Hey guys, I am so sorry about the delay between the last chapter and this one. If you read my other story 'Yes Sir' you already know a bit about the lifestyle myself and my husband lead. So last week almost straight after I uploaded the chapter for this story we got into it and I ended up losing all access to my devices for a week. So yeah I apoligise for that and will try my hardest to not have it happen again, but well I can't promise anything.
So without further a do here is the next chapter, I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you for all the kind words in your comments, please keep them coming. It means the world to me to read what you all have to say.
Thank you.
The apartment was bathed in darkness and silence as she padded bare footed towards the kitchen. The brunette woman having more difficulty sleeping tonight then she had, had in a while and she was hoping that some warm milk would help her get some much needed rest. The long hours she'd laid awake doing nothing to help calm her mind, or nervousness and the fact that Kelly has drifted off so easily wasn't helping. If anything she could do with talking with him right now, talking everything through with him. If she could say some of her thoughts out loud maybe they would quiet the noise playing through her mind, all the different ways that the break in at their apartment could have played out today. She knew it did no good to dwell on such things but she really couldn't help it. What would have happened if she'd been home today? What would have happened if they were both home together? If Grant had broken in and seen them there together, what would they have been doing? Would they have been cuddled up again? Kissing? She couldn't help but think about how he would have reacted to any of those scenarios. She couldn't help but think it would have be bad for all of them, that maybe this time one of them wouldn't make it out of the fight.
Where was he now? What was he doing? Why hadn't he waited for them to come home? Why did he just trash the place? Surely if he wanted to he could have broken in and waited quietly for them to return, he could have hidden somewhere and waited for her to be alone if that's what he wanted. So why hadn't he? Was he just messing with her? Or did he have something worse planned? And that, right there was the question she dreaded the answer to. What if he did have something worse planned? Before long Kelly was going to have to return to work, his suspension would be up and he'd return to doing three, twenty four hour shifts a week. Three days and nights she'd be alone until she was medically cleared and they still had no idea how long that was going to be. Sure her bones were healing ok, and there was no neurological reason that she wouldn't be able to return soon too. But she still had two weeks in the splints and Kelly only had nine days left on his suspension, there were at least five days that would be in a crossover section. Sure he'd only be working one of those days but that would give Grant enough time. He'd obviously been watching her, watching where she was going, where she was living. How else would he have found their place? If he'd followed her undetected once who was to say he wouldn't be able to do it again, even under the watchful eye of the intelligence unit?
"Stella?"
Her body tensed as she jumped round, her heart beating heavily inside her chest. "Jesus Kelly." She exclaimed, the woman grabbing her chest as she tried to take deep breaths.
"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I just woke up and you weren't there I was worried. And then I tried to get your attention a few times but you were somewhere else." He said, his eyes tracing up and down her tense body. "Are you ok? What are you doing out here in the dark?"
"I couldn't sleep so I decided to make myself some warm milk, but I suppose I didn't get that far." She said nodding her hand at the open fridge she was stood at.
"How long have you been out here?"
"I don't know, what time is it?"
"Quarter past three."
"What? You're kidding?" She asked shocked.
"No why?"
"I came out here about twoish. I've been stood here ever since." She admitted quietly, closing the fridge behind her.
"You not going to do the milk?" Kelly asked, his eyebrow raising slightly at the fact she'd still not taken it out.
Stella shook her head, "no. Erm can we talk?"
"Sure." Kelly said smiling at her, "you want some tea or something? I usually find it helps when I need to talk and you look like you need to discuss something more than tomorrow's plans."
"I'm good, you can get one if you want but I'm ok. I'll just go wait in the living room." She replied moving out of the kitchen and into the hallway.
Kelly knew that the days events were playing on her mind and ever since he'd told her that they hadn't found Grant her stress levels had only gotten worse. The woman falling extremely quiet after her shower and the conversation that had followed. But he had never realized she was struggling this badly, not until he came out here and saw her. Her body tensed so tightly, and her brow frowned deeply, it was only in that moment that he'd realized just how badly everything was affecting her.
He poured a mug of tea out for himself, and headed into the living room taking steadying breaths as he went.
"So what do you want to talk about?" He asked sitting down next to her.
Stella sighed, trying to decided what thought to deal with first, "I don't really know where to start.." she admitted quietly. "I've got all these different thoughts running through my head and honestly I don't know which one I need to talk about first. I just..." she paused, taking deep breaths before hissing out, "god Kelly. When's it going to end? When's Grant going to finally leave me alone? Let me get on with my life and realize that he has no more hold on me... but then I think he..." she stopped herself, unsure how her next words were going to be received.
"Come on Stella" Kelly said after a few minutes, placing his hand on her knee. The warmth from his palm against her skin instantly doing what it always did, the woman taking slow breaths once again as she allowed the feel of him to ground her.
"Have I really escaped from him? Is his hold on me really gone?" Severide said nothing, the man sensing the questions were rhetorical. "Because I don't feel like I'm free, I don't feel like he doesn't control everything I do, every decision I make. Each time I want to kiss you this voice in my head tells me 'no you're still married.' And I'm stick of it, I'm fed up of feeling like I'm a prisoner in my own head. That I'm second guessing every decision I make. Everyone tells me it's over! That I'm free of him now, that it doesn't matter what he thinks or feels..."
"That's because it's true." Kelly said carefully.
"But it's not" she yelled her frustration coming out full force. "Today he broke into our apartment he pushed us out of the only place I felt completely safe, the only place he had never put a negative on. And now that's tainted! Now we're sleeping in our friends spare room because our apartment is a crime scene. He did that to me, to us! He's done it again.. any sense of security I'd gained in these past few weeks it's gone. In a blink of an eye it's gone. I don't feel safe there, I don't feel safe anywhere. Not anymore." She pushed herself off the couch, her body moving backwards and forwards up and down the small corridor that separated them from the front door.
"He's out there somewhere! Maybe he's outside right now. Maybe he knows exactly where I am and he's just waiting, biding his time until I'm alone and he can get to me. Maybe he's waiting until the heat dies down and I began to feel safe again, like I can breath again and then bang he's going to come in a rip it all away again. And then what? What if I'm with Gabby, or Brett or what if I'm out jogging and he corners me? What happens then? We know he has no issue hitting woman, and as feisty as Gabriela Dawson is she hasn't come up against him in a rage. Trust me it doesn't matter how well built or tough skinned you are he can break you, if he wants to he can break you. What if he breaks in here? Matt and Gabby are trying to adopt, what if he foils their chances. I'd never forgive myself if they couldn't be parents because of him... " she took another sharp breath, her eyes piercing through him as she spoke "today could have been so much worse. If he had come through that door and seen us... together.. he would.. god I don't even know what he'd have done but I know it's not good."
She flopped down onto the couch again, her chest heaving and eyes shut tight. Kelly assuming she was trying to hold on the tears he was sure were brimming behind her pained expression.
"This is so messed up." She whispered, her voice barely audible.
"Stella I know you're scared, I know what happened today it feels like he's always going to have this hold over you. Like he's always going to be this person that overshadows everything you do. But you've got to believe that we can protect you, that Antonio and his team can and will do everything they can to prevent him ever getting near you again."
"But how do you know that? At some point you're going to have to return to work, and I'm going to have to start living my life. I can't go around with a police detail on me forever."
"No I know that, and I know it's not been easy, and that it's not going to just be fixed in a day. But Stella you have a army of people around you that are willing to protect you. Gabby and Matt they wouldn't have let us stay here if they were worried about this coming back on them. You need to let us help you and that means no more keeping voicemails, phone calls and text messages to yourself." He narrowed his eyes in on her, his voice suddenly very serious. He didn't want to get in a fight with her about it and he meant what he said when he told her he wasn't mad with her. But it was something that couldn't keep happening, she couldn't keep something so important to herself and he needed to know she understood that.
"So you are mad with me?" She asked, shaking her head. "You said you weren't."
"No I'm not mad with you. I understand why you didn't tell me, why you didn't tell anyone but I also need you to understand that it cannot happen again ever. What happened today could have been so much worse, you're right about that. We could have been at the apartment. Or worse you could have been there by yourself and he could have really hurt you again. We're lucky we weren't there, that the only damage done can be replaced or repaired." His voice was forcefully, the man expressing through his words just how important this was to him, how important it was for both of them. "It could have been worse, but it wasn't. But it could also have been avoided completely. If you had told me about the phone call I'd have made you go to the police, made you tell Antonio and then he wouldn't have been free to do anything. But you didn't, you kept quiet and he trashed the place, he's taken your sense of safety again. But Stella.." he took her face in his hands, his forehead touching hers as he spoke. "You allowed that to happen by allowing him to scare you. And I'm not mad, I'm really not. I'm concerned about how much control he still has over you, that without even physically being near you he once again silenced you with fear."
"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't think he was serious!" She snapped pushing him away. "He didn't silence me, I just didn't think he was so god damn stupid that he would come after me when the police were already on his back."
Kelly sighed, he knew that his words were dangerous but she needed to hear them non the less. "Stella look at me... I'm not saying that any of this is your fault.."
"You just did" she hissed, "not ten seconds ago you told me 'you allowed this to happen'.. Tell me Kelly how is that not you blaming me?"
"I'm not blaming you." he snapped back, the sight of her eyes widening making him take deep calming breaths. "Yes what happened today could have been prevented if you had told someone but that doesn't mean it's your fault. You're an amazing woman Stella, one of the best I've ever met. And one hell of a firefighter too. But you're so god damn stubborn and independent, it scares the hell out of me. What you've been through these past few years, what Grant put you through... You seem to think that it's your battle and no one can help you and that may have been true before a few weeks ago because no one outside of you and Grant knew what was happening but you've got help now Stella, you have us. Everyone at fifty one..." He paused taking her hands back in his, his eyes fixed on her lowered head, "you have me" he nearly whispered, the emotion he was feeling threatening to spill out if he spoke any louder. "You have me and I'm not going anywhere."
"I know" she replied her head slowly lifting up so she was looking in his eyes. "I know you are and I'm so grateful that I've got you, that after everything my messed up life has cost you, you're still here."
"But?" Kelly asked sensing there was a big one coming.
"But it is my battle, it's always been my battle and now I've pulled you into it."
"Listen to me because what I'm about to say is something you need to hear, and it's something I should have said a long time ago." He took a deep breath waiting for her to give him something in form of a reaction, once she'd given him a short nod he said, "Stella Kidd, you are the most remarkable person I know, and I know I just told you that but I'm never going to stop telling you, not as long as there is oxygen in my lungs. You are amazing and witty, and kind and everything I've ever wanted. The way Grant treated you... he's an animal, a real piece of shit and he never, not for even one second deserved someone as good as you. That's why he did what he did. Because he knew you were better than him, so he used scare tactics to keep you. But Stella you're free from him now and I promise you he will never hurt you again. He will have to get through me and everyone else at fifty one before he will get anywhere near you. That piece of shit is not worth your tears, and he certainly doesn't get the right to scare you to the point that you can't sleep or that you're so scared you don't want me to go back to work. He doesn't get that right and he should never of had it in the first place. I love you baby, more than anyone I have ever loved and I know we aren't together yet but one day I hope we will be and when that happens, no before that happens, I'm going to show you how you should have been treated all along because you are everything to me."
Stella sat for a few minutes staring at the man in front of her, the man that had just bared his soul to her and she to him. She didn't see what he did, she didn't understand why he loved her so much and why he was willing to risk everything to protect her but she knew it felt good and she knew she now more than ever wanted to show him that.
Kelly was completely caught of guard as her lips crushed his, his brain needing a few moments to catch up with what was happening but when it did he was more than happy to reciprocate the action, his hand moving to the back of her skull to hold her closer to him. Stella moving into his lap, her lips never leaving his as their hands roamed each others bodies. A soft groan coming from deep within her throat as his lips moved across her jaw line and to her neck, the woman completely lost in him and completely at his mercy.
Her hands tugged at the material of his shirt the soft peace of clothing preventing her from running her hands up and down his toned skin. Kelly pulled back understanding her desire, his eyes locked with hers as she lifted it up and over his head, the shirt being tossed aside as she ran her hands softly up and down his bare chest before he pulled her back in and took her lips in his. His hands moving up the back of her top, another groan leaving his lips when he realized it and her underwear were the only items of clothing she was wearing. His hands moving the material up and over her head as his lips attached to her nipple, the man expertly rolling the tender skin around in his mouth, grazing it slightly with his teeth every few minutes.
Soft moans left her lips while he focused his attention on her chest, his rough hands taking charge of the side not in his mouth. Kelly biting down roughly before his tongue soothed the area moments later, Stella's mind going blank as she allowed him to worship her body.
And then the sensation was gone, her eyes flying open to witness him smirking at her. "What's so funny" she asked.
"Nothing I'm just enjoying the view."
A soft giggle left her lips followed by a small squeak as he flipped them over, his body pinning hers to the couch as he moved his kisses down her body. Kelly leaving marks along her skin as he went.
"Kelly" she breathed out, "Kelly" she said again, the tone in her voice stopping him in his tracks.
"You ok?" he asked moving back up to her head.
"We can't, I want to but we can't not yet."
"I know, I'm sorry I got carried away." He said immediately regretting his actions moments earlier.
"Don't be. I didn't stop you and I certainly enjoyed a taste of what you have in you when it comes to it. But I can't right now. Not like this, not with everything that's going on... I'm sorry."
"Hey look at me, you never have to apoligise to me for not being ready or not wanting to. And I will never make you do anything you don't want to." He said, pushing himself upwards and sitting on the coffee table facing her. "You not being ready is not something I ever want to hear you apoligise to me for again ok?"
"Ok" she nodded, "Thank you." she said, placing a soft kiss to his lips.
Even before Grant it wasn't something she was used to, men had always wanted one thing out of her, ever since she was a teenager. She had a knack for choosing the wrong type of man, Grant being the tip of the ice berg into her number of bad choices but Kelly was different, he didn't seem mad at her or call her a tease or any of the other lines she'd heard over the years. He hadn't guilt'ed her into continuing, he'd stopped and he'd moved away. He respected her and her body and the feeling it left her with was amazing.
"Shall we go back to bed?" He asked, picking up her shirt and handing it back to her.
"I think that's a good idea" she nodded, looking at the clock up on the mantle piece that told her it was nearly five in the morning, the two of them having talked for a couple of hours since he'd found her in the kitchen. "Dawson and Casey will be home before we know it" she told him nodding towards the clock.
"They will... Do you want me to stay out here?" Kelly offered, unsure if she was still comfortable with their sleeping arrangements after what had just happened.
"No, you can come. Besides, if they see you out here when they get home they'll worry."
"Ok as long as you're sure."
"I am" she stated, taking his hand in hers and leading them back to bed. Kelly stopping to pick up his own shirt on the way.
Gabby pushed open the door of their apartment, the couple exhausted from the busy evening they'd had. The whole of fifty one being out most of the night at a fire, and none of them getting much rest even when they did return. The scene playing over in all of their heads.
"You want something to eat?" Casey whispered walking past the spare room, the silence in the apartment indicating that their unexpected guests were still sleeping.
"I'm just ready for some sleep" Gabby said, moving towards the bedroom. "You get something if you want I'll grab something later."
"Ok, sleep well babe. Love you."
"And you" she replied closing the door behind her.
Matt moved into the kitchen the man opening the fridge up to see what they had that he could eat, he was just pulling out the eggs when movement behind him caught his attention.
"Hey"
"Hi" he replied turning round to see his best friend in front of him. "Did you sleep ok?"
"Erm, yeah. We did once I finally got Stella to go to sleep."
Matt's eyebrows furrowed at his words. "She ok?"
"Not really no" Kelly said shaking his head. "Coffee?" He asked holding a mug up towards him.
"Please, do you want some eggs?" Matt offered, the man cracking a few into a bowl.
"Please."
The men worked around the kitchen in silence for a while, Kelly making the coffee and Matt the eggs. Kelly could see his friend was exhausted and he was almost positive that the look was matching for him.
"So how was shift?" He asked, sitting himself down on a stool.
"Busy, that call we got just before you left took several hours, it was the early hours of this morning before we got it under control. It was a rough one."
"Fatal's?"
"A fair few."
"Sorry man, that's never easy."
"Yeah I think sixty one took it harder than most of the house. Gabby especially, there were a couple of kids."
"Ah man" Kelly sighed, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck, "She ok?"
"She'll be ok" Matt said, not really answering the question. In truth none of them were ok, they had all been shaken by what had happened and the circumstances surrounding the fire were suspicious. The father of the family involved giving them all an on edge feeling while they worked the scene, even more so when they pulled his families bodies out.
"What is it?" Kelly asked watching Matt's reaction, the squad lieutenant knowing the look that had flashed across his friends face better than most. "Arson?"
"Yeah we think so, we also think we know who it was."
"What?" he asked, knowing he didn't need to say anything else for Casey to understand what he was asking.
"It was a apartment block, fire started in one of the upstairs apartments. When we got there, there was a guy outside and he was shouting about his family being inside. Turns out it was his apartment that was on fire, the kids we lost.."
Severide's eyes fell closed, "His?"
"Yup and his wife, there were a couple from next door and the couple underneath them too. Everyone else was ok, a few minor injures but this guy something just felt off. And when we pulled his wife out.. I don't know how to describe it. It was like he was revealed."
"That she was dead?" Severide question, the horrified look on his face deepening.
"Yeah, Gabby worked on her, saw a few bruises, but with the burns and everything it was difficult to see much. We gotta wait for the autopsies to come back but Gabby's she's adamant that it was intentional, that this guy did it."
"And what do you think?"
"I don't know, but I know my wife is rarely wrong. I'm just grateful Stella wasn't there to see it, after everything with Grant last night."
"No, no I agree. I'm sorry you guys had to witness that though. Are you ok?"
"I'm fine, tough skin." Casey assured him, serving the eggs up on to their plates. "So how's Stella doing, I know you said not great and that she didn't sleep to good."
"Yeah, I came out here at about three this morning and she was just stood there in her own world with the door to the fridge open in her hand. She said she came to get some warm milk but she never actually got that far. Then we talked for a bit, she's scared, really scared. And she blames herself for yesterday... I didn't really help there."
"What do you mean?"
"I kinda told her it was on her because she kept the phone call from us but I never mean't it like that.. it came out wrong." He added when he saw Matt's face change.
"Kelly it's a complicated situation, and it's going to scare her. Especially as they don't know where he is, but the police are outside and they are outside your place they'll get him."
"I know that, I'm just not sure he's finished with her yet."
"I think you're right but we can't tell her that."
"What do I do?"
"You protect her with everything you have, you keep doing everything you've been doing these past few weeks and together you'll get through it."
"I hope you're right.." he paused the memories of the early hours swarming his brain.
"What is it?" Matt asked, the man able to read his friend like an open book.
"What?"
"The look that just flashed across your face, what happened?"
"We errr" he checked over his shoulder to make sure they were still alone before turning back to Matt and answering his question, "so when we were finished talking this morning we kinda got a bit carried away.."
"You two?" Matt asked making some weird gesture with his hand to help ask his question.
"No but we were close. She stopped me and I pulled back straight away but I got the sense she wasn't used to being allowed to make that decision, and I know all about what Grant did... but this, it felt like it was more than that.. like.. I don't really know but like she's never been the one allowed to make that decision in previous relationships."
"Did you ask her?"
"No" he said shaking his head, "I'm not even sure if it's true or not but something just screamed that she wasn't used to guys listening to her."
"God"
"Yup, if that's true then no wonder Grant got away with so much. She's been having it done to her, her whole life maybe?"
"You gotta speak to her Kelly, that, that can damage someone. I know." Matt said speaking the truth they both knew needed to be said out loud. "Trust me I've seen it, experienced what it's like to have someone go through that."
Kelly knew he was referring to his baby sister, the woman having had a similar experience with her own ex husband and his mother, the older Casey having gone to prison for shooting the person that had done to her exactly what Grant had done to Stella.
"Just speak to her Kel, nothing will get resolved if you don't." He said standing up and taking his dishes to the sink, the man finally ready to join his wife in bed. "Look, everyone can see you two love each other, and I know you're both waiting until the divorce is done with but don't let Grant ruin her life anymore than he already has. She deserves more."
Kelly knew his friend was right, he needed to speak with her, he needed to understand why she thanked him and apologized to him in the same breath when he stopped. That wasn't a normal reaction, if someone told you to stop you stopped that's how he was brought up. And if his father had ever heard of him disrespecting a woman's wishes when she said no, even now he was sure his dad would whip him stupid for it. He was brought up to respect woman, to listen to what they said and treat them how they deserved to be treated. Granted his track record with sleeping around and one night stands was extensive and not the most respectful thing but each and every time that had been consented to by two adults and he would never cross that line, not now, not ever and certainly not with Stella. But they did need to speak about it. And sooner rather than later. They'd promised each other more transparency and that was going to start today. But first he was going to do something she deserved, something he was sure she'd probably not had in a while, if ever and that was bring her breakfast in bed.
Pushing himself off his stool he moved into the kitchen, the man quickly rinsing his own dishes before placing them into the dishwasher and turning back to the fridge. He knew from their shared breakfasts over the past few weeks and watching her at the station, what her favorites were and he intended on making them all. The man humming as he worked, and within twenty minutes he had a tray ready, on top of it was bacon, eggs, waffles, pancakes, some fruit, a coffee and glass of orange juice.
He walked carefully down the hallway to the guest bedroom, slowly pushing the door open with he thigh, his eyes finding her still fast asleep in the middle of the bed. The woman before him barely having moved since he'd untangled himself from her not an hour before. Smiling to himself he placed the tray on the side and moved towards the bed. His hand brushing the stray hairs out of her face as he lent down and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Stella stirred slightly a soft groan leaving her lips as she was pulled from her slumber. Her eyes flicked open to find his face resting over the top of hers, a small genuine smile on his lips.
"Good morning beautiful."
"Hey" she smiled back, pushing her head up a little and giving him a soft peck to his lips.
"Did you sleep ok?"
"I did thank you, what's that smell?" she said sniffing the air.
"I made you breakfast" Kelly smiled, the shocked look on her face only cementing the fact that it had been a long time since she was treated right.
"You did?"
"I did" he said moving to retrieve her tray, "All your favorites, and after you've eaten this I'm taking you out for the day."
"Again? Didn't we do that yesterday?"
"We did but I've got something special planned and I think you'll like it."
"You treat me like a princess" she smiled picking up a piece of bacon and biting some off. "Why?"
"Because you deserve it" He replied, pulling his shirt over his head and moving towards the door, "I'm going to go shower and get ready for our big day. Enjoy your breakfast." He said as he left the room, Stella flopped her head back on the headboard in a contented sigh. She didn't know what she had done to deserve someone like Kelly but she knew she did want him to be hers, one day. One day she'd have him, they would be together.
"How was your day out?" Gabby asked pouring them both another glass of wine.
"It was good, we didn't really do anything much, got some lunch, went and did some shopping and then we just walked by the water. It was relaxing though, just what I needed after yesterday."
"How are you feeling about that?"
"Better now that I spoke with Kelly. I was kinda freaking out for a little bit there."
"I bet, but you know you can stay here as long as you need to. Me and Matt don't care plus we get some girl time and the lads get to go have their man time." She joked.
"That is something I can drink to" Stella said clinking her glass with her friends.
The two women fell into an easy conversation about nothing and everything, the music playing in the background as they spoke freely with each other. It was just what Stella needed, a night to really let go and have some fun and although they hadn't moved further than the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine she was thoroughly enjoying the evening. That was until the door went, Stella's body immediately tensing as she looked between the door and Dawson.
"Stay here" Gabby ordered getting up and moving towards the door, the woman grabbing her phone as she went. She looked through the peep hole and sighed in relief "It's ok, it's just Antonio" she reassured her friend who was still frozen on the couch.
"Hey" she greeted opening the front door and hugging her brother, "were we expecting you?" she asked although she knew that neither of them were. The younger Dawson noticing that he had his police badge hooked to his belt, assuring her that this was anything other than a social call.
"Hi sis, sorry for the interruption but I needed to speak with Stella."
"Yea sure, she's just in the living room go through."
Gabby wasn't sure what would have brought her brother to her doorstep at this time of night and without calling ahead first but she was sure whatever it was wasn't going to be good news if he was delivering it in person at gone ten in the evening.
"Stella?" Antonio said softly as he approached, the woman's body still slightly tense as she stood up to greet him. "I need to ask you a few things, I'm sorry."
"It's ok" she said waving him off "what's wrong?"
"Nothing, just some things I need to clear up with you."
"Ok"
Antonio sat on the coffee table as the women retook their previous seats, "Have you heard from Grant since yesterday?"
"No why?"
"No reason, I just need to know. Has he called your cell at all today?"
"Not that I know of but I haven't really paid much attention to it though. Kelly and I went out for the day and I forgot it, and since coming back I've been with Gabby. I can check." She offered, "It's in the bedroom."
"Can you go get it please?"
"Sure" she nodded moving towards the bedroom, a confused look on her face. Why was he asking her if she'd heard from Grant had something happened?
"What's going on Tonio?" Gabby asked once Stella was out of ear shot.
The detective let out a huge breath of air the man aware he was going to have to tell them sooner or later. "We found Grant's car."
"Ok" she replied, still no the wiser to why that mattered so much or why he was in her apartment at this time of night.
"In the river Gabs, we found it in the river."
"Oh.."
"Yeah, we don't know if he dumped it there to throw us off, or if it was him at all but we figured if he was planning something he'd have tried to contact her. One last game of chase maybe, you know?"
"It certainly sounds like something he'd do to play with her."
"Yeah" he said running his hand across the back of his neck, his eyes flicking up towards the spare bedroom as Stella came back out. "Anything?" he asked.
"I've got a load of missed calls from a number I don't recognize and some texts, looks like there's a voicemail as well." She said passing the phone over to her friends brother. "Antonio what's going on?"
He shared a look with his sister, the younger Dawson shrugging her shoulders at him. He had to tell her, but until he saw or heard whatever these messages said he wasn't sure how to. "I'll tell you in a minute but I need to erm, look over this a minute ok?" he asked, standing up and moving into the kitchen.
"Gabby?" Stella asked, flopping down next to her. "Did he say anything?"
"He did, lets just wait for him to come back ok?"
"Ok" Stella replied, downing the rest of her glass of wine and reaching towards the bottle for a top up.
It wasn't long before Antonio returned to the living room the man holding a tense and concerned look across his face. The two women watching him as he walked slowly back towards them, a tense feeling settling in the air around them.
"Antonio?" Gabby asked as he sat down, the man only shaking his head at his sister. The woman feeling like someone had just hit her full pelt in the stomach as she looked from him to her friend beside her. The firefighter's face twisted into confusion and concern.
"Will someone please tell me what's going on and what it has to do with Grant?" she asked, the frustration she was feeling coming out loud and clear.
"Stella" Antonio started, "earlier this evening we got a hit on the bolo for Grant's car."
"Ok so you've caught him?"
"No, the bolo was called in by the CFD, when they attended a scene. We aren't sure of the full details but they attended a scene to reports of a car in the river. When they got there, they realized it was the car we had been looking for. There was nobody inside and at this time we don't know where Grant is or if he was even driving."
"But he could have been?" Stella asked, her voice a lot steadier than any of them expected.
"Yes he could have been."
"OK" she said standing up and moving towards the kitchen, the woman just needing so time to breath and digest what she'd just been told. If he had been in the car, it was more than likely he was injured or worse. It could be over, he could be dead but Antonio had said when they retrieved the vehicle nobody was inside, what did that even mean? Where was he if he wasn't inside? And why did Antonio want her phone, what did that mean? Had he called her? Tried to reach out? Was he feeling remorse for everything he had done? Was this suicide?
"You ok?" Gabby asked, coming up behind her. The sudden noise causing Stella to jump a mile. "Sorry I didn't mean to make you jump. I was just concerned, you didn't really say much in there?"
"I don't know what to say. Or do or think for that matter... God Gabby." she crumbled into Dawson's arms, her body expelling all of the pent up emotions she'd been holding on to ever since yesterday.
"It's ok" she reassured her, stroking her hand up and down her back. "Do you want me to call Kelly?"
"No, no it's ok. Let him have his night, I've already caused so many issues for him, I don't want to make anything more difficult."
"Stella what do you mean?" Gabby asked shocked but not at all surprised that her friend was once again blaming herself. "You've not done anything wrong."
"I don't want to keep screwing his life up Gabs, he deserves someone who isn't as complicated as me."
"Yeah I'm not sure he'd agree with that." She spoke honestly.
"What did the message say?" Stella asked suddenly, pulling back out of the embrace.
"I don't know Antonio hasn't played it."
"I want to hear it, whatever it says. I need to hear it." Stella insisted moving back into the living area. "Antonio" she spoke loudly, her voice making his head whip round quickly. "I want to hear what it said."
"I don't think that's a good idea" he said shaking his head.
"Antonio" Gabby said more softly, the paramedic having followed her friend back through. "Let her hear it."
"Gabs" he warned.
"Antonio please?" Stella pleaded, "I need to hear what he said.."
"Ok but just remember whatever he's done, or planning on doing it's not your fault." he told her offering her phone back to her.
"Fine" she said taking the device from him and sitting down.
"Stella, baby I just needed to speak to you but I'm thinking you don't need or want to speak to me. I'm sorry for what I did yesterday, I was mad. So mad when I found out you were living with him, that you have moved on so quickly. But I guess I deserve no less than what I've got, and what is coming for me. I won't survive prison baby, I just won't so I'm going to make this easier on us both. But before I go, before I drive this car into the river I need to tell you how sorry I am for everything. All the times I got a little rough with you, all the times I lost my temper, everything I did. I'm so sorry. I loved you, more than anything in this world, I just didn't show you in ways I should have. And I'm not trying to excuse my behavior, I'm not but a lot of it is because of the drugs. I need help, I needed help anyway. But there's nothing left for me now, you've moved on and I'm looking at a long stint in prison. I transferred our account into just your name, you can have everything. We didn't have a lot but what we did it's yours. I don't need it not where I'm going. I truly wish I had been a better person for you, that things had been different. I'm sorry. I'll always love you. Goodbye Stella."
Everyone sat for a while, nobody knowing what to say as the sound of Grant's words, maybe his final words bounced around the room. Stella allowing the silent tears to run down her face, the woman not even sure why she was crying. Was it relief? Was it sadness? Maybe it was a bit of both, but no matter how much she tried she couldn't stop the steady flow that was streaming down her face.
Somewhere beside her she could hear voices, who's she didn't know, she wasn't really focusing on them, the words they were speaking sounding just like a distant noise. Stella still lost within her own head, her own thoughts completely consuming her. Was it over? Was he dead? Or did he get out? Had he gone through with it? Were his words genuine, did he really regret everything he'd done? All the pain and suffering she'd endured under his hand, could he ever truly be sorry about that? When he had repeated it time and time again.
She wasn't sure how long she sat there, lost to everything going on around her. It wasn't until his voice filtered through that she snapped out of it, her watery eyes meeting with his sympathetic ones.
"You ok?" he asked again, his soft voice mixed with the feeling of his hand on her knee insistently grounding her.
"He.. he did it because of me" she managed to get out through her shaky breaths. "He might be dead because of me."
"No Stella, he might be dead because he couldn't face up to the consequences of his actions. That isn't on you."
"Why are you here?" she suddenly asked, her brain finally catching up to the series of events. "Weren't you at Molly's?"
"We were" Kelly said quietly, " but Gabby phoned us twenty minutes ago because she was worried about you. You weren't responding to her or Antonio and she was worried you'd completely shut down. Antonio just filled me in."
"You didn't have to cut your night short" she said, tears flooding her eyes again.
"I did, and to be honest I was about to come home anyway." He shifted his body so that he could pull her into him, the man wanting to give her as much comfort as possible while he spoke with the detective still waiting to finish what he needed to say. "It's ok" he reassured her quietly, pulling her with him as he shifted towards the back of the couch. "Antonio" he said, his head moving from her crying form to the man sat opposite him. "How long till we know if it was Grant driving or not?"
"To be honest Kelly, we may never know. The car was in the water a while, and any forensics will have been washed away during that time. It's a case of us searching for a body, and if one doesn't turn up we have to assume he is missing and presumed dead."
"And the case?"
"It'll be put on hold until a time we can determine his whereabouts or he is officially declared dead by the states attorney."
"And how long will that take?" Casey asked, the man sitting on the other couch with his wife in his arms.
"Officially I can't say, we have to present reasonable enough evidence to suggest that Grant died in the car, or the water. And that can take a while."
"How long Tonio?" Gabby asked again, knowing her brother had at least some idea of a timeline in these circumstances.
"A year, maybe two."
"A year?" Kelly nearly shouted, his loud voice causing everyone to jump, the man insistently regretting his outburst when he felt Stella's body begin to shake again. "Sorry, I'm sorry" he soothed, "A year Antonio, she can't have this hanging over her that long."
Everyone's eyes moved to the person he was indicating to, all of them fully aware that if this dragged on that long Stella would be stuck in limbo, not being able to move forwards or past the events that had lead to this moment. Grant having an unbreakable hold over her for the foreseeable future.
"And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen" Antonio told them firmly, "I will work non stop if I have to."
"Listen" he said, the man having all eyes on him as he spoke. "Neither I or anyone in the team believe he actually drowned tonight, damn I'd be shocked if he was ever in that car in the first place. My honest opinion, professionally and personally is that this was a game, an act to make us pull the police off your detail and make it easier on him to get to you. I think that the voicemail he left you was just his reassurance that we'd fall for it. That he would have the exact effect on you that his voicemail has managed to have. That you would blame yourself so much and feel so badly that when he shows up, you'll take him back with open arms." The room was silent as everyone thought over what he'd just said. It was true Grant liked to play games, especially when it came to Stella and what better way to make access to her easier than making everyone think you were dead, that you had committed suicide because you felt so remorseful about what you'd done.
If anything Antonio's time on the job had taught him that men like Grant couldn't feel remorse for the things they'd done. They couldn't see what they'd done as being wrong or improper. No he was sure that this was all a game and before long the man they were all hunting would turn up again and he could only hope that when that happened Stella had the strength to stand up for herself and not crumble at his feet.
"Stella" Antonio spoke softly, "I know all this is a lot but if you have any suspicion that he's tried to contact you from today onwards you need to tell us straight away ok?"
She nodded softly, her head never moving off of Kelly's chest. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, as she took comfort from him.
"I'll keep an eye on her" Kelly assured him, as Antonio stood up, telling them he better get back to the office and start work on proving this was a game Grant was playing.
"We all will" Casey added, the man standing up beside his brother in law and leading him to the door. "Thank you for coming over."
"No worries. Just call me if you need anything. All of you, Grant will have targets on the whole house but especially you four, keep your eyes open ok?"
"We will" Matt assured him, shaking his hand before he left.
The truck captain moving back into the living room where he was sure the four of them would be spending a lot of time tonight. The girls alone needing the extra comfort and company.
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