"She's awake"
"What when did she wake up?"
"Dawson said not long ago, she didn't say much more, I knew I shouldn't have left." He skidded round the corner towards her room, Kelly seeing Dawson and Brett stood outside, his body immediately tensing when he saw their worried expressions. "Why are you out here? What's going on?"
"The doctors needed to do some reflex tests, see if her opening her eyes was just that or if she's actually waking up."
"Did she say anything?" Matt asked, his eyes darting between the two women.
"No she literally opened her eyes and stared straight ahead I don't think she even registered she was awake, if she was awake..." Gabby's words trailed off as she saw the light in Kelly's eyes fade. The realisation sinking in that she may have be too quick to call him and give him, give them, this hope before they had all the facts. For all she knew Stella opening her eyes meant nothing, for all she knew it was as the doctors had said a reflex and she actually wasn't making any progress at all. Seeing the light of hope behind her friends eyes slowly fade caused her heart to drop, the woman regretting making that phone call so quickly, part of her knowing even if she hadn't made the call he would have known sooner rather than later anyway. Hadn't he said he was already back at the hospital, it would of only been a matter of minutes before him and Matt had returned to the room and then what? What would she have said when they found them outside her room, what explanation could she have given for not immediately calling him like she'd promised. No, she'd done the right thing in calling, but maybe she should have worded it better, given him less information, not just blurted out that their friend was finally awake because now she thought about it she wasn't sure that, that was even the case.
"So... so she may not have woken up?" Severide's shaky voice cut through her jumbled thoughts, the paramedic shaking her head sadly.
"I, I don't know.." she said her voice barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry Kelly."
The four friends fell into silence, all of them either watching the room closely, or lost in their own heads, the minutes ticking by slowly while they waited, waited for some answers, waited to hear if Stella was indeed waking up. All of them holding onto the hope that whatever news they got would be good news.
The glass door slid open, the four first responders turning to face the doctor as she left the room, her face not giving much away as she made her way towards them.
"So?" Kelly asked the minute she stopped in front of him.
"She's waking up, she is reacting to all the reflex tests and light tests. She isn't awake properly yet but I would expect to see her fully alert and awake by tomorrow afternoon."
All of them released a breath of relief, tears streaming down Severides face as he wrapped Dr Johnson up in a hug, the man overwhelmed with relief and thanks. "Can I go in?"
"Of course, I'll swing by a bit later and see how she's doing, but this is good news guys, really good news. I don't know why she just suddenly decided to wake up, her scans this morning were all pretty much the same, but whatever the reason is I'm glad that we are seeing the progress. And I'm sure you all are too."
After a few more pleasantries and assurances between the group Dr Johnson left to go start her afternoon rounds leaving the friends to return to their positions beside the young firefighters bed. The air around them lighter than it had been for days, the group physically and mentally appearing in a more refreshed mood.
Kelly sat down next to her in the same spot he'd been in for days now, the man thankfully for his friends forcing him to go take a shower this morning. The man feeling so many things, his mind rushing of everything he wanted to say to her, to everything he needed to ask. He wanted to hear every detail of what had landed her here even if those details were going to be tough to hear, he wanted to be there for her, he wanted to be able to support her and help her rebuild her life. A life away from the toxic man she was currently married to, a life that could potentially hold hope for them. Although he still had no idea if his feelings were reciprocated by the woman in front of him or not he held out some hope. They were close, real close, everyone had seen it, people assuming they were a couple anyway, that had to mean something right? The chemistry wasn't just in his head, was it? He knew the only way to get answers to his questions was to ask her, but first she needed to get through all this, he didn't want to push her into a relationship, or make her think he had any other motives then helping her through what was bound to be a hard time. The woman having a long recovery ahead of her, not to mention police reports and maybe even a trail if Grant kept up this insistence of his innocence and there was no way she was going to do it alone, he was going to be right there beside her, if she let him.
The afternoon wore on slowly, Kelly unable to tear his eyes away from her as he held her hand, his thumb rubbing gently up and down the soft skin beneath it. The man not daring to blink in case he missed her opening her eyes again.
As the afternoon turned into earlier evening Brett made her exit, the blonde having plans she had been unable to get out off, the blonde paramedic having been on her phone for the best part of an hour trying to explain the situation but whoever was on the other end of the phone wasn't having any of it. She'd finally agreed she would met them for a short while, all while apologising to her friends around her and assuring them she would be back before the night was over and to let her know if anything changed.
Oooo
Stella was sure she was dreaming, the beeping, their voices. Did Dawson say doctors? Was she dead? Had he killed her? Her eyes flickered open, the harsh light blinding her as she took in her surroundings, their voices low and hushed as they spoke about her, the woman not being able to make out everything they were saying her head feeling fuzzy. She could make out his voice though, Kelly, he was there, he was, was that his hand holding hers? She wasn't sure, but she knew someone had a near death grip on her. Her throat bone dry as she opened her mouth to speak.
"Where am I?" she said slowly, blinking her eyes before slamming them back shut. Trying to dull the ache that was in her head.
"Stella?" Kelly said, the relief in his voice, making her force her eyes back open and to look at him.
"Am I alive?"
"You're ok Stella, you're going to be ok."
"What happened?" She remembered him being angry, she remembered them getting home but the rest was a blur. How had she got here? Where was her husband?
"Grant" Dawson said, Stella moving her focus to the other side of her bed, seeing Gabby and Matt sat next to each other. "He beat you pretty badly, I came after you but I was too late. When I got there... Stella I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault" she said shaking her head, the action causing a huge pounding in her skull, the woman regretting it almost immediately.
"No I know, it's his." Gabby said moving closing to the bed, the brunette sitting down beside her friend, her hand clasping around hers. "But if I'd have got there quicker maybe I could have helped you."
"Where is he?" Stella asked, looking around the room at her friends, "Is he... did he... was he arrested again?"
"He was, he's been released on bail but he'll pay for this."
"Ok" Stella said, closing her eyes again as she thought back to the events of the day. The events of tonight that had landed her here in this hospital bed, the undeniable evidence of what she'd been living with for the past two years. The pity she saw in her friends eyes as they sat beside her, with countless questions, questions she knew they wouldn't let her dodge anymore. Between what happened this morning and what happened tonight she knew they knew, she knew she couldn't hide it anymore. Her husband had been abusing her, and now he'd landed her in hospital her body broken and sore from the amount of times his fists had made contact. She couldn't avoid it anymore, it was going to come out, it had to. "How long was I out?" She asked.
A silence fell around the room, the friends watching as the woman before them watched them all. Their silence scaring her as none of them made any attempt to answer her question.
"Kelly?" She said turning to face him, "how long was I out?"
"Nine days" he told her, the woman's face morphing into one of confusion and fear.
"Nine... Nine days?" She asked repeating his words back to him, realisation sweeping over her. The woman's silence speaking more than her words ever could. The only sound in the room being the beeping of machines, the beeping that was telling her she was still alive, her heart was still beating, this wasn't all some horrible dream.
Grant hadn't succeeded in killing her, the woman almost positive was what his intentions that night had been, but although she was physically alive, mentally he'd killed a part of her, he'd beaten her down, he'd made her believe everything was her fault, he'd taken everything she had, every last shred of dignity had been ripped from her when he'd beaten her to the point of hospitalization, to the point of being unconscious for nine days. The one thing she'd had left was her secret and now it was laid out for everyone to see and he'd taken her privacy from her, the woman able to see that they knew. Her friends knew this hadn't been a one time thing, this wasn't just an argument that had gone a little too far, this had been a savage attack on her, on her body, this had been him trying to silence her. Maybe for good.
"Stella?" Gabby spoke quietly. "This wasn't your fault, nothing you could ever have done could have warranted what he did to you, and I promise you he will never ever hurt you again." She brushed her hand across her friends face, removing the flow of tears that were flowing down her cheeks. The broken woman in her retreating, she could see it, she was shutting down. Everything being too much for her to deal with at once. The men in the room staring at the two of them as Dawson did everything she could to comfort Stella from the awkward position they were in.
"What happened to my arm?" Kidd suddenly asked, the woman noticing the cast restricting her movement.
"When... during the, erm, whatever Grant did he broken your arm in several places, he all but shattered your wrist. You had to have surgery on it."
"What?" The fear in her voice telling them what she was thinking.
"Don't worry Dr Johnson said you should make a full recovery and is confident that you'll still be able to do your job." Kelly said, his voice snapping her head back to him. Her eyes tracing down her body before settling on their conjoined hands, the woman squeezing slightly when she saw the uncertain look cover his face.
"Stella do you, err can you..." Gabby stumbled the woman trying to ask the question on everyone's lips. "Do you remember what happened?"
She shook her head, "not really. I remember being at Molly's, I remember grant coming in and him and Kelly getting into a fight outside, but then it's all a bit of blur. He was mad, really mad, he kept screaming at me as I drove us home and then when we got inside the apartment he... he..." her voice trailed off, her head flooding with images of him towering above her, his voice bouncing around her head, the tears flowing down her cheeks once more.
"It's ok, you don't need to talk about this now." Severide reassured her, the man throwing a pointed look in Gabby's direction, the paramedic taking the hint.
"I'm err, I'm just going to make a phone call. Let Antonio know your awake. Don't worry I'll tell him you aren't ready to talk yet."
"Thank you" Stella said smiling softly at her friend.
Casey stood up the man taking his silent cue from his wife, the woman nodding her head to the side indicating that maybe they should let Kelly and Stella have a few minutes.
"I'll go tell Dr Johnson you're awake. It's good to finally have you back Kidd" he said flashing her a wide grin, the mans action reciprocating the genuineness of his words.
"Thanks guys, thanks for being here."
"We wouldn't be anywhere else" Gabby said, the couple stepping out of the room, pulling the door closed behind them.
"So" Stella started, her focus returning to their hands.
"Erm yeah, sorry" he said releasing his grip slightly. Stella pulled it back quickly, the woman matching the grip on his that he had, had on hers moments prior.
"Don't be" she said smiling at him. Her soft voice calming her nerves as he began to understand her meaning, the woman's eyes completely locked on his as they conversed silently.
"I've wanted to say something before, but, well everything... it just never felt like a good time... I, I'm so sorry Stella, if I'd said something."
"Kelly, this isn't your fault. And truthfully if you'd said anything before I probably wouldn't have listened, I'd have probably shut you down. I... I don't deserve someone like you." Her last words were so quiet she wasn't sure he'd heard her, but he had.
"Don't say that."
"It's true, I'm a screw up Kelly. I am truly a mess."
"No Stella" he said firmly, "you've just been going through a tough time. But it's ok now, we're going to help you through this, all of us. Your friends are here for you, starting with me."
"Thank you" she whispered.
"There's no thanks necessary, you are an amazing woman Stella Kidd, I just wish you'd see it. But one day you will, even if it means I need to tell you a thousand times a day, I will. I'm here for you, right here, and I'm not going anywhere I promise. No expectations, no motives, I just want to help you through this."
The two fell into a comfortable quiet, Kelly in a similar position he had been in for the past nine days, the only difference being that he's hand in hers was now being squeezed back, the man more content than he could put into words.
Oooo
"How are you feeling Stella?" Dr Johnson asked, the woman tapping on the tablet in her hand, as she flicked through the most recent scans.
"Sore, but I'm good."
"You sure? I can prescribe some more pain relief if you need it."
"I'm good," she insisted again. It had been two days since she'd first woken up, the woman having experienced a fair bit of pain in the first 48 hours of consciousness. Something the doctors had been trying to control as much possible, especially as it had been decided during discussions between the team and Stella that she wanted to have the bones repaired, even after hearing how painful it would be she had decided to have the surgery to repair them after finally admitting how painful she found them sometimes. This mornings rounds consisting of going over the final details and paperwork so that she could head in to the operating room later on today.
"Now you are third on my list for today, so depending on how my other two surgeries go this morning we should have you down sometime just before lunch. Have you got any questions?"
"No, I'm good." She said, the firefighter turning to face Kelly "anything you can think of?"
"How long do you anticipate being down there?"
"It depends really but it shouldn't more than a couple of hours tops. Once we have rest the bones it'll be a long recovery, I don't foresee you being able to get back to work for a couple of months at least, but we will take everyday one at a time. So if that's all, I know you've been through a lot but the police were asking about talking to you."
"Thank you Doc, they can come in."
Giving a short nod in response Dr Johnson left the room, Stella and Kelly seeing her talking with Antonio and Lindsay, the two detectives eyes glancing into the room as they nodded to whatever was being said to them.
"Stella, if you're feeling up to it we would like to speak to you? We need to ask you some questions about what happened to you?" Antonio spoke first, the man standing at the end of her bed.
Stella looked at Kelly, her eyes meeting his as he squeezed her hand gently. "It's ok" he said quietly, the woman nodding at him before she turned her focus back towards her friends brother, the woman silently grateful it was two people she knew that had come to speak with her.
"Ok" she said pushing herself up the bed slightly. "What do you want to know?"
Gabby and Matt pushed themselves up from their seats, the couple saying they'd go get some drinks and wait outside until she was done, not wanting to intrude on what was bound to be a painful experience for her. Kelly began to rise from his own seat to follow them but she gripped his hand tightly, the man needing no other indication that she wanted him to stay.
"It's ok, I'm not going anywhere" he said gently, "I was just going to help raise you up." he reached across the bed, pressing the button to raise the head. Stella smiling weakly at him as he sat back down beside her.
Taking a deep breath Stella began to lay out everything that had transpired between her and Grant, starting at the events of that morning. Erin told her they had the notes from the call and could see from them that she had stopped the interview shortly after starting. Stella began explaining that she had been scared, scared of what he would do but after what happened that night, after he'd beaten her so badly she had to say something, she couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"Can you tell us what exactly happened?"
"It's fuzzy" she said nervously, "I can try." The officers nodding as she explained to them all that had happened starting with him turning up at Molly's and walking them through the rest of the evening to the best of her ability.
"Grant he turned up at Molly's I'm assuming straight after he was released, I was working the bar so I didn't see him at first, I was restocking the glasses below the bar. But I heard him, I could hear him talking to Gabby, and then I heard him say something to who I assumed was Kelly. It was then that Kelly..." her words trailed off looking between the man beside her and the two detectives.
"It's ok Stella they know." Severide said, his smile comforting her.
"He shouted at him and told him he was never going to let him hurt me again, but Grant he was angry, really angry. He shouted for me and I was too scared to ignore him, so I got up and did what he said, but when we got outside, Kelly followed us and Grant he pushed me to the ground. I don't think he meant to that time, but next thing I knew him and Kelly were fighting, I don't know who started it, I didn't see. But they were on the ground next to me, and I screamed for them to stop and then we got in the car and all the way home he was shouting at me..." she closed her eyes as she recalled the events of what happened next, the woman seeing them in her head almost like a movie as she described everything.
"What did you tell them" he yelled, dragging her from the car, pushing her forcefully towards the building and up the stairs.
"Nothing Grant, I didn't say anything" she begged pushing herself into the walls of the room. His body towering over her as he strode behind her, the woman before him shaking uncontrollably as the fear cursed through her. The man smirking at the reaction she gave him, as he made his voice growl. Her shaky hands reaching for her keys as she unlocked the front door.
"Why the fuck was he here?" He screamed slamming the door behind them, Stella immediately making her way across the room trying desperately to put some space between herself and the angry man in front of her.
"I.. I please Grant I don't know."
"Who is he Stella, who was Grant referring to?"
"Kelly" Stella answered her eyes snapping open and looking towards the man next to her before continuing.
"Bullshit" he said, his fist landing hard against her stomach, the air being knocked out of her as he pulled his fist back again, "You were going to run off with him, you were packing your bags. You're nothing but a fucking slut!"
"Please Grant" she begged again, curling her body up into a tight ball, trying to shield as much of herself as possible.
They'd argued all the way home from Molly's, Grant getting more and more worked up the closer they'd got to their apartment. The altercation he'd had with Kelly only fueling his anger more, the man baring a black eye amongst several other visibly reminders of the punches the firefighter had landed. All because she couldn't keep her mouth shut, because she couldn't keep her legs shut. The man throwing her up against the wall of their apartment, his arm pressing against her chest as he held her in place, yelling in her face.
"You called the police you stupid bitch, you had me arrested!"
"I'm sorry"
"You're fucking him aren't you?"
"No" she screamed as punch after punch rained down on her body, the man no longer careful to only lay the punches where the bruises couldn't be seen.
"Please Grant" she begged, the man standing over her as she cowered in the corner. He was mad, madder than he had been in a while, the confrontation between him and Kelly at Molly's not being the only cause of his anger today. The woman in front of him terrified of what of what he might do next."
"Get out of my sight" he finally yelled, stopping the onslaught on her body. The woman scrambling out of the room, leaving him stood alone. His fist making contact with the wall as his frustration came out in full force, Not satisfied by just putting a hole in the wall he picked up the lamp on the side, the china shattering as it hit the wall.
He could hear her sobbing, why did she always fucking cry? God he hated the fucking waterworks! "Stella shut the fuck up!" He screamed crashing through their bedroom door, grabbing her by her pony tail and dragging her back into the lounge, her tears only fuelling him more and more, his anger worse than it ever had been with her.
Immense pain flooded her body when it made contact with the wall, the man having flung her across the room "I said shut the fuck up!" He screamed, whacking her around the head, her hands coming up to protect herself, she curled into a tight ball. Grant landing one final kick before he turned on his heel and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Leaving her body broken on the living room floor.
"I don't remember anything else. He left and my body must have succumbed to the pain because next thing I know I was waking up here in this bed."
"Ok and was that the first time? Had he ever done anything like this before?" Erin asked, tears brimming in her own eyes.
Stella swallowed thickly her eyes darting around the room while she thought over her answer, it wasn't that it was a difficult question to answer. The answer alone was an easy one, no, no this wasn't the first time but she knew saying those words opened a can of worms, a can of worms that would never been able to be closed again after she uttered those words. The moment she admitted to what had been going on there was no going back, it would be out there for everyone to see, for everybody to hear, they would all know what he'd put her through, about all the times she'd lied to them about where she'd got those bruises she couldn't cover, it would all come out and there would be no going back.
The topic hadn't really come up in the past couple of days, Kelly hadn't asked and she hadn't offered. Dawson and her had tip toed around it but even then she had neither denied or confirmed anything. The woman finding it easier just not to talk about it, even when Dr Johnson had asked how she'd got the injuries they were going to repair later that day she'd not answered.
"No" she merely whispered.
Kelly's heart breaking as he heard her finally admit the truth, the truth he'd know for a while but hadn't been able to stop. The truth he was sure she never wanted to come out. The truth he'd asked her about several times over since she'd started at fifty one and each time she'd shut him out, the truth that his friend, his best friend had been being hurt by her husband, hurt by the person who promised to love and protect her. The thought made him sick to his stomach, how could anyone hurt another person like that, how could anyone promise to love someone forever and then break that trust in the worst way possible?
"Ok" the she nodded, "How many more times?"
"I'm not sure, it wasn't all the time. Sometimes he'd just say things, he'd just.. he wouldn't always hit me." Her last two words were barely audible, the thick thump in her throat almost preventing the words from coming out,
"How many times?" She asked again.
"Maybe ten times he's really gone for it" her admission felt like it was crushing the friend sat next to her. His own tears rolling down his face. "He'd hold me too tightly, and shout a lot but he only really... he only... this happened only a few times."
"Ok, Stella I think it's best if we continue this at the station at another time, but for now we have enough to charge him for this alone, but I think you need to press charges as an abused spouse. Now obviously that's if and when you are feeling up to it, but if you come to the station we can discuss your options. Your doctors want you to rest, and we will keep you updated."
"Thank you" she mumbled, brushing the tears from her own face.
"I'm truly sorry Stella" Antonio said, the man pushing himself up from the seat he'd settled in, "this shouldn't have happened to you, and I'm truly sorry it has. But please rest up and heal up, we'll be in touch."
They left the room, a silence falling between the two friends. Neither one of them knowing where to start. Stella lying on her back facing the ceiling, her mind racing with a million different things.
Now she'd admitted it she couldn't go back, she knew that. She couldn't go home, to the home she shared with him, she was completely homeless. There was no way she could return to that place, it held far too many bad memories for her, and once the charged him his fury would be incomprehensible. He would be absolutely furious that she'd spoken up, and if he got a chance to get even the slightest bit of time alone with her... it just didn't bare thinking about. She knew she needed to rest, she knew that for now her only concern should be healing, but she couldn't help wondering where she was going to live, what she was going to do. She couldn't afford to leave by herself, especially as she'd be off sick for the foreseeable, but she couldn't return to his place. Not now. Not ever.
"What's going on in there?" Kelly asked, his finger tapping gently against her temple. The man seeing a million different emotions run across her face.
"I... I can't go back."
"What?"
"The apartment, I can't go back. I've got nowhere to go.." her words were quiet, the fear in them crushing heart as he realised she really did think she had nowhere.
"Stay with me." He said, his words reflecting the truth of what he truly wanted.
"What?" She said her head turning to face him, "Kelly, I... we can't."
"I have an extra room, and I don't, no I won't take no for an answer. I'll send Casey to go get your stuff, Gabby can help him. Give me your key."
"Kelly.."
"Stella, please you're going to need looking after, you've got a long road ahead of you, let me help. Come stay with me. For now at least. Please."
She sat thinking over his offer for a while, Stella thinking of all the possible places she could go as an alternative, but the truth of the matter was she had nowhere else to go, there were no other spare rooms in her friends houses. If she turned him down over fear of her feelings, she'd be turning down her only chance of a bed. But what if he thought it was more than just her taking the room, she couldn't pay him rent or anything, she wasn't going to be working and all her money was in a joint account at the moment, there was no way Grant was going to let her have it, not without a fight anyway. She didn't want him thinking she was using him, but she didn't have any other choice.
"Ok" she agreed quietly. Her words bringing a soft grin to her friends face. The man placing a gentle kiss to her head as he smiled down at her.
"Great."