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Coffee Shops and Cameras

Chapter 23

I set the mug down on the table in front of Dad, my hand shaking slightly as he kept his eyes trained on Hikaru who sat in the chair opposite him. If looks could kill then I'd have a dead body to hide, because Dad's stare could strike fear into anyone's hearts.

"Thank you sweetheart" Dad said softly, not removing his gaze from Hikaru.

"It's that chai stuff you wanted to try" I said, doing my best to lighten the mood. Slowly, I took the empty seat between them. I looked from one man to the other. I don't think I'd ever seen Hikaru look more scared in his life.

"You shouldn't have spent so much money sweetie"

"I know, but I wanted to" Honestly the shopping trip was more for me than him, I'd always wanted to walk in there and pick up whatever I wanted without having to worry about how I'd afford bills. Some people went skydiving for a rush, I on the other hand picked the more expensive tuna instead of the store brand for my thrills.

"You sure you don't want anything?" I turned to Hikaru as he looked over at me, his posture relaxing slightly when our eyes met.

"No thank you" he said, clearing his throat.

Then it went silent again.

I sighed in exasperation.

"Dad" I hissed.

He gave me an innocent smile, "Yes?"

"Please just say something"

"You want me to say something?"

"Dad. Please"

He took a long sip of his tea, releasing the mug from his lips with a satisfied sigh. Then he looked back at Hikaru, and that killer death glare returned.

"Dad!" I snapped.

"Yes?"

"Hikaru and I were making out in the kitchen. Say something!"

Dad lowered his mug to the table, flicked an invisible piece of lint of his shirt, then looked at us both. Suddenly I felt like a teenager again, like the time he first found a pack of cigarettes in my coat pocket when I was 16.

"How long?" He asked calmly, "How long have you two been..." he trailed off, his pointer finger flitting from Hikaru to me.

"It's...a new development" I replied.

"A new development?"

I nodded, not really sure how to explain it. It wasn't like Hikaru and I were going steady or anything, we were just...wait...what were we doing? We were...fooling around? No, that didn't sound right. I've fooled around with guys before, and those instances never lasted longer than a night at a time. This thing with Hikaru though...I felt invested in it. I cared about him, I really cared about him. I didn't know what that meant yet but I knew it wasn't something fleeting. It wasn't some sexual fling, it was...a lot more than that...

I liked Hikaru. I liked him a lot.

But I couldn't exactly come out and say that. Hikaru had been with more women than I had fingers to count on. For all I knew, this was another sexual fling for him. It wouldn't be fair of me to put him on the spot by telling my father that I wanted...maybe...more.

Wait, since when did you want more?

Good question...

"This isn't a big deal Dad" I tapped my fingers on the table top anxiously.

He raised an eyebrow, "Not a big deal?" he leaned down and reached into his handbag, he rummaged around a little before pulling out what looked like a magazine and threw it down on a double page spread in front of me.

I dared myself to look down at it. But before my eyes could take in any of the contents, Hikaru's hand came slamming down on top of it, dragging it away and out of my line of sight.

"Hey! I-"

Hikaru shook his head at me, as if he were silently telling me that it was something I didn't want to see. Even though I really really did.

"Ranka" he exhaled, looking straight at my father, his eyes confident and determined, "Could I speak to you alone for a minute?"

Wait, huh? "Hika-"

"Of course" Dad answered him with a reserved smile. Hikaru nodded back, his lips forming a tight line as if he weren't expecting Dad to agree.

I looked from one man to the other, who had both fallen silent and stared back at me - obviously waiting for me to excuse myself from the room. I grumbled to myself.

"Fine" I huffed, "I guess I'll leave the men to it"

"Don't be like that sweetheart" Dad patted my arm.

I growled under my breath and rose from my seat, beginning the short journey to my bedroom, "Fucking high and mighty bullshit...it's not like I have opinions and important shit to say...stupid fucking-"

"We can hear you darling, watch your language"

"I'm going, I'm going..."

I took one last look back at them, noting the almost apologetic look from Hikaru. Then I closed the door and reached into my pocket, pulling out my neglected pack of cigarettes and cheap lighter.

"Bloody men" I mumbled. Then opened the window to stare out, and wait to be called back in.

"You ready to head home?" Hikaru stood in my bedroom doorway, looking over at me as I sat on the window sill looking out at the dank and derelict view. I stubbed out my fourth cigarette of the hour and looked over at him, noting the forced smile on his face. Immediately I wanted to quiz him on the talk, to find out what they'd been talking about, but at this point it was early evening, and my stomach was rumbling for whatever dinner Olivier was preparing back home.

Back home?

I almost laughed to myself. I guessed that's what the Hitachiin house had started to feel like since I'd been there for almost a month now.

"Everything okay?" I asked Dad as I followed Hikaru back out into the kitchen.

Dad smiled brightly, his whole demeanour worlds away from how it had been an hour ago.

"Everything is great sweetheart" he beamed, pulling me into a rib crushing hug, "I'm sorry I overreacted. It's been a hell of a day"

I blinked in confusion, "Oh...kay..."

"You know you really shouldn't have gotten me all this food" he chuckled, "But thank you"

"Uhh..." my mouth bobbed open and closed as I was taken aback by the casual and calm way he was talking. Surely things should still be awkward, "I...wanted to, it's not fair that I've been eating so well and you've been stuck here with the same packaged noodles"

"Hey! You know how much I love those noodles!"

I laughed, "I guess they are pretty good"

"Still, I'm looking forward to whatever we're feasting on tomorrow night"

"Tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Yes. Hikaru has invited me to dinner" Dad grinned broadly and glanced over my shoulder at Hikaru with a look of almost...adoration?

Okay, now I'm really confused.

Has Hikaru brainwashed my father?

"Really?"

Dad nodded, "It was all his idea"

"It was?"

Hikaru chuckled, "Don't look so surprised"

"But..."

Last time Hikaru invited us to dinner he had to be forced and threatened by his mother...

A small smile touched my lips. Wow that's really...sweet of him.

We said our goodbyes then Hikaru and I bundled ourselves back into my banged up mini. I glanced over at him as I drove the short distance back to the estate, studying him as he kept his eyes trained ahead on the road. He seemed occupied by something, and it made me wonder what he'd wanted to talk to Dad about. Had he explained what was happening? I doubted it. When Dad found out about my first kiss in high school he lost his fucking mind, if he found out Hikaru and I were sleeping together without a marriage certificate to justify it – there was no way he would have accepted a dinner invitation with a smile.

"What did you say to my Dad?" I tried to keep my voice casual, as if I were asking the most common and non-prying question in the world.

Hikaru's expression gave nothing away, "You know what I said. I invited him to dinner"

"And you had to be alone to ask that?"

"I asked for a private conversation did I not?" his tone was beginning to sound irritated, "If I told you what was said that would defeat the 'private' element"

"I'm allowed to be curious"

"You call it curious, I call it nosey"

"I just want to know if the subject matter could result in you going missing under mysterious circumstances"

"Mysterious circumstances?"

"That being - my father killing you and burying your balls in the yard"

Hikaru sniffed in amusement, "If you're worried that I told your Dad about our night in the hotel you can relax. I'm reckless, not suicidal"

I heaved a sigh of relief. At least I didn't have to worry about explaining that to my Dad, but it still left about 100 other questions unanswered.

"Should I be worried?" I chewed my lip, staring at the horizon as the sun began to disappear.

I felt Hikaru turn to me, his eyes penetrating me with such a strong intensity that my knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. Then I felt his hand rest delicately on my knee, and the breath I'd been holding was finally released.

"No" he said, his tone calm and firm, "What I told your Dad is nothing you need to worry about"

I inhaled sharply. Could I even trust Hikaru? I felt like an asshole for even considering the question, but honestly, could I?

I suppose he'd never given me a reason not to. Even when he was treating me like crap he was straight to the point. He never told me anything he thought I wanted to hear, he always told me what was on his mind and reacted accordingly. Would it be so hard to assume that even with our progressed relationship that his honesty would still be the same?

It was funny, why did feeling closer to him make me worry that the honesty would diminish?

I sighed as we pulled into the driveway, the large iron gates automatically closing behind the car, "Okay. I trust you"

"Oh jeeeeesus" I spoke into my palm as I scrolled on my phone.

Hikaru rolled onto his side, wrapping his arm across my bare stomach, "Stop looking at it" he grumbled, "Come back to me"

"I just...need to..." my words trailed off as I read the words in the article. 'Lover', 'Fling', 'Prostitute', 'Hooker'...it felt like I was being bullied with an audience of millions, "This is such a mess"

"And it's bullshit speculation" Hikaru huffed, "It's a tabloid. It's literally published rumours"

"Dad saw this. He read this"

I glanced at Hikaru who laid beside me in bed, the sheets hanging low on his bare muscled abs. I gulped and felt my cheeks flush before turning away again.

"He's a smart man" he chuckled, "He knew there was more to it. He knew the only thing reliable was the photo, the words were just speculation"

I looked at the photo again.

Hikaru and I sitting close at the bar, his hands pulling me into him, our lips connected and eager. I grimaced – imagining what Dad must have been feeling when he first saw it. I closed my eyes and lifted the sheets over my head.

"Hey" Hikaru laughed, "You're being an idiot. You know that right?"

"Wow, thanks" I murmured, "Dad saw this"

"He did, yes"

"When I was in high school, he found out I kissed Lee Rai behind the cafeteria and he cried"

"You're his child. Of course he's going to worry" Hikaru pulled the sheet down so I could see him. He hovered above me with a smirk, "Are you really going to stress over this?"

I nodded, "Yup"

"Are you that embarrassed?" his smirk fell a little, his expression becoming a lot less amused.

"Embarrassed?"

I furrowed my brow as he looked down at me. Slowly, he raised his hand to smooth the hair from my forehead. His eyes darted from my eyes, to my lips, to my nose, to my chin – as if he were evaluating every inch of my face. The smirk was gone, and in it's place was a reserved line.

"Embarrassed that you're rumoured to be in a relationship with me...embarrassed that people can see you and I together..." his voice was quiet, lacking the usual cocky confidence it always had.

I stared at him, feeling a rush of emotions bombard me, as if I'd been ploughed down by a freight train.

Was he...hurt?

I didn't know what to say. Suddenly I felt like...a complete piece of crap...to put it politely.

I shook my head silently. No, I wasn't embarrassed. Well...I was but...not because it was Hikaru. It was because my face was all over the internet. Hikaru could have been anyone else and I still wouldn't have felt good about having photos of me making out with them online. Did Hikaru really think that I was ashamed of people thinking that he and I were together? I couldn't give a shit what people thought about me and the men I spend my time with. What I gave a shit about was people making up lies about my character. If my Mom had been alive and able to see these journalists calling me a hooker, she would be broken.

"It's not like that" I said, "I just don't like being talked about. My embarrassment has nothing to do with you being involved"

Hikaru cocked his head, "You sure?"

I nodded, "Look Hika...I li-" I like you... "I like what's happening between us, but it's not anyone else's business. All these articles are...pressuring"

Pressuring was definitely the word. Some of these articles were calling us a couple when in reality Hikaru and I were only just friends. I couldn't offer him anything more, and Hikaru had been very clear about his attitudes towards love and relationships. I didn't want all these tabloids to ruin this thing between us by labelling it as something we just couldn't handle. Besides, I highly doubted that Hikaru wanted to date me like these tabloids were speculating. He was a celebrity model for a world famous fashion designer, and I was an ex-barista at a coffee shop. He could have literally anyone. If he were seriously going to date someone I knew wholeheartedly that he wouldn't choose me.

My chest stung a little at the thought.

Ouch.

"Can I talk to you about something?" he breathed. He moved closer, settling himself inbetween my legs. We hadn't gotten re-dressed after the hour we had spent beneath the sheets of his bed. Even though it had only been 2 days since we'd last been together, I still had the 'first time' nerves when he'd begun to slowly undressed me. I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks as I recalled the night. Hikaru snapped his fingers in front of my face, "Woman focus"

I blinked, "Huh?"

He rolled his eyes, his elbows resting either side of my neck so we were eye to eye. Absent-mindedly I lifted my leg to stroke my foot down the side of his bare calf, my knee brushing across his hip. Hikaru groaned deeply, his jaw tensing, "Stop distracting me"

"I'm not doing anything" I spoke innocently.

"You are and you know it"

I grinned back childishly.

"You've got a dangerous look in your eye" he smirked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

"If I recall correctly, I believe I had something to say- ugh fuck" he trailed off with another gruff groan as I hooked my legs around his waist and pulled him flush against me, his head fell to my chest, "Dangerous little tease" he hissed.

I stifled a laugh. Messing with him was way too fun.

"Right, that's it" Hikaru grunted. Suddenly his arms wrapped around me and I was hoisted onto his lap. I let out a surprised yelp as I found myself sitting face to face with him, my naked chest pressed to his, my legs still snaked around him, "Mmmm much better" he hummed approvingly.

He planted a firm kiss on my lips and I felt his amused smile.

"You ruined my fun" I pouted.

"Oh did I now?" he raised an eyebrow and traced his thumb along my lower lip, "I have no problem with multi tasking. I can talk, and you can slowly slide down on my-"

I covered his mouth with my palm, cutting his sentence short, "I have a feeling whatever you're going to say might ruin the mood"

"Ah, so that's why you're trying to throw me off. Worried I'm gonna say something you don't like?"

"I mean, it's fairly likely"

It was his turn to pout, "O' ye of little faith"

I exhaled, "Fine, what is it?"

"Wow, at least attempt to sound optimistic" he grinned wickedly, "So...I was thinking, this sneaking around at home is getting a little...impossible. I mean, I hate having to wait to get you alone to do this..." he kissed me softly, "and besides, Kaoru knows and I'm pretty sure Mom-"

"Wait" I held up a finger to silence him, "Your Mom knows?"

He cocked an eyebrow, "Do you seriously think my Mother doesn't check up on me online?"

I felt my entire body ignite and turn a deep shade of red. I covered my face in shame, "Oh god"

"Here comes the embarrassment again" he sighed.

"Stop" I groaned, "It-it's not like that. She's my boss...my goddamn boss knows I'm fucking her son" I couldn't even look at him. Jesus, this was a mess.

Why are you so surprised?

Did you honestly think this thing between you two would always stay private?

She was bound to find out.

It was true. I knew deep down mine and Hikaru's ventures would come out in some form. I guess I just thought I'd have more time to mentally prepare for it.

So naive.

"Look at me" Hikaru said, his tone laced with tension. His fingers latched around mine and pulled my hands away from my face, forcing me to look at him once more. His painfully beautiful face stared back at me, that mused post-sex hair hanging over his forehead coupled with those hooded eyes that penetrated mine - made my body respond in ways I was almost fascinated by, "You're not...ashamed of this...are you?"

His question carried so much weight, it made me freeze where I sat.

I took a moment to study him, looking past that slipping facade of confident arrogance he seemed to wear as a proud accessory.

Jesus, I was hurting him wasn't I? Did my approval of us really mean so much to him? Did he really...care?

"No" I said honestly, "Not in the slightest. But...I thought...I mean...aren't you?"

He made a face that told me he didn't fully understand, "Me? Ashamed of us?" he questioned, "How could I be? I mean, look at you. Do you really have no idea how out of my league you are?"

I blinked, and felt myself being thrown back as if a car had hit me just from the sheer shock of what he'd just said, "Wait. Roll back" I gaped, "You think I'm out of your league? You? Hikaru Hitachiin? The rich mouthwatering model?"

"But I'm a piece of shit" he chuckled, "And you...you're...amazing. The first time I saw an article calling you my lover I felt like the most smug asshole in the world. You're a smart, sexy, selfless and genuinely interesting person. I could only dream about being put in the same category as you"

His words unscrambled through my mind, trying to make sense of them. But no matter how much I tried to decipher them, I came up short. It just didn't make any sense. I'd seen numerous articles about him leaving hotels with supermodels and actresses, rumours of relationships and love affairs with women who made me look like a bucktoothed rodent in comparison. And yet he was amazed that these journalists would pair us together? Like I was some unobtainable goal he'd managed to somehow score?

"But back to my original point" he cleared his throat, "I don't want to hide it here. Not in my home. If there's one place I can feel comfortable being just me, it's here. And as far as I'm concerned, you're mine, and I think I should be allowed to exercise the right to touch you and hold you whenever I want in my own house"

"You want to be able to touch me in front of your mother?"

"Christ woman don't put it like that! I mean, if I want to rest my hand on your back...or smooth those crazy unbrushed locks out of your eyes...or kiss those sweet full lips...then I should be able to do it"

I fixated on the conviction in his eyes, completely speechless.

He really did care...I wasn't sure how deeply but...he cared. About me. And he wanted to show it in his home. His safe space. I didn't know what to say.

Should I ask him what...we were? Where this was heading?

Don't be stupid Haruhi. Do you want to send him running for the hills?

This is casual, physical, comfortable...nothing more.

It took me a second to realise that my heart was racing and my breathing was becoming ragged with desire. His words had hit me so deeply. I knew it had taken him a lot of guts to be so open and honest with me, and the idea of being so genuine around his family made my chest swell with the admiration he made me feel.

I'd never been so attracted to someone in my life.

As if my body was on autopilot, I found my lips colliding with his, my hands diving into his hair to pull him as close to me as possible. I felt such a primal need to claim him, to show him how he made me feel, to give him everything I had.

"I'm guessing...that's a yes?" Hikaru's laughing voice was muffled by my unrelenting kisses. His hand then threaded into my hair and his mouth opened eagerly to me, his tongue meeting mine. His other arm wound around my waist, lifting me slightly so he could position himself at my entrance.

When I lowered myself down on him, adjusting to his size as I accepted him in, I felt my body respond as if it were claiming back a missing piece of itself. I rose and fell on his lap, revelling in the deep groans and grunts of pleasure he released, all the while keeping his eyes locked to mine.

"So soft...so hot..." he hissed, his fingers digging into my pliant flushed skin. He looked so serene, his eyes swimming in bliss and lust as we connected over and over again and our releases neared.

"Hika" I gasped, cupping his cheeks in my palms to connect our gazes.

He stared back with dark, animalistic eyes, giving me a look that said he owned me. And honestly I felt it. Like the only man who had ever touched me and ever would was him. My body was made for him, to hold him, to pleasure him, to...love him..? I let out a needy gasp, my fingers turning into claws as I braced myself on his shoulders.

After a while I could feel that delicious ache teetering on the edge of climax. I kissed him again as I contracted and moaned, my back arching and hips writhing - wanting to make the pleasure last as long as possible. Hikaru followed suit, his groans muffled by my lips. His body shook and tensed for several long moments, then he held me there against him. We revelled in the feeling of bliss surrounding us, then relaxed slowly, our bodies slumping against one another with heavy breaths and heaving sighs.

"You've ruined me for all other women Ms Fujioka" he panted.

I laughed tiredly and my lips curled into a smile as I rested my forehead to his, "If it's any consolation, you ruined me for any other man the moment you kissed me"

"I believe you kissed me first"

"No, you kissed me"

"And you loved it"

I bit my lip, "I did. In fact..." I kissed him slowly, savouring the softness of his lips, "I always do"

A smile lit up his face, and my heart began hammering at the sight.

HIKARU

Hikaru stared down at the sleeping form draped across his chest, her hair fanned out in an array of tangles and a small smile lit up her beautiful face. It must have been about 1 in the morning, but he couldn't sleep even if he tried, he just couldn't tear his eyes away from her. And that scared the shit out of him.

"What are you doing to me babydoll?" he whispered, trailing the back of his hand down her cheek. She let out a satisfied hum and snuggled into him further. A sharp ache shot through his chest as he watched her. She really had no idea how breathtaking she was. Hikaru had spent his life surrounded by stunning models, women whose careers were to look unattainably perfect - but not one of them held a candle to Haruhi. Hikaru wondered how it had taken him so long to realise it himself.

As he watched her lying there he was starting to question what was happening between them. At first it had been lust driven, an obsession to claim and control her, to possess her and take what he wanted. But after that night in the hotel, where he had gotten exactly that, something dramatically changed. It felt like the whole situation had flipped. Because now instead of Hikaru being in control, it was Haruhi who possessed him. He would do anything for her now, like a fucking puppy dog...

Oh how the mighty hath fallen...

A barely audible knock interrupted his thoughts, and he looked across the dark room to see his bedroom door opening slowly and his brother standing there in the threshold. Kaoru studied the scene in front of him and smiled.

"Don't you two look cosy" he whispered.

Hikaru put one finger to his lips, then looked back at his sleeping beauty, who hadn't stirred in the slightest.

I swear she could sleep through an earthquake.

Slowly, he inched from the bed, making sure to settle Haruhi onto his pillow. Her arms immediately snaked around it, as if she were replacing him with it.

Great, now I'm jealous of a pillow.

"What's up?" Hikaru asked quietly as he pulled on some sweats. He walked out into the hallway with him and shut the door behind, taking one last glance back at the mesmerising brunette cradled in his bed.

There was only a faint glow from the huge window in the main staircase, it made the house feel like one of those old haunted houses in a Shelley novel.

"This" Kaoru held up his phone, the screen was illuminated with the same tabloid crap Haruhi had been glued to all evening.

"Yeah, we saw that"

"Did you see what they're calling her?"

Prostitute...hooker...sex worker...

Hikaru nodded bitterly, "I did"

"Are you not going to make a statement?"

"Why the hell would I? It's no one else's business"

Kaoru rolled his eyes, "You're so clueless sometimes" he grumbled, "These stories aren't like the ones that only talk about you. This affects Haruhi. You may be able to ignore the shit being said but she's not used to this"

"I know that but as long as we know its bullshit then what does it matter?"

Kaoru sighed, relaxing back against the wall, arms folded, "Can you honestly tell me that Haruhi isn't getting hurt?"

Hikaru opened his mouth to respond, but the image of Haruhi sat in bed beside him scrolling through the articles, biting her nails with a look of pain on her face flashed to mind.

Was she really getting hurt by this? It was only words, just rumours made up to sell stories...but still, the things she was being called...the nasty comments being posted...they were brutal. Hikaru had years of experience being called every name under the sun and being accused of just about everything, he was so used to it he barely internalised the words anymore. But Haruhi was an innocent, she'd never experienced anything like this, and because of Hikaru she'd been thrown in head first.

And yet the only thing he'd been worried about was Haruhi not reciprocating his feelings towards her.

You're such a piece of crap.

"You should make a statement. Clear things up. At least then the stories won't be slanderous" Kaoru sighed.

"How can I make a statement when I don't know what's happening? It's just sex, Haruhi would end my life if I got this shit published"

"Are you seriously still trying to convince yourself that it's just sex" Kaoru raised an eyebrow.

Hikaru made a face, not understanding the remark, "It works for us"

"Hika I've known you for you your entire life and I've seen everything when it comes to women. I've heard them leave at midnight, I've seen them bundled into cabs at 7am, they never come back and you never talk about them again, not only that but you always look like you regret spending the night with them" Kaoru's tone was exasperated, he threw his hands up, "You said you and Haruhi didn't even sleep together last night and yet you were making her breakfast this morning with a shit-eating grin on your face like you'd won the lottery. And before the other day I hadn't once had to break up a fight all because some guy looked at a women you wanted. We both know this thing you have with Haruhi means so much more than just sex"

Hikaru looked away from his brother, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"When Haruhi packs up her bag in a few days and goes back home...are you just going to let her vanish? Because once this interview is done, she won't need to see us anymore, she can just meet Mom at the office and work from there. She has no obligation to come back here, not unless there is more going on between you two. Not unless you give her a reason to"

Hikaru's hands balled at his side, "She'll come back, she...she wouldn't just vanish" She wouldn't. Hikaru hadn't the first clue as to why he knew that, but he did.

Maybe you just think that because you couldn't .

"You need to work this shit out Hika, it's not fair on Haruhi. She shouldn't have to see her name being dragged through the dirt. You need to make a statement that removes speculation that paints her in a bad light"

Hikaru never released statements in response to tabloids, he'd never seen the point of it, all it did was add fuel to the fire. But he'd never found himself in the position where he'd been photographed more than once with a woman he was interested in...Well, aside from Seika. But she'd lived for the attention. He winced as her face sprung to mind, he really needed to stop accidentally putting Haruhi in the same box. Just because Seika was a commoner who was chasing status, didn't mean the same could be said for Haruhi. She didn't like the attention, she didn't like people taking her photo or talking about her.

"I can't make a statement saying she and I are just sleeping together" Hikaru murmured, "Haruhi would never trust me again"

"But you don't have to say that. Tell them the truth" Kaoru replied.

"But that is the truth"

"Hika you like her. In fact, I'm pretty sure you more than like her. Just tell them you want a level of privacy with your new relationship"

Hikaru's heart began to beat erratically, causing that uncomfortable ache he was starting to get used to.

New relationship? The idea of proposing a relationship to Haruhi scared the crap out of him. Not because he didn't want one with her. But because he wasn't good for her. She wanted the house, the husband, the little shits running around trashing the place. She wanted love. Hikaru didn't know what that was. So how could he give her that? She deserved the world, and Hikaru could only offer himself. And that wasn't good enough.

"You're going to have to do it regardless of whether you want to or not, your interview is in a few days. Do you really think Benio won't ask about Haruhi?"

Hikaru ran a hand through his hair, his head beginning to thump with stress, "I won't know what to say" he breathed, "I can't risk making it worse. She'll hate me" the fear of Haruhi turning her back on him was probably the most agonizing feeling Hikaru could imagine. The idea of her not wanting to see him made him feel physically sick. His chest burned as he took a step back to brace himself on the banister. Kaoru watched him with an almost identical pain in his eyes.

"This is real isn't it?" he whispered, "You're really hung up on Haruhi aren't you?"

Hikaru's knuckles turned white, his eyes squeezing shut. Slowly, he nodded, knowing it was true. He'd always surrounded himself with women, all shapes and sizes, he was never stuck for choice. But Haruhi was the first and only one he truly cared for. Even Seika during the best of times dimmed in comparison. Because Haruhi was special, Haruhi made him feel things he'd never felt before. She made him happy just by being with him, she excited him, encouraged him, she could even make him forget his own name with just her laugh. And he trusted her. He never trusted anyone. She made him feel safe...nurtured...maybe even loved?

Is that what love was supposed to be?

"I can't lose her..." the words left his lips before he could stop them, "She...she makes me a better man..."

Kaoru offered a small smile.

He slowly stepped closer, pulling his brother in for a comforting hug, a hug like they used to have when they were kids, before everything changed. Hikaru exhaled.

"Talk to her" Kaoru said, "I'm sure you can work it out together. Haruhi is pragmatic, I'm sure she'll help you both come to a conclusion"

Hikaru nodded, still completely unsure of the way his life seemed to be heading. All he could hope for was that Kaoru was right, and that they could fix this and stop the media harassment that was hurting Haru. He should have recognized it sooner, she'd been hurting all this time.

And it wasn't like she didn't tell him either, he was just too stubborn to listen.

After a few more minutes and another hug, they both returned to their rooms, opening and closing the doors as quietly and gently as possible. After the long conversation they'd had, Hikaru had almost forgotten that the subject matter was still stretched out under his bed sheets, the pillow she'd been cradling now hanging out of one hand off the edge of the bed. He chuckled to himself, trying to work out the logistics of how he was meant to climb back in without waking her. In the end all he could do was choose the side with slightly more space, and wind his body around her. He laid pressed to her back, his right arm wrapped around her waist. The sweet scent of her hair intoxicated him, and suddenly all the fear and apprehension he'd felt back in the hallway disappeared, until the only thing he felt was her closeness.

She murmured something sleepily.

"Shhh" he soothed, pressing his lips to her shoulder, "Keep dreaming babydoll"

"Mmmhmm" she hummed, "Dream of you..."

Hikaru grinned, "That's right beautiful...dream of me"

Hello my lovlies! I'll tell you what, I loved writing this chapter! Things are getting super romantic and oh my god are things spicy! I hope you all love this chapter as much as I do! If you want to contact or follow me via twitter, find me with the user name - YulisanWrites.

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Love y'all!

Yuli xx