Pairing: None
Rating: K
Walking Pokémon
It was a standard day in Johto. Maybe Kanto. Must have been spring or summer, because the trees were green and Misty was dressed like she had no concern for the weather or UV rays, and our trio found themselves walking…somewhere. Probably a town, probably for a badge, because rarely did anything else happen in Johto.
"Hey, where's Pikachu?" Misty suddenly asked.
"Gah! I left him in the last chapter!" Ash cried, scrambling as he began to run back the way he'd come. "I gotta go get him!"
"Were it if you could," Brock said. "But you actually had him last two chapters ago and last chapter without him is already posted. So it's too late to just run back and get him."
"No!" Ash whined. "No one will notice if I just grab him and put him on my shoulder again, will they?"
"Probably not?" Misty offered, though the idea was weak with confidence. "I mean, you didn't notice you'd left him behind."
"Hey!" Ash steamed. "It wasn't me! It was the author!"
"Doesn't matter, Ash," Brock said. "Now we're stuck without him until the author slips him back in. Let's just hope we don't need him in the meanti—"
"Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double!"
Ash's eyes widened with worry. "Brock, you jinxed us!"
"Actually, this can't be that bad, right?" Misty said. "If Pikachu's not here, then Team Rocket can't steal him."
"Stop interrupting us!"
The shout came from Jessie, and while Ash, Misty, and Brock most definitely heard it, they continued to ignore the old motto.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"I'm not sure, Misty," Brock mused. "They've dropped in on us before when we've been missing Pikachu and they still manage to bother us."
"Hey!" Misty shouted, her voice shrill enough that Ash bothered to cover his ears. "We don't have Pikachu, so why don't you guys scram!"
"No Pikachu?" James asked. "Why not? Is this a no-Pokémon AU?"
"But I'm here, Jimmy," Meowth piped up, popping out from where he'd been waiting for his part of the motto. It now seemed as though that part wasn't coming, so why bother hiding?
"The author forgot about him," Ash answered dejectedly.
"Tch, typical," Jessie said. "They never manage to remember to write how beautiful I am."
"I guess some things go without saying, Jess," James commented.
"Hey! It looks like Togepi isn't here eitha!" Meowth exclaimed.
Misty suddenly stared at her arms as though she'd just lost something she'd been holding. What had she been doing with her arms up until that moment? She had no idea.
"Maybe this story takes place before we got Togepi?" Brock offered.
"There wasn't ever a specified setting," James agreed.
"But then how do we know about Togepi, Brock?" Ash asked.
"Third person omniscient?" Misty suggested.
"This is a mess," Jessie groaned, walking away from the twerps. "I refuse to take part in a story that's so poorly crafted. It's a waste of my talents."
"But you took part in dat terrible school play in Alola, Jess!"
"Wow, Alola?" Brock exclaimed. "That's way in the future."
"Your love life is way in the future," Jessie grumbled. "C'mon, let's go find the moral."
"…Where's the moral?" Ash asked, watching as all three of his foes retreated.
In unison, they answered: "Where Pikachu is."
Moral: Okay, so this is the thing I'm probably most guilty of out of everything I'm going to write about because I do it all the darn time. Pikachu is the worst, because any story with Ash (99% of my stories) inevitably have Pikachu. He's always there but often not doing anything, but you have to write him in just to show that he's there. Togepi is less active and therefore even clumsier to include, same for Dedenne, while Axew is easier to hide and Piplup and Squishy have more personality. But this is a toughie. Godspeed to any Pokémon writer trying to manage this. I feel your pain.
Exception: Obviously non-Pokémon AUs. If there's another solution besides that, please let me know, because someone needs to save me from myself.