Hey everyone, I'm back! This is being posted tonight instead of the morning as I won't be around tomorrow much. I really hope you enjoy it :)

It was really great to get away with the family and disconnect from the rest of the world for a while, it was exactly what we needed and was followed by a crazy exciting time for our kids as they've just celebrated their birthday :).

I hope you are all keeping well and have had time just for yourselves recently, in these crazy times its more important than ever to take that moment for yourself and the ones closest to you.

Anyway enough with that.. on to the next chapter. Stella's beginning therapy.. that's a good thing! Or is it?

He was my best friend.

She looked around the small office area, Stella taking in the surrounding area for the first time, her hand holding tightly onto her boyfriends as they sat in near silence.

It was a silence that had been surrounding them since the minute they left shift this morning, apart from the brief conversation in the car, she'd barely uttered two words to him or anyone. Even when they arrived it was Kelly that had given her name to the receptionist to get her check in.

In the twenty minutes they'd been sat here, she'd filled in the paperwork, answering all the questions on the sheet in front of her as honestly as she could but she had yet to speak. The nervous energy radiating off her body, while Kelly tried everything he could to keep her calm and grounded. His one hand clutched in hers while his other held her into his side as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

She'd been lost in her head, and he knew that it was probably best not to try and push her. He only hoped that this appointment could help her slightly. He knew a lot of the way she was acting was to do with the shift they'd just experienced. Every single one of them processing it at a different rate, and even he and Casey were struggling. It wasn't often that a call sat with them this badly, but the events of yesterday had stirred up many different emotions for the members of fifty one. All of them knowing that this was their first bad loss since Otis. And Kelly knew that if any of them knew how true that was it was Stella.

He'd seen the fear in her eyes when she'd handed her patient off to the paramedics. He'd seen how her eyes had gone straight to Casey to make sure he was okay. And from talking with the truck Captain later on he knew the full details of what had occurred while they were making their way out. He knew that Stella had probably associated those events to the ones that had taken her friend from them. That watching as that beam came down and the house started to buckle around them had made her see just how close it was from them getting out and the building flashing over, and it had definitely stirred up memories for her. Memories she had so desperately tried to avoid and bury.

"Miss Kidd" the receptionist calling her name snapped him out of his thoughts. Stella not even flinching at the sound of her name, it was like she hadn't registered anyone had spoken.

"Babe" he said softly, squeezing her hand.

"Yea" she barely spoke, her eyes snapping up to him.

"They're calling you."

"Oh" she replied looking towards the woman sat at the desk. "Are you.. can you.."

"Of course" Kelly replied, he knew what she needed without her even having to say it. The man standing up next to her as he picked up their belongings. "Come on" he smiled, leading her towards the door.

The room they entered was bright and airy, there was a large couch against one of the walls, a soft rug centred in the middle of the room. A wall full of different stress relief products, ranging from cats cradles to the more common stress balls. Throws, cushions, beanbags littered the corner. Kelly gathered so the patient could decide where they were more comfortable with no pressure.

Stella headed straight for the couch, the woman sitting stiffly on the edge of it. Her eyes darting around the room, as Kelly came to sit next to her. His hand went straight to her knee, the weight of it against her acting like a grounding mechanism for her. He had a way of always calming her with one small touch, something that no one else had ever been able to achieve.

Slowly she glanced up at him, her eyes already shining with unshed tears.

"You okay?" He questioned gently.

"I'm scared" she admitted softly, Kelly nodding in understanding.

"I know, but I'm right here. Anything you need to talk about, do not be afraid to say it. We're here to help you babe."

"Thank you"

"What for?"

"Coming here with me" she smiled, "I know you don't much like doctors, and shrinks you hate even more."

"I'd do anything for you, I think that's already been proven." He smiled back. The two chuckling softly at the underlining meaning behind his words.

Their quiet moment was interrupted by the door opening and a middle aged woman walking in. She had mouse brown hair, her eyes a deep green. She was wearing a floaty dress that she'd paired with some simple flats. Stella couldn't help but think she reminded her of a kindergarten teacher. There was a softness about her, a calming aurora that seem to follow her into the room and immediately had her feeling like she could trust her. She didn't know why but she knew that this woman was going to help her, that something about her already had her at ease and she just knew she'd be able to open up to her. She doesn't know why, she doesn't fully understand the feeling but she wasn't going to fight it or question it.

"Good afternoon, I'm doctor Lydia Madement, you must be Stella" she said extending her hand to Stella. Kidd taking it and giving it a firm shake, the doctors focus moving towards Kelly as she spoke up again, "And you are?"

"Kelly Severide" he said extending his own hand, "I'm Stella's boyfriend, she asked if I'd be in with her for this session. I hope that's okay?"

"Of course" Dr Madement said taking her seat, "whatever Stella is comfortable with is good with me. Now this first session is more about getting to know you and what brought you to me" she said directing her words towards the woman currently tucked into Kelly's side. "I see from what you put down on the getting to know you forms that you are a firefighter?"

"I am" Stella confirmed, "we both are. We work out of the same house."

"I see, is that how you met?"

"Well no not really, kinda" Stella said, the story behind them meeting somewhat of a secret around the house. Nobody else but the two of them aware that they had actually met at the academy, Kelly having had the biggest crush on Stella which ended up leading to some rather embarrassing events for the both of them. "Kelly was my instructor at the academy for a while, but we got placed at the same house a few years back. Our relationship didn't really blossom until a few months after that really." She explained, Kidd choosing the shorter version of events to explain how their relationship had come to be.

"I see, and what brings you to me today?"

"I.. well we, the house really, we lost a man a few months ago. Otis. And I've not really been coping with it very well."

"You were close with him?" The doctor asked giving her a sympathetic look.

"Yes, we had a unique relationship, sometimes it was downright competitive but we brought out the best in each other.

The doctor could see the pure admiration behind the woman's eyes for her fallen comrade, Dr Madement sensing that Stella held this man in a higher esteem than she had ever mentioned out loud.

"We just kinda bonded, and we always had this need to out do each other. But there was never any animosity about it, we would egg each other on. Although we were both fiercely wanting to come out on top, we were never upset if the other won. Since he's been gone.. I've.." Stella's words trailed off, her own emotions getting the better of her, fresh tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

"You miss him?"

"More than I can describe." Stella nodded. "It feels like the day he.. the day we lost him" she said sadly, not being able to being herself to say the word 'died'. "That day we lost him, he took a part of me with him. I don't know if I can get that back ever. I just know that without him I feel utterly crippled by this weight."

"How long ago did he die?" Dr Madement asked, the woman not missing the way Stella flinched at the last word.

"Two months ago."

"So not that long really?"

"No but it feels like everyone else has moved on. It feels like I'm the only one that can't get past this."

"There is no time limit on grief Stella. You lost a friend, a fellow fireman and it can take a long time for those wounds to heal." The doctor spoke, her eyes focused directly on Stella's, her next words coming out quietly and slowly, "especially when you can't admit he died."

"What!" Stella stuttered. "Of course I have.. I.. we lost him.. he's gone."

"All those things are true." She nodded, "but have you actually said the words 'my friend died?'"

Kelly glanced at his girlfriend, realisation setting in for him as the doctors words settled in the air around them. He hadn't once heard her utter the fact that Otis had died, she'd used words meaning that but she had never outright said it.

Everyone else in the house they could admit it, they had all spoken about it in the true sense that it was. Otis had died, he had been killed in the line of duty and he was dead. But Stella, she hadn't said any of those things. His girlfriend choosing to say 'they had lost him', or 'he was gone' but she had never said the words 'he died.'

"I.. I.. of course.. haven't I?" Stella stuttered her eyes tracing back and forth between her boyfriend and doctor. Kelly shaking his head sadly at her.

"You haven't babe, not once to my knowledge. The doctor has picked that up quicker than I ever could. Every time we've spoken about Otis, you've avoided the fact he died. That he was killed doing the job we all do. The job that could kill both of us."

"You're in denial Stella" Dr Madement said, her voice remaining at a low tone. "Maybe it's because if you allow yourself to register that he died you fear you are going to open yourself up to the worries of what ifs. Especially as you and your boyfriend are also firefighters. Or maybe it is that you just haven't accepted what happened to him. But you haven't said it and without being able to say it, or admit it, you can't even begin to heal."

She knew what was being said was true, even if she didn't want to admit it right now. She knew that part of what the doctor had said at least was the truth of the matter. She was scared what admitting how her friend, her best friend had died was going to open her up to a whole new world of realisation. That by saying those words out loud, she was admitting to herself that one day that could be her or Kelly. That no matter how careful they all always were going into a burning building, there were a number of possibilities out of their control.

"I...I..." Stella stuttered her voice getting caught in her throat as she tried to talk. "He.. Otis.. he was my best friend and him.. us losing him" she said still unable to bring herself to say the words she needed to. "It's already almost broken me. I'm scared what it'll do if I allow myself to think of why he isn't here anymore. If I allow myself to think of what it was that took him from us."

"I'm not expecting you to be able to say it today Stella" Lydia spoke gently, "but we have made progress already, whether you meant to or not you have already let me in. You've already let me see where you are at in the grief process and by doing so it's going to help me help you through this. This grief, this pain isn't something you can side step, you must walk through it, you must feel it for it to ever get better but you aren't going to do it alone. I'm going to be with you all the way."

"So you want to see her again?" Kelly asked.

Dr Madement nodded her head "yes I will want to see Stella again" she confirmed for him, her focus returning to Stella. "Where you are in your grief is right at the beginning, the part where we are angry and in denial at the same time. And until you've made some progress in accepting what happened I feel it's best if I see you on a weekly basis. We can discuss what you want to do after that but for now I think seeing you weekly is what is best."

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes" Stella almost whispered, her tears starting to slow as she nuzzled closer into Kelly's side. "Everything these past two months.. it's been a lot. I've not been taking care of myself and I almost let everything I've ever cared about go because of it. I'll do anything to prevent that happening."

"Okay, well then" the doctor said leaning back into her chair slightly, "in that case, book an appointment at the desk before you leave and I'll see you next week. I think we've covered good ground for today. I don't want to rush anything or deal with too much at once."

"Thank you" Kelly said raising from his seat slowly, Stella moving with him as the two reached out to shake the doctors hand one after the other. His arm settling around his girlfriends shoulders as they made their way out of the room and back down the corridor to the main reception.

It didn't take them long to book another appointment, Kelly did most of the taking while Stella stood beside him, the woman a little quiet after her session. He didn't push her though, knowing that even though they hadn't spoken about much she'd have a lot on her mind. The way the doctor had hit the nail on the head with how she hadn't accepted the death of Otis would be playing in her mind and he knew she would be over thinking everything trying to figure out if what had been said inside that room was true.

He knew Stella well enough to know that she would be replaying every tiny little detail of the past two months trying to convince herself that she had said those three little words, those words that held such closure, such absolute, that they had so far been too painful for her to utter.

"You doing okay?" He asked as they got to the car.

"I'm okay" she confirmed, a slight nod of her head accompanying the small smile on her face, it was a smile he noticed that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"You sure?" He questioned opening her door for her, "because it would be okay if you weren't."

"I'm just tired, all that talking has kinda taken it out of me. Can we just go home?" She asked quietly sitting herself down. "Please."

Kelly waited a beat to answer her, his eyes tracing over her face to see if he could get a better read on her but all he could see was the clear exhaustion in her eyes, "of course" he nodded.

Truck eight one, ambulance sixty one, squad three. Traffic collision.

It had been one of those days at fifty one, the latest call they were currently being alerted to being the fifth traffic incident since the beginning of shift. Chicago had been hit full force by the high winds currently battering the city and because of it chaos was quickly spreading. Dispatch having been swamped with many accidents and weather related rescues throughout the day. It was a situation that unfortunately they found themselves in often, the drastic changes in conditions due to the unpredictable weather earning them almost as many call outs as fires did but it wasn't often that those weather conditions were because of a full blown storm. The entire house knowing that the more calls they got like this today the less likely it became that they were going to have happy outcomes.

Pulling on his turnout gear Severide glanced over to his girlfriend, her face fixed in game mode as it had been all day but it wasn't fooling him he'd seen the way she had been in the week since her appointment with Dr Madement, the best way he could describe how her behaviour had been was erratic. Stella being absolutely fine one minute before bursting into tears the next, it was never really anything big that had caused the change in her, not really and to anyone else they'd probably say she was being dramatic but Kelly knew different, he knew that she was beginning to process her grief and she was in a fragile place. It was something he knew would happen before long but had caught him off guard the first time it happened.

They walked down the path leading to the small lake, the lake that they walked around a lot, it was only a few blocks from their apartment and Stella loved it there. She would often come down here to think or run depending on what she was needing that day and recently she'd been coming here a lot, more than she had before her first appointment, she'd usually come alone, Stella telling her boyfriend that she just needed some time and it was something he would never deny her not when she so clearly needed it. Today though she had asked Kelly to come with her, he hadn't questioned it and so far they had just walked in silence. Severide content to do whatever it was that his girlfriend needed him to do.

"He really isn't here anymore is he?" She spoke so quietly he almost hadn't heard her, his head snapping round just as the thick tears fell quickly down her skin. "He isn't coming back?"

"No babe, he isn't." Kelly responded sadly pulling her into his chest.

"Lieutenant?" Cruz's voice pulled him from the memory, Severide quickly jumping up into the rig and pulling his door closed as they steamed out of the open doors. "Are you okay?" Cruz asked his gaze glancing quickly to his boss and back to the road.

"I'm good Cruz just drive" Kelly responded shortly. He wasn't okay, not really, he was concerned, he was worried about his girl and how she was holding up, he was worried that her focus may not be completely on the call ahead and he was worried that if he tried to approach the subject with her that it could result in a blow up that neither of them needed.

He felt the rig slowing as they approached the scene, several cars piled up on top of each other and he knew in that moment that not everyone was getting out of this one unscathed. If anything the impact alone would have resulted in injuries, and his fears were only confirmed when they witnessed a woman stumble out of her car, her cries filling the air around them as she screamed for help.

"Please" she shouted, "my daughter and her boyfriend, they're in the back. I can't get them to answer me, help them please" she pleaded with the first person she bumped into, that person being Kidd. Kelly watched for a moment as his girlfriend ran towards the car the woman had appeared from, her head ducking down as she looked inside.

Stella reached the car first, and lent in through the drivers window. She couldn't see much, the entire back seat blocked from view as a piece of wood had shattered the back windows virtually impaling the car. She couldn't be sure of the condition of the kids in the back seat but she knew from experience that it probably wasn't good.

"Fire department, can anyone hear me?" she called into the car, her arm waving the rest of the team over.

"What we got Kidd?" Casey asked, his head coming through the passenger window, his face falling when he saw the scene in front of him.

"I've got nothing in response from either of the occupants Captain" she replied, the Captain nodding slightly.

"Severide?" Casey called into his radio.

"Go ahead Casey"

"We've got a piece of wood that's slid from the truck blocking the entire back seat, we have two occupants and need to get in there."

"On my way" Kelly replied the man turning to tell his men where he needed them.

It took a long time to work out the best way to get access to the back seats, Casey sending Brett in through the back window to help stabilise the victims inside before they started moving the wood.

"Erm Casey?" Brett's voice came through the radio.

"Yeah?"

"I've got a pulse on one of the victims, but the other.." She cut herself off, Matt unsure as to why she hadn't just confirmed what they'd all expected. "I can't find anything, I think we've lost one."

"Okay Brett, collar them both just in case and get out of there."

"Copy that" She responded, making quick work of collaring them both before sliding backwards and out of the car.

Everyone waited with baited breath as they watched Severide and the guys from squad remove the piece of wood, before Truck got in and secured both teenagers to back boards. Unfortunately for the entire team Brett had been right and the girl hadn't made it. Her mother was distraught, it taking several of them to hold her back while they got her daughter loaded onto the ambo to be transported to med. Her boyfriend was barely holding on and they all hoped that they had got to him in time.

There was a heavy feeling in the air, all of them feeling for the young lad that would have his life forever altered if he ever woke up, and the mother who had just lost her child. It was one of those calls that sticks with you and by the time they got back everyone was ready to have a break, everyone splitting off into their own groups and to their own safe spots throughout fifty one, each of them trying desperately to decompress. For each one of them that process was different, Cruz and a few of the squad guys heading out back to shoot some hoops, Hermann heading to his bunk to call Cindy and the kids, while Mouch flopped down on the couch and half watched some documentary.

Stella however chose to head for the showers as she usually did when a call was hard, the woman finding the flow of water over her skin a good a place as any to let out the emotions she needed to in private. She wasn't really sure why she chose a shower when upset, or when she was struggling, she couldn't really pin point if it was because the sound drowned out her cries, or the fact that the burning water alerted all her other senses during the pain she felt in her heart and the constant reply of events and that feeling would distract her for a while, or if when the water eventually turned cold like it always did, it reminded her that she had made it through again. That she had survived another call, or if it was a mixture of all those things combined. All she knew for sure was this was her safe place, this was where she came to do her thinking and healing from those calls that she just couldn't shake and she just hoped that today's shower would help her in the same way all those others had before.

She could still hear the woman's cries in her ear, she could feel the tight grip she'd had upon the young firefighter as Stella had done anything she could to try and comfort the distraught mother in front of her. And in that moment she couldn't help but think of her own grief, her own loss and how maybe what this woman was doing right now was exactly what she needed to do, she needed to break down in the way this woman had and cry it all out of her system. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying desperately to let her hurt flow out, but nothing came, nothing more than a few stray tears. She couldn't do it, she couldn't cry and she needed to, she didn't understand why she couldn't just let this emotions that were building inside her out.

Frustrated and annoyed she blindly punched the wall, a loud groan leaving her lips as she felt the fiery pain spread across her knuckles. Stella pulling her arm back again and repeating the action over and over. Until her arm was caught by something, someone.. she didn't know which or who, her blind rage having lost her all sense of her surroundings.

"Stop" he spoke gently but firmly, Stella's eyes snapping open at the sound of his voice. "You don't hurt yourself Stella, never." Kelly chastised gently, holding her hand towards him so he could access the damage.

"How long have you been stood there?" She asked trying to keep all emotion out of her voice.

"Long enough to know you punched that wall pretty damn hard several times over."

"Are you mad?" she asked, her eyes locking with his.

"I'm concerned."

"Why?"

"Because Stella, you've not been yourself this past week and this call today has thrown you more than I thought it would. I don't think you working at the moment is a good thing, but I also know now isn't the time to discuss it." He watched her nod slowly at him, he was right, she wasn't in the right frame of mind to be working and if she continued she could be putting everyone in danger. "Are you finished in here?"

"I've not actually showered yet" she told him quietly.

"Okay, well finish up. I'm going to wait here and then we're going to get Dawson to look at this before going to speak with the chief."

Stella didn't have it in her to argue, and if she was completely honest with herself she didn't want to. She wanted him to take control, to make this decision for her, she needed him to step up to what they had agreed and make the decisions for now. She wasn't in her right mind, she was grieving and she wasn't doing well, she could barely function properly, let alone know what was right and wrong when it came to the best for her right now. Slowly she nodded her head, watching as he stepped back and pulled the curtain closed once more.

"Dawson" Severide shouted walking across the apparatus floor, the brunette paramedic turning at the sound of her friends voice.

"What's up Sev?" she asked seeing the deep frown etched into his face.

"Can you come check Stella over for me please?"

"Sure" she responded her eyebrow raising slightly, "everything okay?"

"I think she'd busted her hand up. She.. erm.. she punched the shower wall a lot" he said lowering his voice so only Gabby could hear him.

"Why?"

"I don't know, I'm going to go speak with Boden about it after you've checked her over but I think she needs to take some time off. Actually I think we both need to take some time."

It had been something he'd been thinking about a lot the past few days, something that had suddenly dawned on him when they were out walking together. After Otis had died she hadn't taken any time off, she was the only member of fifty one that had continually refused any furlough to deal with her grief and although at the time everyone assumed she was just keeping busy to deal with it, Kelly couldn't help but feel like it was the beginning of her actively avoiding her grief. That by continuing on as normal hadn't been good for her and what she really needed was time away from the house and time away from the job.

It wasn't that he didn't think she was capable of doing her job properly because she was. If anything watching her on the last call proved that but it was beginning to take it's toll on her, each bad call reminded her of the day they lost him and each time it happened a little more of her was chipped away at. She had become a shell of the person she had been and he didn't want her to go further down the dark path she had been heading.

He had already decided that if the chief, well more like when the chief agreed for her leave he was going to suggest going up to the cabin. Sure they could stay at home and deal with it there but the cabin had always been a safe calm place for them both and he knew that up there in the woods they were cut off from anything that could distract them from what they were there for. He didn't want her to go alone, in fact he thought it was a downright ridiculous idea for her to be alone at all at the moment, her mental state being worrisome already. He didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone, but he also knew that she had just started therapy and the doctor may not want her to go away. There were a lot of factors they needed to discuss but the firehouse was not the place to do that.

"She's in there" he told Dawson, the two stopping just outside his office. The blinds were drawn so Gabby had no idea what she was walking into before she did, the paramedic finding her friend sat with her knees pulled to her chest, a blank look across her face as she stared off into the distance.

"Stella" Gabby spoke carefully, approaching her slowly as to not startle her. "Can I see?" she asked looking down towards her bloody hand. Stella gave a quick nod in response before focusing her attention back on the spot on the wall she'd been staring at. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really, I can't feel much" Stella replied sadly.

"Okay well I don't think anything is broken but you are going to have a nasty bruise. Just keep the area clean and a dressing on it for a few days."

"Thanks."

Gabby gave her a small smile in response before sitting down beside her friend, "what's going on in there?" she asked pointing to Stella's head.

"Everything, nothing and anything all at the same time" Stella replied shaking her head. "I thought I could just deal with everything, that with the help of Kelly and Dr Madement I could deal with what happened. But when we saw her she told me I had to accept that Otis di.. that he.."

"Died?" Gabby offered, she knew some of what had been said in the appointment, Kelly having phoned her that evening while Stella was showering to let her know how it had gone.

"Yeah, but she said the only way to do that was to say those words. And I've been trying all week to get them out, to say that he.. that he di.. but I can't, I start saying it and then it's like my voice gets stuck and I fall silent. Its frustrating because I just want to be able to start this process. I have been causing everyone pain because I haven't dealt with it yet and I don't want to lose all of you because I can't handle the grief."

"Listen its not going to be easy, it wasn't for any of us either. But we are here, and if you can't say those words yet that's okay. Kelly told me about what you said the other day about him not coming back. That's a start Stella, its a really good start. Don't push yourself with this."

"It hurts so much" Stella cried leaning her head against her friends shoulder, Gabby immediately wrapping her arm around her shoulders.

"I know it does, but it gets better I promise. When we lost Shay it hurt like nothing I have ever felt, I never thought I was going to be able to carry on without her beside me. But look at me now, yeah it still hurts when I think about how she died, and it hurts like hell whenever I do something and want to tell her about it. Do you know what I do though?" Stella shook her head, "I wear this" she said pointing to her necklace, "it was Shay's, it's my little piece of her. And when I need to talk to her I go to the grave and speak with her, or her spot on the bridge. It helps, a lot. Every year on her anniversary me and Matt we have take out from her favourite takeaway and we remissness about her. By doing those things she is still alive to us. And I know she is looking down on us, especially now." Gabby continued holding her expanding belly. "Shay always wanted a child of her own and when I was pregnant with Bella there were a lot of complications, more than we told the house. We didn't want to worry you guys but it was rough and now with this baby those risks are still there but I know I will be okay, and that my baby will be okay because I know Shay is watching over us and she's far too stubborn to let anything happen to either of us. I know it's not the exact same thing, but Otis is watching over you. What do you think he'd tell you if you were here?"

"He'd tell me to suck it up and get on with my life, well he'd use much nerdier words but that would be the meaning behind it." Stella replied after a few moments of thought. "He would tell me to stop the silliness and probably challenge me to something to help me get past it."

"Exactly he wouldn't like to see you like this. And he wouldn't like you punching walls and injuring yourself would he?"

"No he'd be mega pissed with me hurting myself" She agreed quietly.

"Exactly, so lets try not to do it again yeah?"

"I won't I promise."

Kelly collect the last of the logs, the man trying to make sure to carry as much as possible in one go so that he didn't have to spend anymore time outside and away from his girl. They'd come straight to the cabin this morning after waking up, both of them clearing it with the chief before leaving shift. Kelly had initially wanted them to leave after finding Stella in the shower but by the time his girlfriend found him in the chiefs office she told him she was feeling better and that she didn't want to skip out mid shift. So after a bit of back and forth between the couple it was agreed they would come here first thing, the two only stopping by their apartment to pick up some clothing before hitting the road.

Once they'd arrive Kelly had set out to cutting the logs for the fire, Severide telling Stella that despite the warm July weather they would appreciate his effort come the evening. Stella had set to fixing them some lunch and writing a list of things they'd need to go get from the store before settling down with her book and just taking some time for herself.

They'd spoken to her doctor before heading out, Stella having a rather long conversation with Dr Madement about the events of the previous day and explaining that her a Kelly were both planning on taking some time off work and how Kelly had thought a trip to the cabin would do her some good. It hadn't taken much convincing for the doctor to agree that it was a good idea, especially when she heard how the cabin had little to no cell service. She agreed that getting back to nature and having time away from their lives would help. And so far both Kelly and her doctor had been right, it wasn't a complete fix of course. There was no way to just magically make all her pain go away but Kelly had witnessed the tension leave her body the further out of the city they got, and by the time they pulled up outside the cabin she had even been cracking jokes something that he hadn't heard her do in a long time, far too long for his liking.

"You need a hand with that?" She asked snapping him out of his thoughts, Stella stood watching him from the kitchen a cup of coffee in her hand.

"I got it" he told her almost juggling the wood over to beside the fire. He got there just in time as the top one rolled off and crashed to the ground, Stella howling at him when she saw the rest of the logs suddenly fall from his arms.

"I thought you had it" she laughed.

"I did" he said turning to her a bright grin on his own face. "Did you get your list sorted?"

"I did, we need a few bits. Did you realise there's no toilet paper in this place like at all?"

"Well its been a while since we've been up here." He told her "it's been what a year?"

"I actually think the last time you came up here was with Casey" Stella replied placing her cup down and moving towards him, picking up the notepad resting on the side as she did. "You two did that fishing weekend remember?"

"I do" he nodded, he remembered it well him and Casey coming up for the weekend almost a year ago, the two of them having absolutely no luck on the lake but it had been a fun weekend nonetheless. "So what do we need then?"

"Food, water, some household bits, nothing major." Stella speaking as she went down the list of everything, "some beer maybe?"

Kelly's eyebrow raised at that, ever since she'd told him about her drinking during her grounding he'd been worried about her using it for the wrong reasons.

"What?"

"Stella we're not up here to get drunk.."

"I never said we were" she snapped slightly, "I'm just saying that if we are dealing with all this then I may need a drink some nights. I'm not going to get blind drunk."

"No because we won't be buying beer."

"Kelly come on."

"No Stella." His voice was firm and low, the man closing the short distance between them so he was eye to eye with her, "we aren't buying beer today. Maybe in a few days once you've dealt with some of what's bothering you, then maybe we'll get some but I don't want you turning to drinking again."

Stella huffed loudly, the brunette trying hard not to roll her eyes at him, "god I tell you I'm struggling and you go all over protective on me."

"Stella" he warned.

"What! I'm an adult Kelly.."

"An adult that is struggling and has already admitted she has been using alcohol as an escape." He countered.

Stella didn't say another word as she turned on her heel, Kelly watching as she slipped her shoes back on and left the cabin. Every fibre in him told him to go after her, to follow her and make sure she was okay but he didn't, he knew she hadn't left to annoy him. She left because she needed space, she needed some air, she'd be back he was sure of that. Before long she'd come back to the cabin and they could speak about it properly.

It wasn't how he imagined their first afternoon up here going, in fact it was far from it but there was nothing he could do about it now other than wait it out.

So there we are, another chapter down.

Stella is beginning to deal with her grief and Kelly is trying his hardest to remind a strong presence for her without coming across as over bearing. I really love how they help each other through things on the show, I feel like both their characters have always needed someone to be their person. And in each other they have found that. Of course Severide has always had Casey, and Stella has always had the girls, but there are always some sides of you that you keep close and only let certain people into.

I hope you all liked this one. I enjoyed writing it. And I'm even more excited about the next chapter, there are some really sweet moments on the horizon. I mean there just had to be right? They are in a cabin in the woods, with a lake pretty much to themselves, there are so many options for sweet Stellaride moments.

Leave me a comment to let me know what you thought of this weeks update? PLEASE :-)

Until next week! :)