"Can I have another please?" Stella shouted towards Hermann, the brunette perched on a chair at the end of the bar waving the empty beer bottle around.

"Sure Kidd give me a minute."

It had been a week since she gave her statement to the police, a week since her conversation with Kelly about how he felt and she was no clearer about what she would do with the information. In fact things between the two had been downright awkward since, they'd taken to avoiding each other around the apartment and only communicating when absolutely necessary. Stella having left early this afternoon to do some shopping and ending up at Molly's, the woman now on her fourth beer. It wasn't that she didn't have feelings for her now room mate, she did, strong ones but she wasn't sure she could open herself up to another man right now. Especially another man with his reputation, she'd heard what he'd said about how he didn't want to be that person anymore, how he couldn't and wouldn't do anything to hurt her but the fact still remained that he had a reputation, a reputation for breaking woman's hearts along with his promises.

"Here you go" Hermann said pulling her out of her head. "You good?"

"Yeah I'm fine honestly."

The older man didn't look too convinced as he gave her a sharp nod of the head before returning to cleaning the glasses he was previously working on. "You know you can talk to me right Kid?"

"I know."

"If something's bothering you it's not healthy to keep it bottled up."

Stella gave him a short nod taking a sip of her beer before answering. "It's just.. Severide told me last week that he's in love with me." She blurted out.

Hermann tried to cover the look of shock that covered his face but she caught it. "He what" he spluttered.

"He told me he was in love with me" she said again.

"What did you say?"

"I told him he didn't mean it" she sighed "I don't know if he does or not. I mean this is Kelly Severide we're talking about Hermann. Not like he's one to settle down and start a family."

"Stella I don't think he's saying he wants that right now." He said, stopping what he was doing and moving back towards where she was sat. "Is he?"

"No" she said shaking her head, "he didn't say that, but..."

"But what? It's pretty obvious to me and pretty much everyone else around you that the feeling is mutual. That his love, his feelings aren't completely one sided so what's holding you back?"

"I don't really know." She told him shrugging her shoulders and taking another swing of her beer. It wasn't exactly a lie, she didn't fully understand what was holding her back, sure she had her reservations but she was also pretty certain of her own feelings for him.

"Come on you must have some idea?" Hermann asked raising a sceptical eyebrow at her.

Taking a deep breath she tried to communicate her thought process out loud. "I.. what if he gets into this with me and then I tell him everything that happened and he doesn't want to be with someone so... tainted. What if I let myself open up to him, let myself love him and he breaks my heart like he has all those other women? What then?"

There was a silence between the two of them, both the older man and young firefighter mulling over her words. Hermann trying to find the right words to reassure her but he couldn't, after all she was right. They'd all seen the ruins of previous relationships, if you could call them that. He didn't have a great track record but there was something telling the man that this was different, that if Kelly and Stella got together, that they made sense and no matter what everything would work out for them if they let themselves take this jump.

"Have you spoken to him about it? About what you went through?"

"Some."

"Ok so what's stopping you from telling him the rest? What's stopping you from being with someone you quite obviously love?"

"I'm not sure I can go through the heartbreak of the man I love not turning out to be who I thought he was. I'm not sure I can do that again, it hurts too much." She admitted quietly the sad look in her eyes near breaking his heart. "And as for telling him all of it? I'm not sure I can... what if I tell him and he can't look at me anymore? Or love me anymore?" The fear in her voice unmistakable to the older man across the bar from her. She was scared he could see that, and he wasn't sure what to say to make her feel any better but he knew he needed to say something.

"Listen to me. Kelly he isn't.. he's not.." he sighed "your right ok. People have been hurt by him in the past but the way he looks at you. The way he looks after you, something tells me it's different. I've known him a long time and I've never ever seen him look at someone like he does you. I don't know why but I think you two are meant for each other. I think you just have to take the leap, because if you don't you're going to live your life wondering what if and I'm sure that is going to hurt more than allowing yourself to love the person that you love. And that loves you back. What I do know is that you need to speak to him, tell him what you need to and get it all out there because secrets and lack of trust is a really unhealthy way to start a relationship if that's what you decide to do."

"Look at you making all sense" Stella teased trying to shift the thick feeling in the air around them. She knew what he said was true. She only had to think of the dreams, visions, whatever they were when she was in the coma, they were laced with relationship moments, relationship moments with Kelly. And they were happy, they were full of love. She just had to believe that her fantasy could be her reality.

"What can I say it happens sometimes." He said smiling at her before turning his attention back to the glasses.

She sat for a short while thinking over everything Hermann had said, he was right she knew that. Before anything could happen between her and Kelly she needed to open up to him, tell him everything, clear the air and let him in. She couldn't and wouldn't start anything until she'd been able to do that, he needed to know what he was getting into before going forward. It was only fair, and if they entered a relationship together he'd hear it sooner or later anyway. But she couldn't do it just yet, she needed some time, time to process and work out how to best approach the conversation.

She loved him too she was certain of that, the feelings she had for him were strong. She couldn't pinpoint the moment they'd started, she couldn't even say why, but there was something so inviting and so welcoming about him and she knew she wanted to see where it would go with him. Despite this knowledge though she was still scared and nervous.

Her phone buzzing in her pocket pulled her out of her head, the woman staring down at the screen to see the man's name flashing across it. Her throat dry and hands sweaty, she recognized the number but she didn't want to answer it, she didn't want to speak to the person on the other end. She pressed the decline button and shoved the device back into her pocket downing the rest of her beer.

Where did she start? They had barely even spoken over the past week how was she supposed to even start the conversation with him? Where did she even begin to tell him everything that had happened? All that Grant has done to her. She knew he'd be upset, and angry, probably even disgusted when he heard everything she'd gone through, everything that man had put her through. The man that was the reason she found it difficult to trust even her closet of friends. She'd only allowed Dawson to be with her at the station because she was nervous, nervous of having to say everything out loud but the look on her friends face afterwards, the pain and hurt that was written across her face, the sad look in her eyes, the regretfully stare she kept catching her give her ever since. She wasn't sure if she could bare having Kelly look at her that way. If she could bare seeing that amount of pain and hurt in his eyes. She was sure that alone would break her, that if he started looking at her with that look of pity it would eat her alive that she has caused him to look like that. But then on the other hand she knew that Herman's was right, if she didn't tell him and he found out through a trail, through police reports and Gabby, that would hurt him more than anything she could ever say. No she had to tell him, but she didn't have to do it right now. Now she could have a few beers and then she'd go home and she'd tell him.

Her phone buzzed again, the same name flashing across her screen, again she declined it placing the device down in front of her. Her screen lighting up once more with a message telling her she had a voice mail. Shaking her head she pulled the phone to her ear.

Stella baby, Please come home.

Her throat went dry at the sound of his voice. She didn't know what to say, or what to think. She didn't want to think anymore, she just wanted to forget.

"Can I have a shot Hermann?" She asked, her voice sounding a lot more rough than it had a few minutes ago.

"It's still early?" he questioned raising his eyebrow at her, she was vulnerable at the moment and the last thing he wanted was to watch her drown herself in alcohol instead of facing her problems.

"So?" She said "I'm a paying customer aren't I?"

"Well... ok" he said pouring her out a shot and sliding it towards her, something was different. In the few minutes since their last interaction something about her demeanor had changed. "You still doing ok?"

"I'm fine" she snapped, "I'll take another" she pushed her empty glass towards him, "Actually just keep them coming."

"Stella.."

"Hermann just refill the god damn glass will you?" She said firmly, the tone she was using confirming something was wrong. He wasn't sure what had happened but he knew he needed to keep a close eye on her.

"Just leave the bottle" she said, Hermann once again trying to make sure she was ok but being waved away from her.

Kelly flicked through the channels, the man not really paying much attention to what was really on. It was early only a little after eight, he wasn't sure where Stella had got to but he also knew it wasn't really his business what she was doing. That thought alone made him frown, he wished it was his business, he wished she was his girl and he had a right to call her worried but he also knew that she wasn't and as much as he was concerned he didn't want to crowd her. After all it wasn't like they'd really spoken or spent much time together since last week. Huffing out a breath he moved across the apartment heading for the kitchen and a beer, maybe he should text her. No he'll ring. No she didn't need him checking in on her all the time, she'd made it very clear that she needed time to think over what he'd told her, she needed some space and time and he would honor that even if it was breaking his heart to see just how much distance had been put between them. He was starting to wonder if Gabby had been wrong, if him opening up to her and telling her how he felt wasn't the best course of action.

Taking a sip from his beer, he pulled his phone of the charger. The man about to dial her number as it started buzzing in his hand. He frowned when he saw the name flashing across his screen, he couldn't work out why he'd be calling him. Bringing the phone up to his ear he said "Hermann hey."

"Hey Sev, erm are you busy?"

"No why?"

"Stella's here."

"Where? At Molly's?" The man unable to hide the shock in his voice.

"Yeah, she had a couple of beers and we were talking and she seemed fine but I don't know what happened. She.. she's hitting the shots pretty hard. I'm worried about her."

"I'm on my way." He said hanging up the phone.

Why was she at Molly's, she'd said she was going shopping. Sure he had thought it was a little strange she was still out at this time but he just assumed she'd stopped for some dinner or something and she'd be home before long but Molly's, that was the last place he would have expected her to go. She'd turned him and Gabby down on the few occasions they'd suggested going there. She'd said she wasn't ready to face everyone there, after all that had been the place that dreadful night had started, everyone there had witnessed the way her husband had treated her. He'd understood her reluctance to go there with them, and now he was even more confused by why she would have gone by herself. Placing his barely touched beer on the side he grabbed his keys and jogged out of the building towards his car.

Severide drove through the streets of Chicago at a hefty speed the man needing to get to Molly's and help the woman who consumed his thoughts. He didn't know why she would be there, he didn't know why she'd be hitting the bottle so hard. She'd barely drunk anything since leaving the hospital just over a week ago, in fact he'd barely seen her eat or drink anything which only made the sudden bender she was on even more concerning. Pulling up outside the bar his thoughts were completely flooded with images of what was waiting for him behind the heavy doorway. Was she completely inebriated, was she distraught, was she talking, had she gone silent? He had no clue what state she'd be in when he got inside, he hadn't asked and Hermann hadn't offered the information. Pulling his keys out of the ignition he made his way across the street as quickly a he could, pulling open the door and stepping inside, his eyes darting around until he found the woman he was looking for.

Stella was half sitting, half leaning against the far side of the bar, a bottle of tequila in her hand and what looked like a glass of water in front of her. Gabby was stood by the side of her talking to her but whether or not Stella was paying attention Kelly couldn't see. From his position by the door he could tell she was pretty drunk, her head flopping forwards into her arms each time she tried to look up.

"Sev" Hermann said when the older man spotted him. "I tried to cut her off but she's not having any of it, she just keeps drinking and crying. I didn't know what else to do."

"It's ok, I've got her. Thanks for calling me" he said moving across the semi busy bar in long strides, not stopping until he was beside her and Gabby. "Stella" he said gently resting his hand on her shoulder.

"Kelly" she half sobbed looking up at him the glassy look to her eyes making it hard to focus on the man that now stood in front of her, "I'm so glad your here. Hermann get Kelly a glass." she shouted down the bar. Severide shaking his head although there was no need, Hermann knew he wasn't here to drink, he was here for one reason to get Stella and take her home. The young firefighter in absolutely no state to be making her way by herself.

"Stella how about we go home yea. I think you've had enough."

"NO" she near shouted, pulling the bottle he'd been trying to get out of her hand away.

"Ok, but I really think you should drink the water here" he said pushing the full glass towards her.

Stella shook her head, the tears streaming down her face as she lifted the almost empty bottle to her lips. Kelly was pretty sure she had more tequila in her than any other fluid at this point and he knew she would be regretting it in the morning. But right now his biggest concern was getting the bottle away from her and getting her in the car to go home although he had no idea how he was going to do that when she seemed so determined to drink herself into another coma.

"Come on, I've got you" he said as she lugged herself at him, the sudden action taking him completely of guard that he'd had seconds to realize what she was doing. "How about I take you home and we can stop at that Thai place you like on the way. You can have whatever you want?"

"I... I.. when will it stop hurting" she cried, Severide looking towards Dawson for the first time since arriving, the paramedic shaking her head sadly.

"She's been like this for a while, just keeps mumbling about how she just wants to forget."

"I don't want to remember anymore" she cried. "Why did he do it Kelly, why couldn't he be like you? Why did he hurt me? What did I do?"

Her broken voice was like a knife in his chest, her words reflecting the pain she was very clearly in and although he knew this day would come, the day that she'd break down he didn't ever imagine it would happen so publicly.

"Listen to me. If you want to talk we will but here isn't the place. Shall we go home and then you can tell me what made you drink tonight yea?"

"Ok" she nodded, the fight he'd witnessed in her when he first arrived long gone. "I'm sorry."

"Hey none of that ok?" he said helping her to her feet. His arm supporting her around her waist as he turned towards the door.

"Kelly" Gabby said, her voice making him turn his head back. "Let me know how she is later please?"

"I will" he nodded, "and Gabby thank you, for looking after her."

"Always."

"Come on let's get you home" he said tightening his grip slightly on Stella's unsteady body as they manoeuvred their way through the other patriots, Kelly apologising to everyone they bumped into along the way.

As they got to his car he was taken a back when Stella pressed her body against him, the firefighter pinning him against the passenger door her lips on his before he had time to stop her. The man having to force himself to pull back. "Not like this" he said gently pushing her backwards.

"I thought you wanted to be with me" she slurred a hurt look washing over her face.

"I do but not like this, you're drunk."

"SO" she said firmly trying to pin him once more. But he was ready this time, his arms coming out in front of him as he held her shoulders gently. Shaking his head at her.

"Stella l'd love more than anything to kiss you, but I can't not like this. Not when you aren't in a sane mind."

"I'm not insane Kelly! Jesus." She said stepping back suddenly, her arms wrapping across her body protectively. "Just take me home." She demanded stepping around him and climbing into the car, slamming her door behind her.

Severide shook his head he could see he'd upset her and that hadn't been his intention, but he also knew that he couldn't let her kiss him now. It would be taking advantage and it would make him just as bad as the man who had caused her so much pain and misery already, the man he so desperately wanted to help her get over. Pushing out a frustrated breath he jogged round to the drivers side climbing in and starting up the car.

"Come on" he said smiling at her.

The drive home was tense and silent, neither of them saying a word to each other. Stella pushing her body as close to the door as she possibly could, her body turned away from him as she silently nibbled on her lip. About a block away from the bar she suddenly pulled the window down, the motion of the car making her feel an overwhelming feeling of nausea.

"You ok?" He asked glancing at her sideways. "Do you need me to pull over?"

"I'm ok. Just keep driving" she said.

The silence around them resuming, each of them so lost in their own thoughts that they didn't notice the car behind them. The car that had followed them from Molly's.

Kelly woke up suddenly the sound of retching pulling him from his uneasy sleep. "Stella" he called heading towards the sound, quickly finding her crouched over the toilet expelling the contents of her stomach into it. Without saying another word he pulled her hair back off her face, grabbing a hair tie of the side and roughly wrapping around her pony. His hand rubbing her back as the vile smell of pure tequila hit his nostrils. He was sure she was feeling pretty rough, the smell alone probably contributing to the amount of heaving she was currently doing. "It's ok" he whispered, her sobs hitting his ears.

Sitting back onto her heels she shook her head, a pain sigh leaving her lips as she did. Kelly suspecting the action had caused a pounding to surface deep within her skull. "I'm sorry" she whispered, her voice croaky and rough.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He assured, helping her to her feet. She was pale, really pale "are you ok to walk?" He asked a touch of joking with a touch of seriousness to his tone. She looked weak and like her legs might give way underneath her. His grip around her tightening as she took a unsteady step forwards. "Let's go sit down, I'll get you something to eat and some water."

Stella didn't object, the woman feeling much to weak and tired to argue with him. She wasn't really in the mood to talk, but she knew she needed to eat or at least drink something that wasn't alcohol based. Her legs moving slowly with him as the padded through the dark apartment, she had no idea what time it was, whether it was really late or really early. The darkness letting her know that either way it wasn't the time for them to be getting into a heavy conversation, she just hoped that Kelly felt the same.

"What do you want to eat?" He asked helping her settle down on the couch and pulling the blanket over her.

"Whatever is fine" she said, her eyes never meeting his.

"Toast?"

"Sure." She said shrugging her shoulders at him. "Do you have any ibuprofen?"

"Yeah I'll get you some you just stay there ok?"

"Ok" she replied resting her head against the back of the couch. Her whole body ached, she wasn't really sure how she'd got home or much past the first couple of shots. She remembered her phone ringing, and the voicemail, she remembered speaking with Hermann but after that everything was a blur. "Kelly" she said her slightly louder voice vibrating through her headache. "How did I get home?"

"Ah" he said placing a glass of water and two ibuprofen in front of her, the man turning to return to the kitchen before answering her question. She watched him spread some butter on the toast and return back to her, sitting down on the coffee table. "Well Herrmann called me and I came and got you. Do you not remember?"

"No" she paused taking the tablets and chasing them with a huge gulp of water before picking up the toast and ripping a piece off. "Last thing I remember is my phone ringing, and then I got this voicemail. After that I asked for a shot and well I have no idea how much I drank after that."

"From the looks of things I'd say you drank the entire bottle. By the time I got there you'd given up even using a glass."

Stella nodded her head but didn't say anything, the young woman obviously lost in her own thoughts. Kelly watched her as she slowly picked her way through the first slice, neither of the, saying anything for a long time. The man just about to open his mouth when her soft voice cut through the air, the sound so quiet that he almost missed it.

"He called me." Was all she said, tears brimming at the edges of her eyes.

"What?" Kelly asked, unsure if what he'd just heard was true.

"Grant, tonight he called me. He left me a voice mail."

"What did he say?"

"Not a lot" she shrugged, standing up from the couch and heading towards her jacket. Severide watching her carefully as she searched the pockets, sighing to herself when she couldn't find what she was looking for. "Where's my phone?"

"Oh I put it on the charger in the kitchen."

Stella nodded heading towards the small kitchen and grabbing the device. He saw her touch the screen and scroll a bit before the sound filled the air, the recorded voice telling her she had one message.

Stella baby, please come home.

Kelly's body tensed at the sound of the mans voice on the other end of the phone. "Stella when did he call?"

"Erm he's tried a couple of times, I've ignored him but this is the first time he left a voicemail. He's just trying to get in my head, I know that..." her words trailed off as she came to a sudden understanding. "Tonight I let him get in my head, when I heard his voice it was like he was right next to me... like he was there in Molly's, and I just wanted to forget for a little bit. Forget everything he's put me through."

"And that's ok Stella, this is nobody's else's journey but yours and nobody can tell you how to deal with it or how to move forward. I can ask that you speak to me or someone though. If things seem so bleak that you think drinking the best part of a whole bottle of tequila is the only way. Speak to us, reach out. I know we haven't spoken about everything that happened. Hell we've barely spoken since last week but I need you to know that you can speak to me any time of the day or night. I'm here. Right here and I'm not going anywhere."

His words brought tears back to her eyes, the brunette stood against the kitchen counters, her phone clutched tightly in her hand, the tears falling thick and fast as her body shook.

"I'm sorry I've shut you out" she cried.

"Sssh it's ok" Kelly said, his heart breaking all over again, the man seeing in that moment alone just how damaged she was, just how hurt she must have been by that man, that even a voice mail from him could invoke this reaction. That his minimal words could send her spirally so badly and so quickly.

"Listen to me" he said taking huge strides towards her, wrapping her tightly in his arms the moment he reached her. "None of this is your fault, he shouldn't even be contacting you. And once I've got you settled into bed I'm calling Antonio."

"No"

"Stella" he said pulling back shocked at her reluctance "there are procedures in place. He shouldn't be contacting you."

"I don't want to give him the satisfaction. If we call Antonio and he goes and arrests him he's going to know he's got to me. And I can't have him thinking he still has that kind of power over me. Please Kelly please." She begged.

Severide sighed loudly thinking over her request, "I don't like it but if it's how you want to deal with it ok."

"Thank you" she said leaning in and placing a soft kiss to his lips. He didn't even have time to register the action before she'd gone again, the woman walking towards her room, Kelly's eyes glued to the back of her unsure on what to do. Should he follow her? He didn't know so instead he stood routed to the spot, a stunned look resting on his face, his heart beating hard against his chest.

So Grant is trying to get hold of Stella and she's slowly unravelling. But at least she admitted that he'd contacted her...

I'm sorry this was a short chapter. The next one is almost written, I just felt like that was a good place to end. I know, I know, I'm cruel for leaving it on a cliffhanger again. But you guys know me by now... you know I like keeping you all in suspense of what's going to happen.

I'm looking forward to hearing what you all think? Let me know :)