in," Remus said. He listened to the sound of the water being disturbed as Sirius climbed into the tub, and headed quickly into the kitchen.

He turned on the oven and opened the fridge, quickly pulling out a bag of sausages and some bacon, setting them out on a tray. Chips were added to the next and he poured a tin of beans out into a small saucepan and set it on the hob, leaving the flame off until the rest of the food was almost ready.

There was a feeling of excitement inside of him as he searched his room, coming out with a pair of pyjamas that were warmer than the others. He grabbed his slippers and headed to the bathroom.

He walked in glancing towards the bath. Sirius' head was back, resting against the cold tiles and his eyes were closed. He looked exhausted, gaunt. He hadn't even bothered to pull the curtains back and Remus couldn't help the smile that came onto his lips.

He placed the items near the bathmat ready and walked out. Sirius didn't stir for a moment and Remus didn't want to distract him when he finally had a moment of rest. As he headed to check on the food, he recalled Hogwarts. Sirius never closed the curtain there either. Well, the curtain was always closed when James or Peter walked in. It was never closed when Remus walked in. It had taken him too long to realise that Sirius was trying to seduce him in an odd, non-confrontal sort of way.

It had been allowing Remus the chance to see him in various states of undress, and sulking when Remus went on a date with someone else.

...oOo...

"I feel alive again," Sirius murmured, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. "It feels good to wash in a proper bath again."

Remus smiled as he served the food up, making sure to put some extra on Sirius' plate. He added a couple of slices of buttered bread to the side, before bringing the plates over.

Sirius looked at the plate, hunger in his eyes, as Remus set it down.

"You're too good to me."

"Sirius, I should have trusted—"

Sirius' smile dropped and he glanced at Remus sharply. "Blank slate."

"I'm sorry, what?" Remus asked.

"Blank slate. Remus, I know you and I know me. We're both going to play the blame game until we can't bear to be around each other. I didn't trust you. You didn't trust me. We were both equally at fault and we both paid the price. I'd like us to just get the apologies done because I've been locked up for twelve years and we need to look to the present and the future, not the past."

"You're right," Remus said. "For what it's worth, I truly am sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Sirius said, his voice softening. "You're the love of my life, Remus. Deep down I knew you couldn't be the one to… I should have trusted that."

"I feel the same," Remus murmured. "So… where do we go from here?"

Sirius smiled. "You know, it's not the bath that made me feel alive again. It was seeing you in the kitchen - the memory of when we had a home together. The reminder of our love."

Remus smiled as Sirius reached out, grasping Remus' hand in his.

"Do you feel as alive as I do?" Sirius asked.

Remus considered the question. The past twelve years seemed to blend together in a dull grey nothingness. He couldn't recall a properly happy memory from any of those years - not until he got his letter for Hogwarts once more. Even so, that wasn't happy - that was concern and fear over what could happen there.

"I felt alive for the first time in years when you hugged me back in the Shack," Remus admitted, realising that the world felt less grey all of a sudden. "And even more so upon your return today."

Sirius smiled. "So, we're alive. Now what?"

"That's the big question," Remus replied, noticing that Sirius wasn't removing his hand. "Let's take it day by day."

"Together," Sirius finished.