Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Chapter Thirteen
"We have to get him to Gaius," Arthur said grimly once he'd fastened the last of the bandages. They'd done what they could, but he knew without real treatment, Merlin didn't have long. The knights moved quickly, grabbing the horses and preparing to ride.
"What if the maera escapes the nightmare once we get to Camelot?" Percival asked quietly as he lifted Merlin onto Arthur's horse, helping Arthur settle him into the saddle in front of him. The wounds on his chest prevented them from simply laying him across his own horse, as they might have in other circumstances.
It was a fair question. Arthur didn't have an answer.
Merlin saw the flash of Arthur's sword coming towards him, but he didn't feel pain when it landed. He felt just a moment of cold against his throat, and then it disappeared, as did Arthur.
He was in Gaius's chambers. And somehow he was standing, despite all of his blood loss, watching Gaius kneel on the floor next to a body.
It felt eerily familiar. He had seen this before. Dread made his steps heavy as he approached Gaius, the face of the body coming into view.
"Mother?" he whispered. She was disfigured with illness, but it was her.
"You did this," Gaius accused, looking up at him in horror. "You bargained with Nimueh to trade a life, and you have murdered your mother. Who are you to toy with life and death?"
The darkness of the chambers was suddenly replaced with the glaring brightness of sunlight. He was in the courtyard, a crowd standing around them. And above him, Arthur stood on the balcony. He spoke with Uther's voice.
"For your crimes of sorcery and betrayal, you are hereby sentenced to death."
Merlin looked down and realized he couldn't move. His arms were tied behind him, and he stood on a pile of wood.
No…
Gaius approached, a torch in his hand.
"How could you?" he asked, his voice breaking with disappointment. "How many times did I tell you your magic was a secret to be guarded with your life?" He lowered the torch to the pyre, and as the fire rose up around Merlin, he could see Arthur watching impassively through the flames.
And somewhere in Merlin's mind, something tugged.
Gaius would never do that. No matter what Merlin did, his guardian would never abandon him in his final moments.
Arthur didn't bother waiting for the knights. He had the fastest horse, and he pushed it as hard as he could. He galloped through the early hours of the morning, one arm holding Merlin upright. Several times he felt Merlin twitch against his arm, and he did his best to inspect for any new wounds. But as far as he could tell, nothing new appeared, to both his surprise and relief.
"Hold on, Merlin," he muttered. "Just…don't die before I can get you to Gaius. Hold on."
He was in the throne room, and behind him he heard the tearing of fabric. He held a flask of water in his hand. Turning around, he saw Morgana kneeling on the floor. Not Morgana as he had last seen her, wild and raging, but Morgana as he had once known her.
"Here," he heard himself say, holding the flask out to her.
"I'm fine."
Merlin felt himself start to tremble. This too was familiar.
"No, you have some before I finish it."
He saw the gratitude in Morgana's eyes, the small smile.
"Thank you."
It was the last time she had ever looked at him that way. The last time she had ever smiled at him. Merlin wanted to reach out and grab the flask from her hands as she drank, but of course, he couldn't. He couldn't change history.
And now he would turn away…
But he didn't. He watched her, and when the first cough left Morgana's lips, he felt a smile stretch across his face.
"Merlin?" she gasped, struggling for breath.
"What a fool you were, Morgana," he said, "to befriend a sorcerer. Don't you know magic corrupts all those who carry it?"
He heard himself laugh as she fell to the floor, terror in her eyes.
No! That wasn't what happened! He had wept, he had held her! He remembered this!
That isn't what happened!
Camelot was in sight, although still in the distance, when Arthur felt Merlin began to shake violently. Checking again, he saw no new wounds, although he could feel that that the arm across Merlin's chest was bloody; the wounds were bleeding through the bandages.
Then, to his shock, Merlin cried out in a weak and anguished voice.
"That isn't what happened!"
Arthur wasn't willing to stop, but he tried to twist so that he could see Merlin's face. His servant was still definitely asleep, although his face was contorted in pain.
"It's okay," he promised, knowing his servant couldn't hear him. "We're almost there."
He had not laughed when Morgana died! And magic did not corrupt all who carried it! Why had he said that?
Why was he experiencing any of this?
He almost didn't realize that the throne room had faded away, replaced by the forest. In the distance, he heard the clanging of swords and men yelling.
"Merlin," he heard a voice wheeze on the ground near his feet. Looking down, he saw Arthur lying on his back, a sword protruding from his stomach.
"Arthur!" He knelt down beside the king, staring in horror at the wound.
"I'm scared, Merlin. Help me." Arthur's body shivered, his eyes wide in fear.
"I can help," Merlin said. "Here." Flinching, he took hold of the sword, feeling sick at the squelching sound it made as it pulled free.
"Save me, Merlin. Please, save me!"
Merlin held his hands out, reaching for his magic.
But there was nothing there.
That wasn't possible! Magic was a part of him. How could it not be there?
"Gestepe hole! Þurhhæle!" he roared, but he knew it wouldn't work.
How could this be happening?
Because this is a nightmare.
The Ainthia, Merlin realized. What had Kilgharrah called it? The Summoner of Nightmares? The Ainthia had taken him into a nightmare with the maera, but once the maera was dead, it had just taken him to the next nightmare.
And the next.
And the next.
"Please, Merlin," Arthur begged.
"Licsar ge staðol nu!" Merlin tried again.
Arthur let out a weak laugh. "Some protector you turned out to be."
It wasn't real. It was the crystal. None of this was real.
Merlin tried to reach through to wakefulness as he watched Arthur die in front of him.
"It isn't real! Get it off! GET THE AINTHIA OFF!"
When Merlin cried out again, it didn't shock Arthur as much. He didn't like it, but it was somewhat low on his list of concerns at the moment. And then he heard what Merlin cried.
"Get it off! GET THE AINTHIA OFF!" It was more than a yell; it was a shriek, filled with desperation.
And very specific. Eyes wide, Arthur slowed for a moment, fumbling to pull the crystal off of Merlin and shoving it in his pocket.
"Merlin?"
For just a moment, his servant opened his eyes, searching until he saw Arthur behind him. Then he faded away once more.
The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon when Arthur finally reached Camelot. The gates were still closed, and he yelled as he approached.
"Open the gates! By order of the king! Now!"
The guards' eyes flew wide, but they tore into action so Arthur barely had to slow down when he reached the gate. The citadel was still mostly empty, and he did not slow again until he reached the courtyard.
Merlin was bleeding freely again, Arthur noted numbly as he raced to Gaius's chambers. The bandages might as well not be there.
He burst into the physician's quarters at full speed.
"Gaius!"
"Wha-?" he heard the physician gasp, sitting up in bed.
"Merlin. He's dying."
Gaius was by Arthur's side in a moment, all signs of sleepiness gone as he watched Arthur lay Merlin down on a cot.
"What happened?" he asked, bending down to examine his ward.
"He fought the maera," Arthur said. "Using the Ainthia."
"He fought it from within the nightmare?"
"Yes. But apparently the wounds aren't contained within the dream."
"No," Gaius murmured, "they wouldn't be." He rushed over to his shelves, grabbing a couple of bottles before hurrying back to Merlin.
"What can I do?" Arthur asked.
"You can get Gwen. Without Merlin, she's the best able to assist me. And then you can get out."
"What are you doing out here?"
Arthur looked up to see the four knights coming up the stairs towards him. They'd clearly come straight to the physician's chambers when they arrived; they were covered in dirt and blood.
"What do you think I'm doing?" Arthur asked, gesturing towards Gaius's door. "I'm waiting for news."
"I'm just surprised you're out here and not in there," Gwaine observed, prompting Arthur's scowl to deepen.
"Gaius kicked me out."
"I don't blame him," Elyan said with a sympathetic look that didn't really match his words. Arthur raised his eyebrows at him and he rushed to explain, "I'm sure he needs to focus, and you kind of…have a presence. You hovering wouldn't help him."
Arthur huffed.
After a moment, Gwaine sat down beside him. "Did he ever wake?"
Arthur nodded, remembering Merlin's screams before he removed the Ainthia. "Only for a moment though."
"So he's not still fighting the maera?"
"I don't think so. He asked me to remove the Ainthia." Kind of. "I don't think he would have done that unless it was over."
The five of them sat in silence for several minutes before Arthur finally said, "You lot look rough. Go clean up and get some rest. I'll send word once I have news."
Gwaine snorted. "We look rough? Arthur, you are literally covered in blood from head to toe."
Arthur glanced down in surprise. They were right; he had blood everywhere.
"Go." Gwaine nudged him. "We'll send for you as soon as Gaius tells us anything."
Arthur gave Gwaine the most scathing look he could manage, and the group fell back into silence.
"Sire," a proper voice said above him a few minutes later.
Arthur cringed before forcing himself to look up at a face he did not want to see.
"I heard you had returned from your journey," George continued, a tray in his hands. "Since you have not yet returned to your quarters, I thought I might bring breakfast to you and your companions here."
He had literally no facial expression. How could someone keep their face so entirely blank?"
"Thank you, George," Percival said, taking the tray. The servant looked startled to have the large knight respond instead of Arthur, but he surrendered the food without a fight.
"Can I bring you anything else, sire?" he asked, turning his attention back to Arthur.
"No," Arthur answered shortly.
"Shall I prepare a bath for you for when you return to your quarters?"
Gritting his teeth, Arthur decided maybe it would be good to give the servant something to do. "That would be great."
"And when do you think that will be, sire?"
Percival took one look at Arthur's face and clapped a hand down on George's shoulder, guiding him down the stairs. Arthur could hear his protests, but apparently Percival managed to persuade him that it would be best to leave the king alone for a bit.
"Okay," Gwaine announced, standing up. "I can't stand this. I'm just going to poke my head in." The knight opened the door very slightly and peered in. Apparently someone inside noticed, because he said, "Just checking on him. Can I come in?"
Gwaine stepped inside, and Arthur scrambled to his feet, following him without waiting for permission.
Gaius and Gwen were both seated by Merlin's side; the flurry of activity that Arthur had seen earlier was over. Gaius rested a hand on Merlin's head, and Gwen held his hand, but otherwise the scene was still.
"How is he?" Gwaine's voice was uncharacteristically quiet with worry.
Gaius shook his head. "He's not good. Honestly, he would already be dead if—" Gaius spotted Arthur then and broke off.
"If what?" Arthur prompted gently.
Gaius's face tightened into the angry and disapproving expression that Arthur had seen so many times in the past week and a half. "If he didn't have his magic," the physician finished. "I think it must be all that has kept him alive this long."
"Then I'm glad he has it," Arthur replied softly, but Gaius had turned his attention back to the patient, and Arthur wasn't sure he'd heard him. Or maybe he just hadn't believed him.
"He was very brave," Arthur said. "I wouldn't have asked my strongest knight to face that monster singlehandedly, and Merlin did it without a second thought. Honestly, he seemed more afraid of the Ainthia than of the maera."
"Yes, well, it rather simplifies things for you, doesn't it?" Gaius pointed out crisply. "If he gets torn apart by a monster in an effort to save Camelot, I suppose that solves your problem and absolves you of guilt."
Arthur froze, staring at Gaius. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Gaius stood up and turned to face the king, the lines of his face deepened by anger and grief.
"It means," he said coldly, "if Merlin dies, you don't have to figure out what to do about a sorcerer. And if he dies saving Camelot, you don't have to feel guilty about his death."
Gwaine put a hand on Arthur's chest before Arthur even realized he had moved.
"Easy, Arthur." Turning his attention to Gaius, he said, "Arthur risked his own safety to save Merlin. Even after Merlin hit him with magic and injured him, he insisted on treating Merlin's wounds himself. And he's risking Camelot by bringing Merlin here when we don't even know yet if the maera is dead."
Gaius's eyebrows rose in surprise and he turned to Arthur. "Is that true?" he asked skeptically.
"Yes." The weight of Gaius's scrutiny made him uncomfortable, so Arthur took a few steps towards Merlin, trying to see his servant. "I may be angry, but I don't want him to die, Gaius. He's—" he broke off, unsure how to finish it. "He's Merlin."
Gwen looked up from Merlin and smiled at him. "He's your friend."
Arthur let out a derisive snort, but that just made Gwen laugh. Glancing back, he saw Gaius still studying him.
"Unless something drastic changes, he shouldn't die within the next hour," Gaius finally said. "And you're both a mess. This is a place of healing; I can't have you spreading dirt and blood over everything. Go clean up, and then you if you want, you can return and sit with him."
Gwaine chuckled. "I know when I'm being kicked out." He nodded respectfully at Gaius. "I'll be back."
Arthur lingered a moment longer, looking at Merlin. He seemed to be sleeping calmly now, without the twitching and mutters that had punctuated his sleep during the fight and the flight to Camelot.
"Come on, Arthur," Gaius said quietly.
Arthur turned to face the physician. "Gaius, I know you're still furious with me, but…" Arthur sighed. But what? He wasn't sure he was sorry for the things had had done; he still felt his anger against Merlin was justified. But he was sorry for what he had put Gaius through.
"Thank you for taking care of him."
"I don't do it for you, sire." Gaius spoke the words with surprise, not malice, and Arthur smiled.
"I know. But I'm thankful all the same. Please send word if anything in his condition changes."
Gaius considered him for a moment, then nodded. "I will do that, sire."
AN: We're coming up on the end - two more chapters to go! As always, thank you for the reviews (the reviews from the last chapter blew me away!), and thank you for reading!
As a side note, my well of inspiration seems to be running a little dry for one-shots, so feel free to send me prompts if you have something you'd like to see!